Your move, creep.

born '99, Just some random artist with some weird quirks and too much free time. Forgetful as heck too. This blog is just a weird mix of memes and whatever I'm into curently.

[goldensonata]

Murderbot's Pterrible Pterosaur Ptorment

nobody tells you this but youre genuinely just allowed to draw yourself as a giant creature doing some jurassic park type shit to your favorite characters. im revolutionizing the self-insert game

[anxietyproblem]

[y-that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick]

[ketenkusu]

This is what hozier meant when he says he falls a little bit in love everyday with someone new

[actualmythicalcreature]

I once watched a girl in the produce aisle pick up a bushel of bananas that were precariously perched on the edge and move them farther back and under her breath she said “there you go sweeties - that will be more comfortable” before shuffling off and… I think about her often.

[therainshallmakeadoor-deactivat]

« Silent lovers » is such a sweet way to put it.

[dangerously-human]

I was driving on the highway and passed a dude absolutely JAMMING alone in his car, doing those little half dance moves you do when you’re stuck sitting down in a small space, bellowing unheard lyrics at the top of his lungs, and my instant reaction was to think “I love you.” And then to pray he had a good day, or whatever, because those fleeting moments of connection are so incredible.

[neonshroudedgraves]

Bluesky asks Texas users to verify their ages, citing new app store law

"Why do you need age verification on a site where everyone is 38?"

[stevishabitat]

idk who on earth could possibly need to hear this, but do NOT, under ANY circumstances, give out your SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER to ANY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS

☝️☝️☝️

[triviallytrue]

in retrospect it's pretty funny that the most used computer port for many years just completely sucked shit to the point of there being normie memes about it

[triviallytrue]

we as a society lived like this for years and years

[phaeton-flier]

I mean when your biggest tech issue is "takes an extra 10 seconds (at most) to plug in if you're not paying attention" that's pretty good! Imagine if you had a printer and the printer's biggest problem was that the paper took a few tries to insert into the tray. You'd want to fuck that printer.

[triviallytrue]

I'd want to fuck that printer.

[halondrus]

fuck with me

[grrlterrier]

One of my favourite customer interactions

[as-if-and-only-if]

you serve the drink, they take a sip. it ticks down to 98% and they whisper “oh thank god”

[cheaphalloweencostume]

I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertation on a food blogger’s boredom with her marriage and lies she was told in childhood

[cheaphalloweencostume]

10 years of crème brûlée brownies and wondering where it all went wrong

[cheaphalloweencostume]

idk how you’re getting Content from “i fee like i dont know how to be a person properly and i dont know how or what to talk to my husband about almost ever” but she’s now happily divorced so she was in fact Not Content

[liobits]

Scrolled through the reblogs and couldn’t find anyone actually posting the recipe HERE, so I dug it up on the Wayback Machine. Behold! Kristan’s lost brownies recipe:

Créme Bruleé Brownies

Prep Time: 40 minutes Cook Time: 30 minutes Total Time: 1 hour, 10 minutes Yield: 15 servings

Ingredients

Brownies:

1 cup (2 sticks) salted butter, melted

1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

2 cups granulated sugar

4 large eggs

1 TBS vanilla extract

1 1/3 cups flour

12 oz (ish) jar hot fudge sauce

Créme Bruleé Topping:

¼ cup cornstarch

1 cup white sugar

6 Tablespoons butter, melted

3 ¼ cups half and half cream

2 teaspoons vanilla extract or vanilla bean paste

¼ cup granulated sugar

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350. Line a 9x13 pan with foil and spray thoroughly with nonstick spray; set aside.

In a large bowl, whisk together the cocoa and melted butter. Stir in sugar until combined. Stir in eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each. Stir in vanilla. Fold in flour JUST until you no longer see flour streaks in the batter. Gently fold in hot fudge sauce.

Spread batter in prepared pan and bake for about 20 minutes, until raw batter no longer appears when a toothpick is inserted in the center. Remove from oven and place pan on a cooling rack.

Prepare topping: In a medium-sized heavy saucepan, whisk together cornstarch and sugar. Whisk in the melted butter and half and half. Bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture is the consistency of a thick pudding. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla.

Pour custard over the brownies, spreading to cover. Sprinkle surface with granulated sugar, then place under the broiler for several minutes until top is golden (may be dark brown is some spots). Alternately, a kitchen torch can be used.

Let brownies cool to room temperature, then refrigerate until chilled. Remove foil, cut into bars and serve.

Enjoy and have a great day!

[oneheadtoanother]

[bloodsky]

Gender Troubles: The Butches (watch it for free until March 29th)

[catholic-women-near-you]

[ID: A Black butch woman, seated, says, “I know I am a woman. I know I am butch. I know that there is nothing wrong with that. And I know that within the confines of the word ‘woman,’ there is plenty of room for me.”]

[daily-daydream]

A jester who's serious and melancholy when he's not performing for the court and hates to be laughed at and a knight who's all stoic but secretly just a silly little guy under the armor when he's off duty

Also they're the only people who can tolerate one another-

[cheaphalloweencostume]

I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertation on a food blogger’s boredom with her marriage and lies she was told in childhood

[cheaphalloweencostume]

10 years of crème brûlée brownies and wondering where it all went wrong

[cheaphalloweencostume]

idk how you’re getting Content from “i fee like i dont know how to be a person properly and i dont know how or what to talk to my husband about almost ever” but she’s now happily divorced so she was in fact Not Content

[qsatisfaction]

@funnier-when-objectum it’s pretty clear that she loves the brownies more than she loved her husband.

[yeenaaldlooshii]

the vast majority of diy an average person needs in their life for basic maintenance is absolutely dogshit easy

[yeenaaldlooshii]

if you have like 5 hand tools and a can-do attitude congrats. youve solved 90% of your home maintenance problems. theres no need to ask and wait for other ppl to do it for you, or got forbid pay out the ass for maintenance guys. this is my universal advice for city dwellers

[yeenaaldlooshii]

actually im not done. the 5 hand tools are a claw hammer, a screwdriver (the kind with swappable bits), combination pliers, an adjustable wrench, and a tape measure. now all you need is a phone with internet. go to yt and type in "how to do x". watch a 5 min video showing you how to do it. do it. congrats. you are now the handyman of the house and the world is your oyster

[yeenaaldlooshii]

obligatory disclaimer for the piss on the poor website though. dont fuck with electricity if you dont know what youre doing, and save plumbing issues for later when youre not so green anymore. ok now go and be free

[astercontrol]

it had not occurred to me that would be a "piss on the poor" type of take

because i cannot fathom any reason anyone WOULD be scared to do their own home maintenance in the first place, except for, "there might be Electricity or Plumbing things involved that I'm not ready for"

Like. Why would you be afraid to hammer a nail into a wall if you own it? AFAIK the only imaginable reason is "the nail might hit a Pipe or an Electric Wire."

and that's a valid concern for anyone who doesn't already have at least basic knowledge of electrical and plumbing stuff, like "where in the wall could it be"

To me this kinda sounds like "it's safe to eat any plants or fungi you find in the woods! Oh and, obligatory disclaimer for the piss on the poor website: Except the poisonous ones."

[lawbutch]

I sat behind the same girl in class all year and I was painfully jealous of her beautiful curly hair and I assumed she had just figured out some hair routine I didn't know, or had more time in the mornings than me, or was somehow more disciplined or just lucky. And then my friend talked to her one day and found out she gets 500$ perms and highlights 3 times a year. The answer was literally just money. The same friend found out that most of our classmates who I thought were just naturally smarter than me went to private highschools that cost 25k a year.

This is all a metaphor to say that there will be times when you feel like other people understand something that you don't, or have some ability that you don't, or are better than you in some way because they've accomplished something you can't. And it's going to turn out that they're just rich and they spent thousands of dollars to make that happen. You are not bad, you are not broken, the system is just fucked.

[mewvore]

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

[miraclemaya]

this is problematic of me (joke) but i really enjoy the splashing of french into english speech or writing. just adds a pizzazz

[witchofanguish]

*adds a certain je ne sais quoi

[miraclemaya]

see the problem is that despite around 8 years of french schooling the french language has utterly escaped my brain so even the most obvious set up i had created for myself by accident was missed by me. such is life.

[spaghettioverdose-deactivated20]

*c'est la vie

[miraclemaya]

god damn it

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

*sacrebleu

[clytemnestraaa]

one of my creative writing professors once said that to evaluate a work as good or not, first you ask what the work is attempting to do, and then you evaluate how well it does it. and this is how to judge everything from critical essays to romance novels to snack packaging to theory tracts.

[teaboot]

I hate you Ozempic craze I hate you 'heroin chic' I hate you weight loss ads on public radio I hate Burn Fat Fast ads every thirty seconds I hate you I hate you I hate you

[teaboot]

I grew up before the term 'thigh gap' was invented I grew up before 'hip dip' was invented I was born before 'muffin top' was a thing before 'clean girl look' was a thing before 'glass skin' was a thing before razoring off peach fuzz was a thing and I'm so so so fucking tired of us inventing new concepts purely for the purpose of convincing people to hate their own bodies enough to buy products