Read Supreme

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I have made many mistakes and no doubt will make more before I die. When I have seen pain, when I have found that my ineptness has caused displeasure. I have learned to accept my responsibility and to forgive myself first, then to apologize to anyone injured by my misreckoning. Since I cannot un-live history, and repentance is all I can offer God, I have hopes that my sincere apologies were accepted.

Maya Angelou, Letter To My Daughter

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Failure to observe what is in the mind of another has seldom made a man unhappy; but those who do not observe the movements of their own minds must of necessity be unhappy.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

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The individual gets into trouble because he cannot be quiet long enough to examine, reasonably and completely, the situations in which he finds himself. He cannot be factual because he jumps at conclusions; because he is for this and against that.

Manly P. Hall

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Don't Believe Me!

I shedded a skin. The religion I inherited by birth clothed my personhood. I identified with it. My beliefs felt like “me”-one and the same. But I learned something from shedding those beliefs: namely, I can change my mind!

For so long I thought of myself as Catholic first. Tried to, even though gender, age, race/cultural background probably bested religion on the priority list at times. I said I am catholic. I am Catholic. Placing that with the name of God, I tried to make permanent the impermanent. However, if I identify with temporary constructs, I discovered, that use language to exist, then later transcend or reject them, it kind of feels like I lost my identity as a consequence. To clarify, I don’t find fault with Catholicism itself, just my own limiting belief system that framed it.

Emphatically believing that I had the super-right way of thinking on many matters I neglected to realize, as Manly P. Hall puts it that,

“The individual gets into trouble because he cannot be quiet long enough to examine, reasonably and completely, the situations in which he finds himself. He cannot be factual because he jumps at conclusions; because he is for this and against that”.

If I faced any difficulty I looked with a sense of distorted assuredness for an answer in the thinking pattern that got me into such a predicament in the first place. But I had to open to up to the fact that rightness wouldn’t have led me astray. Unnecessarily fierce belief stood steadfastly in the way of truth. Belief superseded faith or knowledge. Whatever I insistently believed growing up totally stymied my willingness to consider any conflicting points of view.  They seemed to challenge my survival. In reality though, opposing views only challenged a belief system that no longer served me. They offered an opportunity for a new perspective.

Growth from self-awareness, to borrow from Eckhart Tolle, “has nothing to do with what you believe. Moreover, what I believe might be wrong! Go figure. All of it makes up a sometimes painful learning process, which ultimately requires acceptance. It’s a path I’m still on of course. Thankfully, now I don’t feel so threatened when I break through a new layer of temporary skin.

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Present Problems as they say...

It’s 87 degrees and SUNNY in Philadelphia today. Welcome September. I think on a bright day like this I should be out somewhere having fun, at Made In America perhaps, but I’m not. I should at least be out getting some more color but why do that when I have no place to show it off? My efforts often feel futile: Looking for jobs, Moving from home, Going to college, Quitting college, Making friendships (Forget romantic relationships) and all the rest. Maybe it’s because I don’t have the life experience, maturity or proper tools to construct the house I want to live in right now. Reading Manly Hall gave me a little insight on that likelihood. (Thanks.)

I always hesitate to write these things for fear of sounding spoiled/ungrateful but what’re you going to do? I need an outlet of some sort. And maybe someone feeling the same will be comforted knowing she’s not alone. As I near the end of adolescence (who knows I might already be duh-duun-done) I take stock of my life. Quickly, I realize that I’m not where I want to be. What is more, I feel lacking in the skills/knowledge/ability that’ll get me there. So that’s the work as far as my limited experience can discern: to discipline myself into a more harmonious pattern of being.

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(From yesterday)

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I want to say, in all seriousness, that a great deal of harm is being done in the modern world by belief in the virtuousness of work, and that the road to happiness and prosperity lies in an organized diminution of work.

In Praise of Idleness, Bertrand Russell

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In honor of Labor Day, Let's talk Laziness

On Labor Day, I can't help but think about work. Too bad. If you suffer the same, maybe the following philosophers' counsel will give you some perspective. 

  An Apology for Idlers, Robert Louis Stevenson

Extreme busyness, whether at school or college, kirk or market, is a symptom of deficient vitality; and a faculty for idleness implies a catholic appetite and a strong sense of personal identity. There is a sort of dead-alive, hackneyed people about, who are scarcely conscious of living except in the exercise of some conventional occupation. Bring these fellows into the country, or set them aboard ship, and you will see how they pine for their desk or their study. They have no curiosity; they cannot give themselves over to random provocations; they do not take pleasure in the exercise of their faculties for its own sake; and unless Necessity lays about them with a stick, they will even stand still. It is no good speaking to such folk: they cannot be idle, their nature is not generous enough; and they pass those hours in a sort of coma, which are not dedicated to furious moiling in the gold-mill. When they do not require to go to the office, when they are not hungry and have no mind to drink, the whole breathing world is a blank to them. If they have to wait an hour or so for a train, they fall into a stupid trance with their eyes open

  Before he was breeched, he might have clambered on the boxes; when he was twenty, he would have stared at the girls; but now the pipe is smoked out, the snuff-box empty, and my gentleman sits bolt upright upon a bench, with lamentable eyes. This does not appeal to me as being Success in Life.

Why Are Beggars Despised?, George Orwell

It is worth saying something about the social position of beggars, for when one has consorted with them, and found that they are ordinary human beings, one cannot help being struck by the curious attitude that society takes towards them. People seem to feel that there is some essential difference between beggars and ordinary "working" men

  Then the question arises, Why are beggars despised?--for they are despised, universally. I believe it is for the simple reason that they fail to earn a decent living. In practice nobody cares whether work is useful or useless, productive or parasitic; the sole thing demanded is that it shall be profitable. In all the modern talk about energy, efficiency, social service and the rest of it, what meaning is there except "Get money, get it legally, and get a lot of it"? Money has become the grand test of virtue. By this test beggars fail, and for this they are despised. If one could earn even ten pounds a week at begging, it would become a respectable profession immediately.I want to say, in all seriousness, that a great deal of harm is being done in the modern world by belief in the virtuousness of work, and that the road to happiness and prosperity lies in an organized diminution of work.

  In Praise of Idleness, Bertrand Russell

First of all: what is work? Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relatively to other such matter; second, telling other people to do so. The first kind is unpleasant and ill paid; the second is pleasant and highly paid. The second kind is capable of indefinite extension: there are not only those who give orders, but those who give advice as to what orders should be given. Usually two opposite kinds of advice are given simultaneously by two organized bodies of men; this is called politics. The skill required for this kind of work is not knowledge of the subjects as to which advice is given, but knowledge of the art of persuasive speaking and writing, i.e. of advertising.

The Prophet, Khalil Gibran

You work that you may keep pace with the earth and the soul of the earth.

For to be idle is to become a stranger unto the seasons, and to step out of life's procession, that marches in majesty and proud submission towards the infinite.

When you work you are a flute through whose heart the whispering of the hours turns to music.

Which of you would be a reed, dumb and silent, when all else sings together in unison?

Always you have been told that work is a curse and a labor, a misfortune.

But I say to you that when you work you fulfil a part of earth's furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born,

And in keeping yourself with labor you are in truth loving life,

And to love life through labor is to be intimate with life's inmost secret.

But if you in your pain call birth an affliction and the support of the flesh a curse written upon your brow, then I answer that naught but the sweat of your brow shall wash away that which is written.

Work is love made visible.

And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.

For if you bake bread with indifference, you bake a bitter bread that feeds but half man's hunger.

And if you grudge the crushing of the grapes, your grudge distils a poison in the wine.

And if you sing though as angels, and love not the singing, you muffle man's ears to the voices of the day and the voices of the night.

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Few and mean as my gifts may be, I actually am, and do not need for my own assurance or the assurance of my fellows any secondary testimony.

Self Reliance, Ralph Waldo Emerson

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From "Self Reliance" by Emerson

I read the other day some verses written by an eminent painter which were original and not conventional. The soul always hears an admonition in such lines, let the subject be what it may. The sentiment they instill is of more value than any thought they may contain. To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, that is genius. Speak your latent conviction, and it shall be the universal sense; for the inmost in due time becomes the outmost, and our first thought is rendered back to us by the trumpets of the Last Judgment. Familiar as the voice of the mind is to each, the highest merit we ascribe to Moses, Plato, and Milton is, that they set at naught books and traditions, and spoke not what men but what they thought. A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. Great works of art have no more affecting lesson for us than this. They teach us to abide by our spontaneous impression with good-humored inflexibility then most when the whole cry of voices is on the other side. Else, to-morrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another.

Read more here!

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To Want Without Wanting-Say What!?

I feel like I remember someone or something admonish that to want without wanting, that’s the key. It confounded me at first then mostly left me alone until towards the end of his Bloodstream Sermon when Bodhidharma recalls the sutra’s guiding words, “to see without seeing, to hear without hearing”, then a few lines after, “‘Go beyond language. Go beyond thought.’” Thankfully, reading the rest of his sermons illuminated these cryptic expressions a bit.

First of all, in order to want we seek something we don’t already have. That’s the desire that leads to suffering. But in reality all we could ever want we already have. Look at a baby. What did he come here with? How could you want something that you already have?

Well, in addition, we see our dreams, memories and inventions of the imagination with our mind. We can visualize our future but none of this we do with our physical eyes. Furthermore, we can even hear our own thoughts but doing so doesn't require our physical ears. This is seeing without seeing and hearing without hearing as I interpret it. That’s why Bodhidharma says these actions, “are basically empty”, and, “You can search, but you won’t find a thing.” In the most literal sense hearing, seeing, et cetera will not enlighten you. What you seek lies within already so you don’t even have to perceive or desire it. I could go on, but this brief blog post will have to do.

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I Instagram, Therefore I Am

In our culture, we highly revere images, especially subconsciously the symbols they display. I could almost say worship as we obsessively post the visual play-by-play of even the most mundane affairs to various social media platforms, then compulsively, mindlessly inspect the latest picture posts of celebrities, friends and family.

I often get bombarded with questions when people discover I don’t use the Facebooks or Instagrams of the cyber world. What’s the deal? Mostly between the lines, I read a bewilderment at the fact that I don’t incessantly broadcast my image everywhere. The same one. The one with me posing next to my Starbuck’s grande choco-latta-monkey-atta. (Hint: I really hope your looking at my face and not this stupid, expensive, high-calorie drink.) But I don’t prize that type of expression so intensely.

Before this turns into a rambling mess though, I’ll invite Bodhidharma to help me out here. He says, “Your mind is basically empty. All appearances are illusions. Don’t hold on to appearances.” Moreover, appearances distract our attention towards impermanent things while truth seems to remain always elusive in the sphere of eternity.

Once we let go of the death grip on images, I think we’ll finally SEE more clearly; see the true, unaffected essence in all things. That’s what I seek at least. At times on my quest though, I feel blinded by all the pictures! Hey, I offer something to chew on the next time you move to upload the duck face and peace sign combo.

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Habibi's splendid images and enlightening use of calligraphy had me so hungover. Wonder what she's reading so leisurely by the fire.

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Learned It From Dreaming

   Dreams seem to differ from waking consciousness in that their material comes from within, from our own subconscious, where solutions to inner conflicts may rise to the forefront. Symbols appear that correspond to our waking experience in order to answer pressing questions, heal the psyche and vitalize the soul. But how different is this really from waking consciousness?

   Joseph Campbell discussing Eastern mythology writes in Myths of Light that, “all things bear the spark of the divine immanent within them, so that in our doings in life we bring forth the divinity.” The substance of life experiences, both eternal and temporal, whether they manifest in waking or dream consciousness fully embody the essence we do. Perception of waking experiences, therefore, responds to an inner impetus to contemplate ourselves and thus the Divine.

   Considering this view illuminates Edgar Allen Poe’s asking, “Is all that we see or seem/But a dream within a dream?” The seeming separation between ourselves and the world shatters from the realization that there exists no differentiation between ourselves and dream material, so it is in waking consciousness. Look around, “all that we see or seem” originates from the same source. Before presenting that query the speaker cries to God in a desperate attempt to hold onto sand, saving it from the ocean’s sweeping waves. His inability to find permanence there and hold on demonstrates the fleeting nature of the physical experience. You cannot hold on to it and that’s the point. You must transcend it instead.

   Perhaps the dream state offers an opportunity to more fully submit to reflection on that eternal, intrinsic nature of all existence. I used to forget my dreams a lot. Did I build a firm resistance to spiritual growth?

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She comprehended the perversity of life, that in the struggle lies the joy.

Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

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AUGUST 2013 Reading Suggestions

The Starter Kit

From left to right:

The Autobiography of Malcolm X

The Alchemist

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

The Prophet

The Sons

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The Read Supreme Starter Kit

THE STARTER KIT

I read. I like to read. It brings me joy. I want to share my joy with you. This month, I put together a portion of what comprises the foundation of my fascination with reading. If you're discovering these titles for the first time I hope reading them proves illuminating for your mind. On the contrary, if these are already old favorites I hope you’ll pass them on and share your thoughts so more can enjoy. Thank you and here are the books that started it all:

  The Autobiography of Malcolm X

Easily my favorite book, what inspired me most was his account of the personal transformation he experienced while incarcerated. Utilizing the prison library he managed to change his life trajectory through books. Not at all considering myself an avid reader before casually picking this one up, I got smacked with a revelatory insight reading this passage and I put it down radically changed. Somewhat shamefully, I realized how much I stood to lose from stubbornly avoiding mass groupings of written words while not even facing Malcolm’s considerable obstacles including poor literacy. I used to aimlessly troll libraries and bookstores, hungry for knowledge but unwilling to receive it. But I get it now because of the myriad ways reading has changed my life. As Maya Angelou put it more eloquently: “Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him.” This one did it for me. That’s why it heads the starter kit.

The Alchemist

A classic tale for all, especially for those discerning their calling and in pursuit of dreams (Aren’t we all to a certain extent?), The Alchemist unfolds a sagely universal parable through the particular experience of a young Andalusian shepherd. Overflowing with quotables like, “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” and “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity”, flipping to any random page will reveal a maximist’s playground. Read it for the deep cleansing breath it will allow into your heart. Paulo Coelho’s muse is divine.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Reading the story of Maya Angelou’s childhood may hurt at times as you witness a young person’s brave endeavor to navigate the world that descends upon her in rural Arkansas, then San Francisco among other destinations that deliver fast experiences chronicled richly with honesty and wisdom. To my point, her memoir donated a healing sweetness to the child in me.

The Prophet

Webster says a prophet is, “(noun) 1 leader regarded as divinely inspired 2 one who predicts”. Certainly, Kahlil Gibran captures the above and more in his protagonist. It has a place among scripture for me because the whole thing sings undeniably of sacred truth.

The Sons

Arthur S. Wensinger writes in the introduction, “Yet Kafka’s title The Sons defines his protagonists in terms of their families, as children still largely controlled by familial and social relations.” His subtle, wooden and possibly unintentional humor introduced a new perspective from which to contemplate my own relationships with family. Uncannily, I could draw a number of parallels from his experience to mine. It’s a primer for breaking free from the often befuddled grasp the closest relationships can have on you.

Happy Reading!