Rhetorical Raven

idk man... I just really like bees.

[sandandglass]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[amanitacaplan]

[shingojira]

this exchange between me and my sister about animal crossing reads like two comrades bleeding out on the battlefield

[uglygirlstatus]

i literally cannot stop thinking about this post

[brucebocchi]

I have no clue why this is so god damn funny but i cannot stop fucking watching it

[shookie-cookie]

This is BONECHILLING

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

I’m in TEARS this is SO FUNNY LJDHFSDHFLSJDHFSDLJ

[themusician00]

[ginger-ale-official]

Drove my first riding lawn mower today! I’d love to say I also mowed my lawn but as it turns out, if you don’t lower the blade, you’re just driving circles around your house for two and a half hours for no reason! What a day!

[theweirdwideweb]

[byjove]

oh to be a plump little cat owned by a teenage girl during the turn of the century period, to have a little lace bow around my neck and nap by the fire....

[beepbeepbeepbeep-deactivated202]

[tatianakawkaw]

Teatime

[goawfma]

yooooooo wtf lmaooo

[dojacat]

[twilightisgaynow]

new high school classmate: so what’s your name

renesmee: renesmee

new classmate: that’s… interesting

renesmee: my mom was on crack when she named me

bella, sitting literally two seats away: 

[angelgone224-deactivated2021030]

Me holding back tears : let’s get this money

[lokidokeyartichoki]

I found a company called “Frantic Meerkat” who makes journals whose sole purpose is to call me out

[hellenhighwater]

This is by the Mincing Mockingbird guy (of “I’d sell you to satan for one corn chip” and “The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math” fame) and you can buy them here

https://www.mincingmockingbird.com/collections/frantic-meerkat

[averysaurus]

I….I need all of them

[witchofthesouls]

This speaks to me on a fucking spiritual level.

[pissvortex]

someones entire work uniform like the hat shirt and pants is just thrown on the ground in this parking lot

[pissvortex]

they QUIT quit

[gun-flame]

bro this isn't funny he despawned please delete this

[vintar]

i was at the zoo and just kind of vagueing out leaning on a rail and watching the duck pond and in the background a kid started yelling “he’s coming for you! he’s coming for you!!” and i thought it was some game she was playing with her family or something up until i felt a little hand grab my elbow and looked down to see this tiny wide-eyed child staring up at me with the world’s most serious expression and she said in a solemn voice

“he’s here for you”

and something reached out and grabbed my other hand

it turns out that a resident cockatoo has figured out that if it just waddles back and forth along the rail it can get the maximum amount of attention and headskritches with the minimum amount of flying and objectively this is very cute but at the same time this was very nearly the way that a grown adult died of a heart attack at the zoo

[vintar]

# wait wtf is that the bird from the adelaide zoo??? # I CAN’T BELIEVE THERE’S A POST ABOUT MY SWORN ENEMY # he literally chases after you if you ignore him fck that guy holyshti

lmao yep that’s the one!

i love bird tumblr so much, where else could you go “hey look at this bird” and have a complete stranger not only know where it lives, but declare that it’s their nemesis

[thehotgirlproject]

This is legit my favorite post