How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and sheās like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears
The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out ālet me onā in unison and then since Iām driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said ādo you play fortniteā and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted āTHIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITEā and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite
A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.
The hero we deserve
When I was on register at Kohlās a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too
i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said āyour ring is very prettyā and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said ādoes that mean youāre marrying two people?!ā
I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom āthat lady has superpowers, donāt tell anyone or the government will take her awayā.
The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.
god I love tiny kids
there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screamingĀ āCHEMICALSā at the top of his lungs. he wouldnāt even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.
I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said ādoes your insurance cover that?ā
I was taking the drink order for a family at work and I asked their kid what he wanted to drink and he just looked at me with a completely deadpan expression and saidĀ āvodkaā and me and the parents just fucking lost it
kid I used to babysit asked why my lips were different (she was two), and when I told her that it was because I was wearing lipstick, she yelled,Ā āMAYA, I WANT LIPITZ.ā
I work in a school and every time I draw anything on the board (I am a terrible artist and usually resort to stick men), the kids will all go āI love your picture, thatās a great drawing Missā. So blindly supportive.
One time my younger brother ordered a ānon-alcoholic fantaā at a hotel bar and the bartender lost his shit and I was never the same man
When I was student teaching, I was taking my fourth graders back from lunch and noticed one little girl looking longingly at the playground, where the younger kids were having recess. She heaved a big sigh and said, āI used to be that free.ā
oh my god little kids in the library are the BEST one time i was looking for a book and a little girl tried to help me cause we always help HER find the books she wants. sometimes when iām helping them check out theyāll tell me about the books theyāre getting. i know so much about dog man.
oh man! another hilarious thing kids in the library do! they will straight up TELL ON THEIR PARENTS!
mom: the book was like that when we checked it out
child, innocently confused: i thought (little brother) did that though?
dad: yes thatās our correct address and phone number
child, barely paying attention: we MOOOOVED!! :D
parent: we never checked that book out
child, trying to be helpful: yes we did, thatās the one we lost at grandmaās house, remember?
me, fighting laughter and trying to decide whether or not the enter the childās testimony as official evidence or not
I know Iāve told this story on Tumblr before, but one of my favorite retail experiences was when I was stocking shelves once and dropped a couple of small plastic toys, and a little girl ZOOMED up, grabbed them, held them up to me, and when I thanked her, said āIām closer to the floor, so itās TEAMWORK! :Dā and zoomed off back to her mom
































