A Tale of Two Cupcakes

[greelin]

“you’ll feel better after a good night’s rest” do i look like someone who has had one of those in the last two decades

[goodnightngoth]

me: sorry i’ve been busy

me for the last hours:

[megamindsupremacy]

first rule of storing tupperware is have fun and be yourself. second suggestion is slam the cabinet door quickly and don’t worry ‘bout it.

[mockva]

Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught

[mexicain-sans-frontiers-v2]

[the-davest-of-uncles]

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[thememedaddy]

[kaijuerotica]

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

[r0ttingrl]

hey do you wanna come to the creek and look for frogs n pretty rocks with me?

[capybaralovers]

[poppin-pom]

A what…

[anthraxofeffervescence]

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

[marlynnofmany]

#the bracelet is also radioactive

[segamascott]

[charl0ttan]

your honor my client is guilty can i get another one

[hbmmaster]

how much does the aurora borealis weigh

[hbmmaster]

it's pretty light

[teathattast]

[kookyburrowing]

it is 1976. the United States is in economic crisis and the Muppet Show is on air. it is 2026. the United States is in economic crisis and the Muppet Show is on air.

[dogpuppy]