Angus figures everything out and fucks up Lucretia’s whole Thing AU
Lucretia hires angus, innoculates him, and is like this is the deal with those missing people cases you were investigating
Angus says oh okay! This totally and completely satiases my curiosity :)
Internally angus says this is sus as hell
So he does what he does best, he snoops
So angus is snooping and somehow, cause he’s a little crime boy who can sneak around real good, he finds the starblaster
He’s like what the fuck is this
He gets in, and it’s…..odd. he doesnt linger in any one room too long, he just kind of pokes his head into the bedrooms and moves on (he figures he shouldnt stay here too long, lest he get caught)
But the most peculiar thing is how lived in this place looks. There’s mismatched furniture with throw pillows and blankets in the common area, a chore chart on the fridge, the bedrooms are all cluttered with knick knacks and clothes, beds unmade, theres a lab with papers scattered around tables and taped to the wall
But one room catches his attention
It’s… fairly simple, and emptier than the others. Bookshelf with some books missing, a bare desk, but what catches his attention is the pile of red on the bed
He goes to investigate and finds robes and jackets, all with an odd patch and names embroidered on them
A robe with “lucretia” embroidered on it
A jacket and robe, together as if someone had been wearing them at the same time, with “lup” and “taako”
A jacket with “davenport”
(there’s no barry robe cause he fell off the ship with it, these are the robes/jackets lucretia took off of the crew members as she sent them off to their new lives)
Now. This is after crystal kingdom and angus was at the candlenights party. He knows the director’s name is lucretia
He knows who Davenport is
He knows who taako, magnus, and merle are
This is pre-LUP incident, so he doesnt know who lup is
Angus, appropriately freaked out, puts them all back and BOLTS
Angus vacates the premises
He tries to figure out what this all means, but his thoughts dodge around the obvious conclusion that’s right in front of him
Hes too nervous to go back, it’s not until the L U P incident that he decides okay. I have to go back
So he goes back. He goes into the room labeled Captain’s Quarters (although “captain” has been scratched out and changed to “cap'nport”. Angus doesnt think too hard about what that means)
In the desk he finds some folders with the same weird logo as the robes and jackets. He doesnt look in them. Not yet. He can do that back in his room. He cant spend too much time here.
Then he goes to the lab. He doesnt know what hes looking for, but he grabs ones that seem important. A notebook or two. Some papers clipped together. He just grabs and shoves them into his bag and he fuckin bolts again
he looks at what he grabbed and some of it he can read, some of it he can’t
They lived in that ship. They were going on a mission for something. They made the grand relics to stop something. Theres a lot of notes on the planes.
Angus recognizes the way some stuff is redacted, and he kind of figures out that there must be another voidfish. And if the directors name was on one of those robes, maybe she has it.
Refuge mission comes and goes
Angus, cause he’s so fucking good, is able to sneak back into lucretias personal quarters and finds junior. He fills a water bottle with the ichor and gets the fuck outta there
He gets back to his room, innoculates himself and is like AAAAAAAAAA
Cause he can finally put it all together properly
And he basically pieces together the whole hunger situation himself with the notes he grabbed
The stuff he grabbed from davenports room was the crew’s like profiles or whatever from when they got hired on to the mission so angus now knows who lup is
So angus is like oh i GOTTA fix this
So he heads down to the reclaimers dorm with his bottle of ichor
Angus: i need you to drink this
Merle: what is it?
Angus: voidfish ichor
Taako: *laughs* hate to break it to you kid, we already drank the voidfish juice.
Angus: just- please?
Magnus: yeah alright
So magnus drinks it. His breath catches and he kinda goes weak and he’s shaking and he drops to his knees. After a minute or two (or more) he looks up at angus. “Holy shit,” he says. He grabs the bottle from where he dropped it and holds it out to taako and merle. “Drink it.” He says.
“Yeah alright,” merle says. Same deal as with magnus.
Once merle collects himself, they both turn to taako.
“Yeah, alright. Sure. Let’s get taako in on this weird party,” he says, taking the bottle and drinking
This time, magnus is ready and he catches taako when his knees give out
“Im gonna fucking kill her,” taako mumbles into magnus’ shoulder, his knuckles white as he grips his shirt.
“You’re not gonna kill her.”
“Im gonna fucking hit her so HARD, i swear to god.”
Taako keeps his face in magnus’ shoulder, but magnus and merle watch as angus crosses the room to where taako had left the umbrastaff, and he walks back over to magnus and taako on the floor
“Sir?” Taako looks up at angus. Angus holds the umbrella out, “i think i know where your sister is.”
(Lup, meanwhile, in the staff: HEEEEELLLLL YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH)
It takes taako a second, but he realizes what angus is saying and scrambles out of magnus’ hold and to his feet. He takes the umbrella and lifts it, about to snap it when angus says, “wait!”
Taako glares at him. “Ive waited ten years, kid. Make it snappy.”
“Madame director had a holy symbol in her office. I think it would ward against your sister, if shes a lich.”
“Uuugggggghhhhhhhhh LUCRETIAAAAAA”
The four of them go down planetside under the guise of a magic lesson and not wanting to burn any more “cryptic messages” into the walls
Taako snaps that fuckin umbrella as soon as his feet hit solid ground
Lup does some magic shit to summon barry, so barold shows up, happy reunion, and then a Discussion on what to do re: davenport not being innoculated and re: lucretia
Their plan boils down to this: thb and angus will go back to the moon and act as if this never happened. As far as lucretia knows, thb are still under junior’s influence
As soon as they can get davenport alone without rousing any suspicion, they bring him to their room and innoculate him. Once he’s got his memories back, he’ll be powerful enough to a) get his bracer off/disable the tracking spell in it and b) get off the base undetected
Davenport will definitely not want to go back to playing butler, so he’ll sneak off the base and hang out with lup and barry until lucretia sends the boys to wonderland
When the boys get sent to wonderland, theyll meet up, get the bell all together, and THEN confront lucretia, cause at that point theyll have the whole light, and they’ll have Options
So they do just that. They go back and innoculate davenport a few days later, a week at most
A panic ensues once everyone realizes davenport is missing
AND the tracking in his bracer is turning up nothing
Lucretia’s blood pressure has never been higher
But everything goes as business per usual
Lucretia, oddly enough, suspects nothing re: the boys ‘cause surely they wouldve confronted her if they remembered
The boys get sent down to wonderland. They meet up with blupjeans and dav at the entrance. With the six of them with all their memories and full access to their skills they take edward and lydia down in like 30 minutes. Tops.
So edward and lydia get their asses thoroughly handed to them by the six of them
(Davenport has the time of his LIFE)
They head back to the lich cave, barry gets in his new body and gets innoculated (the boys brought some ichor with them for him)
Lup possesses barry, then barry-with-lup and dav get in the pocket spa and back up to the moon they go
Lucretia is in her office when avi comes knocking
“Uh… director? The boys are coming back.”
“Already?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure it’s them?”
“Yep.”
Lucretia is…. stunned. It’s been… an hour and a half. Two, maybe. She has full faith in the boys but they took down wonderland in two hours?????
She goes to meet them, highly suspicious
But they arrive and, sure enough, it’s them. No magic. No tricks. It’s them, for sure.
taako has the bell and hes just holding it casually from the top as if it isnt one of the most powerful magic items in existence. And she can tell he isnt thralled, that’s just how hes decided to transport it.
Lucretia: ive got to admit, you boys took care of that…much faster than i expected
Magnus: ah, it was no big
Merle: piece of cake!
Taako: yeah, luce, shit was easy. Dunno what you were talkin’ about earlier.
And lucretia just freezes. Luce. Thats what taako called her. It’s what they all called her, really, but it’s the nickname Taako took 4 whole cycles to give to her, officially cracking the door of friendship open to her. And she looks him in the eyes and she knows that he knows. And she looks at merle and magnus and she can tell they know, too.
And taako gives her a venomous smile, all teeth, and says, “why dont we go have a little chat, madame director” and she flinches at the way he spits out her title
She doesnt know what to do but nod and turn to leave. As she turns, there’s angus, looking up at her with a determined set to his brow, and she knows he knows too
They head back to her office, and taako pulls the pocket spa out, and before lucretia can ask him what hes doing, out walks barry and davenport. And barrys eyes have got that red glow about them, so she knows lup’s here too.
“Take down the lich ward, lucretia,” barry says.
She does, and now there’s a firey, red robed lich among them.
Now this is where things get a little iffy for how they work out but here’s what i got
They have a similar confrontation as canon where theyre bickering about staying or going, shield or no shield, and im thinking this is where taako has his “there’s a third option” realization
And, because they did extreme wonderland speedrun, and they didnt take a whole extra day to travel to the lich cave and just used fuckin magic to get there, theyre a whole day ahead of where they were in canon
The hunger is close enough at this point tho that they can enact the plan like. Now.
But magnus insists on returning Fisher’s baby to them first
As magnus takes junior, lucretia works on getting the base secured and getting the bureau members ready for if the hunger touches down before they can cut it off
Magnus goes down to fisher with the baby, he takes his axe and swings, breaking the tank open
Johann, still alive and now soaking wet, is like dude wtf
Magnus returns the baby and out goes the story and song
Now johann is REALLY like DUDE WTF
Magnus is like im off to save the universe. Peace.
So since theyre a whole day ahead of the hunger, all seven of them go up in the ship
And then they fight and they win and they cut the hunger off and it’s rad
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