How Orochimaru Talks to and about Infants
(Also known as Orochimaru doesn’t know baby talk)
In a conversation between me, @awintersrose, and @aspookyrayofsunshine on Discord, we came up with these gems.
Orochimaru is randomly handed a baby. "fuck, I want one."
"an astute observation but you need a nap"
"what exactly did you mean to accomplish by puking all over me? What do you have to gain?" small baby noises. "fair enough."
"Ah, you don't like my haori. Fair point."
"It's an impressive escape attempt. Unfortunately you are very small, so that won't work."
Orochimaru with disheveled hair and spit up on his yukata, and positively glowing happy. There are lil holes in all his sleeves from teething baby sneks.
cranky baby in his playpen whining about the situation. "he decided to wreak havoc so I'm making him take a time out to think about his life choices." and suigetsu is like:
“boy's too young to even have a coherent thought, but aight”
"you're actually okay with <various baby shenanigans>". "words can't describe how okay with this i am"
“No you are too young to handle hydrochloric acid. It is highly corrosive and you have clumsy little hands”
“Despite your keeping me awake for the last 72 hours with your constant cries, you are still less difficult than dealing with Sasuke as a teenager”
“Mitsuki, karins arm is not a chew toy.” “.......................................oh so NOW it's not for biting.”
“Suigetsu, you are aware an infant of this size cannot SWIM, yes?” "I did.” "you're made of water that doesn't count." "humans are all mostly water aren’t they?" "listen here you little shit"
*post edited for clarity
