oranges are apples' natural predator @ranchdiip - Tumblr Blog

hello. i'm ranch (he/it), some kind of unauthorized fucking thing. let's answer some questions

aren't you the purple cat guy?

yes

didn't you write "who wants to live forever?"

yes

do you do fic requests?

only for mutuals

will you ever update [insert fic here]?

short answer: yes. long answer: yes, but don't ask when cause idk either

what's your icon?

matthew the raven from netflix sandman eating a beef lo mein noodle, which is fanart for WWTLF by @klnghen from this post

i sent you an ask/messaged you/tagged you and you never responded.

i am notoriously bad at responding to anything at all, really. also i keep nice asks to look at when i'm sad

do you have links?

ao3 | art tag | talk tag | kofi

(if there's anything you'd like me to tag don't hesitate to ask, just know that i might not always remember)

#ranch talks

beaft

the phrase "but i didn't mean to!" in the context of causing harm is kind of redundant to me, because almost nobody means to cause harm. most of us just want to do the right thing. and i don't mean that in a wishy-washy "oh, we're all good deep down" way, i mean that even people who regularly do the most heinous shit imaginable will have a way of justifying it to themselves. the world is not populated by hollywood sadists and psychopaths.

beaft

actually i have been thinking about this some more and i want to add on to it:

abuse in caregiving professions (like teaching or nursing) is not solely a result of power dynamics. it's also because people who go into those professions often have a idea of themselves as Good People, and are consequently incapable of recognising or acknowledging when they've hurt someone else. instead, they mentally put 'people who have inconvenienced me' into the Bad People box so they can freely abuse them while maintaining their moral high ground.

i read ross greene a lot when i was working with "difficult" or "behaviourally challenged" children. his refrain is "kids do well if they can" - meaning, in short, that most kids act out only when the demands of a situation exceed their capabilities. punishing them for this is not only cruel but also completely pointless, because they also don't want to be doing what they are doing.

a teacher who believes that there are two categories of people - Good People who Mean Well, and Bad People who Cause Problems on Purpose - is not going to see it that way. they're gonna put themselves in the first category, and the misbehaving kid in the second category. and once they have effectively depersoned the child and placed themselves on a pedestal, the world becomes simple again. because abuse is something that only Bad People do.

beemovieerotica

hate it when pets learn words, my dog flips out when he hears "greenie" so we had to start saying "G word" but now he knows G word so we have to say shit like "are we out of emerald indulgences"

cucurb

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

elisecairo

katherynefromphilly

As someone who was alive when Bob Ross (and William Alexander before him — that’s where the approach is from) was on PBS, I can 100% testify that you can paint along with him.

You may need to learn how to set up your paints and such… but this is what people did, live, while the show aired. That’s what the show was for. I had family members create lovely works of art they enjoyed, which I still have on my walls, because William Alexander and Bob Ross both said:

SCREW METICULOUS CLASSICAL ART PRACTICES — JUST GRAB A PALETTE KNIFE AND BIG OLD BRUSH AND PAINT!

They freed a whole generation of people who were taught to paint detail and realism and exact representation of reality — people who largely gave up this kind of thing because it got tedious.

I watched the joy of family members as they rediscovered art as a messy fun spontaneous half hour activity.

Give it a try.

pangur-and-grim

what I've learned from having other people edit my work is that I have a sick addiction to commas

pangur-and-grim

there have been four editing passes on my spider sex book, and each time they take away so many commas. no fresh commas are being added, this is just a continued culling. if you see a comma in the final book please understand that it survived so much

pangur-and-grim

veemochi

ethanmaldridge

"The America I loved still exists, if not in the White House or the Supreme Court or the Senate or the House of Representatives or the media. The America I love still exists at the front desks of our public libraries."

-Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country

hometoursandotherstuff

yellow-cat

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

#posts to show my psychiatrist

pangur-and-grim

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

pangur-and-grim

halondrus

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled

halondrus

art is not my strong suit but this is my best recreation of what i saw when i opened the window. i have to emphasize that she was supermodel levels of gorgeous

bebs-art-gallery

Albert Square, Manchester (1910) by Adolphe Valette | Contemporary Art (2015) by Emily Allchurch

bread-making-vikings

the top is an original, from 1910, the bottom is a new version painted in 2015

spacedouterri

THE BOTTOM IS A PAINTING????

open-sketchbook

also does a really good job reminding the view just how much air quality has improved since we stopped burning coal in every building lol

grundoonmgnx

Lindsay Merrill (American b. 1987), Untitled, 2026

Oil on canvas, 41 ⅞ x 55 ⅞ in

toastyglow

the backrooms are simply not as scary conceptually if there is Something In Them

toastyglow

the whole reason why they're so unnerving is BECAUSE there's nothing in them!! because they're unrelentingly liminal and lonely and uncomforting. there shouldn't be a monster guy in there chasing you. you should glimpse other humans (?) from a distance but they walk away before you can close the gap and then they're gone. things should run away from YOU. do u get it

toastyglow

"and there was a MONSTERowooowwohhhh" the monster is isolation and banal beige sameness and uncanny valley architecture. you fool. you rube. you're putting a hat on a hat and the second hat is not only unnecessary but it ruins the first hat!!!!!!! "there's a monster in there" great so now it's just another place for a monster to be. ridiculous