달라달라

trc's sugar fairy JEON SOMI

[maerinah]

[lostsugaway]

[kp-o-p-blog]

when she was given tons of homework

[rkseokwoo-blog]

— the ‘after-practice’ lollipop

[rksomi]

rkseokwoo·:

There’s a flickered glance when Somi agrees with him, smiling at her faintly. At least she understood, some people might have thought he was being childish. “I don’t want my sweets confiscated or to be scolded,” he utters in reply, crinkling his nose at the memories from high school that he had. One in ten times, Seokwoo had watched a teacher pluck his favourite sweets from his hand when he was supposed to be studying and asked him if he thought it was lunch time. “They put everyone on diets and those things, it might be bad,” Seokwoo adds, shaking his head.

If Seokwoo could have chosen the type of younger sister he would have wanted, he would have easily picked someone like Somi. Her cute bouncing as she waited for the sweets he had in his hands, and how quickly she agreed, diving her hand in to pick out one. Even her reaction when she finally placed the lollipop into her mouth came with its own endearing qualities to him. Seokwoo’s energy gauge refilled by her actions and expressiveness, grinning to himself as he glanced into the bag himself and picked one of the treats for himself. Somi was different from his sister, or maybe, his sister had simply matured past this phase where everything was exciting and delightful. Now she would have hissed that he was breaking the rules and she didn’t want sugar ruining her figure.

The packet of lollipops were tucked under his arm, tugging at the wrapper of his own sweet and placing it into his mouth. A smile taking over his lips, higher in the left corner as he hears Somi speak up and he looks over at her. Wrapper shoved into his pocket, before the stick was plucked from his mouth and he furrows his brow. “Do I? How so? Who?” Seokwoo questions, curious over whether this was a good connection or a bad one. Although he assumed it was more a positive memory than a negative one, as Somi seemed to smiling, as if she were pleased with whoever came to her mind. “Is it someone famous?” was his first assumption of who it could be, as that, generally where people leaned with these types of statements. Recognisable faces and lookalikes.

somi knows it's bad to stare, even worse to not respond right away. and yet that's what she does. her fingers twirl the candy around her mouth, small smile still clinging onto her lips as he began to ask. she nods her head, humming, "yup~" still a little distracted with the lollipop's flavor spreading more. "this is really good," she lets out with a giggle, taking it out and looking at the candy. "where do you get this?" the young girl looks at the older boy with a smile, shaking her head a bit having realized right away that there was another question. "not yet, but she will be." she finally replies, popping the candy back into her mouth as she smiled sheepishly at seokwoo. "i know she will be~"

she made a mental note to go find sowon soon, maybe hang out with her when they aren't practicing for the evaluation peformance. she always enjoyed spending time with sowon, her words and her presence alone were reassuring to somi. and there's always some sort of advise the young girl finds weaved in sowon's words. it has helped so much in the last few months since the project. and perhaps the part she liked the most, sowon doesn't make her feel dumb or crazy. even if she can be 'too much' most of the time, sowon never thought of her like that. in fact, somi felt like she's... normal when they're together, even when her unnie was graceful and soft-spoken and she is anything but.

"do you know sowon unnie?" the young girl asks, feeling the candy somewhat smaller in size than it was earlier. her brows furrow lightly, bottom lip jutting out a bit. "she's from trc too..." she continues mindlessly, taking out the lollipop and looking at it. "oh no," she mumbles as she looks at the lollipop, now, indeed, smaller in size. somi looks back at seokwoo, then the lollipop as if showing him of the unfortunate scene. but somi reminded herself that asking for one more would be too much, so she sighs and smiles instead. "sowon unnie is very talented and very sweet. and very pretty~ do you know her?"

[rksomi]

wedding bells

[rksomi]

rkdongmin·:

he can’t help but laugh at her words, the promise of helping him confess. it makes sense, of course, considering that the younger was the reason why he had ended up in this situation to begin with. he never would have really thought of yoojung in that light, if they hadn’t been forced on that blind date together, and ended up having more fun than he had ever thought was possible on a blind date. though, he knows it’s probably because it was with someone who he already knew, and was comfortable with.someone who he had spent a lot of time telling bits of his problems to late at night, hidden in their usual coffee shop. 

but he could never have thought that he would’ve ended up here. discussing this crush that he had gained from said blind date – and he’s not even mad about it. perhaps he never would’ve ended up seeing yoojung in the same light had it not been for that date, and they probably would’ve only stayed as friends or something. and now there were feelings involved – his. just his own feelings, as he would never in his wildest dreams imagine that she would ever like him back. 

perhaps it was wishful thinking, but somi’s words do encourage him a bit. it gives him a little bit of hope, because she knows yoojung well too. perhaps it wasn’t as one-sided as he thought …? but he wasn’t going to dwell on that, shaking his head. “if i ever confess, not when,” dongmin corrects her wording with a small smile, though he can’t stop himself from looking pleased that she thought they would be a good couple. only in his wildest dreams, maybe. “if i ever plan to do it, i’ll let you know. unless it’s a spur of the moment sort of thing but … you know. i’ll try my best,” he laughs a little, shrugging. 

the more dongmin resisted, the more somi was determined to help. "what do you mean 'if'?" she repeats his words, brows knit and lips pouting after. she looks into his eyes, leaning forward and almost squinting before her features melt into a small smile, then letting out giggle as she straightened up. "it's 'when' you confess, oppa~" she insisted. she was teasing him a little of course, but also feeling every bit of determination coursing through her system. now that she thought about it, if there was anyone she wanted to see yoojung with, it was dongmin. it was just a thought that came to her, but now that it does look like they had a chance, she will help however way she can.

i'll try my best. the young girl believed her friend, she recognized those words and that look well. the turmoil of emotions when one is unsure of how the other feels. the anxiety of not knowing if they feel the same way... and the hope that perhaps they do and everything could work out better than how they imagined. yoojung and dongmin have a chance, those were the only words that somi kept in mind as she observed dongmin more. she could see it, how that blind date must have changed how he felt about yoojung all this time. it was something he didn't expect, but somi could tell he does like her. maybe even a lot more than he thinks. she thinks it's beautiful that the two of them had found each other.

"i'm really going to help you, i promise," she continues, starting to think of ways of how to really help this thing progress positively for both her friends. "i'll try to find out how yoojung unnie feels about all this~" somi says, tapping her chin, thinking of how she could go ask the older discreetly about dongmin. "but like if i told you... that would spoil it if you decide to confess... but if i don't tell you, that wouldn't be good either..." now it was starting to become confusing, and almost overwhelming. her hands cover her face, palms pressing over her cheeks as she pulled them down. "shipping in real life is hard."

[rkpcy]

* brain food ,

[rksomi]

rkpcy·:

the laugh starts out small, barely a chuckle at all, until it bursts past his lips in a loud guffaw that would probably scare someone who were unaware and walking by. “yes, a seedling,” he says with another snicker, now imagining tree-somi as a little baby groot, still in her potted plot but still lively and dancing all the same. “don’t worry, i’ll remember to water you every day so you can grow into a nice giant oak tree.” he pauses, realizing may be a reliable and gallant tree, but it’s not exactly the prettiest, but the harder he tries to think, the more he realizes he doesn’t really know the names of very many trees or any of their properties. “or any tree you want to be. reach for the stars~”

he feels slightly bad that she seems to wholeheartedly believe in his bold-faced lie, but apparently not bad enough that he makes any move to correct it. “yes, absolutely. i could totally win at one of those cooking shows, like chopped or master chef or something,” he answers, only adding flame to the fire. he thinks that maybe with a bit of training and more focus in that area, he might have been able to become one, but his focus has always been on music, and cooking more of a hobby passed down from his mom and grandmother. “and don’t worry about tiger jk,” he says, completely full of shit now; he would never do anything to anger or put himself in a bad light in the ceo’s eyes. “we’ll just operate in the shadows. a black market for amazing food~”

the scolding comes as a surprise to him. he hasn’t met someone in a long time who objected to cursing, and he can’t help the laughter that settles into him as he slowly recovers. it’s endearing. “sounds like a plan to me, cap,” he responds cheekily, unsure if she’ll even get the reference but he’s unable to keep himself from making it.

her imagination starts to wander off again, a smile still on her lips as she thought of herself like small plant creature compared to the others, sort of like guardians of the galaxy's baby groot. they weren't much different, now that she thought about it, they both like dancing and listening to music, and of course, their very modest vocabulary with his 'i am groot' response to everything and her very limited knowledge of korean -- which she's hidden rather well. "like baby groot~" she replies, giggling and moving her arms in a wave, mimicking baby groot's dance moves at that scene with drax. "except i say 'i am somi and i wouldn't frantically run around the halls--" she stops, blinking, brows knitting as she laughs, "you know what, i think that would be me too if i was late."

somi listens and nods her head, amazement painted across her features, mouthing a quiet 'wow'. the young girl wouldn't be surprised if there were more multitalented trainees in the company, after all, it was something 'out of the box' that trc would probably do, scout trainees with unique talent and those who would stand out from the crowd. hearing the reassurance makes her feel at ease, not entirely about the topic, but because chanyeol seemed really fun to talk to. and as soon as he says 'black market for amazing food', it makes somi chuckle. she quickly rolls her lips inward and taps her lips lightly before she looks around, "shhh... he could be listening right now, we have to be quiet about the operations." she adds, playing along.

thankfully, chanyeol is indeed understanding, and he made references that somi and her dad often made themselves. "that's a good one," she comments with a smile, "my dad and i like the mcu a lot," she says proudly, "maybe too much, but... yeah. we like guardians of the galaxy, the soundtrack is great, and we like the humor." she continues, "which one do you like, sunbae?"

[rksomi]

♔ AUGUST 2019 EVALUATION eval song: SUGA SWEET by FAKY (line distrib) performance with @rkiny & @rkyerim

even before their performance, it was clear that somi was enjoying herself, already quietly humming the melody of their song as they got into position. it was the perfect song in her opinion -- and it was because it talked of her favorite things in the world, sweets, but mainly because she was starting to feel confident singing performing on stage alongside other people again. it had been a while since she had felt excited about a group performance. not that she didn't have her share of fun with the people she performed with in the previous months, but now feels much different. somi was less critical of herself, didn't draw a circle to stay in, and didn't box herself to be... careful.

both yerim and nayeon were talented, and somi especially paid attention when they helped her for the performance. this time around, she didn't just let it be a one-way stream. she made sure to ask about alternatives so she could retain pieces of herself in how she performs -- the way she sings or the way she dances. at the end of the day, everyone will teach her their own right way of doing things, but she will always be jeon somi. every artist that she looked up to are unique, they had their own quirks and they didn't care. it was one of the things why music has helped her cope and heal from all the hurt that she had experienced growing up. there was a sense of comfort that even if she is different, she didn't have to be alone.

the fact that they had chosen a song that was a mix of english and japanese helped a great deal. somi was most comfortable speaking in english after all and japanese was next. although she was not fluent, she finds it that, compared to korean and mandarin, the pronunciations were somewhat easier. (that and because they were singing about candies, and she had the excuse to bring sweets with her every chance she got kept her in a good mood). so when she was assigned mostly japanese parts, she really didn't mind. as they rehearsed, nayeon was the first to sing, then yerim, and finally, it was somi's turn. she used to be scared of singing... being told that her voice 'isn’t really that great' had interfered with many decisions when it came to her performances for evaluation, even the way she saw herself.

she is probably never going to be given a better vocalist position, so while her friends and group mates believed in the little vocal skills she had, she might as well enjoy herself and improve in the process. she didn't even want to be a vocalist at all, somi knew she was no singer. she wanted to dance... and lately, she's been obsessed with rapping too -- and if being a professional candy taster is a thing, she'd gladly moonlight for that. yet when her part came, the young girl didn't sing just to get it over with, nor did she sing just to make sure she does her part like she had always done in the past. somi sang her parts because she wanted to be heard, not just by those who evaluated them, but she wanted to hear herself singing... fearlessly. so she did.

although the choreography for their song seemed like it was going to be easy, somi remembers yoojung's lessons again -- how even something that looks effortless takes even more effort than normal. but in the last few months, while she feels like she's falling short of everything, her dancing was a different story. somi had always made an effort to make time for dancing. outside trc, with the hours she could spend going out or playing with her friends, she spent it either studying or attending dance classes, even keeping up with her monthly dance video project. it was something she vowed herself to finish whatever happens. and if she's able to consistently do that, she can certainly keep up with having this positive outlook despite all the setbacks.

somi glances over nayeon and yerim during her parts, smiling and moving along their fun song. there were times she finds herself mouthing along the lyrics during the other girls's parts while she danced. seeing the satisfaction in her unnies faces, she knew that they had done a great job. it was a perfect performance even. "maybe we should get to debut together, huh?" yerim's words makes the younger girl smile, but also makes her heart hurt a little, she remembered wanting to debut with the girls of k.arma. she almost did, but there's a reason for everything. and she was coming into terms that there's so much more to learn. "maybe we should~" she replies with a giggle. even if it still stings, at least she can talk about it now.

[rkkmn]

( ♡ ) bedtime stories

[rksomi]

rkkmn·:

how can kids so young be so judgmental? they should learn to have a little more fun instead of being mindless puppets of their parents. one day it would all come out though. she knew for a fact. but from her own experience but from people around her. her parents were never strict with her and her brother, but there was an explanation to that. they knew just how fragile a life could be. that the two little ones they had brought to the world could be gone just as fast as they came. that’s why they let them live, let them breathe, let them be who they wanted to be. which turned out to be a failure for mina since she still doesn’t know what she wishes to do with her life. she just goes with the flow and wings it. so far, it has worked out perfectly.

for a split second she wonders if somi is going to chicken out, but instead, she gets surprised by her sudden challenge. “yah! this is cheating!” she exclaims as she tosses the candies in her bag and quickly runs after the girl, almost tripping on her way out. she bows to the kids more as an automatism than actual apology. naturally, she’s the last one out. mina pushes her lips out in a pout. her expressions would make anybody wonder who really is the youngest out of the two. “fine, i lost. you pick what we eat but be prepared for my revenge!”

somi could already hear her parents saying 'we know' once she tells them that she didn't get to finish the whole thing. she never felt bad whenever her parents tell her that, or when their 'i told you so's' end up being true. her parents were always kind and patient with her, not once did they make her feel bad for falling behind or making mistakes. in korea, their way of parenting was not exactly... ideal, not even well-liked. it didn't sit well with other parents that her parents were the way they are. other students said they envied somi, while others say they're just careless... it makes the young girl roll her eyes as she succesfully steps out of the room. she looks back at mina, sticking out her tongue and then smirking as she wiggles her brows at her friend.

but her expression softens and immediately, she clings onto mina, "no~ no~ no revenge!" she whines before letting ou a quiet laugh, arms around mina's shoulders and her head resting on it. "i was just kidding, we can both decide what we eat, silly!" she adds, straightening up and linking her arms with mina. she takes a quick look at her phone to check the time, smiling when she saw that they had plenty to spare. "we just have to back here in three or four hours because my dad is picking me up," somi explains. "i don't want him to think i didn't finish the thing... i'll save the heartbreaking news when we get home." she adds, snickering as she shakes her head. "i'm feeling a little adventurous today, maybe sannakji?"

[rkyerim]

♡┊SUGA SWEET

[rksomi]

rkiny·:

rkyerim·:

“yeah, just some things to keep our energy up,” yerim says after being almost scrunched in a surprisingly winding hug from somi. she’d not really talked to somi since the mga’s but she remembers her face, remembers being not so friendly to her. however, since then, she likes to think she’s changed and being in somi’s presence was almost refreshing because she’s so positive and by the looks of it, forgiving. yerim smiles at her softly and sighs a little as she looks to nayeon who’s talking about cookies. 

yerim stretches again and yawns, pushing her hair from her face before she decides to just put it up and get it out of the way. “should we start on learning the lyrics? or would it better to start working on the choreography?” she pulls out line the distribution with japanese pronunciation and translations, handing them to her eval partners. “nayeon got a lot of english parts, so we’ll have to work on that but thankfully, there’s two native english speakers here with you,” she says with an encouraging smile. “somi, how are you with confidence in singing?”

     it’s amusing, seeing how the younger two interact— a sort of seemingly endless ocean of energy from somi, contrasting well with yerims determined ( but inviting ) professionalism. two attitudes on opposite ends of the spectrum, but ones nayeon felt pleasantly balanced working within. she could only hope that, as the oldest of the three, they felt just as stable with her as she felt with them. accepting the line distributions held out towards her, a grateful smile on her lips, she lets her eyes scan over the paper in thought.

     “hmmm…i feel like learning the lyrics and getting pronunciations down first might be better, no? we want to make sure they can understand us,” she raises an eyebrow with a gentle laugh, nodding her head slowly as she peers up towards them both from where she’d been glancing down at her paper. maybe she was saying that for her own sake, not wanting to butcher her english lines and embarrass herself. “oh, i’m glad— having you two to help me is a relief, i’m in good hands.”

somi had never properly thanked yerim for helping her during the mgas audition. if it wasn't for her advise that day, somi would have thought she was doing just fine. thank the heavens for choi yerim! and now, here's an opportunity to do return the favor. the young girl was going to do her very best to give her best-est for the performance to make sure that she doesn't embarrass yerim and nayeon. "definitely have to learn the lyrics," somi nods her head, looking from yerim to nayeon. over the months, she figured it wasn't just enough to not be a burden in a group, she had to contribute too.

for the first time in a while, having moved around countless of times growing up had it's advantages. somi had been exposed to several handful of languages enough to feel comfortable to speak them -- not exactly converse fluently, but she, at least, was confident that she had pronunciations down, and japanese is one of the top three she feels she could do well. she smiles at nayeon, agreeing with what yerim spoke. and then the question was thrown her way and her smile wavers for a bit, "i... yes, i think i'm more confident with my singing now." she's not 100% confident yet, but practice, practice, and more practice always helped her. “my singing is probably not as good as both of yours but... but i promise to work hard and to practice!” somi adds, straightening up and letting her lips pull into a more confident smile.

[rksomi]

moonlight & memories

[rksomi]

rksowon·:

jinsoulrk·:

jinsoul reaches over and takes another gummy worm, tying it into a knot and biting it off as some sort of habit and chewing thoughtfully as she listens to her friends talk. it’s crazy to think that she actually has friends here, because when she came to trc she was almost certain that it would be difficult to connect with people that she wasn’t already close to before, and it was ten times more difficult when some of her closest friends debuted in k.arma. but here she is, sitting with somi and sowon and thinking that maybe this isn’t so bad.

“what? why are you guys being like that?” she had said the boy thing mostly as a joke, because they’re not allowed to date anyways but when both of them hesitate like that she can’t help but to think there’s something up. jinsoul looks back and forth from one girl to the other, feeling like there’s something that only she missed out on. “is there something? is there a secret? why are you guys quiet? do you like someone?” the questions come out all at once, but only because now she’s curious.

her eyes open wide when somi brings out the popcorn maker, clapping her hands together and staring at it. “you actually brought one? and it’s bedazzled too?” leave it to somi to think of everything, because some popcorn seems perfect right now. but still, she can’t forget what she was saying before, and she peels her eyes away from the popcorn machine and to the others. “wait but about the boys….”

in sowon’s mind, she contemplates over whether now would be the ideal time to tell the truth. even though she could have brushed it as a joke earlier, a part of her felt that if she did, she would be deceiving the two of them a lie that they would eventually have to know. if they were going to debut together, honesty was key and sowon wanted to be an example of that. but being honest also meant having trust on them and while that wasn’t the problem, it was actually whether anyone else would hear them.

her thoughts are distracted momentarily when somi reveals the popcorn maker that she had kept inside her bag. sowon’s eyes widen as she quickly realizes that the bedazzled popcorn maker somi happened to describe was really the one she had. “wow, who would have known that you would really have one inside your bag…” sowon says softly, still amazed at the popcorn maker in front of her along with the bag of kernel. at the mention of board games, sowon takes her bag and unzips it to get a few boxes and bags that she had hidden amidst the first aid kit and clothes. “i brought uno, jenga, and pictionary. i thought those would be games that anyone can play.” she explains as she stares at the three games she had brought with her.

turning her head to jinsoul, sowon responds, “we can still talk about boys but we would have to be quiet. we don’t want any of those boys to overhear us.” she laughs, although she is certain that the boys were probably busy doing something else instead. looking back at her games and the popcorn maker, she then thought of a clever idea, “actually, what if we play jenga as we wait for the popcorn? for every time we pull out a piece successfully, the other two can ask the person a question about anything.”

"of course! during trips, you can rely on me to bring the essentials..." somi trails off before ripping the pack of kernels open. "for fun trips!" she giggles before picking up the bedazzled popcorn maker and looking at it with an endearing smile. "and it's shiny~ i like shiny things~" the young girl adds before setting it back down. honestly, somi had long come into terms that she brings that most random things during trips. and yet, most of the time, these random things she brings make the experience more fun for everyone -- that's what somi wants after all whenever she packs all the stuff despite the weird looks she gets.

there was only one person she can think about at the mention of the word 'boys', jung jaewon. the late night walks home, the text messages, and his smile. somi doesn't even realize that she's smiling until she she realized what it was sowon was suggesting. "wait, what?" she lets out quietly, confused as she looked at the other girls. "a question about... anything?" she was usually fearless when it came to the honest game. ennik somi douma was an open book, there was nothing to hide after all. but now, there is. she was scared that other people would know about how she felt for jaewon. it would another round of 'i told you so's' and 'somi, no's', she was sure of it.

but she can't say no now, can she? that would make it more obvious. shooting the idea down would mean she had something to hide -- well, she does! still... sowon and jinsoul are trustworthy, they'd be supportive like doyeon and yoojung. they wouldn't think she's going crazy over some boy... again now, would they? she looks at both girls before smiling, finally making up her mind to just go with the flow. she wouldn't be able to lie even if she wanted to. jeon somi is bad telling a lie... and keeping secrets. "let's do it, unnie!"

[rksomi]

girls just want to have fun

[rksomi]

rksowon·:

jinsoulrk·:

she smiles, holding up her stationery when her friend compliments her on it. “it’s cute, right? i got it from a store near me and i thought it might be useful.” it turned out to be one of her best purchases, especially because she feels the need to plan things out and write things down. she thinks it calms her, even if just a little bit because she doesn’t know if she’s the type of person who can truly be calm anyways.

“well there’s nothing wrong with camping made easy…” she looks up from her list at the two other girls before going back down again. “i think it’s nice. aren’t there like, bears and things that can get you at night? maybe it’s best if we don’t sleep in tents…” since it’s her first camping experience she feels like it might be good for her to ease into it. first some easy camping, maybe with cabins and bathrooms and things like that, and then maybe next time she’ll feel a little braver and do something closer to real camping. but for now she can’t help the sigh of relief that she lets out.

she pauses in her thinking, mouth opening into an ‘o’ shape as she looks at the other girls. “you don’t think they’ll make us do something like running man again, do you? i think i lost a few years of my life doing that. or what if we get there and it’s actually some kind of boot camp so we can raise our stamina. or what if…” jinsoul trails off, shaking her head because she knows that the more she thinks the more negative outcomes she’ll think of, and that’s definitely not a good way to start a trip. “right! we’ll be there together so it’ll be okay. it’ll be fun no matter what, right?”

feeling the bump from somi causes her to chuckle in amusement as she smiles. “of course. i wanted to make sure we got the essentials.” she gives a brief response as she thinks about all of the possible activities that the staff would make us do. “if there are other things that could harm us during the night, i presume that there must be someone around to supervise?” sowon tries to imagine all of the trainees by themselves and without any of the coaches nearby, she can expect it to end either really well or badly. “luckily it’s glamping so like somi said, it’s sort of cheating in a way because we probably will have access to items that could prevent that from happening…or items that could protect us. if we were solely camping, we would have to rely on each other for everything.” she reasons, hoping that would give reassurance even if at the back of her mind, she reminds herself that maybe she needed to bring a survival guide.

at the mention of the running man game, sowon immediately recalled how the game had affected all of the trainees. she had watched the show before and took note of how that game could bring out everyone’s competitive side. seeing it in action was different though for she felt that she had to use her strengths as her way of surviving. “i wouldn’t be surprised if they did something like that to us but at the same time, i feel as if they knew what happened to us during the running man game and didn’t want to give us another surprise shortly afterwards.” she chuckles softly as she tried to think from the coaches’ perspectives.

“if anything, i imagine that they would make this month relaxing for us. next month is when they decide to give us something challenging as a reminder that we can’t slack too much.” glancing at the two of them, she thinks about how much they have gone through since joining trc. sowon nods her head in agreement while saying, “as long as we’re here together, we will get through it. we have gone through so much as trainees so we can handle anything that they throw at us during the trip.”

somi finds jinsoul very soft and adorable, finding herself getting a little distracted with her smile as she nods her head in response, giggling. she did have her preference when it came to camping, finding herself more drawn to the kind that she had grown up to, the real kind -- as her dad had pointed out earlier today, but she couldn't bring herself to insist on it. hearing jinsoul's worries about 'bears and things that can get you at night' made her find the other girl more endearing. there's really just something about jinsoul that makes somi want to take care of her and hold her hand, like in kindergarten when two kids become bestfriends, that kind of feeling.

"that's true," somi adds as sowon explained in detail what they might find at the site. "i'm sure we'll have access to most of the things that you're not supposed to on a regular camping trip." she adds with a giggle, wrinkling her nose as she taps lightly on her lips for throwing another 'shade' for this trip they were going to take. "and besides, if there are things that can get us in the night, i'll save you, jinsoul~" she continues, linking her arms with the other girl and giving her a reassuring smile. "and sowon unnie too, of course!" she quickly adds looking over to the older girl.

despite getting distracted here and there with the shops they were passing by, somi tries to listen closely to sowon as she spoke. it does make sense, and if anything, she hopes that this trip would be relaxing rather an a surprise boot camp that jinsoul mentioned. just the thought of it was already wearing her out... but remembering that jinsoul and sowon would be there makes it less stressful. she smiles as her mind starts to craft activities that they could do there and all the fun that they were going to have. "does trc normally go on trips though, unnie? like... not for training, but just to have fun and relax and play?"

[yujinrk]

— sweetness;

[rksomi]

yujinrk·:

yujin can’t help the grin that spreads across her lips at the sight of somi’s enthusiasm. she herself would’ve been the same if not for the copious amounts of the dessert she’s already had yesterday and earlier today. watching the older girl eat is almost as satisfying, anyway—a learned skill in her stage of life. 

“i’m glad you like it,” she giggles, a teasing tone in her voice. “you owe me now, since you liked it so much,” it’s a joke, but she keeps a business-like quirk to her eyebrow as she pulls out her phone, pretending to take note. she notices the time on her lockscreen while poking about on it, though, and notes that it’s almost time for practice, anyway. man, time flies when you have literally no free time. 

“i hope that happens for me soon,” she sighs, setting her phone back down. “i can’t keep feeling this tired or i’ll die in the long run,” she’s already regretting having to wake up this early in the morning everyday after strenuous exercise, let alone having to keep up with school on top of everything trainee-wise. is this supposed to be this hard? or is she just really bad at time management? “i mean, same here but…i don’t know,” yujin ends up resting her forehead on the table with a small thud. “i’m losing it a little—but it’s fine,” she laughs at somi’s self-roast. “i don’t even know what you could say in this situation.”

somi was slowly coming down from sugary heaven when she hears yujin say that something that sounded like she owed her. she looks over the other girl, blinking as though confused, brows furrowing a bit. the young girl realized that it was a joke, and her features soften before she breaks into a giggle, deciding to play along as she nods her head, "i owe you big time for this one!" she tells her before noticing yujin looking at her phone. it makes somi look at hers too, unsure why, out of habit she supposed.

she hums, still eating, while yujin spoke, keeping her eyes as she watched and thought of herself after the initial excitement has faded. her first few weeks were great and full of energy, but the weeks that followed were hard. maybe because she went straight into a debut project, or maybe it was how things really were. nonetheless, she enjoyed most of her time there, underneath all the tears and stress, somi can confidently say she had a blast. it's good that yujin was more kind (and very understanding).

"i'm still lost, if i'm going to be completely honest..." somi laughs, embarrassed as she scrunches her nose and then heaving a sigh. it has been a while, and even if she feels like she has made progress, she's not sure if she can confidently say she knows what she's doing. it was like she's walking around blindfolded, and while that makes for a fun game during sleepovers, as a trainee, it isn't so fun. "but all the trainees are really nice, and i'm sure they'd be more than happy to help you with anything."

[rksomi]

no hard feelings

[rksomi]

yutark·:

This wasn’t what he expected from Somi, seeing her come back with a snarky retort and rolling her eyes, hearing her giggle at his actions in the heat of the moment. It stung his ego to think that he was losing his touch, becoming weaker as time went on and would soon be unable to protect himself from whatever was coming. Being angry and making people leave let him control the situation, control when and how it happened; control the reasons why. Any timidness, any uncertainty, any hesitation, would let it become something that he was unable to control, and he might have got hurt in ways that he was unprepared for. Yuta had a fondness for physical pain, the type he could prod and poke, scabs he could pick at and bruises he could watch fade in colour – but emotional pain was stressful, scarring him in places he could nudge and couldn’t study with fascination at how much he could handle. 

“Don’t laugh, Somi. If you think I’m fu… If you think this is funny, then you don’t know me at all. If I wanted to hurt you, I could. Easily. Without hesitation,” he threatens, despite the truth being far from that. He was hesitating, he was finding it difficult. Still, he knew if push came to shove, he would do anything to protect himself. Selfishness, survival, whatever people wanted to call it. Yuta knew his was stronger than most and he’d already proven more than once, when it came down to it – he’d put himself first and drink away the guilt. Or try to. “Don’t take me lightly, just because I say nice shit sometimes. After everything, I can take more than you can take. I’ll be fine, you won’t,” Yuta mutters, shaking his head at the thought of what had happened before she arrived in TRC. 

If he could handle that punishment, if he could handle his parents, if he could handle high school, nothing that happened in the future was going to break him. “I’ve been doing this longer than you have, so don’t mess with me,” he adds, voice evening out, losing the hint of agitation and coming more from a place of concern; something he’d deny until his end. The internal conflict was ever-present for Yuta. He knew what he could do, it benefited him, but he hated how it made him feel from time to time. Warnings eased that. If he warned Somi, and she continued, then it was on her. That helped, even just a little bit.

Yuta huffed out a breath when she passed him, his head turning to follow her and then snapping back to look at where she’d stood before when she started to speak up. There’s a weird hope in his chest, waiting for her to tell him to not worry about it, to leave her alone then, that she didn’t need him. He was pushing her, he wanted to feel her push back. Instead, she seems to speak, quieten, and then say something else. He’d seen this happen more than once, had this happen to him more than once. Yuta didn’t know what people thought in those few seconds – did they think they could save him? Did they think he was worth saving? Did they think they were going to be the ones to do it? Fix him, mend him, make him something better. “You think I would let you go up there and make a fool of me?” He questions back, taking a breath before he looks at her for the first time in a while. It was’t that he didn’t value himself, it was that he knew one thing. “And if you think I’m going to change. I won’t. People don’t change Somi. If we’re assholes, we stay assholes. Nothing you do is going to change what I am.”

“You know that, right?”

somi didn't know what exactly it was that yuta wanted her to do. i wasn't like she was hoping things would change after this, she wasn't anyone special, not anyone with a pocketful of wisdom like her dad who always knew the right words to say. she was just... ennik, somi. just that. and these days, that doesn't really count for anything really she stops from her steps at his words. 'i know that.' the words immediately came to mind, a small, sad smile pulls on her lips as her gaze falls, confidence wearing off as she lingered in the sharp, cold sting that brushed over her chest. "i know..." she lets out, loud enough for herself only to hear and quiet enough for yuta not to get the satisfaction that he was right.

"you. you. you..." somi finally says out loud, sighing as she turned around. "make a fool you? not going to change what you are... always about you..." the talk was not going at the direction she had intended, somi figured she had opened a door and stepped into a room filled with things she was not prepared to deal with. but it's too late to walk out now, isn't it? when the claws of whatever issues yuta was dealing with was wrapped around her arms and pulling her deeper and deeper into the dark. "if you want to stay an... excuse the word, asshole... then stay that way. i'm not going to feel bad about it. maybe i will, for a bit, but you know..." her thoughts were going off course again, but she shakes her head a bit and resumes, "change doesn't happen without choice. if you can't change, that's not because i can't make you, but because you chose not to. i'm not going to let you make me feel bad for... trying to help the only way i can."

this is not how she imagined this talk to go, she was hoping that they'd argue a bit, then tease each other and then go back to dancing. "what happened that you've become so... rigid about these things?" rigid was definitely not the word, hurt was the first word that came to mind, but her dad told her that people don't like it when you point that out. "and you're probably right, i shouldn't be messing with you. you've been doing this longer than i have, but you sure aren't acting like it, oppa." she was out of line, rude even to say those words to him, but there are just times when she forgets she should be nice... she is a kid after all, she can play that card. after everything, i can take more than you can take. i’ll be fine, you won’t.... she scoffs and shakes her head again, taking a few steps more only to come to a stop. "and i've dealt with... people who are much worse than you are. kids can be more vicious than you think. and i was fine," she tells him with a smile and shrug. "so like i said, get all of your bad guy stuff off your chest, and practice with me. so i don't make a fool of you..."

[rkyerim]

♡┊SUGA SWEET

[rksomi]

rkiny·:

rkyerim·:

an eval starter for @rkiny· and @rksomi· !

stretching in the practice room, yerim finds herself surrounded by faces she hasn’t seen in awhile but it feels nice to reach outside her company for a moment and experience trainees that are running on different schedules and with different skills. this eval seems not simple, but challenging in a way that makes sense for yerim. thankfully they’ve all agreed on japanese, which should sound nice while they sing, even if they’re not fluent. 

“i brought you guys some things!” yerim says handing nayeon and somi both pretty brown paper bags with vitamin drinks, protein bars, and a few gift cards to nike. “these should ensure we do well,” yerim says giving them both a smile. “i also brought a lot of water so we keep hydrated. we should do well, right? i’m confident we balance each other well at least.”  

     the moment nayeon had learned of the details for this months evaluations, she’d immediately found excitement beginning to grow, the prospect of being able to work with trainees outside of kt only strengthening that feeling. for as much as she’d grown to love all those she’d met these last few months, she couldn’t deny she missed friends who not only still went about their normal daily lives, but friends who were also signed to companies themselves. so, with an opportunity given, nayeon was more than happy to get to work with yerim ( she was also happy to meet somi, a sweet girl she already wanted to give endless hugs to ).

     quickly tying her hair back, she takes the bag outstretched to her with a large smile, gratitude in her gaze. “ah, thank you! we’ll definitely be needing these to stay energized, so it’s good you brought them,” she says, taking a peek inside looking back up, her smile wider. leaning in to whisper comically, she almost laughs. “don’t tell anyone, but for extra motivation, i may have also brought in some cookies for once we finish up later.” finally laughing, she moves to place the her bag off to the side, then turns back to the other two. “i think we can do this really well! we’ve got more than enough time to make this perfect, i’m excited.”

the camping trip was obviously something they needed. well, she did for sure, but most of them looked like they could use some fresh air too. somi wasn't sure if it was just her, but the atmosphere was much lighter the days after and the young girl was turning a new leaf by being having a more positive outlook when it came to performing with other people. it was in her favor that they had agreed on what to perform for the evaluation too.

yerim was someone she had befriended during the mgas. although they didn't get to stay in touch, somi greeted her with excitement (and a hug just a little too tight). her eyes light up at the mention of 'some things' and the sight of a pretty brown paper bag being handed over to her. yerim was not wendy or chungha, and they were a lot closer in age so there has to be not so healthy treats in this ba-- "thank you, yerim~ these are great!" she smiles, still grateful for the welcome gifts they got, speechless at the nike gift cards.

nayeon was equally pleasant, she was really pretty (even more so up close) and somi could tell that she was talented. and if anything, she reminded her of chungha and wendy, so this 'extra motivation' was probably sunflower seeds or something healthy to help with their sta-- "cookies?" somi turns to nayeon, clutching the brown bag close to her chest with a smile. "i think we'll do well too! we have you and yerim, unnie!"

[rksomi]

dance # 7 | confident

912,208 views                                          👍  29,138   👎   27   ↱ SHARE   ☰   ... SSOM09                                                  SUBSCRIBE Published on July 31, 2019 who run the world? GIRLS! it's an all girls class at the dance studio. got a little busy again this month so had to do a solo. might upload travel vlogs and food crawls from old trips in the next few weeks~ but for now, here's this month's video. big props to our instructors for this routine 💛 SHOW MORE

the month flew by really quickly, and it was almost time to go back to school. not that studying ever stopped for somi, she actually had to do some things to catch up with everything that she’s missed and even do tutorial classes so she could keep up. she didn’t mind the extra reading, extra essays, and extra studying in general, she had gotten used to her schedule in trc that she’s found her rhythm when it came to training and staying on top of her studies. she just hopes that this school year would not be as hectic -- but that’s probably hoping for the best because college is right around the corner. her parents weren’t putting any pressure on her when it came to going to university, but they said they do want her to get a degree and she made a promise that she will. some of their seniors from hanlim said that college was tough but also fun, they were mostly vague about their experiences, but they said it’s not the same for everyone. and while somi was all for the adventure, she just hopes that her brain could handle all the studying that’s needed for the csat, heck for her to even pass senior year.

there are many things that had been stressing her out these days, other than her college woes, there’s still this thing with jaewon that she wants sorted out. she had been pushing it aside for a while now, convincing herself that she had to make amends with yuta before even thinking about her feelings for jaewon. and now, she’s already made amends with yuta… there’s no other excuse to dwell on. she didn’t think too much into it, she’s learned the hard way never to make assumptions about someone’s kindness. in fact, she shouldn’t be stressed about her relationship with jaewon, right? there is no relationship after all. there’s nothing to sort out because jung jaewon is just being friendly. that’s all there is to it. it’s not like she likes him or anything, or thought about him every day, or that his texts made her smile and giggle more than usual. not at all. jeon somi didn’t think about jung jaewon like that. he’s just one of her friend. the one she thinks about when she hears a funny joke hoping he laughs too… the one she looked forward to seeing at the end of the day when he walks her home… the last person she talks to before she goes to bed. jung jaewon is just a... friend.

“are you pretending to be frustrated so i’d edit that video for you?” she turns the swivel chair towards the door and narrows her tired eyes at her dad, leaning against the door frame with a cup of ice cream at hand. “go away, daddy douma… but leave that pretty please and thank you.” she tells him, pointing at the cup. her father laughs and soon her frown melts into a pout as she watches him set the cup down on her desk, ruffling her hair and then giving her a kiss on the forehead. “why so serious, baby douma?” he lets out, pinching her cheeks before making his way to the door. “dad?” somi calls out, making him stop and look back with a hum. “do you think i’m… pretty? like... not just fun or interesting… but like pretty girl pretty?” she asks hesitantly. her dad always said the right words to make her feel better, and even with the intention of making her feel better, he was always honest and sincere. “you’re the prettiest girl in the world, ennik,” he tells her, smiling that soft smile he always had reserved for her. the young girl nods, a small smile on her lips as she takes the cup and focuses on the screen. “remember you’re not allowed to date until you’re thirty, ennik.” her dad says before closing the door, but not without somi protesting with a “ew, i’m not dating anyone…” that made him laugh.

“I don’t think he likes me like that anyway…” she whispers to herself, eating a mouthful of chocolate ice cream, focusing on editing this month’s video.

it wasn’t that somi didn’t like herself. sometimes, she thinks she looks okay and had some talents that are interesting -- sort of -- but most of the time she wishes that she was like the other girls. she wished she was as pretty as jinsoul and sowon, or as charismatic as doyeon and joy, perhaps even as strong & confident as chungha and yeeun, or even as talented as wendy, yoojung, and sejeong. they were the kind of girls boys liked, weren’t they? the kind of girls that makes boys take a second look and make them blush. they were the kind of girls her male friends talk to her about, and the kind of girl she isn’t. but maybe she could grow up to be like them? she could still become like them, she’s still growing after all. “probably not…” she sighs, waiting for the file to finish rendering, browsing through her phone and looking at jaewon’s pictures. “you like those kinds of girls too, don’t you oppa?” she mumbles, pouting as she browsed through one picture right after another before stomping her feet and whining quietly.

the video finishes rendering and somi gets on her feet, dancing along the video, and stopping as she claps her hand excitedly at how well she was dancing in the video. this routine probably has the most freestyle, and she had picked up so much from her dance lessons at trc to do it well here. she hadn’t been this excited about her video since that first video with jaewon… “stop. thinking. about. him.” she whines again, hiding her face in her hands as she sits down on the floor. somi crawls her way back to her study table, climbing onto the chair and sluggishly turning to face her screen. “why does he always smile like that?” she leans back, head hanging backwards as she looked at the ceiling. “why is he like that?” she closes her eyes and throws punches in the air, almost falling back but leaning forward to save herself. somi takes deep breaths as she uploaded the video, waiting for the bar to reach one hundred percent. she picks up her phone again and looks at the older boy’s picture, “please don’t smile like that...”.

somi was sure her unnies wouldn’t approve of this behavior, she could already hear chungha and doyeon telling her this isn’t right. this has happened before… with yuta and that turned out to be a big misunderstanding. she set herself up for heartbreak by assuming all the nice things he did were because he liked her and it turns out he didn’t. ‘this is just like that, ennik.’ she reminded herself, sighing as she played the video again. “you did a good job… you’ve been dancing so well, jeon somi!” she lets out in singsong, trying to cheer herself up. “who cares if jaewon oppa doesn’t like you… you’re great. you’re amazing...”

but she wished he liked her too.

[rksomi]

dance # 6 | 7 rings

901,389 views                                          👍  26,949   👎   31   ↱ SHARE   ☰   ... SSOM09                                                  SUBSCRIBE Published on June 30, 2019 can you believe it's already june? 😲 i'm so excited to share this video with everyone! most of you seem to like me doing collabs so for this month, i did some dancing with one of my favorite people in the world 💙 my lovely cousin came to korea recently and we just had to do this together~ here's our take on this awesome routine from dance class. SHOW MORE

june has been a fun month for somi. she didn’t feel as pressured as she usually does with practicing for her videos -- even at trc, every day felt like a good day. she spent most of her days paying attention, focusing her energy on practicing and learning, not just at the company but even at school. just two weeks ago, her dad came into her room, feeling her forehead to check if she was sick because he says his daughter never does schoolwork that late. it happened a few more times after that, even with her mom, but it didn’t feel like doubt but more of confusion mixed with amazement that ennik somi douma need not have to be negotiated with so she’d do her summer homework after training. there were no extra dance classes they’d pay for, no extra allowance or cherry twizzlers at the next grocery visit for her to sit down and work on essays or math problems. there wasn’t even a morning intrusion from her dad to nag her about the schoolwork she needed to submit to her tutor. everything was attended to, even the workbooks for hakwon were read and highlighted.

it wasn’t just at home that somi was being, for the first time in a very, very long time, productive. at trc. she paid attention in training, kept counting and nodded her head when suggestions are being made. the young girl is present, at every class -- with occasional distractions here and there, but somi has never been more focused as a trainee than now. she got compliments and ‘good jobs’, even some ‘see? you do a great job when you focus, somi~’ she’d smile shyly and bow before she makes her exit and skipped to the next one. sure, there were some roadblocks with training, moments when she finds herself lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling, wondering what the heck it was she was doing. those days were unavoidable she supposed, and she remembered sowon telling her something about not knowing the answers to everything right away but later on they make sense. it helped her calm down, or at least, calm enough to think of something that would help.

the dance class for her monthly project went great, and since one of her favorite cousins was coming to korea for a vacation, somi asked her to do it with her. (unlike her) megan had been taking cheerleading seriously, even when they were always playing and goofing around, her cousin had always made time for it. she’d cry about hurting her ankle, or missing practice when they had family over, but she would go to the makeshift dance studio in their garage and practice by herself, doing flips and dancing. somi often watched, sitting at the corner, hugging her knees as she looked at up at megan smiling brightly and having the time of her life as she did cartwheels and shook her pom poms. no one was forcing her to do it, megan just really liked it. back then, somi didn’t understand why megan was like that, why she’d rather dance in the garage by herself instead of playing with their cousins. only years and years later, when somi and her parents were watching megan and their high school cheerleading team on espn did she understand why. it was one of the things she thought about before signing up for the mgas.

unlike the previous videos, she edited and uploaded this month’s as soon as they got home not only because megan was excited to see the video but also because she had so much fun doing it with her. somi was always critical of herself when it came to dance, and often compared herself to the people she was dancing with. but dancing that day, and all the other times before this month, she only ever saw herself doing a good job and having a great time with one of her favorite people in the world. they play the uploaded video in the living room, with their parents and megan sitting close to her, their arms locked as they giddily pressed play.

it was clear from the start that somi and megan had different styles. while megan danced effortlessly and fluidly, hers was a little more precise with the attempts to be as effortless. she was still speechless of her cousin’s talent, and there was that feeling of wanting to dance the way she does too. but somi didn’t scrutinize herself as much as usually does, she still pointed out steps she could have done better but a smile came next and the clear words ‘we’ll do it better next time’ and ‘we’ll keep that in mind for next time’ followed after. she took quick glances around the room and could see how proud their parents were (and of course, the horror on her dad’s face for the workout clothes that megan gifted her). it made her giggle, ready to make a comment when she turns to megan. but her heart swells when she sees the expression on her face, the compliments that megan whispered with her light nudges, “you look so happy there, see? how do you move like that hm? you’re such an amazing dancer, ennik… wish i could dance like that too.” she didn’t think she will hear those words from someone she admired. especially not from megan who already dances so well.

somi knew what was coming next, she’d only felt like this a few times and before those tears spill, she smiles and look over to the screen. the young girl watched as she danced, mouthing the lyrics to the song, smirking before a bigger smile breaks on her face. as much as she wanted to be able to dance and move like megan did, she actually grew fond and proud of the way she danced differently at every single video. she knew she could do better, and maybe improve her facial expressions. that’s what’s important, right? that she acknowledges she did well but can improve?

[yejirk-deactivated20230625]

frozen

[rksomi]

jinsoulrk·:

so she isn’t kim yuna yet, and that much is made abundantly clear by the way she teeters over the ice, just one misstep away from a complete disaster in the ice rink, which wouldn’t be so bad if it was just the pain of falling, but coupled with the embarrassment and humiliation she would have to go through she would most likely rather not have that happen. but even though she might not be going to the olympics any time soon, she thinks there’s something to say about trying in the first place. anyone who knows jinsoul knows that she’s never been the first to try new things, but if there’s anyone to experience new things with, she’s glad she’s with somi.

“you’re right, maybe skating around the rink first before i try out for any championships.” she laughs in spite of herself, because even she could see some kind of humor in this. “maybe after i get the basics down.” jinsoul nods in agreement, because she’s always thought that there had to be a solid foundation before all else. it’s the same with singing — before trying to add in emotions and fancy vocal tricks there were fundamental techniques that had to be mastered. she figures it’s the same with everything, even skating.

she nods slowly, “yeah, my mom didn’t like for me to do things that might injure me.” it’s a sentiment that is somewhat common among parents, but most parents didn’t like it because they didn’t want their kids to get hurt, jinsoul’s mother was mostly scared that a bruise on her face or a sprained ankle would mean it would be more difficult for her to book jobs. but she hardly feels any sort of negative way about it, not when it’s been such a normal part of her life up until now. jinsoul pushes these thoughts out of her mind and looks at her friend with a warm smile. “afterwards, let’s go get something to drink. like hot chocolate? it’s cold today.”

her thoughts to get overwhelming, just thinking about 'what ifs' and 'could have beens' were making her feel a little lightheaded. looking at jinsoul now, she wonders what would have happened if she kept going, with all those ballet lessons, skating, maybe even gymnastics, maybe she'd have better chances at this trainee thing. she might not even feel like she needs to constantly be on her toes during practice becaue she feels and knows that she's not good enough. if she had kept going before, maybe she wouldn't feel less of a performer when she's next to everyone in the practice room.

but hearing jinsoul's response, perhaps everythin really did happen for reason. her parents let her do everything that her heart desired, when she got hurt and fell down, they helped her up and taught her never to let fear take control. she was sure jinsoul's mom was doing it all with the best intentions, and if she had not stopped or prevented jinsoul from doing things that injured her, she wouldn't be the jung jinsoul that she is now. perhaps these were hopeful thoughts, but it was better to dwell on the positive side of it all -- they were here to have fun and forget about the stress from training.

"of course, we're getting hot chocolate!" somi tells her friend with a giggle and smile. "ice skating and hot chocolate are a must~" she continues, turning and skating backwards, hands holding onto jinsoul's as she pulls her along. "let's have a little bit of fun, okay?" she skates a little faster, hands tight on her friend's. "they say sometimes you have to learn to run before you can walk~" somi wasn't sure where she heard that to be honest, or if it was one of those weird words of wisdom she got from her dreams. "isn't this fun, jinsoul?"