[pileofknives]

"I bet it doesn't hurt that bad, I don't have time for this shit."

[ampersandvich]

"at least one"

[sexhaver]

now this is a gender binary i can get behind

[carnival-phantasm]

Very generous of them to describe it as the "Thinking Period"

[retiredmahoushoujo]

They correctly excluded the outlier Electroshocks Georg

[studentlifeproblems]

[deviliciousdev]

this is the most accurate post

[crucibleknight]

I’ve seen posts lumping venom & the fish monster from shape of water together into the same category as pennywise and I must say it is…. Astounding to even imply they are all on the same level whatsoever like…. 

pennywise fuckers are the lowest of the low like… a monster that is ugly asf and just eats kids & minorities? hard pass. disgusting.

venom fuckers are a little better bc he’s got the whole tongue & teeth thing going for him but yr still gonna get eaten at the end of the day so? u know. unless ur into that

shape of water monster? the good gender neutral fish god? he’s the ONLY valid one out of the bunch you fuck him you get the package deal. get you a fish god that can kill for you, die for you, make you immortal so you can be together forever. get you a fish god with a sensitive side who will treat you R I G H T 

[revenorror]

I mean, if you wanna talk about ‘fuck, marry, kill’…

[crucibleknight]

this is the funniest possible response to this post it belongs to you now

[eric-coldfire]

110% wrong.

Venom doesn’t eat people for funsies, he only eats the brains of bad people, and he’s canonically good with kids

Secondly, the symbiote, once bonded will be 100% loyal to you and will fight to protect you. Feeling sick? Boom, white blood cell booster. Feel underdressed for a formal event? Boom, instant fancy suit. Bought a big ass box of Valentine’s Day chocolate and don’t have anyone to share it? Boom, symbiotes canonically love chocolate.

Venom/Symbiote is waaaaaay higher on the list than the Abe Sapien clone, but enjoy your home constantly smelling of fish, high water bills, and painstaking algae cleaning every couple of weeks I guess.

Seriously, how could you say “no” to this lil guy?

[crucibleknight]

these are all very good points! thank you for educating me on how badly i misranked venom !! fuckable AND friendly

[beholdthemem]

I love how nobody even bothered to try and defend Pennywise.

[crucibleknight]

unfortunately you have no idea how wrong you are i had clownfuckers in my inbox for three weeks

[someemochick]

[alexaloraetheris]

Jesus, I sent this to my friend who’s now in music school and he said:

“Nah. That’s just the entrance exam for the marching band.”

I now live in fear of his school’s marching band.

[naamahdarling]

Bard agility training looks awesome.

[hotvampireadjacent]

[funnelcloudd]

How come semi trucks in Europe look like “toot toot :)” and in North America they look like “HONK HOOOOOOOONK >:|”

[funnelcloudd]

“Henlo I am big twuck pwease give me wots of woom tank u :)”

“I WILL FUCKING PANCAKE YOUR CUCK ASS”

[spontaneousmusicalnumber]

@trainwreckgenerator why did you hide these in the tags

[digitaldiscipline]

This suggests that Maximum Overdrive was Jurassic Park for motor vehicles.

[cheesedemon]

I’m sorry, but that is misleading as hell. American and European trucks are bred for different purposes.

American trucks are bred for long hauls on largely straight roads. They can go for hours without a break. A European truck needs more breaks and a lighter load, and they would indeed take great internal damage if they tried to keep up with the Longsnout.

The European Shortsnout is not bred for looks, but for agility! They navigate the windy roads of Europe in a way that would be way too risky for the powerful, but more clumsy American truck. It is true that the European overheats faster at high speeds, that is the very reason that breaks every 4,5 hours are mandatory for both the truck and the handler and a day of driving can never be longer then 9 hours.

So, all in all, appreciate all of our trucks and our shared history, and be the responsible owner that gets the right breed for the right job.

[kedreeva]

To be fair, the US does have shortnose trucks as well, they’re just a breed kept mainly for very local work where, like the above says, they are working in places with lots of turns, shorter drives, and plenty of stops. I see them used for garbage pickup a lot, where a longnosed Mack wouldn’t be able to fit much less maneuver, and the short nose prevents them from getting rubs (raw skin or even open sores) on their snouts.

I would also like to point out that the tags have got it backwards. The wild trucks (which I’m pretty sure are extinct in the wild now) that all modern breeds stemmed from were shortnose trucks. We had known about automobiles and domesticated several species, but the truck species was not discovered until close to the start of the 1900’s, in Germany, which I BELIEVE was the first country to breed them in captivity, although England was the first country to really start using them for work. I managed to find a photo of taxidermied specimen

As you can see, it resembles both long and short nosed breeds, as well as the far more common house truck used by individuals instead of for commercial work.

As to the aggression, while the mack longnose LOOKS aggressive, they’re generally gentle giants (although please do give them space on the road! not seeing you in their blind spot is NOT the same as aggression!), it is actually the smaller house truck that is often trained by their handler to be aggressive: the keyword being TRAINED, they are also not naturally aggressive. The only time I have seen a mack be commonly aggressive is when they are pulling 2 gravel trailers, and I would be cranky if I was being overworked, too. If you see them hauling that kind of load, just give them space, and you’ll be fine.

[ub-sessed]

I feel like somebody should add something about the Australian variants.

[nudityandnerdery]

From my understanding of Australian wildlife:

[kuroii98]

[interstellar-space-cadet]

I’m every one in this

[closecaptionvevo]

MAN 1 (in a high pitched, whiny voice) Look what you’ve done to my peonies!

WOMAN (angrily) They’re marigolds!

MAN 2 God! I think she’s right! They are marigolds!

MAN 1 I may not know my flowers, but I know a (yells in her direction) bitch when I see one!

[kosciuszkovevo-deactivated20200]

It’s back!

[j-sillabub]

I looked this up because I had to know what it’s from. It’s a film called The Gay Deceivers (1969), and it’s about two straight men who, seeking to avoid the draft, claim to be gay, but then have to keep up the pretense when the army places them under surveillance.

The man in the red cardigan in the clip was played by Michael Greer, who was openly gay himself - unusual for the time. He actually worked closely with the director and rewrote much of the film’s dialogue to reduce the homophobia and make it more realistic. As a result it’s quite progressive for its time, having a gay character, played by a gay man, living in a happy same-sex relationship, which is more than a lot of media offers us today.

Plus the clip is delightful.

[wahbegan]

I just looked it up on wikipedia and fucking

The twist is that even after the pair is caught, they are not inducted into the military. The Army investigators assigned to watch them are themselves gay and are trying to keep straight people out of the Army.

EDFIAWFOWEFUHSFUIHOFIUHFOIFUHFOIUH

[cherryfrq]

i just saw a picture saying “dø or die” and it literally translates to die or die

[useless-swedenfacts]

#do u want to die in danish or english

[catsnuggler]

*Hamlet sweats nervously*

[marciabrady]

THE LITTLE MERMAID SERIES (1992-94)

[ruinedchildhood]

was this show even real

[spatscolombo-deactivated2022030]

How DARE Tolkien omit in the final draft the information that the traditional hobbit marriage custom is to have unspoken vibes for years and then disappear without explanation for an indeterminate length of time!?

[paintpencilink]

The Hobbit romcom potential though!

[teaboot]

Your weird rich relative goes on a honeymoon so you spread a rumor that he died so you could sell all his shit, but then he comes back and he isn't even married? What the fuck

[curlicuecal]

So when Frodo disappeared they definitely thought he married Sam

[gayanger74]

A trans man wears a dress. He is STILL a man.

A trans woman wears a suit. She is STILL a woman.

Nonbinary and genderqueer folk are wearing traditionally masculine and feminine clothing. They are STILL nonbinary and genderqueer.

Gender expression and gender identity are not the same thing.

[everythingfox]

What a strange duck pond

(via)

[sinnamonghoul]

Self care is going into a corn field at night to get abducted by aliens

[journalofalatinwriter-deactivat]

I GASPED

[humansoflatecapitalism]

[janeplease]

She is thirsty

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

elephant

[phantomrose96]

I love tumblr. I love that tumblr is the best social media site of 2021.

Every other site has spent the last decade perfecting the art of targeted ads. I am a wallet of flesh and blood which must be stripped bare and profiled and picked apart for the maximally efficient way to squeeze profit from my presence. Every other site will fold and morph itself to a shape of my liking - like a fairy tale trickster stealing memories and taking their mold - to lull me into compliance and loosen my coin purse.

Facebook sees me searching fitness equipment and injects my timeline with athletic wear ads. Reddit profiles the subreddits I follow and eagerly promotes a new coding bootcamp or cloud service at every turn. Google overhears me lamenting over my moving to-do list on voice call and fills in my “how much to tip movers” query before I’ve gotten the third word typed out.

Tumblr never even tried.

They could have. The information is there. The basic infrastructure, presumably, exists. Tumblr can recommend me tags based on tags I follow, blogs based on blogs I follow, even posts that for one reason or another may strike my fancy. Tumblr could be - SHOULD be - funneling this framework into advertising, as the only means that free-to-use social media platforms can turn a profit in our capitalistic hellscape.

They just don’t.

Today I saw an ad for treating Hyperhidrosis - a condition, I think, in which a person sweats too much - and I saw it twice, four posts apart, and it is so incredibly benignly impersonally ineptly untargeted toward me compared to all other pinpoint-aimed advertising that I’m endeared to it. Tumblr knows NOTHING about me. 8 years, 51,000 likes, and tumblr has not learned a THING about me.

Advertisements for a mattress? Shitty mobile game ads that don’t make even the slightest pretense at being anything other than a candy crush rip-off? Choose-your-own adventure games either about Royal Espionage or Choosing The Wrong Dress For Your Date with ZERO in-between.

And then this. This here. The culmination, the crown-jewel of tumblr’s nihilistic non-compliance with the state of social media advertising. Any pretense of capitalistic exchange is abandoned at the gas station by the side of the road. This is not a company. This is not a product. This is not anything that fulfills the contract of consumer and seller. 

THIS. THIS IS WHAT TUMBLR HAS TO OFFER INSTEAD.

“Pour vinegar on your bread, fuck you.”

“Put it in the garbage, fuck you.”

“Your wife says you’re a fucking dumbass, fuck you.”

That’s it. That’s the advertisement. You vinegar-breadless cuck. You virgin extraordinaire bereft of bread and garbage can. I am fucking your wife right now in our vinegar-soaked motel bed. She puffs a cigarette which I pulled from the trashcan and we both laugh heartily at her recounts of your immasculine ineptitude. I don’t want your money. I don’t want anything from you. Fuck you. 

Amazing. Amazing. What a state of things to ring in 2021. What a great platform we all collectively choose to be on.