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I go by Ranku on most sites. I don't even know what I post on this page anymore. Mostly just reblogs of Fandom stuff I find funny. 28 bi and bored.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

dogs are right about doorbells. a doorbell ringing is a THREAT and should be met with an appropriate aggression display

[probablybadrpgideas]

female cyclopes also have only one huge single boob in the middle of their chest

­

[ranku-abadeer]

You mean like the one boob lady from "Kung Pow: Enter the Fist"?

[teaboot]

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

[teaboot]

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

[teaboot]

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

[teaboot]

A little bit for Monica, she's my wife

A little bit for Erica, for her strife

My books all go to Rita, cause she reads

My greenhouse goes to Tina, she plants trees

The furniture is Sandra's, on my lawn

Jewelry for Mary, she can pawn

Ashes go to Jessica, that's my plan

A little bit of me inside a can (ah!)

[newrider]

[wamscoastsmoker]

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

[notsocialphobixanymorelmao-deac]

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

[wamscoastsmoker]

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

[junk-thunder]

[deeply concerned] whose pussy is this?

[stillyahomegirlt]

[viiioca]

i think my favorite ff14 narrative gimmick is that the savage raid unlocks are explicitly just the WOL having adhd daydreams about the cool shit they've done. the omega raids are even explicitly about cid trying to put on an ASMR tibetan meditation spotify playlist to calm them down but the WOL is unmedicated so it really only makes the problem worse

[kakushino]

All of theseare great like

Wtf am I supposed to reblog?

[straytheskies]

its 3 am and im tire d and someone posted this strategy board in ffxiv and im crying

[tipsygeek]

I saw this yesterday and it really cracked me up!

Also this one in the same run (and a few others I could share...)

[gilgameshhimself]

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

[higglety]

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

[pubby-paws]

Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward

[goblinization]

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

so ive thought this was the funniest thing since i was 15 and it pops up in my head constantly, but in Not Being American i have come to realise over the years that 1. the beginning is lyrics from a real country song and 2. the astronaut attempted murder was real. nothing in here is made up

[sandmandaddy69]

[galadrielspeaks]

[comradekatara]

there are only so many world leaders, right? and they’re all beholden to sokka in some major way…

the avatar: will be 35 years old and still have a pavlovian response to sokka saying “all right everyone, time for bed!” 

the firelord: so ride or die it’s honestly concerning

the earth king: owes to sokka his newfound knowledge of basic critical thinking skills

chief of the northern water tribe: his daughter seemed to think he was pretty dope before she turned into the moon

chief of the southern water tribe: thinks her brother is an idiot but has good ideas sometimes, and appreciates the fact that he doesn’t care whether or not he gets credit for them as long as they’re implemented 

not to mention that toph is basically a one-woman weapon of mass destruction who does not listen to anyone—with the crucial exception of one person—and guess who that is!

and he’s basically an honorary member of the white lotus???

basically what I’m saying is sokka secretly rules the world

[ruffboi-mags]

I think what you’re saying is that sokka secretly rules the world and has no fucking idea.

[comradekatara]

yep. sokka is legitimately way too humble to realize the immense power he wields. if anything, he considers himself a glorified accountant/secretary for his friends.

out of the people who do know, I would say it’s split into roughly three categories:

people who are duly aware of just how much influence sokka has in the decisions and advances made in postwar geopolitics: zuko, toph, iroh, suki, azula, ty lee, mai, piandao, arnook, pakku (but he hates it)

people who think sokka is their cool smart friend who helps them out when they cannot solve a certain problem: aang, kuei

people who think sokka just fucks around all day reading and tinkering with his little machines: katara, sokka

[atlaheritageposts]

atla heritage post

[chisai236]

I think the end of Endwalker is so interesting when you consider the story of Zenos being the one that helps WOL stop Endsinger and the Final Days.

If you and/or your WOL likes Zenos (or has positive leaning complicated feelings about him), then it's this really powerful moment where Zenos finally seems to have a breakthrough of understanding enough that he comes to find WOL at the edge of the universe, and upon seeing Endsinger is still alive, helps the WOL defeat her while never for a moment thinking he and WOL could fail to win. Resulting in Etheirys being saved, and the Final Days at last being completely put to rest. A feat even the ancients and acians couldn't fully achieve.

And if you and/or your WOL hates, doesn't care about, or dislikes Zenos, then all of that still happens. Only with the added funny note that the entirety of Etheirys, your friends, family, the world you love, and creation at large was saved at the last minute by the power of unrequited friendship.

And honestly, I think that's incredible

[infertilityidol]

eating a bullet call that kirkish delight

[jrvslee]

da south.

[matchstickz]

[ID: A painting in the impressionist style, presumably in acrylic. It depicts a Waffle House franchise seen from the parking lot, with two cars in the foreground. The lights are on in the Waffle House. There are small silhouettes of people inside. The background is a night sky made of swirling shapes, mimicking Van Gogh’s ‘Starry Night’. The colors are all very warm, giving a comforting effect to the painting. End ID.]

[jame7t]

I just discovered the Forest Orb

[cryptotheism]

Can we just go to the club like normal

[jame7t]

You don't get to have sex until we discover an Orb for each imperiled kingdom.

[cryptotheism]

WHAT DID I DO

[andhumanslovedstories]

Alcohol is crazy. One small cocktail enters your body and fifteen minutes later, it has transmogrifie into like a gallon of piss

[andhumanslovedstories]

That is the drunkest way I could have spelled that