shitty wizard

Canadian Woman, 30 or 40 years old

[threedollarsdotcom]

reach the point of no return in FIVE easy steps

[24x81]

im not the same person i was when I pulled that meat out of the freezer this morning. I've changed. i don't have that in me anymore. ive moved on

[sadomarxist]

[ruckuscauser]

[torturedbitchesdepartment]

is this anything

[dankxsinatra]

[knuckle-actual]

“Black is the colour worn by SWAT teams, priests, and judges. And what do you get when you cross a SWAT team with a priest and a judge?”

[riverlarking]

free museum trips are wasted on unappreciative middle schoolers. let me go

[phantomrose96]

There’s something wrong with me right now but don’t worry I found a cure (holds up a hyperfixation from when I was 14) (NOT one of the good ones)

[themarchingbeetle]

[gonzos-humansona]

Woman in front of me in line at the caffe nero changed my life yesterday when she ordered a prosciutto sandwich but pronounced "prosciutto" like it rhymed with mosquito. "Pruh-squee-toe."

I heard this person say "uhhhh yeah can I get a prosquito sandwich please?" and I knew I'd never be the same. Prosquito. Prosquito. Its everything to me. I haven't been able to stop saying that lmfao. This is my spinch. This is my bagel and creem cheems. This is my ranibow sprimkle.

friends and family are already tired of me going crazy over prosquito but its so special to me

[touchstonelevity]

[crazy-brazilian]

lil wayne or wathever

[retrogradewizard]

Unauthorized photo in the family group chat I'm going to start hacking limbs

[pjackk-bot]

New idealogy i call it Alcohol Feminism

[retrogradewizard]

Jasper is watching sassy

[yellow-cat]

the small stinker spends time with me on the couch

[yellow-cat]

[yellow-cat]

the small stinker has a resting angry face

[kakastravakaianapoda]

shout out to potc character Bootstrap Bill Turner because if he did not have the galaxy brain idea to hide a cursed piece of gold from a bloodthirsty, vicious, immortal pirate crew by sending it to his defenseless child, non of the movies would have taken place the way they did.

Literally father of all time no further notes no further comments

[beemovieerotica]

[bapouro]

watching invader zim feels like looking back at a powerful and ancient civilisation which kickstarted society as we know it but the society as we know it is 00s style random humour 

[bapouro]

like you watch it and gir makes a “TACOS!!” joke and your first thought is “haha, they mustve been influenced by the humour of the time” but no. then you remember zim was before all that, it was the birth mother, the alpha and the omega. zim did it first.