hiyaa! iâm niki :) your favorite passerby writer~! she / her
đž my works! ⊠now playing ⊠| intj ; scorpio! ; twentyyyy
requests are open, but please understand if i donât get to them as quickly! iâll only write what iâm comfortable with writing :) i write using she / her prns, but just indicate if youâd prefer a gender neutral work!
this blog is sfw! i donât write smut or suggestive content !! iâm a slow writer and often times have writerâs block, so if i disappear randomly thatâs probably why ⊠oops
i mainly write for nct dream and bts, as they are my ults. but i may write for other groups and fandoms such as haikyuu or anime in general, genshin impact, maze runner or harry potter in the future! all tw/cws are placed at the very top of all my worksâif i forget and/or exclude something please feel free to tell me in the comments or thru dms!
in which park jisung loved snow ducks, but he loved you more.
a/n: merry christmas to those who celebrate! iâm back after almost a year (LOL) to drop this jack frost!jisung au thatâs been rotting in my drafts ever since heâd dyed his hair for glimo T_T
warning/s: f!reader x jisung, mild profanity (like one or two), not proofread, fluff & angst if you squint, jisung and reader are CLUELESS, insinuations of a rough past, jisung as jack frost (because this is a warning in and of itself)
jisung couldnât have imagined getting used to a life where no one knew his name. a life where everyone seemed to walk right through his body even when he was standing directly in front of them, his dark blue jacket hanging loosely on his bodyâbare feet feeling numb despite the cold concrete beneath them.
alas, he didnât really have a choice. waking up to the man in the moon telling him that he was special? thatâs what thrusted him into his new lifestyle.
âjack frost?â the curious tone of a short brown haired girl tore his attention away from his dwindling thoughtsâshe was staring cluelessly up at her father, who watched her from the familyâs porch.
jisung huffs, a small smirk already pulling at his lips. heâs heard this conversation a thousand times, but he was always curious as to how each parent would spin the story and he in-turn was pleasantly surprised at the amount of different takes each parent would tell their kids.
the man clears his throat before repeating the same old folklore the people of the city had made up about the white haired boy, yet with a new-found twist. âif you stay outside too long, jack frost will come and freeze you up!â
this makes the teenage boy chuckle, his staff hanging freely on his fingertips. sure, he can cause a blizzard with just the touch of them thanks to the man in the moon, but even he wouldnât do that to a little girl. though, his sharp eyes watches her gasp before she rushes up from her spot in front of their house, the snow beneath her feet crackles as she giggles into her dads arms.
jisung doesnât know what makes his heart freeze, the lonely feeling he gets from the heartwarming family gestureâor the snowstorm he seems to be brewing over the city of pennsylvania.
â
âyou were out again?â
jisung sighs. he didnât want to be sitting through another one of the tooth fairyâs lectures and with this one being his third of the week, he could probably recite her lecture off the top of his head.
her wings were fluttering rapidly as her cheeks tinted pink with how frustrated she was with him. âyou didnât throw snowballs at a childâs head again did you?â
a laugh almost bubbles from his lips. almost.
âthat was one time! and they had fun didnât they?â the boy grins as he twirls the small snowflakes around in the air above his fingers. he watches as she relaxes a tiny bit, her wings still making the slight fluttering noise heâs learned to drown out. the green fairy sighs, tired from having to say the same thing over and over again to the michievous boy standing in front of her with absolutely no care in the world.
âdonât let north find out, okay? heâll rip your head right off.â she ends her lecture short with a small murmur, which catches jisung off guard. her bright smile flashes at him before sheâs whisked away by one of her many fairies.
being a guardian wasnât always easy, he was a teenage boy for godâs sake and having to deal with everything a boy his age does on top of having to be a ârole modelâ for millions of kids out in the worldâmeant finding time for him to just be himself, the teenage jisung park, was a scarce opportunity. he knew the tooth fairy only meant well, they all did, even the easter bunny. but he felt like they didnât understand. they didnât know about the grip his past had on him, a past that he isnât even fully aware about yet. they didnât know that sometimes all he yearns for are answers to who he really is.
but despite all this, he picks up his staff with his gaze trailing over the hundreds of elves scattered across the north pole.
and the white haired boy is goneâwith only a small snowflake left in his place.
â
over the years, jisungâs learned to ignore the ache in his chest that longs to search for the answers to the questions swirling in his head. instead, he enjoys walking in the silence of the nightâthe glow from sandmanâs magic lights his path as he prods at the floor beneath him.
he welcomes the cold, the one thing that has brought him comfort over these last few years. watching the ice create beautiful shapes on the pavement strangely relaxes him as he hums a soft song he doesnât remember, though his heart seems to recognize the familiar tune.
âgreat job, sandy.â jisung whispers into the dead of the night, watching proudly as the yellow sand sifts into each house he passes by.
the boy lifts himself into the air with little to no effort. he lets a chuckle slip past his lips as his fingers feel through the sandmanâs âdream trailâ as he likes to call it. jisung has always admired him, his power to soothe children and provide them with heart warming dreams to keep their sleep from being distrupted.
on nights like this, cold and lonely ones, he misses his home deeply. he knows it sounds ridiculous, to miss a home he doesnât even remember, but he dreams that he had a family. one that would snuggle under one blanket on nights like this oneâone that would wake each other up on christmas day because north or âsantaâ had decided to pay them a visit.
heâs snapped out of his daydream though when he spots you sitting in front of your house. jisungâs never been one to keep track of time, but judging off the dream trail, he was pretty sure that it was late enough for no one to be out. you seemed to be busying yourself with something in the snow, so he takes this as his sign to drop down from the wires heâd been standing on previously.
âducks?â heâs confused when he sees enough ducks made of snow sitting in a straight line, all of them nearly identical to each other.
his curious mind pushes him to wander towards your hunched figure, but something in him makes him cautiousâalmost like approaching you was a mistake.
jisung chooses to ignore the unfamiliar feeling, his feet making no marks in the snow as he squats next to you, his staff standing tall next to both of your figures.
his eyes linger on your face, the top of your head was covered in a black beanie with a pom pom sitting at the top. you were clad in your pajamas and a jacketâan outfit that kind of matched hisâyour cheeks and nose were both stained pink from the cold, but your eyes shimmered in happiness as you continued to make another duck.
âyou kind of look like a ryan to me..?â heâs startled by the warmth in your voice, followed by the soft giggles that left your lips.
he could tell you were his age, something he oddly never encounters. heâs used to seeing toddlers running and playing around in the snow, so the weird feeling of familiarity settles in his chest as you put down the duck-making-contraption to blow some warmth into your hands.
you donât seem to notice him, not like he expected you to, but itâs when you whisper something into the cold air that has him rooted to his place on the ground.
âi hope you still like ducks, âsung. i made too many for you to not like them anymore! happy birthday, wherever you are.â
and you disappear back into your house after picking up your contraption.
â
âhow would she even know who i am?! i sure as hell donât know who she is!â jisung was close to ripping the frosty white hair off his head and his feet were burning the solid floor of the north pole from the amount of pacing heâs been doing since he had gotten there an hour before all the elves had woken up and gotten to work.
northâs jaw ticks as he sighs for what felt like the millionth time that morning. âfor the last time, jack, she probably means someone else! itâs not like youâre the only âjisungâ in the world.â
the rest of the guardians bob their heads in aggreement, soft murmurs of their own comments all mesh into oneâbut jisung decides against them all. he felt a physical pull towards you, the shape of your face, the way you spoke and the way your eyes shone in the moonlight⊠all those things felt so familiar, but he was driving himself crazy as to why it all felt the way it did.
âiâm telling you. she knows who i am!â
he was frustrated. the feeling of familiarity in his chest was addicting and so very comforting. he wanted to know who you wereâhow you knew himâwell, he was so sure that he was the ââsungâ you were talking about.
his heart was racing so loudly that it was pumping in his ears. the questions that were screaming at him made his head spin. it wasnât like the helplessness he felt when he couldnât remember his past. this⊠this was worldâs apart from that.
despite it all, jisungâs pacing seems to slow to a stop before his eyes narrow into slits. the silence of a certain green fairy was enough for his mind to swirl with a couple thousand more questions.
his gaze hardens like the ice heâs able to create with his fingertips, âyou know something.â
the phrase comes out bitter and demanding. something the younger boy has never used especially around any of the guardians. he watches as the fairyâs eyes dart to everything in the room except him, explanations spilling from her mouth.
âno i donât! who said i did? was it one of my own? because thereâs absolutely noooo way i know anything! nothing! nada! zerââ
the tooth fairy bites her lip as she watches jisungâs grip tighten on the wooden staff.
âpark,â northâs voice is low, the warning clear in his tone. he loves jisung like he would love his own son if he had one, but he would not and will not tolerate him hurting any of the other guardians.
not like he could ever do that.
âyouâre going to tell me what you know right now.â the frustration is evident in his voice. he was tired of being left in the darkâforced to fend for himself when thatâs all heâs been doing for so long. too long.
the fairy fiddles with her fingers, her wings flapping at an even faster rate behind her. âi-i donât know much. butâi have your teeth. f-from when you were just jisung park.â
the world seems to slow to a stop. jisungâs read about it happening in some books he found in the nooks and crannies of the north pole, but he hadnât expected it to feel like it did.
he knew what that meant. she had once told him that all the teeth she had collected from each kid held a memory from their lives. the collection of memories all locked in the gold tube he used to gaze at with so much curiosity, the memories unlocked by one touch of his finger.
the silence was suffocating himâand suddenly he couldnât breathe.
âjisung. you have to calm down.â
the worried gaze of the easter bunny somewhat helps him, though his rapid breaths were starting to be difficult on his lungs. hearing how something so crucial to figuring out his past, to figuring out who he is, was kept from him by someone heâs kept so close for the past few years seemed to be crushing him.
ây-you⊠you had the answers to my questions all this time⊠and you didnât⊠you didnât tell me?â heartbreak drips from his tone. all those nights he spent trying to shut out the loud thoughts in his headâall of which couldâve been solved if the tooth fairy had just told him what she just did.
âwe wanted you to embrace who you are now, jack. youâre a guardian now, it doesnât matter what happened in the pastââ
âthatâs not for you to decide!â his rough shout startles everyone in the room, even some of the elves. his eyes sting from the unshed tears heâs determined to keep from rolling down his cheeks.
âit wasnât your right to take that from me. those are my memories, my past, my life!â jisungâs breathing hard now. the intensity of how painful this secret was overbearing. and the fact that everyone knew? not just the tooth fairy? thatâs what hurt him most.
he scoffs, the grip on his staff tightening as he lifts his hood up above his head.
âi canât believe any of you.â he ignores the way they all scramble after him, pleading for him to calm downâhe needed to be somewhere else, anywhere else but in a room full of people who just shattered his already bruised heart.
â
you couldnât stand the cold. you prefer to be out on a sunny and warm day than to play in the snow while simultaneously freezing to death.
so why were you standing out in the cold?
you wished you could say that you didnât know. that somehow, the cold just brought you some source of comfort and that you couldnât pinpoint the exact reason as to why. but you did know. you know that youâre out here because of a certain boy and how he always loved the snow. how he knew how to handle himself on ice, even when it was freezing and his teeth were chattering.
ây/n? come back inside, dear. itâs freezing!â the voice of your mother pulls you from your everlasting thoughts of the boy you loved, as it almost always did.
you turn to look at her and you see the pity in her eyes. you know she can tell whenever you start to get out of sorts over your best friend who went missing four years ago now. sheâs seen the ducks left out, just like you do for every birthday thatâs passed without him.
âiâll be in in a minute, mom.â you smile, a genuine one, soaking in the cold for a little bit more when you hear your front door gently closing after a soft reply from your mom.
you hadnât known what happened to your best friend, and he never got the justice you felt he deserved. but him disappearing without a trace seemed to scream ârunaway!â to the police, so his case was dropped, much to yours and your familyâs devastation. you still remember the day you found out he disappeared like it was yesterday.
âwhereâs this boy at?â your irritated sigh is acxompanied with a white puff from your mouth, the cold atmosphere made your breath visible as your teeth chattered and your fingers trembled.
despite it all, you were there. waiting in front of the fountain of your town like you always do when winter starts.
âhello! this is jisung, i donât seem to have heard your call orâshit y/n cut that out! sorry uh⊠leave your message at the beep, okay bye!â
âdamn it.â the frustration was settling in, your eyes gazing at the digital numbers taunting you on your phone. itâs almost been an hour since you were supposed to meet jisung hereâeither he had forgotten your plans, or he simply liked to torture you because he knew how much you hated the coldâand if it was the latter, you were certain youâd kill him.
your phone rings in your hands and you hurriedly pick up, expecting to hear your best friends deep voice scrambling with apologies.
âjisuââ
ââŠhoney? where are you? mrs. park just called to say that jisungâs gone missingâŠâ
your life hasnât been the same ever since. you never heard a peep from the boyâand even after a whole year of you texting his number, someone else eventually answered, regretfully telling you that they werenât jisung, but an older lady named kira.
which was a weird experience, but your parents were glad that you had finally let go of texting your missing best friend. they knew you would take the news the hardest. you were head over heels for this boy, and seeing as how you both were attached at the hipâthey were worried for how youâd cope.
and theyâve settled that you making ducks out of snow once a year seems to be the perfect way to cope for you.
âthis is stupid,â you mutter, more to yourself than anyone in particular. you gaze at the perfectly lined up ducks. eighteen of them.
thatâs how old jisung wouldâve turned that year.
when your fingers start to feel numb, the cold air seeming to get even colder, you decide that maybe itâs time to head back inside. you glance one more time over at the eighteen ducks sitting neatly at the front of your porch. a small flicker in you hopes that one day, they somehow bring jisung home.
â
he didnât know what he was doing here. after all that happened in the north pole, he just let the wind take him anywhere. his mind was too busy to figure out where heâd stay before returning back to the north pole when everything was sorted out in his mind and heart.
and thatâs how he finds himself standing next to you. his hood is up and his tight grip on his staff causes you to let out a small shiver.
he can tell youâre feeling somber, your eyes werenât as happy as they were when he first saw you and your gaze seemed to linger at nothing in particular.
he watches as you purse your lips before slowly heading back inside. jisung didnât know who you were, but being next to you warmed his freezing heart with a sense of familiarity he hasnât felt in so long.
âeighteenâŠâ his soft mumble is heard by no one, he had counted the ducks you had lined up by your house.
he wonders why you had decided to make that many, but a small smile tugs at his lips when he uses his magic to create a small pile of snow around the ducks, forming a small fence around all of them.
jisungâs torn from his thoughts when he hears soft chatter coming from the inside of your house, his curiosity getting the better of him while he stands to steal a glance from your window.
âhey hon. do you want to pay jisung a visit?â an older man looks directly at you as he fixes his tie, your slightly smaller stature stands in front of him, clad in the same outfit he saw you standing in earlierâminus a set of blue gloves.
the mention of his name has him attempting to hear your conversation better. he strains to hear over his racing heart, but he hears you reply with a hesitant âsureâ. even from where heâs standing, he can see the fear in your eyes. he doesnât exactly know why they glisten with unshed tears and he looks away as your family gathers around you in a group hug. he felt like he was intruding an important family moment.
heâs not sure how much time has passed with how he was trying hard not to eavesdrop, but your front door suddenly nudges open, surprising him almost enough to drop his staff.
âyou made a little fence?â jisung hears the grin on your momâs face and he turns to you to find you staring at his little creation around your ducks.
your face is turned down into a frown, your hands clad in the blue gloves you were wearing the first time he saw you that day. âi didnât.â
this seems to silence your parents as they watch you with curious eyes. you looked conflicted, almost as if you didnât know whether or not you liked the fact that someone had added to your small creation.
âwell⊠then maybe jack frost did it?â
jisung perks up at the mention of his name, (well his alter egoâs name, you could say) his jaw slacks at the playful tone your father had taken when talking about him. but your eyes immediately roll into the back of your head.
âyeah, whatever.â the last word was mumbled underneath your breath, but he heard it loud and clear. he couldnât understand why you not believing in him hurt the most, even when he knew you didnât just by the fact that you couldnât see him.
he watches dejectedly as your family gets into your car, you taking the back seat while your family sit in the front. your head bobs to music that was probably playing on the radio, and all he could do is stand on your porch as your dad drives you all away.
â
âlet me see my memories.â the tone heâs chosen to use wasnât gentle, but it wasnât harsh either.
jisungâs staring straight at the tooth fairy, who was in the middle of sorting out a problem with her baby fairies. she stills and purses her lips, looking at the teenage boy with red-rimmed eyes.
heâs had enough of the lies, tired of the way the rest of the guardians seem to think they can decide what he wants to do with who he is and the past that holds the answers to everything he had questioned the man in the moon ever since he had become jack frost.
âwhat happened, jisung?â her concern is waved off by the cold boy, the grip on his staff was tightening. âplease, toothiana.â
his low whisper gets to her. he never calls her by her name unless things get too difiicult, for either of them. she could hear the pain hidden by his tough front, but she could tell that the boy was having an incredibly hard time.
âyouâve kept this from me for long enough. iâm tired of having to⊠look towards the moon and get no response every night for something i know is right here with youâ!â his voice strains from the pain heâs trying so hard to hide from her.
the fairy sighsâconflicted by the care she holds for him and her duty to protect him. ââŠokay.â
jisung was fairly surprised by how quickly she agreed to him, but she wasnât sure if she should even be allowing him to see his memories, strict rules from north was taunting her mind. but, with one more glance at jisung, she knows that she just doesnât have the heart to keep it from him.
he watches silently as she flutters over to the hidden cases of teeth she had collected over the years, her fingers skimming over thousands of tabsâone shiny case slipping out into her awaiting hands.
âjust⊠weâre here for you, jisung. okay? if you need usâŠâ the fairy gently places the gold tube in his hands before leaving him alone to discover the memories lying in the gold case.
he wasnât sure about what was preventing him from diving head first into his memories, but his gaze remained trained on the small image on the side of the tube, one that looked like his younger self. the silence he was left with seemed to scream at him to touch the white surface.
âsung! jisung, where are you?!
he wanted to call out to the voice, tell them that he was right here and that he was doing just fine. he could hear the panic in the unfamiliar voice despite it being muffled and quiet.
being in this moment scared him more than anything ever hasâhe could have his memories in his hands right now and they were all at the touch of his fingertips. but the idea of it all overwhelmed him, pushing his heart to rage against his chest.
jisung⊠where did you go?
âiâm right here.â his whisper is heard by no one.
â
âthatâs so stupid!â the room is filled with giggles as the boy attempts to flip whipped cream up from the back of his hand and into his mouth.
with a cute frown, âit is not! and itâs so possible.â jisung rolls his eyes, slapping his wrist and missing for the hundredth time.
this only causes the two kids to fall into even more fits of giggles, the whipped cream landing on the young boyâs forehead. he looked incredibly silly, but nothing could have prepared the younger girl for how adorable he looked, despite it all.
âshouldnât you get going? or do you wanna stay over tonight?â she breaks the comfortable atmosphere with the tough question. the girl knew how sensitive the topic of jisungâs parents were, which is why she attempted to avoid it as much as she could. but it was late, and if he didnât go home now, he would for sure be in trouble.
his deep sigh is what meets the soft question, and though he tries to hide behind a smile, she knew he was hurting.
âis it okay if i stay over?â
she never asks why, but thatâs why jisungâs so lucky to have the girl sitting in front of him. his question is met by a soft nod from her, eliciting his lips to tug into a small smile.
âyouâre the best.â
the sliver of a memory soothes one of jisungâs many curiosities. the small gold case heâs holding opened up one of his many lost memories, one that he knows was treasured by his younger self. the sight of the faceless girl haunts his mind as he imagines the memory over and over again. who was she to him?
âdamn it,â jisung huffs when he feels frustrated tears sting at his eyes.
he could tell by the one memory he allowed himself to seeâthat the reason the guardians were hiding this from him, was because of the difficult past he was dealt with. he may not remember any of it, but slowly it was piecing itself together.
â
you hated this day. and with every year that passes, youâd wonder if it would ever get easier, but it never does. seeing your best friendâs name engraved on a tombstone was never an easy sight. it never failed to bring you to tears.
your parents would always carry a new boquet of hyacinths, jisungâs favorite flower according to you. the three of you would arrive at his grave, a different boquet already sitting at the feet of his tombstone.
you had your hands in your pockets and your gaze settled on the floorâso you didnât notice a certain white haired boy who had settled himself on your porch.
âwoah. what the hell?!â your loud voice seems to go ignored by your parents as they head into your house. your heart was racing at the sight of the unknown boy who seemed just as startled as you were.
jisungâs eyes are blown wide as he stares back at you, ây-you can see meâŠ?â
youâre clutching at your jacket as you stare at him, bewildered. what the hell?
âyes i can see you, y-you freak! who the hell are you?!â
he stumbles as he picks up his staff, the hood resting on his head falls as he slowly steps off your porch. âshh, dude. you have to be quiet.â
jisung doesnât know what heâs doing. he came here to get some piece of mindâand when your car came rolling up your driveway, he wasnât expecting you to see him.
âyou expect me to be quiet when youâre just mmfâ!â
both of you are surprised when jisung surges forward and covers your mouth with his hand. youâre stunned at his action, his palm feeling cold as ice against your skin.
âno one else sees me. i donât know why you do, though. so you have to shut up.â heâs quiet now, his eyes turning to your front door, trying to see if your parents were going to come out at any moment.
âwho the hell are you?â your voice is slightly calm now, the boy stands sheepishly in front of you. his silence gives you a moment to look him over, a ridiculous wooden staff is sitting between his fingersâa blue hoodie clads his skinny figure and his feet were bare against the white snow covering your front yard.
âiâmâuh⊠jack..?â he watches, amused at how you seem to stare at him with disbelief.
âjack?â you whisper, your jaw unclenches as he nods at your question. an easy smile dancing on his lips.
he honestly has no idea what heâs doing. but he does know that heâs enjoying it.
âyeah! jack frost, ever heard of me?â he smiles lazily. it wasnât everyday that he could introduce himself as the fairytale that he seems to have become over the past for years to anyone.
your frown is instant. jisung watched as your eyes danced across his face, taking in the familiarity of his older, colder features.
he expected anything. maybe a jaw drop. maybe a gasp, maybe even an eyebrow raise with some questioning as to whether or not he was serious.
what he didnât expect though, was for your eyes to widen before your body crumpled to the ground.
â
the warmth of your bed is the first thing that you register when you wake from the strangest dream.
youâd seen jisung. you were sure of it. his hair was as white as snow, and he stared at you with not one hint of recognitionâjust mischief and a little disbelief at the idea of you seeing him.
âjackâŠâ your murmur disturbed the silence of your bedroom. sitting up, your blanket fell off your shoulders. you were still in the clothes you wore to jisungâs grave, and the moonlight spilling into your room was the only source of light that illuminated your space.
confusion and sadness wraps itself around your heart as you try and shake the feelings that your dream had welcomed back into your head.
unbeknownst to you, frost begins to form on the corners of your closed window as a certain white haired boy perches himself on your roofâhis grip on his wooden staff tightening at your quiet whisper.
he didnât know who you wereânot up until a few days ago, anyway. so why did a flash of recognition cross your eyes before you tumbled to the ground?
was that his confirmation that he was the jisung you were talking about? but how?
the jisung you knew was dead. and he was very much alive. albeit, invisible to everyone, but alive. except he wasnât invisible to you.
the cold boyâs eyes wandered up to the moon, glaring at it as it seemed to be taunting him from above. how could he possibly have more questions now that heâd watched one memory from his stupid golden tooth capsule?
with one last huff (and a glance towards your now peaceful figure tucked away underneath your blanket), jisung standsâand lets the air take him far away from your house.
â
âjisung! donât go so fast!â
giggles erupt into the air as jisung grips onto the girlâs arms, leading them both across the frozen water.
his smile was bright enough to light up the darkest of nights, watching as the girl struggles to balance herself on the slipper surface.
âyouâre alright.â he murmurs to her, grinning as a splash of pink settles on her cheeks.
the girl shakes her head, her grip on his arms tightening as she feels their speed start to pick up once more. âi swear to God, park jisung, if we fallââ
âdonât worry, darling. i wonât ever let you fall.â
âjack?â the tooth fairyâs tentative voice cracks jisungâs concentration as he shuts the golden capsule shut.
she eyes him, watching as he buries what he felt by what he saw deep beneath his surface. he clears his throat before shoving the capsule into the pocket that rests on the bottom of his sweater.
âwhatâs up?â
her wings flutter furiously as she flies herself over to him. âare⊠are you alright?â
and the concern in her voiceâpisses him off.
âyeah. never better.â jisung smiles at her, allowing his frustration to coat his words and drip off them.
he watches as she flinches at the harshness of his words, her mouth forming a slight pout, and guilt tugs at his heart. he sighs, trying to shake the frustration from his mind.
âiâm sorry.â he murmurs, turning away from the fairy to reel back his emotions. technically, it wasnât her fault that the memory of the girl was flawed. so it wasnât fair to the tooth fairy that he was taking his frustrations out on her.
she smiles slightly, reaching up to fluff his hair.
âiâm sorry too, jack.â
their eyes meet and he feels his resolve cracking just a tiny bit. he had always loved the tooth fairy in a sort of, sisterly kind of way, even when sheâd piss him off a lot of the time.
she bites her lip, her wings fluttering as she brings herself back down to her feet.
ââŠdid opening your tooth box help with anything?â she asks hesitantly, unsure of how heâd taken the weight of his past.
jisung swallows. his grip on the golden capsule tightens as he avoids her gaze.
âit⊠it actually raised a lot more questions.â he sighs, his jaw clenching as the image of the faceless girl forces its way back into his mind.
the tooth fairy frowns, watching him closely. âhow so?â
âi havenât actually fully opened it. i could only let myself see two memories,â she nods, listening intently as jisung runs his hand through his hair.
he bites his lip, a frown making its way onto his face before he continued, âboth of which had this girl. we were inseparable, apparently. but in both memories her face is blurred.â
the green fairy sighs. âthat does happen to some tooth boxes. either the memories are tampered with time, or they were simply memories that the child wanted to block out. but you did say that you and the girl seemed close? i wonder why younger you had wanted to block those memories outâŠâ
jisungâs eyes fall closed, frustration swirling beneath his chest once more.
heâd taken his tooth box in hopes for answers. and yet here he stands, more and more questions filling his mindâand suffocating his peace.
â
âyouâre here.â
your voice came out breathless, though you didnât mean for it to be. jisung was sitting on your fence, snowflakes flying from his fingertips and his staff at his feet.
his eyes darted to your figure and his lips turned up into a grin. âhello to you too!â
your heart stutters in your chest. so it wasnât a dream.
jisung grins when he hops off your fence to make his way to you. his staff hanging comfortably from his hands. there was a sense of familiarity that drew him to you, a weird feeling that oddlyâreminded him of home.
âyou, good lady, happen to be one of the only humans that can see me.â jisung smiles wider when he reaches to stand right in front of you. your neck cranes to look into his eyes, and it satisfies a small part of him that he chooses to ignore.
âgood lady?â jisung laughs as you cringe, pushing the hood off his head.
âyâknow, like good sir?â you roll your eyes as jisung nods his head to the pile of snow in front of the two of you.
your eyes widen as they finally register the sheer amount of ducks that have been spread across your yard. âwhat⊠the?â
jisung laughs and scratches the back of his neck as he watches your reaction carefully.
âi saw you that day. you were making ducks with that contraption of yoursâfigured itâd be a lot faster if i made them for you.â
youâre still staring at the snow ducks, all in different shapes and sizes, your voice having evaded your throat.
jisung shuffles on his feet, unsure of what to make of your silence. he flicks his fingers at the ducks and watches happily as they come to life.
âthis is⊠this is awesome, jack.â
he stiffens at the name, but smiles nonetheless. you step forward to crouch closer to the ducks, laughing when some of them waddle around you. jisung grins, flicking his wrist to create even more magic with the snow that shoots from his fingertips.
your giggles fill the air as he makes snow glide through the air, before bursting into tiny snowflakes that glitter as the sunshine hits them.
jisung?
the oddly familiar voice distracts the white haired boy, his fingers freezing in the air. youâre still distracted by the snowflakes when jisung feels for the tooth box in his pocket.
âsung, whereâd you go?
âi-i gotta go. i forgot i had some place to be.â he murmurs, tugging the hood of his hoodie back over his head.
your eyes linger on the little ducks all over your feet, âalright. when will iâ?â
when you finally tear your eyes away from the snow, the icy boy is nowhere to be found.
â
i⊠iâm right here.
it was weirdly quiet. jisung felt like he was floating, which was definitely not something he was used to. his eyes were closed, and he couldnât seem to peel them open.
âpark jisung, i swear if youâre hiding just to scare me, iâm going to kill you!â
y/n. where were you? your voice sounded so far away.
it was cold. jisung felt the bite of the freezing winter air, but he didnât feel the need to care at all.
ââsung, seriouslyâŠâ you sounded annoyed. but he was right there.
iâm here!
jisung was convinced that he was trapped in a dream. he couldnât bring himself to open his eyes, or to reply to your annoyed cries.
then he heard your phone ringâa heartbroken gasp tumbles past your lips, and hurried footsteps fade farther and farther away from him.
y/n! iâm right hereâŠ
ây/n.â jisung gasps, the tooth box slipping from his fingers. the truth slams into him and brings him to his knees.
your last memory of him, was that heâd ditched you. the revelation wraps around his heart as tears push their way past his strong exterior.
for years he had longed to know who he had been before the man in the moon chose him to be a guardian. for years he longed for a familyâone that knew him as park jisung and not as jack frost.
and now, the answers to his prayers were right there, within his reach.
âjack?â northâs deep voice brings him out of the haze he was drowning in.
tears were blurring his vision, but he stood, grabbing his staff before wiping them off with his sleeve. âi⊠i have a family.â
jisungâs soft voice brings a small smile onto northâs face. the rest of the guardians had been just that all their lives, guardians. jackâjisung, had been the only one who was turned into a guardian after a tragedy that had struck his life.
north had hoped to keep him in the dark for as long as possible, though he knew it was never going to end up that way. when jisung was first introduced as a guardian, he had been so cluelessâso accepting of his fate as jack frost, that north had felt itâd been best to allow him to learn to love himself as jack frost, even if that meant not knowing who he was as park jisung.
he had, obviously, been wrong.
âgo, ji.â
jisungâs sobs (embarrassingly) get louder, surging forward to wrap his arms around north.
âthank you, north.â
â
something told jisung that you werenât home. even though he passed by, eyeing the car that sat in your driveway.
the cold winter air was leading him some place else. some place closer to the girl that seemed to feel more and more like home.
âi miss you, âsung.â
your lonely whisper just manages to reach his ears as he slows to a stop a couple feet away from where you sat.
his eyes wandered past your seated figure, slowly taking in where the wind had taken him.
a frozen over lake. one that he knew quite well.
it was cold. jisung felt the bite of the freezing winter air, but he didnât feel the need to care at all.
âwhereâd you go, âsung?â your heartbroken whisper echoes through the empty lake once more, and urges jisung to move closer to you.
âiâm right here.â
youâre startledâyour head whips towards his figure before youâre up on your feet. youâre frowning at him, but all he can do is smile warmly back at you.
âjack? what are youââ
he moves forward, flicking his wrists to form makeshift ice skates on your feet. jisung has no idea what heâs doing, but he moves swiftly and hurriedlyâtransferring the two of you onto the frozen lake.
âjack!â your gasp is full of fear, your hands gripping onto his forearms as jisung glides the two of you across the frozen water.
âiâm so sorry it took me this long to remember you. to remember us, y/n.â jisungâs murmur is quiet, the cold winter air suddenly heats as your eyes find his despite the fear of falling.
it takes a second, but the truth hits you just as hard as it had him a couple hours before.
park jisung was in front of you. his brown hair hair was swapped with strands that were white as snow, his eyes were blue instead of their usual dark brown and his feet were bareâbut there was no doubting the sweet smile that etched itself onto his lips and the dimples that came with it.
ââŠâsung?â
your whisper is breathless once more, and the smile that curves jisungâs lips could not be sweeter.
in which park jisung loved snow ducks, but he loved you more.
a/n: merry christmas to those who celebrate! iâm back after almost a year (LOL) to drop this jack frost!jisung au thatâs been rotting in my drafts ever since heâd dyed his hair for glimo T_T
warning/s: f!reader x jisung, mild profanity (like one or two), not proofread, fluff & angst if you squint, jisung and reader are CLUELESS, insinuations of a rough past, jisung as jack frost (because this is a warning in and of itself)
jisung couldnât have imagined getting used to a life where no one knew his name. a life where everyone seemed to walk right through his body even when he was standing directly in front of them, his dark blue jacket hanging loosely on his bodyâbare feet feeling numb despite the cold concrete beneath them.
alas, he didnât really have a choice. waking up to the man in the moon telling him that he was special? thatâs what thrusted him into his new lifestyle.
âjack frost?â the curious tone of a short brown haired girl tore his attention away from his dwindling thoughtsâshe was staring cluelessly up at her father, who watched her from the familyâs porch.
jisung huffs, a small smirk already pulling at his lips. heâs heard this conversation a thousand times, but he was always curious as to how each parent would spin the story and he in-turn was pleasantly surprised at the amount of different takes each parent would tell their kids.
the man clears his throat before repeating the same old folklore the people of the city had made up about the white haired boy, yet with a new-found twist. âif you stay outside too long, jack frost will come and freeze you up!â
this makes the teenage boy chuckle, his staff hanging freely on his fingertips. sure, he can cause a blizzard with just the touch of them thanks to the man in the moon, but even he wouldnât do that to a little girl. though, his sharp eyes watches her gasp before she rushes up from her spot in front of their house, the snow beneath her feet crackles as she giggles into her dads arms.
jisung doesnât know what makes his heart freeze, the lonely feeling he gets from the heartwarming family gestureâor the snowstorm he seems to be brewing over the city of pennsylvania.
â
âyou were out again?â
jisung sighs. he didnât want to be sitting through another one of the tooth fairyâs lectures and with this one being his third of the week, he could probably recite her lecture off the top of his head.
her wings were fluttering rapidly as her cheeks tinted pink with how frustrated she was with him. âyou didnât throw snowballs at a childâs head again did you?â
a laugh almost bubbles from his lips. almost.
âthat was one time! and they had fun didnât they?â the boy grins as he twirls the small snowflakes around in the air above his fingers. he watches as she relaxes a tiny bit, her wings still making the slight fluttering noise heâs learned to drown out. the green fairy sighs, tired from having to say the same thing over and over again to the michievous boy standing in front of her with absolutely no care in the world.
âdonât let north find out, okay? heâll rip your head right off.â she ends her lecture short with a small murmur, which catches jisung off guard. her bright smile flashes at him before sheâs whisked away by one of her many fairies.
being a guardian wasnât always easy, he was a teenage boy for godâs sake and having to deal with everything a boy his age does on top of having to be a ârole modelâ for millions of kids out in the worldâmeant finding time for him to just be himself, the teenage jisung park, was a scarce opportunity. he knew the tooth fairy only meant well, they all did, even the easter bunny. but he felt like they didnât understand. they didnât know about the grip his past had on him, a past that he isnât even fully aware about yet. they didnât know that sometimes all he yearns for are answers to who he really is.
but despite all this, he picks up his staff with his gaze trailing over the hundreds of elves scattered across the north pole.
and the white haired boy is goneâwith only a small snowflake left in his place.
â
over the years, jisungâs learned to ignore the ache in his chest that longs to search for the answers to the questions swirling in his head. instead, he enjoys walking in the silence of the nightâthe glow from sandmanâs magic lights his path as he prods at the floor beneath him.
he welcomes the cold, the one thing that has brought him comfort over these last few years. watching the ice create beautiful shapes on the pavement strangely relaxes him as he hums a soft song he doesnât remember, though his heart seems to recognize the familiar tune.
âgreat job, sandy.â jisung whispers into the dead of the night, watching proudly as the yellow sand sifts into each house he passes by.
the boy lifts himself into the air with little to no effort. he lets a chuckle slip past his lips as his fingers feel through the sandmanâs âdream trailâ as he likes to call it. jisung has always admired him, his power to soothe children and provide them with heart warming dreams to keep their sleep from being distrupted.
on nights like this, cold and lonely ones, he misses his home deeply. he knows it sounds ridiculous, to miss a home he doesnât even remember, but he dreams that he had a family. one that would snuggle under one blanket on nights like this oneâone that would wake each other up on christmas day because north or âsantaâ had decided to pay them a visit.
heâs snapped out of his daydream though when he spots you sitting in front of your house. jisungâs never been one to keep track of time, but judging off the dream trail, he was pretty sure that it was late enough for no one to be out. you seemed to be busying yourself with something in the snow, so he takes this as his sign to drop down from the wires heâd been standing on previously.
âducks?â heâs confused when he sees enough ducks made of snow sitting in a straight line, all of them nearly identical to each other.
his curious mind pushes him to wander towards your hunched figure, but something in him makes him cautiousâalmost like approaching you was a mistake.
jisung chooses to ignore the unfamiliar feeling, his feet making no marks in the snow as he squats next to you, his staff standing tall next to both of your figures.
his eyes linger on your face, the top of your head was covered in a black beanie with a pom pom sitting at the top. you were clad in your pajamas and a jacketâan outfit that kind of matched hisâyour cheeks and nose were both stained pink from the cold, but your eyes shimmered in happiness as you continued to make another duck.
âyou kind of look like a ryan to me..?â heâs startled by the warmth in your voice, followed by the soft giggles that left your lips.
he could tell you were his age, something he oddly never encounters. heâs used to seeing toddlers running and playing around in the snow, so the weird feeling of familiarity settles in his chest as you put down the duck-making-contraption to blow some warmth into your hands.
you donât seem to notice him, not like he expected you to, but itâs when you whisper something into the cold air that has him rooted to his place on the ground.
âi hope you still like ducks, âsung. i made too many for you to not like them anymore! happy birthday, wherever you are.â
and you disappear back into your house after picking up your contraption.
â
âhow would she even know who i am?! i sure as hell donât know who she is!â jisung was close to ripping the frosty white hair off his head and his feet were burning the solid floor of the north pole from the amount of pacing heâs been doing since he had gotten there an hour before all the elves had woken up and gotten to work.
northâs jaw ticks as he sighs for what felt like the millionth time that morning. âfor the last time, jack, she probably means someone else! itâs not like youâre the only âjisungâ in the world.â
the rest of the guardians bob their heads in aggreement, soft murmurs of their own comments all mesh into oneâbut jisung decides against them all. he felt a physical pull towards you, the shape of your face, the way you spoke and the way your eyes shone in the moonlight⊠all those things felt so familiar, but he was driving himself crazy as to why it all felt the way it did.
âiâm telling you. she knows who i am!â
he was frustrated. the feeling of familiarity in his chest was addicting and so very comforting. he wanted to know who you wereâhow you knew himâwell, he was so sure that he was the ââsungâ you were talking about.
his heart was racing so loudly that it was pumping in his ears. the questions that were screaming at him made his head spin. it wasnât like the helplessness he felt when he couldnât remember his past. this⊠this was worldâs apart from that.
despite it all, jisungâs pacing seems to slow to a stop before his eyes narrow into slits. the silence of a certain green fairy was enough for his mind to swirl with a couple thousand more questions.
his gaze hardens like the ice heâs able to create with his fingertips, âyou know something.â
the phrase comes out bitter and demanding. something the younger boy has never used especially around any of the guardians. he watches as the fairyâs eyes dart to everything in the room except him, explanations spilling from her mouth.
âno i donât! who said i did? was it one of my own? because thereâs absolutely noooo way i know anything! nothing! nada! zerââ
the tooth fairy bites her lip as she watches jisungâs grip tighten on the wooden staff.
âpark,â northâs voice is low, the warning clear in his tone. he loves jisung like he would love his own son if he had one, but he would not and will not tolerate him hurting any of the other guardians.
not like he could ever do that.
âyouâre going to tell me what you know right now.â the frustration is evident in his voice. he was tired of being left in the darkâforced to fend for himself when thatâs all heâs been doing for so long. too long.
the fairy fiddles with her fingers, her wings flapping at an even faster rate behind her. âi-i donât know much. butâi have your teeth. f-from when you were just jisung park.â
the world seems to slow to a stop. jisungâs read about it happening in some books he found in the nooks and crannies of the north pole, but he hadnât expected it to feel like it did.
he knew what that meant. she had once told him that all the teeth she had collected from each kid held a memory from their lives. the collection of memories all locked in the gold tube he used to gaze at with so much curiosity, the memories unlocked by one touch of his finger.
the silence was suffocating himâand suddenly he couldnât breathe.
âjisung. you have to calm down.â
the worried gaze of the easter bunny somewhat helps him, though his rapid breaths were starting to be difficult on his lungs. hearing how something so crucial to figuring out his past, to figuring out who he is, was kept from him by someone heâs kept so close for the past few years seemed to be crushing him.
ây-you⊠you had the answers to my questions all this time⊠and you didnât⊠you didnât tell me?â heartbreak drips from his tone. all those nights he spent trying to shut out the loud thoughts in his headâall of which couldâve been solved if the tooth fairy had just told him what she just did.
âwe wanted you to embrace who you are now, jack. youâre a guardian now, it doesnât matter what happened in the pastââ
âthatâs not for you to decide!â his rough shout startles everyone in the room, even some of the elves. his eyes sting from the unshed tears heâs determined to keep from rolling down his cheeks.
âit wasnât your right to take that from me. those are my memories, my past, my life!â jisungâs breathing hard now. the intensity of how painful this secret was overbearing. and the fact that everyone knew? not just the tooth fairy? thatâs what hurt him most.
he scoffs, the grip on his staff tightening as he lifts his hood up above his head.
âi canât believe any of you.â he ignores the way they all scramble after him, pleading for him to calm downâhe needed to be somewhere else, anywhere else but in a room full of people who just shattered his already bruised heart.
â
you couldnât stand the cold. you prefer to be out on a sunny and warm day than to play in the snow while simultaneously freezing to death.
so why were you standing out in the cold?
you wished you could say that you didnât know. that somehow, the cold just brought you some source of comfort and that you couldnât pinpoint the exact reason as to why. but you did know. you know that youâre out here because of a certain boy and how he always loved the snow. how he knew how to handle himself on ice, even when it was freezing and his teeth were chattering.
ây/n? come back inside, dear. itâs freezing!â the voice of your mother pulls you from your everlasting thoughts of the boy you loved, as it almost always did.
you turn to look at her and you see the pity in her eyes. you know she can tell whenever you start to get out of sorts over your best friend who went missing four years ago now. sheâs seen the ducks left out, just like you do for every birthday thatâs passed without him.
âiâll be in in a minute, mom.â you smile, a genuine one, soaking in the cold for a little bit more when you hear your front door gently closing after a soft reply from your mom.
you hadnât known what happened to your best friend, and he never got the justice you felt he deserved. but him disappearing without a trace seemed to scream ârunaway!â to the police, so his case was dropped, much to yours and your familyâs devastation. you still remember the day you found out he disappeared like it was yesterday.
âwhereâs this boy at?â your irritated sigh is acxompanied with a white puff from your mouth, the cold atmosphere made your breath visible as your teeth chattered and your fingers trembled.
despite it all, you were there. waiting in front of the fountain of your town like you always do when winter starts.
âhello! this is jisung, i donât seem to have heard your call orâshit y/n cut that out! sorry uh⊠leave your message at the beep, okay bye!â
âdamn it.â the frustration was settling in, your eyes gazing at the digital numbers taunting you on your phone. itâs almost been an hour since you were supposed to meet jisung hereâeither he had forgotten your plans, or he simply liked to torture you because he knew how much you hated the coldâand if it was the latter, you were certain youâd kill him.
your phone rings in your hands and you hurriedly pick up, expecting to hear your best friends deep voice scrambling with apologies.
âjisuââ
ââŠhoney? where are you? mrs. park just called to say that jisungâs gone missingâŠâ
your life hasnât been the same ever since. you never heard a peep from the boyâand even after a whole year of you texting his number, someone else eventually answered, regretfully telling you that they werenât jisung, but an older lady named kira.
which was a weird experience, but your parents were glad that you had finally let go of texting your missing best friend. they knew you would take the news the hardest. you were head over heels for this boy, and seeing as how you both were attached at the hipâthey were worried for how youâd cope.
and theyâve settled that you making ducks out of snow once a year seems to be the perfect way to cope for you.
âthis is stupid,â you mutter, more to yourself than anyone in particular. you gaze at the perfectly lined up ducks. eighteen of them.
thatâs how old jisung wouldâve turned that year.
when your fingers start to feel numb, the cold air seeming to get even colder, you decide that maybe itâs time to head back inside. you glance one more time over at the eighteen ducks sitting neatly at the front of your porch. a small flicker in you hopes that one day, they somehow bring jisung home.
â
he didnât know what he was doing here. after all that happened in the north pole, he just let the wind take him anywhere. his mind was too busy to figure out where heâd stay before returning back to the north pole when everything was sorted out in his mind and heart.
and thatâs how he finds himself standing next to you. his hood is up and his tight grip on his staff causes you to let out a small shiver.
he can tell youâre feeling somber, your eyes werenât as happy as they were when he first saw you and your gaze seemed to linger at nothing in particular.
he watches as you purse your lips before slowly heading back inside. jisung didnât know who you were, but being next to you warmed his freezing heart with a sense of familiarity he hasnât felt in so long.
âeighteenâŠâ his soft mumble is heard by no one, he had counted the ducks you had lined up by your house.
he wonders why you had decided to make that many, but a small smile tugs at his lips when he uses his magic to create a small pile of snow around the ducks, forming a small fence around all of them.
jisungâs torn from his thoughts when he hears soft chatter coming from the inside of your house, his curiosity getting the better of him while he stands to steal a glance from your window.
âhey hon. do you want to pay jisung a visit?â an older man looks directly at you as he fixes his tie, your slightly smaller stature stands in front of him, clad in the same outfit he saw you standing in earlierâminus a set of blue gloves.
the mention of his name has him attempting to hear your conversation better. he strains to hear over his racing heart, but he hears you reply with a hesitant âsureâ. even from where heâs standing, he can see the fear in your eyes. he doesnât exactly know why they glisten with unshed tears and he looks away as your family gathers around you in a group hug. he felt like he was intruding an important family moment.
heâs not sure how much time has passed with how he was trying hard not to eavesdrop, but your front door suddenly nudges open, surprising him almost enough to drop his staff.
âyou made a little fence?â jisung hears the grin on your momâs face and he turns to you to find you staring at his little creation around your ducks.
your face is turned down into a frown, your hands clad in the blue gloves you were wearing the first time he saw you that day. âi didnât.â
this seems to silence your parents as they watch you with curious eyes. you looked conflicted, almost as if you didnât know whether or not you liked the fact that someone had added to your small creation.
âwell⊠then maybe jack frost did it?â
jisung perks up at the mention of his name, (well his alter egoâs name, you could say) his jaw slacks at the playful tone your father had taken when talking about him. but your eyes immediately roll into the back of your head.
âyeah, whatever.â the last word was mumbled underneath your breath, but he heard it loud and clear. he couldnât understand why you not believing in him hurt the most, even when he knew you didnât just by the fact that you couldnât see him.
he watches dejectedly as your family gets into your car, you taking the back seat while your family sit in the front. your head bobs to music that was probably playing on the radio, and all he could do is stand on your porch as your dad drives you all away.
â
âlet me see my memories.â the tone heâs chosen to use wasnât gentle, but it wasnât harsh either.
jisungâs staring straight at the tooth fairy, who was in the middle of sorting out a problem with her baby fairies. she stills and purses her lips, looking at the teenage boy with red-rimmed eyes.
heâs had enough of the lies, tired of the way the rest of the guardians seem to think they can decide what he wants to do with who he is and the past that holds the answers to everything he had questioned the man in the moon ever since he had become jack frost.
âwhat happened, jisung?â her concern is waved off by the cold boy, the grip on his staff was tightening. âplease, toothiana.â
his low whisper gets to her. he never calls her by her name unless things get too difiicult, for either of them. she could hear the pain hidden by his tough front, but she could tell that the boy was having an incredibly hard time.
âyouâve kept this from me for long enough. iâm tired of having to⊠look towards the moon and get no response every night for something i know is right here with youâ!â his voice strains from the pain heâs trying so hard to hide from her.
the fairy sighsâconflicted by the care she holds for him and her duty to protect him. ââŠokay.â
jisung was fairly surprised by how quickly she agreed to him, but she wasnât sure if she should even be allowing him to see his memories, strict rules from north was taunting her mind. but, with one more glance at jisung, she knows that she just doesnât have the heart to keep it from him.
he watches silently as she flutters over to the hidden cases of teeth she had collected over the years, her fingers skimming over thousands of tabsâone shiny case slipping out into her awaiting hands.
âjust⊠weâre here for you, jisung. okay? if you need usâŠâ the fairy gently places the gold tube in his hands before leaving him alone to discover the memories lying in the gold case.
he wasnât sure about what was preventing him from diving head first into his memories, but his gaze remained trained on the small image on the side of the tube, one that looked like his younger self. the silence he was left with seemed to scream at him to touch the white surface.
âsung! jisung, where are you?!
he wanted to call out to the voice, tell them that he was right here and that he was doing just fine. he could hear the panic in the unfamiliar voice despite it being muffled and quiet.
being in this moment scared him more than anything ever hasâhe could have his memories in his hands right now and they were all at the touch of his fingertips. but the idea of it all overwhelmed him, pushing his heart to rage against his chest.
jisung⊠where did you go?
âiâm right here.â his whisper is heard by no one.
â
âthatâs so stupid!â the room is filled with giggles as the boy attempts to flip whipped cream up from the back of his hand and into his mouth.
with a cute frown, âit is not! and itâs so possible.â jisung rolls his eyes, slapping his wrist and missing for the hundredth time.
this only causes the two kids to fall into even more fits of giggles, the whipped cream landing on the young boyâs forehead. he looked incredibly silly, but nothing could have prepared the younger girl for how adorable he looked, despite it all.
âshouldnât you get going? or do you wanna stay over tonight?â she breaks the comfortable atmosphere with the tough question. the girl knew how sensitive the topic of jisungâs parents were, which is why she attempted to avoid it as much as she could. but it was late, and if he didnât go home now, he would for sure be in trouble.
his deep sigh is what meets the soft question, and though he tries to hide behind a smile, she knew he was hurting.
âis it okay if i stay over?â
she never asks why, but thatâs why jisungâs so lucky to have the girl sitting in front of him. his question is met by a soft nod from her, eliciting his lips to tug into a small smile.
âyouâre the best.â
the sliver of a memory soothes one of jisungâs many curiosities. the small gold case heâs holding opened up one of his many lost memories, one that he knows was treasured by his younger self. the sight of the faceless girl haunts his mind as he imagines the memory over and over again. who was she to him?
âdamn it,â jisung huffs when he feels frustrated tears sting at his eyes.
he could tell by the one memory he allowed himself to seeâthat the reason the guardians were hiding this from him, was because of the difficult past he was dealt with. he may not remember any of it, but slowly it was piecing itself together.
â
you hated this day. and with every year that passes, youâd wonder if it would ever get easier, but it never does. seeing your best friendâs name engraved on a tombstone was never an easy sight. it never failed to bring you to tears.
your parents would always carry a new boquet of hyacinths, jisungâs favorite flower according to you. the three of you would arrive at his grave, a different boquet already sitting at the feet of his tombstone.
you had your hands in your pockets and your gaze settled on the floorâso you didnât notice a certain white haired boy who had settled himself on your porch.
âwoah. what the hell?!â your loud voice seems to go ignored by your parents as they head into your house. your heart was racing at the sight of the unknown boy who seemed just as startled as you were.
jisungâs eyes are blown wide as he stares back at you, ây-you can see meâŠ?â
youâre clutching at your jacket as you stare at him, bewildered. what the hell?
âyes i can see you, y-you freak! who the hell are you?!â
he stumbles as he picks up his staff, the hood resting on his head falls as he slowly steps off your porch. âshh, dude. you have to be quiet.â
jisung doesnât know what heâs doing. he came here to get some piece of mindâand when your car came rolling up your driveway, he wasnât expecting you to see him.
âyou expect me to be quiet when youâre just mmfâ!â
both of you are surprised when jisung surges forward and covers your mouth with his hand. youâre stunned at his action, his palm feeling cold as ice against your skin.
âno one else sees me. i donât know why you do, though. so you have to shut up.â heâs quiet now, his eyes turning to your front door, trying to see if your parents were going to come out at any moment.
âwho the hell are you?â your voice is slightly calm now, the boy stands sheepishly in front of you. his silence gives you a moment to look him over, a ridiculous wooden staff is sitting between his fingersâa blue hoodie clads his skinny figure and his feet were bare against the white snow covering your front yard.
âiâmâuh⊠jack..?â he watches, amused at how you seem to stare at him with disbelief.
âjack?â you whisper, your jaw unclenches as he nods at your question. an easy smile dancing on his lips.
he honestly has no idea what heâs doing. but he does know that heâs enjoying it.
âyeah! jack frost, ever heard of me?â he smiles lazily. it wasnât everyday that he could introduce himself as the fairytale that he seems to have become over the past for years to anyone.
your frown is instant. jisung watched as your eyes danced across his face, taking in the familiarity of his older, colder features.
he expected anything. maybe a jaw drop. maybe a gasp, maybe even an eyebrow raise with some questioning as to whether or not he was serious.
what he didnât expect though, was for your eyes to widen before your body crumpled to the ground.
â
the warmth of your bed is the first thing that you register when you wake from the strangest dream.
youâd seen jisung. you were sure of it. his hair was as white as snow, and he stared at you with not one hint of recognitionâjust mischief and a little disbelief at the idea of you seeing him.
âjackâŠâ your murmur disturbed the silence of your bedroom. sitting up, your blanket fell off your shoulders. you were still in the clothes you wore to jisungâs grave, and the moonlight spilling into your room was the only source of light that illuminated your space.
confusion and sadness wraps itself around your heart as you try and shake the feelings that your dream had welcomed back into your head.
unbeknownst to you, frost begins to form on the corners of your closed window as a certain white haired boy perches himself on your roofâhis grip on his wooden staff tightening at your quiet whisper.
he didnât know who you wereânot up until a few days ago, anyway. so why did a flash of recognition cross your eyes before you tumbled to the ground?
was that his confirmation that he was the jisung you were talking about? but how?
the jisung you knew was dead. and he was very much alive. albeit, invisible to everyone, but alive. except he wasnât invisible to you.
the cold boyâs eyes wandered up to the moon, glaring at it as it seemed to be taunting him from above. how could he possibly have more questions now that heâd watched one memory from his stupid golden tooth capsule?
with one last huff (and a glance towards your now peaceful figure tucked away underneath your blanket), jisung standsâand lets the air take him far away from your house.
â
âjisung! donât go so fast!â
giggles erupt into the air as jisung grips onto the girlâs arms, leading them both across the frozen water.
his smile was bright enough to light up the darkest of nights, watching as the girl struggles to balance herself on the slipper surface.
âyouâre alright.â he murmurs to her, grinning as a splash of pink settles on her cheeks.
the girl shakes her head, her grip on his arms tightening as she feels their speed start to pick up once more. âi swear to God, park jisung, if we fallââ
âdonât worry, darling. i wonât ever let you fall.â
âjack?â the tooth fairyâs tentative voice cracks jisungâs concentration as he shuts the golden capsule shut.
she eyes him, watching as he buries what he felt by what he saw deep beneath his surface. he clears his throat before shoving the capsule into the pocket that rests on the bottom of his sweater.
âwhatâs up?â
her wings flutter furiously as she flies herself over to him. âare⊠are you alright?â
and the concern in her voiceâpisses him off.
âyeah. never better.â jisung smiles at her, allowing his frustration to coat his words and drip off them.
he watches as she flinches at the harshness of his words, her mouth forming a slight pout, and guilt tugs at his heart. he sighs, trying to shake the frustration from his mind.
âiâm sorry.â he murmurs, turning away from the fairy to reel back his emotions. technically, it wasnât her fault that the memory of the girl was flawed. so it wasnât fair to the tooth fairy that he was taking his frustrations out on her.
she smiles slightly, reaching up to fluff his hair.
âiâm sorry too, jack.â
their eyes meet and he feels his resolve cracking just a tiny bit. he had always loved the tooth fairy in a sort of, sisterly kind of way, even when sheâd piss him off a lot of the time.
she bites her lip, her wings fluttering as she brings herself back down to her feet.
ââŠdid opening your tooth box help with anything?â she asks hesitantly, unsure of how heâd taken the weight of his past.
jisung swallows. his grip on the golden capsule tightens as he avoids her gaze.
âit⊠it actually raised a lot more questions.â he sighs, his jaw clenching as the image of the faceless girl forces its way back into his mind.
the tooth fairy frowns, watching him closely. âhow so?â
âi havenât actually fully opened it. i could only let myself see two memories,â she nods, listening intently as jisung runs his hand through his hair.
he bites his lip, a frown making its way onto his face before he continued, âboth of which had this girl. we were inseparable, apparently. but in both memories her face is blurred.â
the green fairy sighs. âthat does happen to some tooth boxes. either the memories are tampered with time, or they were simply memories that the child wanted to block out. but you did say that you and the girl seemed close? i wonder why younger you had wanted to block those memories outâŠâ
jisungâs eyes fall closed, frustration swirling beneath his chest once more.
heâd taken his tooth box in hopes for answers. and yet here he stands, more and more questions filling his mindâand suffocating his peace.
â
âyouâre here.â
your voice came out breathless, though you didnât mean for it to be. jisung was sitting on your fence, snowflakes flying from his fingertips and his staff at his feet.
his eyes darted to your figure and his lips turned up into a grin. âhello to you too!â
your heart stutters in your chest. so it wasnât a dream.
jisung grins when he hops off your fence to make his way to you. his staff hanging comfortably from his hands. there was a sense of familiarity that drew him to you, a weird feeling that oddlyâreminded him of home.
âyou, good lady, happen to be one of the only humans that can see me.â jisung smiles wider when he reaches to stand right in front of you. your neck cranes to look into his eyes, and it satisfies a small part of him that he chooses to ignore.
âgood lady?â jisung laughs as you cringe, pushing the hood off his head.
âyâknow, like good sir?â you roll your eyes as jisung nods his head to the pile of snow in front of the two of you.
your eyes widen as they finally register the sheer amount of ducks that have been spread across your yard. âwhat⊠the?â
jisung laughs and scratches the back of his neck as he watches your reaction carefully.
âi saw you that day. you were making ducks with that contraption of yoursâfigured itâd be a lot faster if i made them for you.â
youâre still staring at the snow ducks, all in different shapes and sizes, your voice having evaded your throat.
jisung shuffles on his feet, unsure of what to make of your silence. he flicks his fingers at the ducks and watches happily as they come to life.
âthis is⊠this is awesome, jack.â
he stiffens at the name, but smiles nonetheless. you step forward to crouch closer to the ducks, laughing when some of them waddle around you. jisung grins, flicking his wrist to create even more magic with the snow that shoots from his fingertips.
your giggles fill the air as he makes snow glide through the air, before bursting into tiny snowflakes that glitter as the sunshine hits them.
jisung?
the oddly familiar voice distracts the white haired boy, his fingers freezing in the air. youâre still distracted by the snowflakes when jisung feels for the tooth box in his pocket.
âsung, whereâd you go?
âi-i gotta go. i forgot i had some place to be.â he murmurs, tugging the hood of his hoodie back over his head.
your eyes linger on the little ducks all over your feet, âalright. when will iâ?â
when you finally tear your eyes away from the snow, the icy boy is nowhere to be found.
â
i⊠iâm right here.
it was weirdly quiet. jisung felt like he was floating, which was definitely not something he was used to. his eyes were closed, and he couldnât seem to peel them open.
âpark jisung, i swear if youâre hiding just to scare me, iâm going to kill you!â
y/n. where were you? your voice sounded so far away.
it was cold. jisung felt the bite of the freezing winter air, but he didnât feel the need to care at all.
ââsung, seriouslyâŠâ you sounded annoyed. but he was right there.
iâm here!
jisung was convinced that he was trapped in a dream. he couldnât bring himself to open his eyes, or to reply to your annoyed cries.
then he heard your phone ringâa heartbroken gasp tumbles past your lips, and hurried footsteps fade farther and farther away from him.
y/n! iâm right hereâŠ
ây/n.â jisung gasps, the tooth box slipping from his fingers. the truth slams into him and brings him to his knees.
your last memory of him, was that heâd ditched you. the revelation wraps around his heart as tears push their way past his strong exterior.
for years he had longed to know who he had been before the man in the moon chose him to be a guardian. for years he longed for a familyâone that knew him as park jisung and not as jack frost.
and now, the answers to his prayers were right there, within his reach.
âjack?â northâs deep voice brings him out of the haze he was drowning in.
tears were blurring his vision, but he stood, grabbing his staff before wiping them off with his sleeve. âi⊠i have a family.â
jisungâs soft voice brings a small smile onto northâs face. the rest of the guardians had been just that all their lives, guardians. jackâjisung, had been the only one who was turned into a guardian after a tragedy that had struck his life.
north had hoped to keep him in the dark for as long as possible, though he knew it was never going to end up that way. when jisung was first introduced as a guardian, he had been so cluelessâso accepting of his fate as jack frost, that north had felt itâd been best to allow him to learn to love himself as jack frost, even if that meant not knowing who he was as park jisung.
he had, obviously, been wrong.
âgo, ji.â
jisungâs sobs (embarrassingly) get louder, surging forward to wrap his arms around north.
âthank you, north.â
â
something told jisung that you werenât home. even though he passed by, eyeing the car that sat in your driveway.
the cold winter air was leading him some place else. some place closer to the girl that seemed to feel more and more like home.
âi miss you, âsung.â
your lonely whisper just manages to reach his ears as he slows to a stop a couple feet away from where you sat.
his eyes wandered past your seated figure, slowly taking in where the wind had taken him.
a frozen over lake. one that he knew quite well.
it was cold. jisung felt the bite of the freezing winter air, but he didnât feel the need to care at all.
âwhereâd you go, âsung?â your heartbroken whisper echoes through the empty lake once more, and urges jisung to move closer to you.
âiâm right here.â
youâre startledâyour head whips towards his figure before youâre up on your feet. youâre frowning at him, but all he can do is smile warmly back at you.
âjack? what are youââ
he moves forward, flicking his wrists to form makeshift ice skates on your feet. jisung has no idea what heâs doing, but he moves swiftly and hurriedlyâtransferring the two of you onto the frozen lake.
âjack!â your gasp is full of fear, your hands gripping onto his forearms as jisung glides the two of you across the frozen water.
âiâm so sorry it took me this long to remember you. to remember us, y/n.â jisungâs murmur is quiet, the cold winter air suddenly heats as your eyes find his despite the fear of falling.
it takes a second, but the truth hits you just as hard as it had him a couple hours before.
park jisung was in front of you. his brown hair hair was swapped with strands that were white as snow, his eyes were blue instead of their usual dark brown and his feet were bareâbut there was no doubting the sweet smile that etched itself onto his lips and the dimples that came with it.
ââŠâsung?â
your whisper is breathless once more, and the smile that curves jisungâs lips could not be sweeter.
in which park jisung loved snow ducks, but he loved you more.
a/n: merry christmas to those who celebrate! iâm back after almost a year (LOL) to drop this jack frost!jisung au thatâs been rotting in my drafts ever since heâd dyed his hair for glimo T_T
warning/s: f!reader x jisung, mild profanity (like one or two), not proofread, fluff & angst if you squint, jisung and reader are CLUELESS, insinuations of a rough past, jisung as jack frost (because this is a warning in and of itself)
jisung couldnât have imagined getting used to a life where no one knew his name. a life where everyone seemed to walk right through his body even when he was standing directly in front of them, his dark blue jacket hanging loosely on his bodyâbare feet feeling numb despite the cold concrete beneath them.
alas, he didnât really have a choice. waking up to the man in the moon telling him that he was special? thatâs what thrusted him into his new lifestyle.
âjack frost?â the curious tone of a short brown haired girl tore his attention away from his dwindling thoughtsâshe was staring cluelessly up at her father, who watched her from the familyâs porch.
jisung huffs, a small smirk already pulling at his lips. heâs heard this conversation a thousand times, but he was always curious as to how each parent would spin the story and he in-turn was pleasantly surprised at the amount of different takes each parent would tell their kids.
the man clears his throat before repeating the same old folklore the people of the city had made up about the white haired boy, yet with a new-found twist. âif you stay outside too long, jack frost will come and freeze you up!â
this makes the teenage boy chuckle, his staff hanging freely on his fingertips. sure, he can cause a blizzard with just the touch of them thanks to the man in the moon, but even he wouldnât do that to a little girl. though, his sharp eyes watches her gasp before she rushes up from her spot in front of their house, the snow beneath her feet crackles as she giggles into her dads arms.
jisung doesnât know what makes his heart freeze, the lonely feeling he gets from the heartwarming family gestureâor the snowstorm he seems to be brewing over the city of pennsylvania.
â
âyou were out again?â
jisung sighs. he didnât want to be sitting through another one of the tooth fairyâs lectures and with this one being his third of the week, he could probably recite her lecture off the top of his head.
her wings were fluttering rapidly as her cheeks tinted pink with how frustrated she was with him. âyou didnât throw snowballs at a childâs head again did you?â
a laugh almost bubbles from his lips. almost.
âthat was one time! and they had fun didnât they?â the boy grins as he twirls the small snowflakes around in the air above his fingers. he watches as she relaxes a tiny bit, her wings still making the slight fluttering noise heâs learned to drown out. the green fairy sighs, tired from having to say the same thing over and over again to the michievous boy standing in front of her with absolutely no care in the world.
âdonât let north find out, okay? heâll rip your head right off.â she ends her lecture short with a small murmur, which catches jisung off guard. her bright smile flashes at him before sheâs whisked away by one of her many fairies.
being a guardian wasnât always easy, he was a teenage boy for godâs sake and having to deal with everything a boy his age does on top of having to be a ârole modelâ for millions of kids out in the worldâmeant finding time for him to just be himself, the teenage jisung park, was a scarce opportunity. he knew the tooth fairy only meant well, they all did, even the easter bunny. but he felt like they didnât understand. they didnât know about the grip his past had on him, a past that he isnât even fully aware about yet. they didnât know that sometimes all he yearns for are answers to who he really is.
but despite all this, he picks up his staff with his gaze trailing over the hundreds of elves scattered across the north pole.
and the white haired boy is goneâwith only a small snowflake left in his place.
â
over the years, jisungâs learned to ignore the ache in his chest that longs to search for the answers to the questions swirling in his head. instead, he enjoys walking in the silence of the nightâthe glow from sandmanâs magic lights his path as he prods at the floor beneath him.
he welcomes the cold, the one thing that has brought him comfort over these last few years. watching the ice create beautiful shapes on the pavement strangely relaxes him as he hums a soft song he doesnât remember, though his heart seems to recognize the familiar tune.
âgreat job, sandy.â jisung whispers into the dead of the night, watching proudly as the yellow sand sifts into each house he passes by.
the boy lifts himself into the air with little to no effort. he lets a chuckle slip past his lips as his fingers feel through the sandmanâs âdream trailâ as he likes to call it. jisung has always admired him, his power to soothe children and provide them with heart warming dreams to keep their sleep from being distrupted.
on nights like this, cold and lonely ones, he misses his home deeply. he knows it sounds ridiculous, to miss a home he doesnât even remember, but he dreams that he had a family. one that would snuggle under one blanket on nights like this oneâone that would wake each other up on christmas day because north or âsantaâ had decided to pay them a visit.
heâs snapped out of his daydream though when he spots you sitting in front of your house. jisungâs never been one to keep track of time, but judging off the dream trail, he was pretty sure that it was late enough for no one to be out. you seemed to be busying yourself with something in the snow, so he takes this as his sign to drop down from the wires heâd been standing on previously.
âducks?â heâs confused when he sees enough ducks made of snow sitting in a straight line, all of them nearly identical to each other.
his curious mind pushes him to wander towards your hunched figure, but something in him makes him cautiousâalmost like approaching you was a mistake.
jisung chooses to ignore the unfamiliar feeling, his feet making no marks in the snow as he squats next to you, his staff standing tall next to both of your figures.
his eyes linger on your face, the top of your head was covered in a black beanie with a pom pom sitting at the top. you were clad in your pajamas and a jacketâan outfit that kind of matched hisâyour cheeks and nose were both stained pink from the cold, but your eyes shimmered in happiness as you continued to make another duck.
âyou kind of look like a ryan to me..?â heâs startled by the warmth in your voice, followed by the soft giggles that left your lips.
he could tell you were his age, something he oddly never encounters. heâs used to seeing toddlers running and playing around in the snow, so the weird feeling of familiarity settles in his chest as you put down the duck-making-contraption to blow some warmth into your hands.
you donât seem to notice him, not like he expected you to, but itâs when you whisper something into the cold air that has him rooted to his place on the ground.
âi hope you still like ducks, âsung. i made too many for you to not like them anymore! happy birthday, wherever you are.â
and you disappear back into your house after picking up your contraption.
â
âhow would she even know who i am?! i sure as hell donât know who she is!â jisung was close to ripping the frosty white hair off his head and his feet were burning the solid floor of the north pole from the amount of pacing heâs been doing since he had gotten there an hour before all the elves had woken up and gotten to work.
northâs jaw ticks as he sighs for what felt like the millionth time that morning. âfor the last time, jack, she probably means someone else! itâs not like youâre the only âjisungâ in the world.â
the rest of the guardians bob their heads in aggreement, soft murmurs of their own comments all mesh into oneâbut jisung decides against them all. he felt a physical pull towards you, the shape of your face, the way you spoke and the way your eyes shone in the moonlight⊠all those things felt so familiar, but he was driving himself crazy as to why it all felt the way it did.
âiâm telling you. she knows who i am!â
he was frustrated. the feeling of familiarity in his chest was addicting and so very comforting. he wanted to know who you wereâhow you knew himâwell, he was so sure that he was the ââsungâ you were talking about.
his heart was racing so loudly that it was pumping in his ears. the questions that were screaming at him made his head spin. it wasnât like the helplessness he felt when he couldnât remember his past. this⊠this was worldâs apart from that.
despite it all, jisungâs pacing seems to slow to a stop before his eyes narrow into slits. the silence of a certain green fairy was enough for his mind to swirl with a couple thousand more questions.
his gaze hardens like the ice heâs able to create with his fingertips, âyou know something.â
the phrase comes out bitter and demanding. something the younger boy has never used especially around any of the guardians. he watches as the fairyâs eyes dart to everything in the room except him, explanations spilling from her mouth.
âno i donât! who said i did? was it one of my own? because thereâs absolutely noooo way i know anything! nothing! nada! zerââ
the tooth fairy bites her lip as she watches jisungâs grip tighten on the wooden staff.
âpark,â northâs voice is low, the warning clear in his tone. he loves jisung like he would love his own son if he had one, but he would not and will not tolerate him hurting any of the other guardians.
not like he could ever do that.
âyouâre going to tell me what you know right now.â the frustration is evident in his voice. he was tired of being left in the darkâforced to fend for himself when thatâs all heâs been doing for so long. too long.
the fairy fiddles with her fingers, her wings flapping at an even faster rate behind her. âi-i donât know much. butâi have your teeth. f-from when you were just jisung park.â
the world seems to slow to a stop. jisungâs read about it happening in some books he found in the nooks and crannies of the north pole, but he hadnât expected it to feel like it did.
he knew what that meant. she had once told him that all the teeth she had collected from each kid held a memory from their lives. the collection of memories all locked in the gold tube he used to gaze at with so much curiosity, the memories unlocked by one touch of his finger.
the silence was suffocating himâand suddenly he couldnât breathe.
âjisung. you have to calm down.â
the worried gaze of the easter bunny somewhat helps him, though his rapid breaths were starting to be difficult on his lungs. hearing how something so crucial to figuring out his past, to figuring out who he is, was kept from him by someone heâs kept so close for the past few years seemed to be crushing him.
ây-you⊠you had the answers to my questions all this time⊠and you didnât⊠you didnât tell me?â heartbreak drips from his tone. all those nights he spent trying to shut out the loud thoughts in his headâall of which couldâve been solved if the tooth fairy had just told him what she just did.
âwe wanted you to embrace who you are now, jack. youâre a guardian now, it doesnât matter what happened in the pastââ
âthatâs not for you to decide!â his rough shout startles everyone in the room, even some of the elves. his eyes sting from the unshed tears heâs determined to keep from rolling down his cheeks.
âit wasnât your right to take that from me. those are my memories, my past, my life!â jisungâs breathing hard now. the intensity of how painful this secret was overbearing. and the fact that everyone knew? not just the tooth fairy? thatâs what hurt him most.
he scoffs, the grip on his staff tightening as he lifts his hood up above his head.
âi canât believe any of you.â he ignores the way they all scramble after him, pleading for him to calm downâhe needed to be somewhere else, anywhere else but in a room full of people who just shattered his already bruised heart.
â
you couldnât stand the cold. you prefer to be out on a sunny and warm day than to play in the snow while simultaneously freezing to death.
so why were you standing out in the cold?
you wished you could say that you didnât know. that somehow, the cold just brought you some source of comfort and that you couldnât pinpoint the exact reason as to why. but you did know. you know that youâre out here because of a certain boy and how he always loved the snow. how he knew how to handle himself on ice, even when it was freezing and his teeth were chattering.
ây/n? come back inside, dear. itâs freezing!â the voice of your mother pulls you from your everlasting thoughts of the boy you loved, as it almost always did.
you turn to look at her and you see the pity in her eyes. you know she can tell whenever you start to get out of sorts over your best friend who went missing four years ago now. sheâs seen the ducks left out, just like you do for every birthday thatâs passed without him.
âiâll be in in a minute, mom.â you smile, a genuine one, soaking in the cold for a little bit more when you hear your front door gently closing after a soft reply from your mom.
you hadnât known what happened to your best friend, and he never got the justice you felt he deserved. but him disappearing without a trace seemed to scream ârunaway!â to the police, so his case was dropped, much to yours and your familyâs devastation. you still remember the day you found out he disappeared like it was yesterday.
âwhereâs this boy at?â your irritated sigh is acxompanied with a white puff from your mouth, the cold atmosphere made your breath visible as your teeth chattered and your fingers trembled.
despite it all, you were there. waiting in front of the fountain of your town like you always do when winter starts.
âhello! this is jisung, i donât seem to have heard your call orâshit y/n cut that out! sorry uh⊠leave your message at the beep, okay bye!â
âdamn it.â the frustration was settling in, your eyes gazing at the digital numbers taunting you on your phone. itâs almost been an hour since you were supposed to meet jisung hereâeither he had forgotten your plans, or he simply liked to torture you because he knew how much you hated the coldâand if it was the latter, you were certain youâd kill him.
your phone rings in your hands and you hurriedly pick up, expecting to hear your best friends deep voice scrambling with apologies.
âjisuââ
ââŠhoney? where are you? mrs. park just called to say that jisungâs gone missingâŠâ
your life hasnât been the same ever since. you never heard a peep from the boyâand even after a whole year of you texting his number, someone else eventually answered, regretfully telling you that they werenât jisung, but an older lady named kira.
which was a weird experience, but your parents were glad that you had finally let go of texting your missing best friend. they knew you would take the news the hardest. you were head over heels for this boy, and seeing as how you both were attached at the hipâthey were worried for how youâd cope.
and theyâve settled that you making ducks out of snow once a year seems to be the perfect way to cope for you.
âthis is stupid,â you mutter, more to yourself than anyone in particular. you gaze at the perfectly lined up ducks. eighteen of them.
thatâs how old jisung wouldâve turned that year.
when your fingers start to feel numb, the cold air seeming to get even colder, you decide that maybe itâs time to head back inside. you glance one more time over at the eighteen ducks sitting neatly at the front of your porch. a small flicker in you hopes that one day, they somehow bring jisung home.
â
he didnât know what he was doing here. after all that happened in the north pole, he just let the wind take him anywhere. his mind was too busy to figure out where heâd stay before returning back to the north pole when everything was sorted out in his mind and heart.
and thatâs how he finds himself standing next to you. his hood is up and his tight grip on his staff causes you to let out a small shiver.
he can tell youâre feeling somber, your eyes werenât as happy as they were when he first saw you and your gaze seemed to linger at nothing in particular.
he watches as you purse your lips before slowly heading back inside. jisung didnât know who you were, but being next to you warmed his freezing heart with a sense of familiarity he hasnât felt in so long.
âeighteenâŠâ his soft mumble is heard by no one, he had counted the ducks you had lined up by your house.
he wonders why you had decided to make that many, but a small smile tugs at his lips when he uses his magic to create a small pile of snow around the ducks, forming a small fence around all of them.
jisungâs torn from his thoughts when he hears soft chatter coming from the inside of your house, his curiosity getting the better of him while he stands to steal a glance from your window.
âhey hon. do you want to pay jisung a visit?â an older man looks directly at you as he fixes his tie, your slightly smaller stature stands in front of him, clad in the same outfit he saw you standing in earlierâminus a set of blue gloves.
the mention of his name has him attempting to hear your conversation better. he strains to hear over his racing heart, but he hears you reply with a hesitant âsureâ. even from where heâs standing, he can see the fear in your eyes. he doesnât exactly know why they glisten with unshed tears and he looks away as your family gathers around you in a group hug. he felt like he was intruding an important family moment.
heâs not sure how much time has passed with how he was trying hard not to eavesdrop, but your front door suddenly nudges open, surprising him almost enough to drop his staff.
âyou made a little fence?â jisung hears the grin on your momâs face and he turns to you to find you staring at his little creation around your ducks.
your face is turned down into a frown, your hands clad in the blue gloves you were wearing the first time he saw you that day. âi didnât.â
this seems to silence your parents as they watch you with curious eyes. you looked conflicted, almost as if you didnât know whether or not you liked the fact that someone had added to your small creation.
âwell⊠then maybe jack frost did it?â
jisung perks up at the mention of his name, (well his alter egoâs name, you could say) his jaw slacks at the playful tone your father had taken when talking about him. but your eyes immediately roll into the back of your head.
âyeah, whatever.â the last word was mumbled underneath your breath, but he heard it loud and clear. he couldnât understand why you not believing in him hurt the most, even when he knew you didnât just by the fact that you couldnât see him.
he watches dejectedly as your family gets into your car, you taking the back seat while your family sit in the front. your head bobs to music that was probably playing on the radio, and all he could do is stand on your porch as your dad drives you all away.
â
âlet me see my memories.â the tone heâs chosen to use wasnât gentle, but it wasnât harsh either.
jisungâs staring straight at the tooth fairy, who was in the middle of sorting out a problem with her baby fairies. she stills and purses her lips, looking at the teenage boy with red-rimmed eyes.
heâs had enough of the lies, tired of the way the rest of the guardians seem to think they can decide what he wants to do with who he is and the past that holds the answers to everything he had questioned the man in the moon ever since he had become jack frost.
âwhat happened, jisung?â her concern is waved off by the cold boy, the grip on his staff was tightening. âplease, toothiana.â
his low whisper gets to her. he never calls her by her name unless things get too difiicult, for either of them. she could hear the pain hidden by his tough front, but she could tell that the boy was having an incredibly hard time.
âyouâve kept this from me for long enough. iâm tired of having to⊠look towards the moon and get no response every night for something i know is right here with youâ!â his voice strains from the pain heâs trying so hard to hide from her.
the fairy sighsâconflicted by the care she holds for him and her duty to protect him. ââŠokay.â
jisung was fairly surprised by how quickly she agreed to him, but she wasnât sure if she should even be allowing him to see his memories, strict rules from north was taunting her mind. but, with one more glance at jisung, she knows that she just doesnât have the heart to keep it from him.
he watches silently as she flutters over to the hidden cases of teeth she had collected over the years, her fingers skimming over thousands of tabsâone shiny case slipping out into her awaiting hands.
âjust⊠weâre here for you, jisung. okay? if you need usâŠâ the fairy gently places the gold tube in his hands before leaving him alone to discover the memories lying in the gold case.
he wasnât sure about what was preventing him from diving head first into his memories, but his gaze remained trained on the small image on the side of the tube, one that looked like his younger self. the silence he was left with seemed to scream at him to touch the white surface.
âsung! jisung, where are you?!
he wanted to call out to the voice, tell them that he was right here and that he was doing just fine. he could hear the panic in the unfamiliar voice despite it being muffled and quiet.
being in this moment scared him more than anything ever hasâhe could have his memories in his hands right now and they were all at the touch of his fingertips. but the idea of it all overwhelmed him, pushing his heart to rage against his chest.
jisung⊠where did you go?
âiâm right here.â his whisper is heard by no one.
â
âthatâs so stupid!â the room is filled with giggles as the boy attempts to flip whipped cream up from the back of his hand and into his mouth.
with a cute frown, âit is not! and itâs so possible.â jisung rolls his eyes, slapping his wrist and missing for the hundredth time.
this only causes the two kids to fall into even more fits of giggles, the whipped cream landing on the young boyâs forehead. he looked incredibly silly, but nothing could have prepared the younger girl for how adorable he looked, despite it all.
âshouldnât you get going? or do you wanna stay over tonight?â she breaks the comfortable atmosphere with the tough question. the girl knew how sensitive the topic of jisungâs parents were, which is why she attempted to avoid it as much as she could. but it was late, and if he didnât go home now, he would for sure be in trouble.
his deep sigh is what meets the soft question, and though he tries to hide behind a smile, she knew he was hurting.
âis it okay if i stay over?â
she never asks why, but thatâs why jisungâs so lucky to have the girl sitting in front of him. his question is met by a soft nod from her, eliciting his lips to tug into a small smile.
âyouâre the best.â
the sliver of a memory soothes one of jisungâs many curiosities. the small gold case heâs holding opened up one of his many lost memories, one that he knows was treasured by his younger self. the sight of the faceless girl haunts his mind as he imagines the memory over and over again. who was she to him?
âdamn it,â jisung huffs when he feels frustrated tears sting at his eyes.
he could tell by the one memory he allowed himself to seeâthat the reason the guardians were hiding this from him, was because of the difficult past he was dealt with. he may not remember any of it, but slowly it was piecing itself together.
â
you hated this day. and with every year that passes, youâd wonder if it would ever get easier, but it never does. seeing your best friendâs name engraved on a tombstone was never an easy sight. it never failed to bring you to tears.
your parents would always carry a new boquet of hyacinths, jisungâs favorite flower according to you. the three of you would arrive at his grave, a different boquet already sitting at the feet of his tombstone.
you had your hands in your pockets and your gaze settled on the floorâso you didnât notice a certain white haired boy who had settled himself on your porch.
âwoah. what the hell?!â your loud voice seems to go ignored by your parents as they head into your house. your heart was racing at the sight of the unknown boy who seemed just as startled as you were.
jisungâs eyes are blown wide as he stares back at you, ây-you can see meâŠ?â
youâre clutching at your jacket as you stare at him, bewildered. what the hell?
âyes i can see you, y-you freak! who the hell are you?!â
he stumbles as he picks up his staff, the hood resting on his head falls as he slowly steps off your porch. âshh, dude. you have to be quiet.â
jisung doesnât know what heâs doing. he came here to get some piece of mindâand when your car came rolling up your driveway, he wasnât expecting you to see him.
âyou expect me to be quiet when youâre just mmfâ!â
both of you are surprised when jisung surges forward and covers your mouth with his hand. youâre stunned at his action, his palm feeling cold as ice against your skin.
âno one else sees me. i donât know why you do, though. so you have to shut up.â heâs quiet now, his eyes turning to your front door, trying to see if your parents were going to come out at any moment.
âwho the hell are you?â your voice is slightly calm now, the boy stands sheepishly in front of you. his silence gives you a moment to look him over, a ridiculous wooden staff is sitting between his fingersâa blue hoodie clads his skinny figure and his feet were bare against the white snow covering your front yard.
âiâmâuh⊠jack..?â he watches, amused at how you seem to stare at him with disbelief.
âjack?â you whisper, your jaw unclenches as he nods at your question. an easy smile dancing on his lips.
he honestly has no idea what heâs doing. but he does know that heâs enjoying it.
âyeah! jack frost, ever heard of me?â he smiles lazily. it wasnât everyday that he could introduce himself as the fairytale that he seems to have become over the past for years to anyone.
your frown is instant. jisung watched as your eyes danced across his face, taking in the familiarity of his older, colder features.
he expected anything. maybe a jaw drop. maybe a gasp, maybe even an eyebrow raise with some questioning as to whether or not he was serious.
what he didnât expect though, was for your eyes to widen before your body crumpled to the ground.
â
the warmth of your bed is the first thing that you register when you wake from the strangest dream.
youâd seen jisung. you were sure of it. his hair was as white as snow, and he stared at you with not one hint of recognitionâjust mischief and a little disbelief at the idea of you seeing him.
âjackâŠâ your murmur disturbed the silence of your bedroom. sitting up, your blanket fell off your shoulders. you were still in the clothes you wore to jisungâs grave, and the moonlight spilling into your room was the only source of light that illuminated your space.
confusion and sadness wraps itself around your heart as you try and shake the feelings that your dream had welcomed back into your head.
unbeknownst to you, frost begins to form on the corners of your closed window as a certain white haired boy perches himself on your roofâhis grip on his wooden staff tightening at your quiet whisper.
he didnât know who you wereânot up until a few days ago, anyway. so why did a flash of recognition cross your eyes before you tumbled to the ground?
was that his confirmation that he was the jisung you were talking about? but how?
the jisung you knew was dead. and he was very much alive. albeit, invisible to everyone, but alive. except he wasnât invisible to you.
the cold boyâs eyes wandered up to the moon, glaring at it as it seemed to be taunting him from above. how could he possibly have more questions now that heâd watched one memory from his stupid golden tooth capsule?
with one last huff (and a glance towards your now peaceful figure tucked away underneath your blanket), jisung standsâand lets the air take him far away from your house.
â
âjisung! donât go so fast!â
giggles erupt into the air as jisung grips onto the girlâs arms, leading them both across the frozen water.
his smile was bright enough to light up the darkest of nights, watching as the girl struggles to balance herself on the slipper surface.
âyouâre alright.â he murmurs to her, grinning as a splash of pink settles on her cheeks.
the girl shakes her head, her grip on his arms tightening as she feels their speed start to pick up once more. âi swear to God, park jisung, if we fallââ
âdonât worry, darling. i wonât ever let you fall.â
âjack?â the tooth fairyâs tentative voice cracks jisungâs concentration as he shuts the golden capsule shut.
she eyes him, watching as he buries what he felt by what he saw deep beneath his surface. he clears his throat before shoving the capsule into the pocket that rests on the bottom of his sweater.
âwhatâs up?â
her wings flutter furiously as she flies herself over to him. âare⊠are you alright?â
and the concern in her voiceâpisses him off.
âyeah. never better.â jisung smiles at her, allowing his frustration to coat his words and drip off them.
he watches as she flinches at the harshness of his words, her mouth forming a slight pout, and guilt tugs at his heart. he sighs, trying to shake the frustration from his mind.
âiâm sorry.â he murmurs, turning away from the fairy to reel back his emotions. technically, it wasnât her fault that the memory of the girl was flawed. so it wasnât fair to the tooth fairy that he was taking his frustrations out on her.
she smiles slightly, reaching up to fluff his hair.
âiâm sorry too, jack.â
their eyes meet and he feels his resolve cracking just a tiny bit. he had always loved the tooth fairy in a sort of, sisterly kind of way, even when sheâd piss him off a lot of the time.
she bites her lip, her wings fluttering as she brings herself back down to her feet.
ââŠdid opening your tooth box help with anything?â she asks hesitantly, unsure of how heâd taken the weight of his past.
jisung swallows. his grip on the golden capsule tightens as he avoids her gaze.
âit⊠it actually raised a lot more questions.â he sighs, his jaw clenching as the image of the faceless girl forces its way back into his mind.
the tooth fairy frowns, watching him closely. âhow so?â
âi havenât actually fully opened it. i could only let myself see two memories,â she nods, listening intently as jisung runs his hand through his hair.
he bites his lip, a frown making its way onto his face before he continued, âboth of which had this girl. we were inseparable, apparently. but in both memories her face is blurred.â
the green fairy sighs. âthat does happen to some tooth boxes. either the memories are tampered with time, or they were simply memories that the child wanted to block out. but you did say that you and the girl seemed close? i wonder why younger you had wanted to block those memories outâŠâ
jisungâs eyes fall closed, frustration swirling beneath his chest once more.
heâd taken his tooth box in hopes for answers. and yet here he stands, more and more questions filling his mindâand suffocating his peace.
â
âyouâre here.â
your voice came out breathless, though you didnât mean for it to be. jisung was sitting on your fence, snowflakes flying from his fingertips and his staff at his feet.
his eyes darted to your figure and his lips turned up into a grin. âhello to you too!â
your heart stutters in your chest. so it wasnât a dream.
jisung grins when he hops off your fence to make his way to you. his staff hanging comfortably from his hands. there was a sense of familiarity that drew him to you, a weird feeling that oddlyâreminded him of home.
âyou, good lady, happen to be one of the only humans that can see me.â jisung smiles wider when he reaches to stand right in front of you. your neck cranes to look into his eyes, and it satisfies a small part of him that he chooses to ignore.
âgood lady?â jisung laughs as you cringe, pushing the hood off his head.
âyâknow, like good sir?â you roll your eyes as jisung nods his head to the pile of snow in front of the two of you.
your eyes widen as they finally register the sheer amount of ducks that have been spread across your yard. âwhat⊠the?â
jisung laughs and scratches the back of his neck as he watches your reaction carefully.
âi saw you that day. you were making ducks with that contraption of yoursâfigured itâd be a lot faster if i made them for you.â
youâre still staring at the snow ducks, all in different shapes and sizes, your voice having evaded your throat.
jisung shuffles on his feet, unsure of what to make of your silence. he flicks his fingers at the ducks and watches happily as they come to life.
âthis is⊠this is awesome, jack.â
he stiffens at the name, but smiles nonetheless. you step forward to crouch closer to the ducks, laughing when some of them waddle around you. jisung grins, flicking his wrist to create even more magic with the snow that shoots from his fingertips.
your giggles fill the air as he makes snow glide through the air, before bursting into tiny snowflakes that glitter as the sunshine hits them.
jisung?
the oddly familiar voice distracts the white haired boy, his fingers freezing in the air. youâre still distracted by the snowflakes when jisung feels for the tooth box in his pocket.
âsung, whereâd you go?
âi-i gotta go. i forgot i had some place to be.â he murmurs, tugging the hood of his hoodie back over his head.
your eyes linger on the little ducks all over your feet, âalright. when will iâ?â
when you finally tear your eyes away from the snow, the icy boy is nowhere to be found.
â
i⊠iâm right here.
it was weirdly quiet. jisung felt like he was floating, which was definitely not something he was used to. his eyes were closed, and he couldnât seem to peel them open.
âpark jisung, i swear if youâre hiding just to scare me, iâm going to kill you!â
y/n. where were you? your voice sounded so far away.
it was cold. jisung felt the bite of the freezing winter air, but he didnât feel the need to care at all.
ââsung, seriouslyâŠâ you sounded annoyed. but he was right there.
iâm here!
jisung was convinced that he was trapped in a dream. he couldnât bring himself to open his eyes, or to reply to your annoyed cries.
then he heard your phone ringâa heartbroken gasp tumbles past your lips, and hurried footsteps fade farther and farther away from him.
y/n! iâm right hereâŠ
ây/n.â jisung gasps, the tooth box slipping from his fingers. the truth slams into him and brings him to his knees.
your last memory of him, was that heâd ditched you. the revelation wraps around his heart as tears push their way past his strong exterior.
for years he had longed to know who he had been before the man in the moon chose him to be a guardian. for years he longed for a familyâone that knew him as park jisung and not as jack frost.
and now, the answers to his prayers were right there, within his reach.
âjack?â northâs deep voice brings him out of the haze he was drowning in.
tears were blurring his vision, but he stood, grabbing his staff before wiping them off with his sleeve. âi⊠i have a family.â
jisungâs soft voice brings a small smile onto northâs face. the rest of the guardians had been just that all their lives, guardians. jackâjisung, had been the only one who was turned into a guardian after a tragedy that had struck his life.
north had hoped to keep him in the dark for as long as possible, though he knew it was never going to end up that way. when jisung was first introduced as a guardian, he had been so cluelessâso accepting of his fate as jack frost, that north had felt itâd been best to allow him to learn to love himself as jack frost, even if that meant not knowing who he was as park jisung.
he had, obviously, been wrong.
âgo, ji.â
jisungâs sobs (embarrassingly) get louder, surging forward to wrap his arms around north.
âthank you, north.â
â
something told jisung that you werenât home. even though he passed by, eyeing the car that sat in your driveway.
the cold winter air was leading him some place else. some place closer to the girl that seemed to feel more and more like home.
âi miss you, âsung.â
your lonely whisper just manages to reach his ears as he slows to a stop a couple feet away from where you sat.
his eyes wandered past your seated figure, slowly taking in where the wind had taken him.
a frozen over lake. one that he knew quite well.
it was cold. jisung felt the bite of the freezing winter air, but he didnât feel the need to care at all.
âwhereâd you go, âsung?â your heartbroken whisper echoes through the empty lake once more, and urges jisung to move closer to you.
âiâm right here.â
youâre startledâyour head whips towards his figure before youâre up on your feet. youâre frowning at him, but all he can do is smile warmly back at you.
âjack? what are youââ
he moves forward, flicking his wrists to form makeshift ice skates on your feet. jisung has no idea what heâs doing, but he moves swiftly and hurriedlyâtransferring the two of you onto the frozen lake.
âjack!â your gasp is full of fear, your hands gripping onto his forearms as jisung glides the two of you across the frozen water.
âiâm so sorry it took me this long to remember you. to remember us, y/n.â jisungâs murmur is quiet, the cold winter air suddenly heats as your eyes find his despite the fear of falling.
it takes a second, but the truth hits you just as hard as it had him a couple hours before.
park jisung was in front of you. his brown hair hair was swapped with strands that were white as snow, his eyes were blue instead of their usual dark brown and his feet were bareâbut there was no doubting the sweet smile that etched itself onto his lips and the dimples that came with it.
ââŠâsung?â
your whisper is breathless once more, and the smile that curves jisungâs lips could not be sweeter.
in which park jisung loved snow ducks, but he loved you more.
a/n: merry christmas to those who celebrate! iâm back after almost a year (LOL) to drop this jack frost!jisung au thatâs been rotting in my drafts ever since heâd dyed his hair for glimo T_T
warning/s: f!reader x jisung, mild profanity (like one or two), not proofread, fluff & angst if you squint, jisung and reader are CLUELESS, insinuations of a rough past, jisung as jack frost (because this is a warning in and of itself)
jisung couldnât have imagined getting used to a life where no one knew his name. a life where everyone seemed to walk right through his body even when he was standing directly in front of them, his dark blue jacket hanging loosely on his bodyâbare feet feeling numb despite the cold concrete beneath them.
alas, he didnât really have a choice. waking up to the man in the moon telling him that he was special? thatâs what thrusted him into his new lifestyle.
âjack frost?â the curious tone of a short brown haired girl tore his attention away from his dwindling thoughtsâshe was staring cluelessly up at her father, who watched her from the familyâs porch.
jisung huffs, a small smirk already pulling at his lips. heâs heard this conversation a thousand times, but he was always curious as to how each parent would spin the story and he in-turn was pleasantly surprised at the amount of different takes each parent would tell their kids.
the man clears his throat before repeating the same old folklore the people of the city had made up about the white haired boy, yet with a new-found twist. âif you stay outside too long, jack frost will come and freeze you up!â
this makes the teenage boy chuckle, his staff hanging freely on his fingertips. sure, he can cause a blizzard with just the touch of them thanks to the man in the moon, but even he wouldnât do that to a little girl. though, his sharp eyes watches her gasp before she rushes up from her spot in front of their house, the snow beneath her feet crackles as she giggles into her dads arms.
jisung doesnât know what makes his heart freeze, the lonely feeling he gets from the heartwarming family gestureâor the snowstorm he seems to be brewing over the city of pennsylvania.
â
âyou were out again?â
jisung sighs. he didnât want to be sitting through another one of the tooth fairyâs lectures and with this one being his third of the week, he could probably recite her lecture off the top of his head.
her wings were fluttering rapidly as her cheeks tinted pink with how frustrated she was with him. âyou didnât throw snowballs at a childâs head again did you?â
a laugh almost bubbles from his lips. almost.
âthat was one time! and they had fun didnât they?â the boy grins as he twirls the small snowflakes around in the air above his fingers. he watches as she relaxes a tiny bit, her wings still making the slight fluttering noise heâs learned to drown out. the green fairy sighs, tired from having to say the same thing over and over again to the michievous boy standing in front of her with absolutely no care in the world.
âdonât let north find out, okay? heâll rip your head right off.â she ends her lecture short with a small murmur, which catches jisung off guard. her bright smile flashes at him before sheâs whisked away by one of her many fairies.
being a guardian wasnât always easy, he was a teenage boy for godâs sake and having to deal with everything a boy his age does on top of having to be a ârole modelâ for millions of kids out in the worldâmeant finding time for him to just be himself, the teenage jisung park, was a scarce opportunity. he knew the tooth fairy only meant well, they all did, even the easter bunny. but he felt like they didnât understand. they didnât know about the grip his past had on him, a past that he isnât even fully aware about yet. they didnât know that sometimes all he yearns for are answers to who he really is.
but despite all this, he picks up his staff with his gaze trailing over the hundreds of elves scattered across the north pole.
and the white haired boy is goneâwith only a small snowflake left in his place.
â
over the years, jisungâs learned to ignore the ache in his chest that longs to search for the answers to the questions swirling in his head. instead, he enjoys walking in the silence of the nightâthe glow from sandmanâs magic lights his path as he prods at the floor beneath him.
he welcomes the cold, the one thing that has brought him comfort over these last few years. watching the ice create beautiful shapes on the pavement strangely relaxes him as he hums a soft song he doesnât remember, though his heart seems to recognize the familiar tune.
âgreat job, sandy.â jisung whispers into the dead of the night, watching proudly as the yellow sand sifts into each house he passes by.
the boy lifts himself into the air with little to no effort. he lets a chuckle slip past his lips as his fingers feel through the sandmanâs âdream trailâ as he likes to call it. jisung has always admired him, his power to soothe children and provide them with heart warming dreams to keep their sleep from being distrupted.
on nights like this, cold and lonely ones, he misses his home deeply. he knows it sounds ridiculous, to miss a home he doesnât even remember, but he dreams that he had a family. one that would snuggle under one blanket on nights like this oneâone that would wake each other up on christmas day because north or âsantaâ had decided to pay them a visit.
heâs snapped out of his daydream though when he spots you sitting in front of your house. jisungâs never been one to keep track of time, but judging off the dream trail, he was pretty sure that it was late enough for no one to be out. you seemed to be busying yourself with something in the snow, so he takes this as his sign to drop down from the wires heâd been standing on previously.
âducks?â heâs confused when he sees enough ducks made of snow sitting in a straight line, all of them nearly identical to each other.
his curious mind pushes him to wander towards your hunched figure, but something in him makes him cautiousâalmost like approaching you was a mistake.
jisung chooses to ignore the unfamiliar feeling, his feet making no marks in the snow as he squats next to you, his staff standing tall next to both of your figures.
his eyes linger on your face, the top of your head was covered in a black beanie with a pom pom sitting at the top. you were clad in your pajamas and a jacketâan outfit that kind of matched hisâyour cheeks and nose were both stained pink from the cold, but your eyes shimmered in happiness as you continued to make another duck.
âyou kind of look like a ryan to me..?â heâs startled by the warmth in your voice, followed by the soft giggles that left your lips.
he could tell you were his age, something he oddly never encounters. heâs used to seeing toddlers running and playing around in the snow, so the weird feeling of familiarity settles in his chest as you put down the duck-making-contraption to blow some warmth into your hands.
you donât seem to notice him, not like he expected you to, but itâs when you whisper something into the cold air that has him rooted to his place on the ground.
âi hope you still like ducks, âsung. i made too many for you to not like them anymore! happy birthday, wherever you are.â
and you disappear back into your house after picking up your contraption.
â
âhow would she even know who i am?! i sure as hell donât know who she is!â jisung was close to ripping the frosty white hair off his head and his feet were burning the solid floor of the north pole from the amount of pacing heâs been doing since he had gotten there an hour before all the elves had woken up and gotten to work.
northâs jaw ticks as he sighs for what felt like the millionth time that morning. âfor the last time, jack, she probably means someone else! itâs not like youâre the only âjisungâ in the world.â
the rest of the guardians bob their heads in aggreement, soft murmurs of their own comments all mesh into oneâbut jisung decides against them all. he felt a physical pull towards you, the shape of your face, the way you spoke and the way your eyes shone in the moonlight⊠all those things felt so familiar, but he was driving himself crazy as to why it all felt the way it did.
âiâm telling you. she knows who i am!â
he was frustrated. the feeling of familiarity in his chest was addicting and so very comforting. he wanted to know who you wereâhow you knew himâwell, he was so sure that he was the ââsungâ you were talking about.
his heart was racing so loudly that it was pumping in his ears. the questions that were screaming at him made his head spin. it wasnât like the helplessness he felt when he couldnât remember his past. this⊠this was worldâs apart from that.
despite it all, jisungâs pacing seems to slow to a stop before his eyes narrow into slits. the silence of a certain green fairy was enough for his mind to swirl with a couple thousand more questions.
his gaze hardens like the ice heâs able to create with his fingertips, âyou know something.â
the phrase comes out bitter and demanding. something the younger boy has never used especially around any of the guardians. he watches as the fairyâs eyes dart to everything in the room except him, explanations spilling from her mouth.
âno i donât! who said i did? was it one of my own? because thereâs absolutely noooo way i know anything! nothing! nada! zerââ
the tooth fairy bites her lip as she watches jisungâs grip tighten on the wooden staff.
âpark,â northâs voice is low, the warning clear in his tone. he loves jisung like he would love his own son if he had one, but he would not and will not tolerate him hurting any of the other guardians.
not like he could ever do that.
âyouâre going to tell me what you know right now.â the frustration is evident in his voice. he was tired of being left in the darkâforced to fend for himself when thatâs all heâs been doing for so long. too long.
the fairy fiddles with her fingers, her wings flapping at an even faster rate behind her. âi-i donât know much. butâi have your teeth. f-from when you were just jisung park.â
the world seems to slow to a stop. jisungâs read about it happening in some books he found in the nooks and crannies of the north pole, but he hadnât expected it to feel like it did.
he knew what that meant. she had once told him that all the teeth she had collected from each kid held a memory from their lives. the collection of memories all locked in the gold tube he used to gaze at with so much curiosity, the memories unlocked by one touch of his finger.
the silence was suffocating himâand suddenly he couldnât breathe.
âjisung. you have to calm down.â
the worried gaze of the easter bunny somewhat helps him, though his rapid breaths were starting to be difficult on his lungs. hearing how something so crucial to figuring out his past, to figuring out who he is, was kept from him by someone heâs kept so close for the past few years seemed to be crushing him.
ây-you⊠you had the answers to my questions all this time⊠and you didnât⊠you didnât tell me?â heartbreak drips from his tone. all those nights he spent trying to shut out the loud thoughts in his headâall of which couldâve been solved if the tooth fairy had just told him what she just did.
âwe wanted you to embrace who you are now, jack. youâre a guardian now, it doesnât matter what happened in the pastââ
âthatâs not for you to decide!â his rough shout startles everyone in the room, even some of the elves. his eyes sting from the unshed tears heâs determined to keep from rolling down his cheeks.
âit wasnât your right to take that from me. those are my memories, my past, my life!â jisungâs breathing hard now. the intensity of how painful this secret was overbearing. and the fact that everyone knew? not just the tooth fairy? thatâs what hurt him most.
he scoffs, the grip on his staff tightening as he lifts his hood up above his head.
âi canât believe any of you.â he ignores the way they all scramble after him, pleading for him to calm downâhe needed to be somewhere else, anywhere else but in a room full of people who just shattered his already bruised heart.
â
you couldnât stand the cold. you prefer to be out on a sunny and warm day than to play in the snow while simultaneously freezing to death.
so why were you standing out in the cold?
you wished you could say that you didnât know. that somehow, the cold just brought you some source of comfort and that you couldnât pinpoint the exact reason as to why. but you did know. you know that youâre out here because of a certain boy and how he always loved the snow. how he knew how to handle himself on ice, even when it was freezing and his teeth were chattering.
ây/n? come back inside, dear. itâs freezing!â the voice of your mother pulls you from your everlasting thoughts of the boy you loved, as it almost always did.
you turn to look at her and you see the pity in her eyes. you know she can tell whenever you start to get out of sorts over your best friend who went missing four years ago now. sheâs seen the ducks left out, just like you do for every birthday thatâs passed without him.
âiâll be in in a minute, mom.â you smile, a genuine one, soaking in the cold for a little bit more when you hear your front door gently closing after a soft reply from your mom.
you hadnât known what happened to your best friend, and he never got the justice you felt he deserved. but him disappearing without a trace seemed to scream ârunaway!â to the police, so his case was dropped, much to yours and your familyâs devastation. you still remember the day you found out he disappeared like it was yesterday.
âwhereâs this boy at?â your irritated sigh is acxompanied with a white puff from your mouth, the cold atmosphere made your breath visible as your teeth chattered and your fingers trembled.
despite it all, you were there. waiting in front of the fountain of your town like you always do when winter starts.
âhello! this is jisung, i donât seem to have heard your call orâshit y/n cut that out! sorry uh⊠leave your message at the beep, okay bye!â
âdamn it.â the frustration was settling in, your eyes gazing at the digital numbers taunting you on your phone. itâs almost been an hour since you were supposed to meet jisung hereâeither he had forgotten your plans, or he simply liked to torture you because he knew how much you hated the coldâand if it was the latter, you were certain youâd kill him.
your phone rings in your hands and you hurriedly pick up, expecting to hear your best friends deep voice scrambling with apologies.
âjisuââ
ââŠhoney? where are you? mrs. park just called to say that jisungâs gone missingâŠâ
your life hasnât been the same ever since. you never heard a peep from the boyâand even after a whole year of you texting his number, someone else eventually answered, regretfully telling you that they werenât jisung, but an older lady named kira.
which was a weird experience, but your parents were glad that you had finally let go of texting your missing best friend. they knew you would take the news the hardest. you were head over heels for this boy, and seeing as how you both were attached at the hipâthey were worried for how youâd cope.
and theyâve settled that you making ducks out of snow once a year seems to be the perfect way to cope for you.
âthis is stupid,â you mutter, more to yourself than anyone in particular. you gaze at the perfectly lined up ducks. eighteen of them.
thatâs how old jisung wouldâve turned that year.
when your fingers start to feel numb, the cold air seeming to get even colder, you decide that maybe itâs time to head back inside. you glance one more time over at the eighteen ducks sitting neatly at the front of your porch. a small flicker in you hopes that one day, they somehow bring jisung home.
â
he didnât know what he was doing here. after all that happened in the north pole, he just let the wind take him anywhere. his mind was too busy to figure out where heâd stay before returning back to the north pole when everything was sorted out in his mind and heart.
and thatâs how he finds himself standing next to you. his hood is up and his tight grip on his staff causes you to let out a small shiver.
he can tell youâre feeling somber, your eyes werenât as happy as they were when he first saw you and your gaze seemed to linger at nothing in particular.
he watches as you purse your lips before slowly heading back inside. jisung didnât know who you were, but being next to you warmed his freezing heart with a sense of familiarity he hasnât felt in so long.
âeighteenâŠâ his soft mumble is heard by no one, he had counted the ducks you had lined up by your house.
he wonders why you had decided to make that many, but a small smile tugs at his lips when he uses his magic to create a small pile of snow around the ducks, forming a small fence around all of them.
jisungâs torn from his thoughts when he hears soft chatter coming from the inside of your house, his curiosity getting the better of him while he stands to steal a glance from your window.
âhey hon. do you want to pay jisung a visit?â an older man looks directly at you as he fixes his tie, your slightly smaller stature stands in front of him, clad in the same outfit he saw you standing in earlierâminus a set of blue gloves.
the mention of his name has him attempting to hear your conversation better. he strains to hear over his racing heart, but he hears you reply with a hesitant âsureâ. even from where heâs standing, he can see the fear in your eyes. he doesnât exactly know why they glisten with unshed tears and he looks away as your family gathers around you in a group hug. he felt like he was intruding an important family moment.
heâs not sure how much time has passed with how he was trying hard not to eavesdrop, but your front door suddenly nudges open, surprising him almost enough to drop his staff.
âyou made a little fence?â jisung hears the grin on your momâs face and he turns to you to find you staring at his little creation around your ducks.
your face is turned down into a frown, your hands clad in the blue gloves you were wearing the first time he saw you that day. âi didnât.â
this seems to silence your parents as they watch you with curious eyes. you looked conflicted, almost as if you didnât know whether or not you liked the fact that someone had added to your small creation.
âwell⊠then maybe jack frost did it?â
jisung perks up at the mention of his name, (well his alter egoâs name, you could say) his jaw slacks at the playful tone your father had taken when talking about him. but your eyes immediately roll into the back of your head.
âyeah, whatever.â the last word was mumbled underneath your breath, but he heard it loud and clear. he couldnât understand why you not believing in him hurt the most, even when he knew you didnât just by the fact that you couldnât see him.
he watches dejectedly as your family gets into your car, you taking the back seat while your family sit in the front. your head bobs to music that was probably playing on the radio, and all he could do is stand on your porch as your dad drives you all away.
â
âlet me see my memories.â the tone heâs chosen to use wasnât gentle, but it wasnât harsh either.
jisungâs staring straight at the tooth fairy, who was in the middle of sorting out a problem with her baby fairies. she stills and purses her lips, looking at the teenage boy with red-rimmed eyes.
heâs had enough of the lies, tired of the way the rest of the guardians seem to think they can decide what he wants to do with who he is and the past that holds the answers to everything he had questioned the man in the moon ever since he had become jack frost.
âwhat happened, jisung?â her concern is waved off by the cold boy, the grip on his staff was tightening. âplease, toothiana.â
his low whisper gets to her. he never calls her by her name unless things get too difiicult, for either of them. she could hear the pain hidden by his tough front, but she could tell that the boy was having an incredibly hard time.
âyouâve kept this from me for long enough. iâm tired of having to⊠look towards the moon and get no response every night for something i know is right here with youâ!â his voice strains from the pain heâs trying so hard to hide from her.
the fairy sighsâconflicted by the care she holds for him and her duty to protect him. ââŠokay.â
jisung was fairly surprised by how quickly she agreed to him, but she wasnât sure if she should even be allowing him to see his memories, strict rules from north was taunting her mind. but, with one more glance at jisung, she knows that she just doesnât have the heart to keep it from him.
he watches silently as she flutters over to the hidden cases of teeth she had collected over the years, her fingers skimming over thousands of tabsâone shiny case slipping out into her awaiting hands.
âjust⊠weâre here for you, jisung. okay? if you need usâŠâ the fairy gently places the gold tube in his hands before leaving him alone to discover the memories lying in the gold case.
he wasnât sure about what was preventing him from diving head first into his memories, but his gaze remained trained on the small image on the side of the tube, one that looked like his younger self. the silence he was left with seemed to scream at him to touch the white surface.
âsung! jisung, where are you?!
he wanted to call out to the voice, tell them that he was right here and that he was doing just fine. he could hear the panic in the unfamiliar voice despite it being muffled and quiet.
being in this moment scared him more than anything ever hasâhe could have his memories in his hands right now and they were all at the touch of his fingertips. but the idea of it all overwhelmed him, pushing his heart to rage against his chest.
jisung⊠where did you go?
âiâm right here.â his whisper is heard by no one.
â
âthatâs so stupid!â the room is filled with giggles as the boy attempts to flip whipped cream up from the back of his hand and into his mouth.
with a cute frown, âit is not! and itâs so possible.â jisung rolls his eyes, slapping his wrist and missing for the hundredth time.
this only causes the two kids to fall into even more fits of giggles, the whipped cream landing on the young boyâs forehead. he looked incredibly silly, but nothing could have prepared the younger girl for how adorable he looked, despite it all.
âshouldnât you get going? or do you wanna stay over tonight?â she breaks the comfortable atmosphere with the tough question. the girl knew how sensitive the topic of jisungâs parents were, which is why she attempted to avoid it as much as she could. but it was late, and if he didnât go home now, he would for sure be in trouble.
his deep sigh is what meets the soft question, and though he tries to hide behind a smile, she knew he was hurting.
âis it okay if i stay over?â
she never asks why, but thatâs why jisungâs so lucky to have the girl sitting in front of him. his question is met by a soft nod from her, eliciting his lips to tug into a small smile.
âyouâre the best.â
the sliver of a memory soothes one of jisungâs many curiosities. the small gold case heâs holding opened up one of his many lost memories, one that he knows was treasured by his younger self. the sight of the faceless girl haunts his mind as he imagines the memory over and over again. who was she to him?
âdamn it,â jisung huffs when he feels frustrated tears sting at his eyes.
he could tell by the one memory he allowed himself to seeâthat the reason the guardians were hiding this from him, was because of the difficult past he was dealt with. he may not remember any of it, but slowly it was piecing itself together.
â
you hated this day. and with every year that passes, youâd wonder if it would ever get easier, but it never does. seeing your best friendâs name engraved on a tombstone was never an easy sight. it never failed to bring you to tears.
your parents would always carry a new boquet of hyacinths, jisungâs favorite flower according to you. the three of you would arrive at his grave, a different boquet already sitting at the feet of his tombstone.
you had your hands in your pockets and your gaze settled on the floorâso you didnât notice a certain white haired boy who had settled himself on your porch.
âwoah. what the hell?!â your loud voice seems to go ignored by your parents as they head into your house. your heart was racing at the sight of the unknown boy who seemed just as startled as you were.
jisungâs eyes are blown wide as he stares back at you, ây-you can see meâŠ?â
youâre clutching at your jacket as you stare at him, bewildered. what the hell?
âyes i can see you, y-you freak! who the hell are you?!â
he stumbles as he picks up his staff, the hood resting on his head falls as he slowly steps off your porch. âshh, dude. you have to be quiet.â
jisung doesnât know what heâs doing. he came here to get some piece of mindâand when your car came rolling up your driveway, he wasnât expecting you to see him.
âyou expect me to be quiet when youâre just mmfâ!â
both of you are surprised when jisung surges forward and covers your mouth with his hand. youâre stunned at his action, his palm feeling cold as ice against your skin.
âno one else sees me. i donât know why you do, though. so you have to shut up.â heâs quiet now, his eyes turning to your front door, trying to see if your parents were going to come out at any moment.
âwho the hell are you?â your voice is slightly calm now, the boy stands sheepishly in front of you. his silence gives you a moment to look him over, a ridiculous wooden staff is sitting between his fingersâa blue hoodie clads his skinny figure and his feet were bare against the white snow covering your front yard.
âiâmâuh⊠jack..?â he watches, amused at how you seem to stare at him with disbelief.
âjack?â you whisper, your jaw unclenches as he nods at your question. an easy smile dancing on his lips.
he honestly has no idea what heâs doing. but he does know that heâs enjoying it.
âyeah! jack frost, ever heard of me?â he smiles lazily. it wasnât everyday that he could introduce himself as the fairytale that he seems to have become over the past for years to anyone.
your frown is instant. jisung watched as your eyes danced across his face, taking in the familiarity of his older, colder features.
he expected anything. maybe a jaw drop. maybe a gasp, maybe even an eyebrow raise with some questioning as to whether or not he was serious.
what he didnât expect though, was for your eyes to widen before your body crumpled to the ground.
â
the warmth of your bed is the first thing that you register when you wake from the strangest dream.
youâd seen jisung. you were sure of it. his hair was as white as snow, and he stared at you with not one hint of recognitionâjust mischief and a little disbelief at the idea of you seeing him.
âjackâŠâ your murmur disturbed the silence of your bedroom. sitting up, your blanket fell off your shoulders. you were still in the clothes you wore to jisungâs grave, and the moonlight spilling into your room was the only source of light that illuminated your space.
confusion and sadness wraps itself around your heart as you try and shake the feelings that your dream had welcomed back into your head.
unbeknownst to you, frost begins to form on the corners of your closed window as a certain white haired boy perches himself on your roofâhis grip on his wooden staff tightening at your quiet whisper.
he didnât know who you wereânot up until a few days ago, anyway. so why did a flash of recognition cross your eyes before you tumbled to the ground?
was that his confirmation that he was the jisung you were talking about? but how?
the jisung you knew was dead. and he was very much alive. albeit, invisible to everyone, but alive. except he wasnât invisible to you.
the cold boyâs eyes wandered up to the moon, glaring at it as it seemed to be taunting him from above. how could he possibly have more questions now that heâd watched one memory from his stupid golden tooth capsule?
with one last huff (and a glance towards your now peaceful figure tucked away underneath your blanket), jisung standsâand lets the air take him far away from your house.
â
âjisung! donât go so fast!â
giggles erupt into the air as jisung grips onto the girlâs arms, leading them both across the frozen water.
his smile was bright enough to light up the darkest of nights, watching as the girl struggles to balance herself on the slipper surface.
âyouâre alright.â he murmurs to her, grinning as a splash of pink settles on her cheeks.
the girl shakes her head, her grip on his arms tightening as she feels their speed start to pick up once more. âi swear to God, park jisung, if we fallââ
âdonât worry, darling. i wonât ever let you fall.â
âjack?â the tooth fairyâs tentative voice cracks jisungâs concentration as he shuts the golden capsule shut.
she eyes him, watching as he buries what he felt by what he saw deep beneath his surface. he clears his throat before shoving the capsule into the pocket that rests on the bottom of his sweater.
âwhatâs up?â
her wings flutter furiously as she flies herself over to him. âare⊠are you alright?â
and the concern in her voiceâpisses him off.
âyeah. never better.â jisung smiles at her, allowing his frustration to coat his words and drip off them.
he watches as she flinches at the harshness of his words, her mouth forming a slight pout, and guilt tugs at his heart. he sighs, trying to shake the frustration from his mind.
âiâm sorry.â he murmurs, turning away from the fairy to reel back his emotions. technically, it wasnât her fault that the memory of the girl was flawed. so it wasnât fair to the tooth fairy that he was taking his frustrations out on her.
she smiles slightly, reaching up to fluff his hair.
âiâm sorry too, jack.â
their eyes meet and he feels his resolve cracking just a tiny bit. he had always loved the tooth fairy in a sort of, sisterly kind of way, even when sheâd piss him off a lot of the time.
she bites her lip, her wings fluttering as she brings herself back down to her feet.
ââŠdid opening your tooth box help with anything?â she asks hesitantly, unsure of how heâd taken the weight of his past.
jisung swallows. his grip on the golden capsule tightens as he avoids her gaze.
âit⊠it actually raised a lot more questions.â he sighs, his jaw clenching as the image of the faceless girl forces its way back into his mind.
the tooth fairy frowns, watching him closely. âhow so?â
âi havenât actually fully opened it. i could only let myself see two memories,â she nods, listening intently as jisung runs his hand through his hair.
he bites his lip, a frown making its way onto his face before he continued, âboth of which had this girl. we were inseparable, apparently. but in both memories her face is blurred.â
the green fairy sighs. âthat does happen to some tooth boxes. either the memories are tampered with time, or they were simply memories that the child wanted to block out. but you did say that you and the girl seemed close? i wonder why younger you had wanted to block those memories outâŠâ
jisungâs eyes fall closed, frustration swirling beneath his chest once more.
heâd taken his tooth box in hopes for answers. and yet here he stands, more and more questions filling his mindâand suffocating his peace.
â
âyouâre here.â
your voice came out breathless, though you didnât mean for it to be. jisung was sitting on your fence, snowflakes flying from his fingertips and his staff at his feet.
his eyes darted to your figure and his lips turned up into a grin. âhello to you too!â
your heart stutters in your chest. so it wasnât a dream.
jisung grins when he hops off your fence to make his way to you. his staff hanging comfortably from his hands. there was a sense of familiarity that drew him to you, a weird feeling that oddlyâreminded him of home.
âyou, good lady, happen to be one of the only humans that can see me.â jisung smiles wider when he reaches to stand right in front of you. your neck cranes to look into his eyes, and it satisfies a small part of him that he chooses to ignore.
âgood lady?â jisung laughs as you cringe, pushing the hood off his head.
âyâknow, like good sir?â you roll your eyes as jisung nods his head to the pile of snow in front of the two of you.
your eyes widen as they finally register the sheer amount of ducks that have been spread across your yard. âwhat⊠the?â
jisung laughs and scratches the back of his neck as he watches your reaction carefully.
âi saw you that day. you were making ducks with that contraption of yoursâfigured itâd be a lot faster if i made them for you.â
youâre still staring at the snow ducks, all in different shapes and sizes, your voice having evaded your throat.
jisung shuffles on his feet, unsure of what to make of your silence. he flicks his fingers at the ducks and watches happily as they come to life.
âthis is⊠this is awesome, jack.â
he stiffens at the name, but smiles nonetheless. you step forward to crouch closer to the ducks, laughing when some of them waddle around you. jisung grins, flicking his wrist to create even more magic with the snow that shoots from his fingertips.
your giggles fill the air as he makes snow glide through the air, before bursting into tiny snowflakes that glitter as the sunshine hits them.
jisung?
the oddly familiar voice distracts the white haired boy, his fingers freezing in the air. youâre still distracted by the snowflakes when jisung feels for the tooth box in his pocket.
âsung, whereâd you go?
âi-i gotta go. i forgot i had some place to be.â he murmurs, tugging the hood of his hoodie back over his head.
your eyes linger on the little ducks all over your feet, âalright. when will iâ?â
when you finally tear your eyes away from the snow, the icy boy is nowhere to be found.
â
i⊠iâm right here.
it was weirdly quiet. jisung felt like he was floating, which was definitely not something he was used to. his eyes were closed, and he couldnât seem to peel them open.
âpark jisung, i swear if youâre hiding just to scare me, iâm going to kill you!â
y/n. where were you? your voice sounded so far away.
it was cold. jisung felt the bite of the freezing winter air, but he didnât feel the need to care at all.
ââsung, seriouslyâŠâ you sounded annoyed. but he was right there.
iâm here!
jisung was convinced that he was trapped in a dream. he couldnât bring himself to open his eyes, or to reply to your annoyed cries.
then he heard your phone ringâa heartbroken gasp tumbles past your lips, and hurried footsteps fade farther and farther away from him.
y/n! iâm right hereâŠ
ây/n.â jisung gasps, the tooth box slipping from his fingers. the truth slams into him and brings him to his knees.
your last memory of him, was that heâd ditched you. the revelation wraps around his heart as tears push their way past his strong exterior.
for years he had longed to know who he had been before the man in the moon chose him to be a guardian. for years he longed for a familyâone that knew him as park jisung and not as jack frost.
and now, the answers to his prayers were right there, within his reach.
âjack?â northâs deep voice brings him out of the haze he was drowning in.
tears were blurring his vision, but he stood, grabbing his staff before wiping them off with his sleeve. âi⊠i have a family.â
jisungâs soft voice brings a small smile onto northâs face. the rest of the guardians had been just that all their lives, guardians. jackâjisung, had been the only one who was turned into a guardian after a tragedy that had struck his life.
north had hoped to keep him in the dark for as long as possible, though he knew it was never going to end up that way. when jisung was first introduced as a guardian, he had been so cluelessâso accepting of his fate as jack frost, that north had felt itâd been best to allow him to learn to love himself as jack frost, even if that meant not knowing who he was as park jisung.
he had, obviously, been wrong.
âgo, ji.â
jisungâs sobs (embarrassingly) get louder, surging forward to wrap his arms around north.
âthank you, north.â
â
something told jisung that you werenât home. even though he passed by, eyeing the car that sat in your driveway.
the cold winter air was leading him some place else. some place closer to the girl that seemed to feel more and more like home.
âi miss you, âsung.â
your lonely whisper just manages to reach his ears as he slows to a stop a couple feet away from where you sat.
his eyes wandered past your seated figure, slowly taking in where the wind had taken him.
a frozen over lake. one that he knew quite well.
it was cold. jisung felt the bite of the freezing winter air, but he didnât feel the need to care at all.
âwhereâd you go, âsung?â your heartbroken whisper echoes through the empty lake once more, and urges jisung to move closer to you.
âiâm right here.â
youâre startledâyour head whips towards his figure before youâre up on your feet. youâre frowning at him, but all he can do is smile warmly back at you.
âjack? what are youââ
he moves forward, flicking his wrists to form makeshift ice skates on your feet. jisung has no idea what heâs doing, but he moves swiftly and hurriedlyâtransferring the two of you onto the frozen lake.
âjack!â your gasp is full of fear, your hands gripping onto his forearms as jisung glides the two of you across the frozen water.
âiâm so sorry it took me this long to remember you. to remember us, y/n.â jisungâs murmur is quiet, the cold winter air suddenly heats as your eyes find his despite the fear of falling.
it takes a second, but the truth hits you just as hard as it had him a couple hours before.
park jisung was in front of you. his brown hair hair was swapped with strands that were white as snow, his eyes were blue instead of their usual dark brown and his feet were bareâbut there was no doubting the sweet smile that etched itself onto his lips and the dimples that came with it.
ââŠâsung?â
your whisper is breathless once more, and the smile that curves jisungâs lips could not be sweeter.
in which park jisung loved snow ducks, but he loved you more.
a/n: merry christmas to those who celebrate! iâm back after almost a year (LOL) to drop this jack frost!jisung au thatâs been rotting in my drafts ever since heâd dyed his hair for glimo T_T
warning/s: f!reader x jisung, mild profanity (like one or two), not proofread, fluff & angst if you squint, jisung and reader are CLUELESS, insinuations of a rough past, jisung as jack frost (because this is a warning in and of itself)
jisung couldnât have imagined getting used to a life where no one knew his name. a life where everyone seemed to walk right through his body even when he was standing directly in front of them, his dark blue jacket hanging loosely on his bodyâbare feet feeling numb despite the cold concrete beneath them.
alas, he didnât really have a choice. waking up to the man in the moon telling him that he was special? thatâs what thrusted him into his new lifestyle.
âjack frost?â the curious tone of a short brown haired girl tore his attention away from his dwindling thoughtsâshe was staring cluelessly up at her father, who watched her from the familyâs porch.
jisung huffs, a small smirk already pulling at his lips. heâs heard this conversation a thousand times, but he was always curious as to how each parent would spin the story and he in-turn was pleasantly surprised at the amount of different takes each parent would tell their kids.
the man clears his throat before repeating the same old folklore the people of the city had made up about the white haired boy, yet with a new-found twist. âif you stay outside too long, jack frost will come and freeze you up!â
this makes the teenage boy chuckle, his staff hanging freely on his fingertips. sure, he can cause a blizzard with just the touch of them thanks to the man in the moon, but even he wouldnât do that to a little girl. though, his sharp eyes watches her gasp before she rushes up from her spot in front of their house, the snow beneath her feet crackles as she giggles into her dads arms.
jisung doesnât know what makes his heart freeze, the lonely feeling he gets from the heartwarming family gestureâor the snowstorm he seems to be brewing over the city of pennsylvania.
â
âyou were out again?â
jisung sighs. he didnât want to be sitting through another one of the tooth fairyâs lectures and with this one being his third of the week, he could probably recite her lecture off the top of his head.
her wings were fluttering rapidly as her cheeks tinted pink with how frustrated she was with him. âyou didnât throw snowballs at a childâs head again did you?â
a laugh almost bubbles from his lips. almost.
âthat was one time! and they had fun didnât they?â the boy grins as he twirls the small snowflakes around in the air above his fingers. he watches as she relaxes a tiny bit, her wings still making the slight fluttering noise heâs learned to drown out. the green fairy sighs, tired from having to say the same thing over and over again to the michievous boy standing in front of her with absolutely no care in the world.
âdonât let north find out, okay? heâll rip your head right off.â she ends her lecture short with a small murmur, which catches jisung off guard. her bright smile flashes at him before sheâs whisked away by one of her many fairies.
being a guardian wasnât always easy, he was a teenage boy for godâs sake and having to deal with everything a boy his age does on top of having to be a ârole modelâ for millions of kids out in the worldâmeant finding time for him to just be himself, the teenage jisung park, was a scarce opportunity. he knew the tooth fairy only meant well, they all did, even the easter bunny. but he felt like they didnât understand. they didnât know about the grip his past had on him, a past that he isnât even fully aware about yet. they didnât know that sometimes all he yearns for are answers to who he really is.
but despite all this, he picks up his staff with his gaze trailing over the hundreds of elves scattered across the north pole.
and the white haired boy is goneâwith only a small snowflake left in his place.
â
over the years, jisungâs learned to ignore the ache in his chest that longs to search for the answers to the questions swirling in his head. instead, he enjoys walking in the silence of the nightâthe glow from sandmanâs magic lights his path as he prods at the floor beneath him.
he welcomes the cold, the one thing that has brought him comfort over these last few years. watching the ice create beautiful shapes on the pavement strangely relaxes him as he hums a soft song he doesnât remember, though his heart seems to recognize the familiar tune.
âgreat job, sandy.â jisung whispers into the dead of the night, watching proudly as the yellow sand sifts into each house he passes by.
the boy lifts himself into the air with little to no effort. he lets a chuckle slip past his lips as his fingers feel through the sandmanâs âdream trailâ as he likes to call it. jisung has always admired him, his power to soothe children and provide them with heart warming dreams to keep their sleep from being distrupted.
on nights like this, cold and lonely ones, he misses his home deeply. he knows it sounds ridiculous, to miss a home he doesnât even remember, but he dreams that he had a family. one that would snuggle under one blanket on nights like this oneâone that would wake each other up on christmas day because north or âsantaâ had decided to pay them a visit.
heâs snapped out of his daydream though when he spots you sitting in front of your house. jisungâs never been one to keep track of time, but judging off the dream trail, he was pretty sure that it was late enough for no one to be out. you seemed to be busying yourself with something in the snow, so he takes this as his sign to drop down from the wires heâd been standing on previously.
âducks?â heâs confused when he sees enough ducks made of snow sitting in a straight line, all of them nearly identical to each other.
his curious mind pushes him to wander towards your hunched figure, but something in him makes him cautiousâalmost like approaching you was a mistake.
jisung chooses to ignore the unfamiliar feeling, his feet making no marks in the snow as he squats next to you, his staff standing tall next to both of your figures.
his eyes linger on your face, the top of your head was covered in a black beanie with a pom pom sitting at the top. you were clad in your pajamas and a jacketâan outfit that kind of matched hisâyour cheeks and nose were both stained pink from the cold, but your eyes shimmered in happiness as you continued to make another duck.
âyou kind of look like a ryan to me..?â heâs startled by the warmth in your voice, followed by the soft giggles that left your lips.
he could tell you were his age, something he oddly never encounters. heâs used to seeing toddlers running and playing around in the snow, so the weird feeling of familiarity settles in his chest as you put down the duck-making-contraption to blow some warmth into your hands.
you donât seem to notice him, not like he expected you to, but itâs when you whisper something into the cold air that has him rooted to his place on the ground.
âi hope you still like ducks, âsung. i made too many for you to not like them anymore! happy birthday, wherever you are.â
and you disappear back into your house after picking up your contraption.
â
âhow would she even know who i am?! i sure as hell donât know who she is!â jisung was close to ripping the frosty white hair off his head and his feet were burning the solid floor of the north pole from the amount of pacing heâs been doing since he had gotten there an hour before all the elves had woken up and gotten to work.
northâs jaw ticks as he sighs for what felt like the millionth time that morning. âfor the last time, jack, she probably means someone else! itâs not like youâre the only âjisungâ in the world.â
the rest of the guardians bob their heads in aggreement, soft murmurs of their own comments all mesh into oneâbut jisung decides against them all. he felt a physical pull towards you, the shape of your face, the way you spoke and the way your eyes shone in the moonlight⊠all those things felt so familiar, but he was driving himself crazy as to why it all felt the way it did.
âiâm telling you. she knows who i am!â
he was frustrated. the feeling of familiarity in his chest was addicting and so very comforting. he wanted to know who you wereâhow you knew himâwell, he was so sure that he was the ââsungâ you were talking about.
his heart was racing so loudly that it was pumping in his ears. the questions that were screaming at him made his head spin. it wasnât like the helplessness he felt when he couldnât remember his past. this⊠this was worldâs apart from that.
despite it all, jisungâs pacing seems to slow to a stop before his eyes narrow into slits. the silence of a certain green fairy was enough for his mind to swirl with a couple thousand more questions.
his gaze hardens like the ice heâs able to create with his fingertips, âyou know something.â
the phrase comes out bitter and demanding. something the younger boy has never used especially around any of the guardians. he watches as the fairyâs eyes dart to everything in the room except him, explanations spilling from her mouth.
âno i donât! who said i did? was it one of my own? because thereâs absolutely noooo way i know anything! nothing! nada! zerââ
the tooth fairy bites her lip as she watches jisungâs grip tighten on the wooden staff.
âpark,â northâs voice is low, the warning clear in his tone. he loves jisung like he would love his own son if he had one, but he would not and will not tolerate him hurting any of the other guardians.
not like he could ever do that.
âyouâre going to tell me what you know right now.â the frustration is evident in his voice. he was tired of being left in the darkâforced to fend for himself when thatâs all heâs been doing for so long. too long.
the fairy fiddles with her fingers, her wings flapping at an even faster rate behind her. âi-i donât know much. butâi have your teeth. f-from when you were just jisung park.â
the world seems to slow to a stop. jisungâs read about it happening in some books he found in the nooks and crannies of the north pole, but he hadnât expected it to feel like it did.
he knew what that meant. she had once told him that all the teeth she had collected from each kid held a memory from their lives. the collection of memories all locked in the gold tube he used to gaze at with so much curiosity, the memories unlocked by one touch of his finger.
the silence was suffocating himâand suddenly he couldnât breathe.
âjisung. you have to calm down.â
the worried gaze of the easter bunny somewhat helps him, though his rapid breaths were starting to be difficult on his lungs. hearing how something so crucial to figuring out his past, to figuring out who he is, was kept from him by someone heâs kept so close for the past few years seemed to be crushing him.
ây-you⊠you had the answers to my questions all this time⊠and you didnât⊠you didnât tell me?â heartbreak drips from his tone. all those nights he spent trying to shut out the loud thoughts in his headâall of which couldâve been solved if the tooth fairy had just told him what she just did.
âwe wanted you to embrace who you are now, jack. youâre a guardian now, it doesnât matter what happened in the pastââ
âthatâs not for you to decide!â his rough shout startles everyone in the room, even some of the elves. his eyes sting from the unshed tears heâs determined to keep from rolling down his cheeks.
âit wasnât your right to take that from me. those are my memories, my past, my life!â jisungâs breathing hard now. the intensity of how painful this secret was overbearing. and the fact that everyone knew? not just the tooth fairy? thatâs what hurt him most.
he scoffs, the grip on his staff tightening as he lifts his hood up above his head.
âi canât believe any of you.â he ignores the way they all scramble after him, pleading for him to calm downâhe needed to be somewhere else, anywhere else but in a room full of people who just shattered his already bruised heart.
â
you couldnât stand the cold. you prefer to be out on a sunny and warm day than to play in the snow while simultaneously freezing to death.
so why were you standing out in the cold?
you wished you could say that you didnât know. that somehow, the cold just brought you some source of comfort and that you couldnât pinpoint the exact reason as to why. but you did know. you know that youâre out here because of a certain boy and how he always loved the snow. how he knew how to handle himself on ice, even when it was freezing and his teeth were chattering.
ây/n? come back inside, dear. itâs freezing!â the voice of your mother pulls you from your everlasting thoughts of the boy you loved, as it almost always did.
you turn to look at her and you see the pity in her eyes. you know she can tell whenever you start to get out of sorts over your best friend who went missing four years ago now. sheâs seen the ducks left out, just like you do for every birthday thatâs passed without him.
âiâll be in in a minute, mom.â you smile, a genuine one, soaking in the cold for a little bit more when you hear your front door gently closing after a soft reply from your mom.
you hadnât known what happened to your best friend, and he never got the justice you felt he deserved. but him disappearing without a trace seemed to scream ârunaway!â to the police, so his case was dropped, much to yours and your familyâs devastation. you still remember the day you found out he disappeared like it was yesterday.
âwhereâs this boy at?â your irritated sigh is acxompanied with a white puff from your mouth, the cold atmosphere made your breath visible as your teeth chattered and your fingers trembled.
despite it all, you were there. waiting in front of the fountain of your town like you always do when winter starts.
âhello! this is jisung, i donât seem to have heard your call orâshit y/n cut that out! sorry uh⊠leave your message at the beep, okay bye!â
âdamn it.â the frustration was settling in, your eyes gazing at the digital numbers taunting you on your phone. itâs almost been an hour since you were supposed to meet jisung hereâeither he had forgotten your plans, or he simply liked to torture you because he knew how much you hated the coldâand if it was the latter, you were certain youâd kill him.
your phone rings in your hands and you hurriedly pick up, expecting to hear your best friends deep voice scrambling with apologies.
âjisuââ
ââŠhoney? where are you? mrs. park just called to say that jisungâs gone missingâŠâ
your life hasnât been the same ever since. you never heard a peep from the boyâand even after a whole year of you texting his number, someone else eventually answered, regretfully telling you that they werenât jisung, but an older lady named kira.
which was a weird experience, but your parents were glad that you had finally let go of texting your missing best friend. they knew you would take the news the hardest. you were head over heels for this boy, and seeing as how you both were attached at the hipâthey were worried for how youâd cope.
and theyâve settled that you making ducks out of snow once a year seems to be the perfect way to cope for you.
âthis is stupid,â you mutter, more to yourself than anyone in particular. you gaze at the perfectly lined up ducks. eighteen of them.
thatâs how old jisung wouldâve turned that year.
when your fingers start to feel numb, the cold air seeming to get even colder, you decide that maybe itâs time to head back inside. you glance one more time over at the eighteen ducks sitting neatly at the front of your porch. a small flicker in you hopes that one day, they somehow bring jisung home.
â
he didnât know what he was doing here. after all that happened in the north pole, he just let the wind take him anywhere. his mind was too busy to figure out where heâd stay before returning back to the north pole when everything was sorted out in his mind and heart.
and thatâs how he finds himself standing next to you. his hood is up and his tight grip on his staff causes you to let out a small shiver.
he can tell youâre feeling somber, your eyes werenât as happy as they were when he first saw you and your gaze seemed to linger at nothing in particular.
he watches as you purse your lips before slowly heading back inside. jisung didnât know who you were, but being next to you warmed his freezing heart with a sense of familiarity he hasnât felt in so long.
âeighteenâŠâ his soft mumble is heard by no one, he had counted the ducks you had lined up by your house.
he wonders why you had decided to make that many, but a small smile tugs at his lips when he uses his magic to create a small pile of snow around the ducks, forming a small fence around all of them.
jisungâs torn from his thoughts when he hears soft chatter coming from the inside of your house, his curiosity getting the better of him while he stands to steal a glance from your window.
âhey hon. do you want to pay jisung a visit?â an older man looks directly at you as he fixes his tie, your slightly smaller stature stands in front of him, clad in the same outfit he saw you standing in earlierâminus a set of blue gloves.
the mention of his name has him attempting to hear your conversation better. he strains to hear over his racing heart, but he hears you reply with a hesitant âsureâ. even from where heâs standing, he can see the fear in your eyes. he doesnât exactly know why they glisten with unshed tears and he looks away as your family gathers around you in a group hug. he felt like he was intruding an important family moment.
heâs not sure how much time has passed with how he was trying hard not to eavesdrop, but your front door suddenly nudges open, surprising him almost enough to drop his staff.
âyou made a little fence?â jisung hears the grin on your momâs face and he turns to you to find you staring at his little creation around your ducks.
your face is turned down into a frown, your hands clad in the blue gloves you were wearing the first time he saw you that day. âi didnât.â
this seems to silence your parents as they watch you with curious eyes. you looked conflicted, almost as if you didnât know whether or not you liked the fact that someone had added to your small creation.
âwell⊠then maybe jack frost did it?â
jisung perks up at the mention of his name, (well his alter egoâs name, you could say) his jaw slacks at the playful tone your father had taken when talking about him. but your eyes immediately roll into the back of your head.
âyeah, whatever.â the last word was mumbled underneath your breath, but he heard it loud and clear. he couldnât understand why you not believing in him hurt the most, even when he knew you didnât just by the fact that you couldnât see him.
he watches dejectedly as your family gets into your car, you taking the back seat while your family sit in the front. your head bobs to music that was probably playing on the radio, and all he could do is stand on your porch as your dad drives you all away.
â
âlet me see my memories.â the tone heâs chosen to use wasnât gentle, but it wasnât harsh either.
jisungâs staring straight at the tooth fairy, who was in the middle of sorting out a problem with her baby fairies. she stills and purses her lips, looking at the teenage boy with red-rimmed eyes.
heâs had enough of the lies, tired of the way the rest of the guardians seem to think they can decide what he wants to do with who he is and the past that holds the answers to everything he had questioned the man in the moon ever since he had become jack frost.
âwhat happened, jisung?â her concern is waved off by the cold boy, the grip on his staff was tightening. âplease, toothiana.â
his low whisper gets to her. he never calls her by her name unless things get too difiicult, for either of them. she could hear the pain hidden by his tough front, but she could tell that the boy was having an incredibly hard time.
âyouâve kept this from me for long enough. iâm tired of having to⊠look towards the moon and get no response every night for something i know is right here with youâ!â his voice strains from the pain heâs trying so hard to hide from her.
the fairy sighsâconflicted by the care she holds for him and her duty to protect him. ââŠokay.â
jisung was fairly surprised by how quickly she agreed to him, but she wasnât sure if she should even be allowing him to see his memories, strict rules from north was taunting her mind. but, with one more glance at jisung, she knows that she just doesnât have the heart to keep it from him.
he watches silently as she flutters over to the hidden cases of teeth she had collected over the years, her fingers skimming over thousands of tabsâone shiny case slipping out into her awaiting hands.
âjust⊠weâre here for you, jisung. okay? if you need usâŠâ the fairy gently places the gold tube in his hands before leaving him alone to discover the memories lying in the gold case.
he wasnât sure about what was preventing him from diving head first into his memories, but his gaze remained trained on the small image on the side of the tube, one that looked like his younger self. the silence he was left with seemed to scream at him to touch the white surface.
âsung! jisung, where are you?!
he wanted to call out to the voice, tell them that he was right here and that he was doing just fine. he could hear the panic in the unfamiliar voice despite it being muffled and quiet.
being in this moment scared him more than anything ever hasâhe could have his memories in his hands right now and they were all at the touch of his fingertips. but the idea of it all overwhelmed him, pushing his heart to rage against his chest.
jisung⊠where did you go?
âiâm right here.â his whisper is heard by no one.
â
âthatâs so stupid!â the room is filled with giggles as the boy attempts to flip whipped cream up from the back of his hand and into his mouth.
with a cute frown, âit is not! and itâs so possible.â jisung rolls his eyes, slapping his wrist and missing for the hundredth time.
this only causes the two kids to fall into even more fits of giggles, the whipped cream landing on the young boyâs forehead. he looked incredibly silly, but nothing could have prepared the younger girl for how adorable he looked, despite it all.
âshouldnât you get going? or do you wanna stay over tonight?â she breaks the comfortable atmosphere with the tough question. the girl knew how sensitive the topic of jisungâs parents were, which is why she attempted to avoid it as much as she could. but it was late, and if he didnât go home now, he would for sure be in trouble.
his deep sigh is what meets the soft question, and though he tries to hide behind a smile, she knew he was hurting.
âis it okay if i stay over?â
she never asks why, but thatâs why jisungâs so lucky to have the girl sitting in front of him. his question is met by a soft nod from her, eliciting his lips to tug into a small smile.
âyouâre the best.â
the sliver of a memory soothes one of jisungâs many curiosities. the small gold case heâs holding opened up one of his many lost memories, one that he knows was treasured by his younger self. the sight of the faceless girl haunts his mind as he imagines the memory over and over again. who was she to him?
âdamn it,â jisung huffs when he feels frustrated tears sting at his eyes.
he could tell by the one memory he allowed himself to seeâthat the reason the guardians were hiding this from him, was because of the difficult past he was dealt with. he may not remember any of it, but slowly it was piecing itself together.
â
you hated this day. and with every year that passes, youâd wonder if it would ever get easier, but it never does. seeing your best friendâs name engraved on a tombstone was never an easy sight. it never failed to bring you to tears.
your parents would always carry a new boquet of hyacinths, jisungâs favorite flower according to you. the three of you would arrive at his grave, a different boquet already sitting at the feet of his tombstone.
you had your hands in your pockets and your gaze settled on the floorâso you didnât notice a certain white haired boy who had settled himself on your porch.
âwoah. what the hell?!â your loud voice seems to go ignored by your parents as they head into your house. your heart was racing at the sight of the unknown boy who seemed just as startled as you were.
jisungâs eyes are blown wide as he stares back at you, ây-you can see meâŠ?â
youâre clutching at your jacket as you stare at him, bewildered. what the hell?
âyes i can see you, y-you freak! who the hell are you?!â
he stumbles as he picks up his staff, the hood resting on his head falls as he slowly steps off your porch. âshh, dude. you have to be quiet.â
jisung doesnât know what heâs doing. he came here to get some piece of mindâand when your car came rolling up your driveway, he wasnât expecting you to see him.
âyou expect me to be quiet when youâre just mmfâ!â
both of you are surprised when jisung surges forward and covers your mouth with his hand. youâre stunned at his action, his palm feeling cold as ice against your skin.
âno one else sees me. i donât know why you do, though. so you have to shut up.â heâs quiet now, his eyes turning to your front door, trying to see if your parents were going to come out at any moment.
âwho the hell are you?â your voice is slightly calm now, the boy stands sheepishly in front of you. his silence gives you a moment to look him over, a ridiculous wooden staff is sitting between his fingersâa blue hoodie clads his skinny figure and his feet were bare against the white snow covering your front yard.
âiâmâuh⊠jack..?â he watches, amused at how you seem to stare at him with disbelief.
âjack?â you whisper, your jaw unclenches as he nods at your question. an easy smile dancing on his lips.
he honestly has no idea what heâs doing. but he does know that heâs enjoying it.
âyeah! jack frost, ever heard of me?â he smiles lazily. it wasnât everyday that he could introduce himself as the fairytale that he seems to have become over the past for years to anyone.
your frown is instant. jisung watched as your eyes danced across his face, taking in the familiarity of his older, colder features.
he expected anything. maybe a jaw drop. maybe a gasp, maybe even an eyebrow raise with some questioning as to whether or not he was serious.
what he didnât expect though, was for your eyes to widen before your body crumpled to the ground.
â
the warmth of your bed is the first thing that you register when you wake from the strangest dream.
youâd seen jisung. you were sure of it. his hair was as white as snow, and he stared at you with not one hint of recognitionâjust mischief and a little disbelief at the idea of you seeing him.
âjackâŠâ your murmur disturbed the silence of your bedroom. sitting up, your blanket fell off your shoulders. you were still in the clothes you wore to jisungâs grave, and the moonlight spilling into your room was the only source of light that illuminated your space.
confusion and sadness wraps itself around your heart as you try and shake the feelings that your dream had welcomed back into your head.
unbeknownst to you, frost begins to form on the corners of your closed window as a certain white haired boy perches himself on your roofâhis grip on his wooden staff tightening at your quiet whisper.
he didnât know who you wereânot up until a few days ago, anyway. so why did a flash of recognition cross your eyes before you tumbled to the ground?
was that his confirmation that he was the jisung you were talking about? but how?
the jisung you knew was dead. and he was very much alive. albeit, invisible to everyone, but alive. except he wasnât invisible to you.
the cold boyâs eyes wandered up to the moon, glaring at it as it seemed to be taunting him from above. how could he possibly have more questions now that heâd watched one memory from his stupid golden tooth capsule?
with one last huff (and a glance towards your now peaceful figure tucked away underneath your blanket), jisung standsâand lets the air take him far away from your house.
â
âjisung! donât go so fast!â
giggles erupt into the air as jisung grips onto the girlâs arms, leading them both across the frozen water.
his smile was bright enough to light up the darkest of nights, watching as the girl struggles to balance herself on the slipper surface.
âyouâre alright.â he murmurs to her, grinning as a splash of pink settles on her cheeks.
the girl shakes her head, her grip on his arms tightening as she feels their speed start to pick up once more. âi swear to God, park jisung, if we fallââ
âdonât worry, darling. i wonât ever let you fall.â
âjack?â the tooth fairyâs tentative voice cracks jisungâs concentration as he shuts the golden capsule shut.
she eyes him, watching as he buries what he felt by what he saw deep beneath his surface. he clears his throat before shoving the capsule into the pocket that rests on the bottom of his sweater.
âwhatâs up?â
her wings flutter furiously as she flies herself over to him. âare⊠are you alright?â
and the concern in her voiceâpisses him off.
âyeah. never better.â jisung smiles at her, allowing his frustration to coat his words and drip off them.
he watches as she flinches at the harshness of his words, her mouth forming a slight pout, and guilt tugs at his heart. he sighs, trying to shake the frustration from his mind.
âiâm sorry.â he murmurs, turning away from the fairy to reel back his emotions. technically, it wasnât her fault that the memory of the girl was flawed. so it wasnât fair to the tooth fairy that he was taking his frustrations out on her.
she smiles slightly, reaching up to fluff his hair.
âiâm sorry too, jack.â
their eyes meet and he feels his resolve cracking just a tiny bit. he had always loved the tooth fairy in a sort of, sisterly kind of way, even when sheâd piss him off a lot of the time.
she bites her lip, her wings fluttering as she brings herself back down to her feet.
ââŠdid opening your tooth box help with anything?â she asks hesitantly, unsure of how heâd taken the weight of his past.
jisung swallows. his grip on the golden capsule tightens as he avoids her gaze.
âit⊠it actually raised a lot more questions.â he sighs, his jaw clenching as the image of the faceless girl forces its way back into his mind.
the tooth fairy frowns, watching him closely. âhow so?â
âi havenât actually fully opened it. i could only let myself see two memories,â she nods, listening intently as jisung runs his hand through his hair.
he bites his lip, a frown making its way onto his face before he continued, âboth of which had this girl. we were inseparable, apparently. but in both memories her face is blurred.â
the green fairy sighs. âthat does happen to some tooth boxes. either the memories are tampered with time, or they were simply memories that the child wanted to block out. but you did say that you and the girl seemed close? i wonder why younger you had wanted to block those memories outâŠâ
jisungâs eyes fall closed, frustration swirling beneath his chest once more.
heâd taken his tooth box in hopes for answers. and yet here he stands, more and more questions filling his mindâand suffocating his peace.
â
âyouâre here.â
your voice came out breathless, though you didnât mean for it to be. jisung was sitting on your fence, snowflakes flying from his fingertips and his staff at his feet.
his eyes darted to your figure and his lips turned up into a grin. âhello to you too!â
your heart stutters in your chest. so it wasnât a dream.
jisung grins when he hops off your fence to make his way to you. his staff hanging comfortably from his hands. there was a sense of familiarity that drew him to you, a weird feeling that oddlyâreminded him of home.
âyou, good lady, happen to be one of the only humans that can see me.â jisung smiles wider when he reaches to stand right in front of you. your neck cranes to look into his eyes, and it satisfies a small part of him that he chooses to ignore.
âgood lady?â jisung laughs as you cringe, pushing the hood off his head.
âyâknow, like good sir?â you roll your eyes as jisung nods his head to the pile of snow in front of the two of you.
your eyes widen as they finally register the sheer amount of ducks that have been spread across your yard. âwhat⊠the?â
jisung laughs and scratches the back of his neck as he watches your reaction carefully.
âi saw you that day. you were making ducks with that contraption of yoursâfigured itâd be a lot faster if i made them for you.â
youâre still staring at the snow ducks, all in different shapes and sizes, your voice having evaded your throat.
jisung shuffles on his feet, unsure of what to make of your silence. he flicks his fingers at the ducks and watches happily as they come to life.
âthis is⊠this is awesome, jack.â
he stiffens at the name, but smiles nonetheless. you step forward to crouch closer to the ducks, laughing when some of them waddle around you. jisung grins, flicking his wrist to create even more magic with the snow that shoots from his fingertips.
your giggles fill the air as he makes snow glide through the air, before bursting into tiny snowflakes that glitter as the sunshine hits them.
jisung?
the oddly familiar voice distracts the white haired boy, his fingers freezing in the air. youâre still distracted by the snowflakes when jisung feels for the tooth box in his pocket.
âsung, whereâd you go?
âi-i gotta go. i forgot i had some place to be.â he murmurs, tugging the hood of his hoodie back over his head.
your eyes linger on the little ducks all over your feet, âalright. when will iâ?â
when you finally tear your eyes away from the snow, the icy boy is nowhere to be found.
â
i⊠iâm right here.
it was weirdly quiet. jisung felt like he was floating, which was definitely not something he was used to. his eyes were closed, and he couldnât seem to peel them open.
âpark jisung, i swear if youâre hiding just to scare me, iâm going to kill you!â
y/n. where were you? your voice sounded so far away.
it was cold. jisung felt the bite of the freezing winter air, but he didnât feel the need to care at all.
ââsung, seriouslyâŠâ you sounded annoyed. but he was right there.
iâm here!
jisung was convinced that he was trapped in a dream. he couldnât bring himself to open his eyes, or to reply to your annoyed cries.
then he heard your phone ringâa heartbroken gasp tumbles past your lips, and hurried footsteps fade farther and farther away from him.
y/n! iâm right hereâŠ
ây/n.â jisung gasps, the tooth box slipping from his fingers. the truth slams into him and brings him to his knees.
your last memory of him, was that heâd ditched you. the revelation wraps around his heart as tears push their way past his strong exterior.
for years he had longed to know who he had been before the man in the moon chose him to be a guardian. for years he longed for a familyâone that knew him as park jisung and not as jack frost.
and now, the answers to his prayers were right there, within his reach.
âjack?â northâs deep voice brings him out of the haze he was drowning in.
tears were blurring his vision, but he stood, grabbing his staff before wiping them off with his sleeve. âi⊠i have a family.â
jisungâs soft voice brings a small smile onto northâs face. the rest of the guardians had been just that all their lives, guardians. jackâjisung, had been the only one who was turned into a guardian after a tragedy that had struck his life.
north had hoped to keep him in the dark for as long as possible, though he knew it was never going to end up that way. when jisung was first introduced as a guardian, he had been so cluelessâso accepting of his fate as jack frost, that north had felt itâd been best to allow him to learn to love himself as jack frost, even if that meant not knowing who he was as park jisung.
he had, obviously, been wrong.
âgo, ji.â
jisungâs sobs (embarrassingly) get louder, surging forward to wrap his arms around north.
âthank you, north.â
â
something told jisung that you werenât home. even though he passed by, eyeing the car that sat in your driveway.
the cold winter air was leading him some place else. some place closer to the girl that seemed to feel more and more like home.
âi miss you, âsung.â
your lonely whisper just manages to reach his ears as he slows to a stop a couple feet away from where you sat.
his eyes wandered past your seated figure, slowly taking in where the wind had taken him.
a frozen over lake. one that he knew quite well.
it was cold. jisung felt the bite of the freezing winter air, but he didnât feel the need to care at all.
âwhereâd you go, âsung?â your heartbroken whisper echoes through the empty lake once more, and urges jisung to move closer to you.
âiâm right here.â
youâre startledâyour head whips towards his figure before youâre up on your feet. youâre frowning at him, but all he can do is smile warmly back at you.
âjack? what are youââ
he moves forward, flicking his wrists to form makeshift ice skates on your feet. jisung has no idea what heâs doing, but he moves swiftly and hurriedlyâtransferring the two of you onto the frozen lake.
âjack!â your gasp is full of fear, your hands gripping onto his forearms as jisung glides the two of you across the frozen water.
âiâm so sorry it took me this long to remember you. to remember us, y/n.â jisungâs murmur is quiet, the cold winter air suddenly heats as your eyes find his despite the fear of falling.
it takes a second, but the truth hits you just as hard as it had him a couple hours before.
park jisung was in front of you. his brown hair hair was swapped with strands that were white as snow, his eyes were blue instead of their usual dark brown and his feet were bareâbut there was no doubting the sweet smile that etched itself onto his lips and the dimples that came with it.
ââŠâsung?â
your whisper is breathless once more, and the smile that curves jisungâs lips could not be sweeter.
nothing too detailed but just bc this can be a very sensitive topic to some!! that being said, im not trying to romanticize unhealthy eating habits or anything like that. as someone who has struggled with these things, fics like these hit a little close to home. but thatâs what makes them all the more comforting to me and i hope this fic will have the same effect for anyone that also may also relate. plz be kind to yourself and your body, itâs beautiful and does so much for u!! lots of love, take care đđ
Coming off the stage, the soreness of Yoongiâs shoulder becomes harder to ignore as the high of finishing yet another successful concert starts to wear off. After the long hours of practice and leaving it all on the stage, it all seems to catch up to him all at once as he keeps his head down to hide his grimace.
As soon as Yoongi steps foot backstage, heâs immediately knocked back a few steps as you run into his chest. âYou were amazing!â you breathe out as you wrap your arms around his neck, engulfing him in a warm hug. Wrapping his good arm around your waist and hiding his face in the crook of your neck, Yoongi grits his teeth and breathes in your comforting scent to help him bear the pain.
i.n x reader.
genre â hurt comfort.
warnings â mention of insecurities.
wc â 1336 words.
note â thank uuu nonnie for requesting! i know it's supposed to be a short drabble but i kinda got carried away. . . also requests are closed right now so please donât send in any.
the thoughts had been dwelling in your head for a while now. annoyingly stuck onto your brain like gum at the back of school tables. youâve tried to deny, deny, deny the negative thoughts but to no avail â your own insecurities took over.
the heat from the shower fogged up the entire bathroom, a contrast to the cold, small feeling creeping up in your veins, tugging on your heartstrings. your tears ran down your cheeks, eyes swollen from the amount of crying youâve done. you had been crying since the night before, ever since jeongin texted you about having an indoor date, again. he had never taken you out, ever â at first it was under the reasoning of privacy. jeongin told you that he wanted to enjoy all of you, without having to worry about other people watching. however, after months of dating, it started to feel like he was concealing you. sheltering you from the world out of embarrassment of dating you.
the mirror cleared up as soon as you wiped it down, and you visibly icked at the reflection staring back at you. your eyes were a bloodshot red, face puffed up. you loathed the sight of your own self, hyper aware of the fact that you werenât exactly idol image. your heart hurt at the thought of understanding why the i.n would hide you from the world. your lips pursed as you got ready. repeatedly, you told yourself that maybe it was due to management not allowing the public to know that heâs dating. or something along the lines of that. you sighed. despite not feeling the best, you still wanted to see jeongin. perhaps your boyfriendâs presence would make you forget about the devilish thoughts.
it didnât.
the two of you were sat in front of your tv, a charcuterie board sitting on a blanket in front of you. an indoors picnic â your boyfriend had said. you rested your head on his shoulder, eyes glued onto his phone screen. jeongin was showing an instagram story hyunjin had posted earlier that day â a mirror selfie of him and his girlfriend. you chewed the inside of your cheeks as you nodded along to his enthusiasm, faking a smile.
âhyung finally made it official with the girl, even posted her online,â he smiled, âheâs so whipped, isnât he?â
âyeah,â you muttered, train of thoughts fleeing somewhere else.
the more your eyes burned, the more you blinked, a pathetic attempt to block away the tears. the last thing you wanted to do was to cry in front of jeongin, over something so stupid as well. but you couldnât help the train of thoughts wrecking your peace of mind. if hyunjin was allowed to post a picture of him and his girlfriend â what was stopping jeongin? you concluded that it was truly over the fact that you just werenât worthy enough to be shown, that he was too much of a bright star to be seen beside someone as dull as you. venomous words continued to circulate in your mind, to the point that it had blocked out jeonginâs voice. without you knowing, tears had already began slipping past your eyes.
âbaby?â your boyfriend called out, turning towards you. he placed his phone down, looking down and frowning at the sight of you crying.
the tears continued to pour, you were past the point of trying to stop them. they wouldnât if you tried anyway â the burden of shouldering your own insecurities had crushed you like a boulder.
"innie," your voice cracked, "'m not good enough for you?"
"what?" he replied, tone softer than a nightingale's, "what are you saying, baby?"
you shook your head, your tears blurring your vision, "'m not good enough for you, you're ashamed of me."
he was confused, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at your crying figure.
jeongin cupped your cheeks, âwho said that, baby? what made you feel that way?â
you didnât have the strength to reply immediately. your body shook as you breathed heavily, tears carelessly slipping from your eyes. jeongin didnât push you, instead he rubbed away your tears with his thumbs. you felt yourself get carried onto his lap, body pulled flushed against his chest as he rubbed your back soothingly.
âitâs okay my love, you can cry it out first.â
the words made you cry even more â although you didnât think it would be possible. his green shirt turned damp from your tears, yet he didnât seem to mind. the steady beating of his breaths contrasted with yours â bodies moulded together as your heartbeats mixed and became one. jeongin was doing an impressive job at calming you down, muttering sweet confessions into your ears alike a doting motherâs lullaby. you inhaled a deep breath before leaning back to look into his almond eyes.
âmy darling,â he whispered as soon as he sees your visage, âyou look so pretty even when youâre crying.â
your lips quivered, "i can't stop this feeling that you secretly think 'm not worthy enough to have you."
"how so?"
"it's just that," your lips quivered even more, "it feels like you're hiding me from the world. we've never hung together outside of my house, you've never introduced me to your friends â" you croaked, voice faltering.
your boyfriend rubbed your back, "take your time, y/n. i'm here."
his eyes never left yours as you gathered yourself, taking in deep breaths and trying your best to form coherent words in your head. your vocabulary was all jumbled â you were struggling. you were struggling but you knew that it was okay, that jeongin wouldn't be annoyed.
"i just," you took a deep breath, "i want to be shown off. i want people to know that i'm all yours. i want to hold your hand in public. i want to meet the people that you love, jeongin. right now it feels like you're hiding me because i'm not enough. it feels like i'm a different part of your life. it's not nice, jeongin, i hate it so much."
he blinked. excessively, as if he was blinking away tears. you pursed your lips, "say something, please."
"y/n. . ." his voice trailed off, "my god, baby. all this while i was actually waiting for you to bring this up. i thought you weren't ready."
"huh?"
jeongin chuckled, "i've been thinking of you know, making us public for a while now but i didn't want to pressure you. you know, being in the media's range isn't the easiest thing ever, so i was waiting for you to bring this up. i felt like if i brought it up, it would be sort of like pressuring you. that's the last thing i'd want to do, baby."
he pressed a kiss onto your forehead, "do you know how much i talk about you to the boys? seungmin's tired of it. and i have so many pictures of us ready on my phone, for me to post someday. you're more than enough, y/n, and i'm sorry i've been making you feel less. you are so beautiful, angel."
you wanted to cry â happy tears this time. you pressed your face into his chest, partially embarrassed and partially in awe.
"i take it that you're ready for us to be public?"
"yes, you idiot."
sometime that night you ended up dozing off in his arms, in between stupid jokes and heartfelt confessions. the next morning, you wake up still in his arms, but in the comfort of your bed. you rolled off his arms â if you didn't he might end up with a numb hand and you weren't ready to hear his complaints. you check your phone to see about hundreds of notifications, mainly from your friends â
"y/n! you didn't tell us the jeongin you're dating was the i.n from the fucking band!"
ah. jeongin had posted a mirror selfie of you matching your outfits on instagram.
the smile that formed on your face was wider than a cheshire cat's.
taglist (send an ask to be added!) â @zoe8stay , @starlostseungmin , @bakugossanity , @hwajin , @sleepyleeji , @skizzel , @jkefelx , @asters-abditory
Genre: established relationship, fluff and love, slice of life
WC: 1k
Warnings: one (1) curse, this is also not my wheelhouse to write so Iâm nervous eager to see what you think :)
Note: thank you a billion times for all the sobbing emojis during your beta job, @/kookstempo!!! ilu pumpkin
Youâre comfy â so comfy: blanket over your legs holding in your body heat, coffee cup between your hands still steaming as you wait for it to cool enough to drink, throw-pillows behind you in just the right spots.
Unfortunately, you have to get up. Why? Because you hear Yoongiâs electric toothbrush in the bathroom, and that means heâs getting ready to leave.
You must make your displeasure known.
You set your coffee cup on the table and reach for the remote, pausing the nonsense you were half-watching as you woke up. You pad through the living room sleepily, heading towards the bathroom light down the hallway.
Heâs fresh out of the shower, standing before the bathroom sink in only a clean pair of boxer briefs. In the sink below him, cold water is running. You eye his bare back, still covered in water droplets. He never dries his shoulders properly. He turns to look at you as you come into view in the doorway, toothbrush sticking out of his mouth.
âUh-oh,â he says, around a mouthful of toothpaste. You canât help it - you smile deviously.
You come to stand behind him and wrap your arms around his torso, holding on to your own forearms to lock him in place. You rest your cheek against the flat of his shoulder blade for a second â heâs still so warm from the shower â but then face front to look at him in the mirror. In your reflections, you can only see yourself from your eyes up, peering over his shoulder, the rest of you hidden behind the love of your life.
He meets your eyes in the mirror and gives you a look thatâs somehow both indulgent and warning. The duality with this guy, you swear.
He leans forward to spit and rinse, and you keep your arms locked tight around his middle, giggling a little when the action causes you to have to stretch onto your tippytoes. You keep your grip tight as he turns to reach for a face-towel, and swivel together with him when he turns back to turn the faucet off.
âAre we really doing this?â he asks you, the barest hint of a laugh in his voice.
âI donât know what youâre talking about,â you say lightly, feigning innocence.
He rolls his eyes at you, but you can see the corners of his mouth fighting twitches. He doesnât want to laugh; he knows laughing will only encourage your shenanigans.
He turns and heads back into your shared bedroom, and you keep your arms in place, hopping quickly from one foot to another in an effort to not step on him or accidentally let go. He huffs out a laugh as your front bumps into his back over and over in your efforts to keep up.
âDid you know,â he says, stopping in front of his closet, eyes searching for what he wants to wear, âthat you only do this when Iâm trying to get ready to go?â
âDo what?â you demand innocently.
He cocks an eyebrow at you over his shoulder. You squeeze him just a little tighter. âGet clingy,â he clarifies, even though you both knew what he meant.
âItâs not the only time I get clingy,â you muse, happy to keep the conversation going. As long as heâs still in your grasp, as long as heâs still talking to you, then youâre successfully delaying his departure. âI get clingy when Iâm sleepy, too. Or when Iâm sad. Or when I just want a hug.â
Heâs digging through the closet now, hands going for the hangers he wants. âThatâs a long list. How do I put up with you?â
âGood question,â you deadpan. âHow do you put up with me?â
Heâs been trying to get ready despite your iron grip around his middle â this is such a familiar song-and-dance heâs not sure he can get dressed without you attached to his back â but now he stops. His instinctual reaction, sassy shit that he is, is to quip, âItâs a challenge, for sure,â but something halts him today.
He turns within your little prison, and you allow it. He bends down and kisses your forehead, one lock of black hair falling over his forehead with the motion, and your eyes widen. You obstructing his getting-ready process is commonplace â him being sweet instead of playfully annoyed is not.
But thereâs something Yoongi learned the hard way over a year ago when you two started getting serious: while his love language is acts of service, yours is words of affirmation. You both had to learn this about each other and adjust. For you that meant remembering to ask yourself what you could do for him when you werenât used to having someone else to think about. For him it meant making an effort to put his feelings into words for you, even when it didnât come easily or naturally.
âPutting up with you,â he says, voice low, âis one of my favorite things to do.â
You go absolutely silent, but you squeeze him a little tighter. You know it doesnât come effortlessly for Yoongi to be verbally sentimental â he shows his love in a million little ways every day, but this kind of thing means he put in a concentrated effort, made a choice to try and give you what you need. Youâre flooded with gratitude, overcome with appreciation for his willingness to try for you.
âWell, now I really donât want you to leave,â you grumble into his chest. He laughs fully, shoulders shaking and smile showing his gums.
âThe sooner you let me go,â he reasons, âthe sooner I can come home again.â
âIâd rather you not go at all,â you say. He glances at the clock and gives your arms two quick pats, indicating that he really needs to make some moves now, and your allotted bothering time is up. Sighing, you release your hold on him, making to go back to your spot on the couch. Your coffee has probably cooled by now.
Youâre about to step away when Yoongi reaches and pulls you back, wrapping you in one last hug before he has to start hustling to get out the door on time. You sink against him, eyes closing. Youâre back to being comfy â so comfy.
slow burn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no thereâs only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt-comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or middle aged romance // time travel or isolated together // neighbors or roommates  // sci-fi au or magic au // body swap or gender bend // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundaneÂ
i am pretty much the most indecisive person ever so this was kind of hard đ
slow burn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no thereâs only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt-comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or middle aged romance // time travel or isolated together // neighbors or roommates  // sci-fi au or magic au // body swap or gender bend // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundaneÂ
slow burn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no thereâs only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt-comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or middle aged romance // time travel or isolated together // neighbors or roommates  // sci-fi au or magic au // body swap or gender bend // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane
not me picking both for almost all T__T
tags !! : @molensworld @malineoo < 3 my followers ihihihi
just some of my favorite reads from the past two months! thank u sm to all of the incredible writers out there; i hope u know that u are appreciated and loved!!
**NOTE: check out my rec/reblog blog @rubyten for more !! i definitely have not read a lot lately tho đ
NCT (all units)
hockey player!jeno having a crush on you (lee jeno) â @loeycity
the hot hockey player who is quietly down bad for u wins the gameâand the girl ;]
11:51pm (huang renjun) â @rnjfy
quick and simple whipped!renjun,,, right in front of my salad
pudding (zhong chenle) â @rnjfy
sucker for chenle, esp when he falls in love w u and the pudding at ur workplace
mark as a boyfriend (mark lee) â @lyyhyuck
need i say more Ô_ó (bf hcs for the soul)
00:05 (lee jeno) â @jaehunny1428
bff's debut fic!! she's amazing, the writing's amazing, the comfort is amazing
SVT
scored! (lee chan) â @starlightjoong
i have WORDS abt this fic, and if u want a more detailed ver, go to my rec acct but u need to read this chan fic i love! it! too! much!
or, would you rather it be me? (chwe hansol) â @thepixelelf
one of THE BEST, if not the actual best, soulmate aus i have ever read bye
work husband (chwe hansol) â @wondernus
vernon is v much work husband material; teacher dating teacher au (portrayal of the boys r so well done, i have so many compliments)
toothbrush (kwon soonyoung) â @crimsoncauldron
this soonyoung just makes me incredibly soft đâš
my things and yours (kwon soonyoung) â @crimsoncauldron
a perfect scene by scene play of how u and hoshi's tastes find compromise (also quite cute)
my burning heart (won't listen to me) (wen junhui) â @adi--writes
we all know hot is jun's era, now read this w one of his performances fresh in ur mind ;D
game day (choi seungcheol) â @escapewriter
tbh i binged this smau in one go and i am not sorry for it (coups, what a gent)
9:24am (xu minghao) â @maiademia
reia thankfully wrote me a sequel to this one, but hao truly is that bitchâą
all my love (ot13) â @ethereal-engene
made me so soft w this one đ« bestie hit home; u and svt go to pride together
TXT
cuddlebug (choi soobin) â @bunnybeehun
soooo so soft and comforting :( soobin deserves the world
skittles (hueningkai) â @loveliestfelix
THIS !!! was literally like a :O moment for me lol but kai is quite attractive (ïŒÂŽâïœ)
sweeter than (choi beomgyu) â @yedammi
i had to put this here not just cuz i requested it, but bc kari knocked it outta the park as per usual (beach meet cute!!)
adore you (choi beomgyu) â @koishua
sucker for whipped!bad boys? meet the beomgyu version ^_^
SKZ
beach club (lee felix) â @loveliestfelix
no but like this whole thing just butters my toast, like the chemistry btwn reader and felix, and the sunrises idea mWAH
forgotten keys (yang jeongin) â @mxxndreams
okok i also have WORDS abt this one (i have more abt it on my reblog), but yang jeongin + tattoos + smirks + tank tops = @_@
like a cat (lee minho) â @bunnybeehun
the overarching metaphor is so beautiful and sad, and so well written
request for established relationship!mark pls where reader comforts him while heâs in quarantine and reassuring him about the whole tds2 situation :((((
omg omg this is so !! i feel so bad for the dreamies, and i really hope they were able to find their own comforts through this situation :( thank you for the req op ! i hope you enjoy < 3
warning/s : hurt / comfort, sobbing!mark :(
you are enough â lmh.
in which you being there for him was simply all he needed.
âbaby? whatâs going on?â
your tired voice filters through markâs phone. he hears the confusion and exhaustion clearly even though heâs not with you physically. he tried to look for any sign of annoyance in your voice butâ
âmark? are you there?â your continuous sincere concern couldâve brought him to his knees.
a sob rips through his lips, ây/nââ
and it was as if a bucket of ice cold water was dumped right on you. your eyes widen as you hurriedly sit up with your phone pressed to your ear.
âbaby, hey. whyâre you crying?â your tone is light as mark listens to the ruffles of your sheets. he faintly hears you moving about before his screen lights up with a notification.
y/n <3 is requesting to video call with you!
a small smile tugs itself onto his lips as he hesitantly presses the camera icon on his phone. heâs wearing a black jacket with the hoodie up and despite him only showing half his face, you could tell that heâd been crying for a while before calling you.
âthereâs my favorite boy. whatâs going on, hmm?â your face was illuminated by the yellow light of your lamp. your hair was a mess and your eyes were so so tired, but all mark could do was sob even more at the love and concern you had for him that seemed to overpower anything else.
you watch as his face crumples, his head tilting lower so you wouldnât see him.
âi-i just feel like iâve disappointed them, our fans.â hearing his pained voice even just through your phone was excruciating. you wished of nothing more than to hold him in your arms.
âtheyâve been waiting so longâweâve been waiting so long. the guys and i have been practicing so hard and yet i just had to go and mess things upââ
âhey, hey. none of that now.â your gentle voice stops his spiralling thoughts as he stares at you through his phone. he sees the light frown you now have on your face and how youâve started so pout a little at the conversation you two are having.
âyou didnât mess things up, okay? these things happen for a reason. no oneâs disappointed in youâespecially your fans. they love and care for you so much and prioritize your health just as much as the guys and i do.â
he watches as you smile gently at him, âhave you opened twitter? everyoneâs wishing you a speedy recovery. not one person is saying anything about being disappointed in you.â
your words were slowly putting his heart at ease. he was always surprised at the way you seemed to be able to calm his heart down no matter how far you seemed to be from him.
âi love you, my sweet boy. and they do too. we all just want you to get better and we know youâll be able to come back even better than ever!â your giggles fill his quiet room as you imitate his opening performance of âbeatboxâ.
âi love you so much, my y/n.â he whispers into the phone, more tears pricking at his eyesâbut now, they were because of your abundant love for him.
your smile warms his heart, the look in your eyes was something he wished to cherish forever. âiâm sorry i canât be there with you.â
mark immediately shakes his head, his eyes shining towards you.
âyour presence is more than enough for me.â
â
rather short !! but i hope you enjoyed this nonetheless op ! :DDD
request for established relationship!mark pls where reader comforts him while heâs in quarantine and reassuring him about the whole tds2 situation :((((
omg omg this is so !! i feel so bad for the dreamies, and i really hope they were able to find their own comforts through this situation :( thank you for the req op ! i hope you enjoy < 3
warning/s : hurt / comfort, sobbing!mark :(
you are enough â lmh.
in which you being there for him was simply all he needed.
âbaby? whatâs going on?â
your tired voice filters through markâs phone. he hears the confusion and exhaustion clearly even though heâs not with you physically. he tried to look for any sign of annoyance in your voice butâ
âmark? are you there?â your continuous sincere concern couldâve brought him to his knees.
a sob rips through his lips, ây/nââ
and it was as if a bucket of ice cold water was dumped right on you. your eyes widen as you hurriedly sit up with your phone pressed to your ear.
âbaby, hey. whyâre you crying?â your tone is light as mark listens to the ruffles of your sheets. he faintly hears you moving about before his screen lights up with a notification.
y/n <3 is requesting to video call with you!
a small smile tugs itself onto his lips as he hesitantly presses the camera icon on his phone. heâs wearing a black jacket with the hoodie up and despite him only showing half his face, you could tell that heâd been crying for a while before calling you.
âthereâs my favorite boy. whatâs going on, hmm?â your face was illuminated by the yellow light of your lamp. your hair was a mess and your eyes were so so tired, but all mark could do was sob even more at the love and concern you had for him that seemed to overpower anything else.
you watch as his face crumples, his head tilting lower so you wouldnât see him.
âi-i just feel like iâve disappointed them, our fans.â hearing his pained voice even just through your phone was excruciating. you wished of nothing more than to hold him in your arms.
âtheyâve been waiting so longâweâve been waiting so long. the guys and i have been practicing so hard and yet i just had to go and mess things upââ
âhey, hey. none of that now.â your gentle voice stops his spiralling thoughts as he stares at you through his phone. he sees the light frown you now have on your face and how youâve started so pout a little at the conversation you two are having.
âyou didnât mess things up, okay? these things happen for a reason. no oneâs disappointed in youâespecially your fans. they love and care for you so much and prioritize your health just as much as the guys and i do.â
he watches as you smile gently at him, âhave you opened twitter? everyoneâs wishing you a speedy recovery. not one person is saying anything about being disappointed in you.â
your words were slowly putting his heart at ease. he was always surprised at the way you seemed to be able to calm his heart down no matter how far you seemed to be from him.
âi love you, my sweet boy. and they do too. we all just want you to get better and we know youâll be able to come back even better than ever!â your giggles fill his quiet room as you imitate his opening performance of âbeatboxâ.
âi love you so much, my y/n.â he whispers into the phone, more tears pricking at his eyesâbut now, they were because of your abundant love for him.
your smile warms his heart, the look in your eyes was something he wished to cherish forever. âiâm sorry i canât be there with you.â
mark immediately shakes his head, his eyes shining towards you.
âyour presence is more than enough for me.â
â
rather short !! but i hope you enjoyed this nonetheless op ! :DDD
request for established relationship!mark pls where reader comforts him while heâs in quarantine and reassuring him about the whole tds2 situation :((((
omg omg this is so !! i feel so bad for the dreamies, and i really hope they were able to find their own comforts through this situation :( thank you for the req op ! i hope you enjoy < 3
warning/s : hurt / comfort, sobbing!mark :(
you are enough â lmh.
in which you being there for him was simply all he needed.
âbaby? whatâs going on?â
your tired voice filters through markâs phone. he hears the confusion and exhaustion clearly even though heâs not with you physically. he tried to look for any sign of annoyance in your voice butâ
âmark? are you there?â your continuous sincere concern couldâve brought him to his knees.
a sob rips through his lips, ây/nââ
and it was as if a bucket of ice cold water was dumped right on you. your eyes widen as you hurriedly sit up with your phone pressed to your ear.
âbaby, hey. whyâre you crying?â your tone is light as mark listens to the ruffles of your sheets. he faintly hears you moving about before his screen lights up with a notification.
y/n <3 is requesting to video call with you!
a small smile tugs itself onto his lips as he hesitantly presses the camera icon on his phone. heâs wearing a black jacket with the hoodie up and despite him only showing half his face, you could tell that heâd been crying for a while before calling you.
âthereâs my favorite boy. whatâs going on, hmm?â your face was illuminated by the yellow light of your lamp. your hair was a mess and your eyes were so so tired, but all mark could do was sob even more at the love and concern you had for him that seemed to overpower anything else.
you watch as his face crumples, his head tilting lower so you wouldnât see him.
âi-i just feel like iâve disappointed them, our fans.â hearing his pained voice even just through your phone was excruciating. you wished of nothing more than to hold him in your arms.
âtheyâve been waiting so longâweâve been waiting so long. the guys and i have been practicing so hard and yet i just had to go and mess things upââ
âhey, hey. none of that now.â your gentle voice stops his spiralling thoughts as he stares at you through his phone. he sees the light frown you now have on your face and how youâve started so pout a little at the conversation you two are having.
âyou didnât mess things up, okay? these things happen for a reason. no oneâs disappointed in youâespecially your fans. they love and care for you so much and prioritize your health just as much as the guys and i do.â
he watches as you smile gently at him, âhave you opened twitter? everyoneâs wishing you a speedy recovery. not one person is saying anything about being disappointed in you.â
your words were slowly putting his heart at ease. he was always surprised at the way you seemed to be able to calm his heart down no matter how far you seemed to be from him.
âi love you, my sweet boy. and they do too. we all just want you to get better and we know youâll be able to come back even better than ever!â your giggles fill his quiet room as you imitate his opening performance of âbeatboxâ.
âi love you so much, my y/n.â he whispers into the phone, more tears pricking at his eyesâbut now, they were because of your abundant love for him.
your smile warms his heart, the look in your eyes was something he wished to cherish forever. âiâm sorry i canât be there with you.â
mark immediately shakes his head, his eyes shining towards you.
âyour presence is more than enough for me.â
â
rather short !! but i hope you enjoyed this nonetheless op ! :DDD
request for established relationship!mark pls where reader comforts him while heâs in quarantine and reassuring him about the whole tds2 situation :((((
omg omg this is so !! i feel so bad for the dreamies, and i really hope they were able to find their own comforts through this situation :( thank you for the req op ! i hope you enjoy < 3
warning/s : hurt / comfort, sobbing!mark :(
you are enough â lmh.
in which you being there for him was simply all he needed.
âbaby? whatâs going on?â
your tired voice filters through markâs phone. he hears the confusion and exhaustion clearly even though heâs not with you physically. he tried to look for any sign of annoyance in your voice butâ
âmark? are you there?â your continuous sincere concern couldâve brought him to his knees.
a sob rips through his lips, ây/nââ
and it was as if a bucket of ice cold water was dumped right on you. your eyes widen as you hurriedly sit up with your phone pressed to your ear.
âbaby, hey. whyâre you crying?â your tone is light as mark listens to the ruffles of your sheets. he faintly hears you moving about before his screen lights up with a notification.
y/n <3 is requesting to video call with you!
a small smile tugs itself onto his lips as he hesitantly presses the camera icon on his phone. heâs wearing a black jacket with the hoodie up and despite him only showing half his face, you could tell that heâd been crying for a while before calling you.
âthereâs my favorite boy. whatâs going on, hmm?â your face was illuminated by the yellow light of your lamp. your hair was a mess and your eyes were so so tired, but all mark could do was sob even more at the love and concern you had for him that seemed to overpower anything else.
you watch as his face crumples, his head tilting lower so you wouldnât see him.
âi-i just feel like iâve disappointed them, our fans.â hearing his pained voice even just through your phone was excruciating. you wished of nothing more than to hold him in your arms.
âtheyâve been waiting so longâweâve been waiting so long. the guys and i have been practicing so hard and yet i just had to go and mess things upââ
âhey, hey. none of that now.â your gentle voice stops his spiralling thoughts as he stares at you through his phone. he sees the light frown you now have on your face and how youâve started so pout a little at the conversation you two are having.
âyou didnât mess things up, okay? these things happen for a reason. no oneâs disappointed in youâespecially your fans. they love and care for you so much and prioritize your health just as much as the guys and i do.â
he watches as you smile gently at him, âhave you opened twitter? everyoneâs wishing you a speedy recovery. not one person is saying anything about being disappointed in you.â
your words were slowly putting his heart at ease. he was always surprised at the way you seemed to be able to calm his heart down no matter how far you seemed to be from him.
âi love you, my sweet boy. and they do too. we all just want you to get better and we know youâll be able to come back even better than ever!â your giggles fill his quiet room as you imitate his opening performance of âbeatboxâ.
âi love you so much, my y/n.â he whispers into the phone, more tears pricking at his eyesâbut now, they were because of your abundant love for him.
your smile warms his heart, the look in your eyes was something he wished to cherish forever. âiâm sorry i canât be there with you.â
mark immediately shakes his head, his eyes shining towards you.
âyour presence is more than enough for me.â
â
rather short !! but i hope you enjoyed this nonetheless op ! :DDD
request for established relationship!mark pls where reader comforts him while heâs in quarantine and reassuring him about the whole tds2 situation :((((
omg omg this is so !! i feel so bad for the dreamies, and i really hope they were able to find their own comforts through this situation :( thank you for the req op ! i hope you enjoy < 3
warning/s : hurt / comfort, sobbing!mark :(
you are enough â lmh.
in which you being there for him was simply all he needed.
âbaby? whatâs going on?â
your tired voice filters through markâs phone. he hears the confusion and exhaustion clearly even though heâs not with you physically. he tried to look for any sign of annoyance in your voice butâ
âmark? are you there?â your continuous sincere concern couldâve brought him to his knees.
a sob rips through his lips, ây/nââ
and it was as if a bucket of ice cold water was dumped right on you. your eyes widen as you hurriedly sit up with your phone pressed to your ear.
âbaby, hey. whyâre you crying?â your tone is light as mark listens to the ruffles of your sheets. he faintly hears you moving about before his screen lights up with a notification.
y/n <3 is requesting to video call with you!
a small smile tugs itself onto his lips as he hesitantly presses the camera icon on his phone. heâs wearing a black jacket with the hoodie up and despite him only showing half his face, you could tell that heâd been crying for a while before calling you.
âthereâs my favorite boy. whatâs going on, hmm?â your face was illuminated by the yellow light of your lamp. your hair was a mess and your eyes were so so tired, but all mark could do was sob even more at the love and concern you had for him that seemed to overpower anything else.
you watch as his face crumples, his head tilting lower so you wouldnât see him.
âi-i just feel like iâve disappointed them, our fans.â hearing his pained voice even just through your phone was excruciating. you wished of nothing more than to hold him in your arms.
âtheyâve been waiting so longâweâve been waiting so long. the guys and i have been practicing so hard and yet i just had to go and mess things upââ
âhey, hey. none of that now.â your gentle voice stops his spiralling thoughts as he stares at you through his phone. he sees the light frown you now have on your face and how youâve started so pout a little at the conversation you two are having.
âyou didnât mess things up, okay? these things happen for a reason. no oneâs disappointed in youâespecially your fans. they love and care for you so much and prioritize your health just as much as the guys and i do.â
he watches as you smile gently at him, âhave you opened twitter? everyoneâs wishing you a speedy recovery. not one person is saying anything about being disappointed in you.â
your words were slowly putting his heart at ease. he was always surprised at the way you seemed to be able to calm his heart down no matter how far you seemed to be from him.
âi love you, my sweet boy. and they do too. we all just want you to get better and we know youâll be able to come back even better than ever!â your giggles fill his quiet room as you imitate his opening performance of âbeatboxâ.
âi love you so much, my y/n.â he whispers into the phone, more tears pricking at his eyesâbut now, they were because of your abundant love for him.
your smile warms his heart, the look in your eyes was something he wished to cherish forever. âiâm sorry i canât be there with you.â
mark immediately shakes his head, his eyes shining towards you.
âyour presence is more than enough for me.â
â
rather short !! but i hope you enjoyed this nonetheless op ! :DDD
i need requests really bad right now (though i canât promise iâll be able to get to them all âŠ) đ§ my writerâs block seems to be so bad HAJDHAJSH
preferably nct / bts ! iâll prioritize writing for them ! no smut as well please ><
