[title here]

howdy folks :) ----alex ---- she/they---- lesbian/queer/enby ---- huge freaking nerd

[its-just-a-writers-thing]

Writing Prompt #96

"With all due respect, intercourse yourself."

"What?"

"Fuck you."

[kiandra-layne]

#the most chaotic homosexual tension ever

[rosieholmeswatson]

completely showing up the "useless lesbian" stereotype is the "oblivious gay disasters" depicted above

[pumpkinylink]

Do non-americans realize that the United States is literally just a bunch of countries in a trench coat that agreed to be semi-nice to each other in order to sneak into the Big Boy Club? Because let’s be honest that’s just what the USA is

[pumpkinylink]

The rest of the world: So… you’re a big country?

The states, standing on each other’s shoulders: Y- yes,,,

[pumpkinylink]

I love how everyone who’s reblogged this hasn’t added anything on or tagged anything on it. They’re all just like “Yeah. That’s it. That’s the entire United States summed up in one post-”

[words-writ-in-starlight]

#oh my god is THAT why you guys are so weird

Yeah 100%

[b1s3xualm00n]

Don’t let these tags die omfg

[shieldmaiden19]

10/10 can confirm

[aces-to-apples]

absolutely bonkers that my own tags have crossed my dash like this more than fifteen reblogs after i wrote them

[deerladydisdain]

I moved to another state. 30 minutes away. My family acts like I betrayed them and can’t understand my life choices. It’s completely different way of life, especially during covid. Completely different country.

[bluecrowne]

every single fucking time one of those articles of “things europeans find weird about america” complains that sales tax isn’t included

states set the sales tax!!! it’s literally different across state lines!!! american retailers can’t add it bc they’d have to account for 50 different prices!!!!!!!

[capriceandwhimsy]

It gets even more insane! California’s clean air standards for cars and other such things are so much higher than everyone else’s! So if a car manufacturer in Detroit wants to sell their damn cars in California, they need to build their cars to California clean air standards. But retooling an assembly line and car design to have some cars meet California clean air standards, while building others to other clean air standards is a lot of work, so car manufacturers all over the country have to build all their cars to California clean air standards.

Which is why California went into an uproar earlier this year when the Federal Government tried to argue that states can’t set their own environmental guidelines! “Fuck you!” says California, “we remember Los Angeles in the 80s, how bad the smog gets, go pollute your own damn air over in your own damn state where there isn’t a thermal inversion layer to trap all the smog down near ground level!”

“But you’re making it soooo haaaaaard to sell our cars everywhere else!” they whine.

“Fuck you!” California shouts. “And while we’re at it, we don’t give a shit what you say, Mister President, we’re gonna open our damn states when we’re good and ready, and our friends Nevada, Oregon, Colorado, and Washington State agree! Also, we’ve decided to legalize weed!”

“But the Federal Government says it’s illegal!” shouts the other states.

“Fuck you, we make the drug laws in our state, and we say toke up!”

“Now, hang on!” shouts the Federal government. “You can legalize weed in your state, but all banks are federal agencies, so if your weed dispensaries set up bank accounts, those accounts have money from illegal practices in it and are subject to seizure by the federal government!”

“FINE!” shouts California. “Hey, weed guys, you can keep selling weed, but you can only deal in cash!”

“How the fuck is that supposed to work!?”

“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW, TAKE IT UP WITH DC!”

“By the way, if you’re gay married elsewhere, we won’t recognize it,” mutters Texas.

“OH FUCK YOUUUUUUU!” 

And so it goes and so it goes…

[quousque]

“What’s sales tax?” says Montana. “What’s road maintainence?” “also what’s a speed limit?”

[rosieholmeswatson]

i was born in the north (NJ, specifically), and have lived in the south (TN) for the past 6 years... my one requirement for where i go to college is ‘not the south...’

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Sniper Mary or Grown Up Rosie?

@rosieholmeswatson said: hi there! i’ve been using your fic recs for johnlock fics for ages, and I finally worked up the courage to ask… do you have any fics where it is revealed that mary was a sniper at the pool in TGG? on a seperate thought, do you have any fics with teen or grown rosie? thank you for your time and all your wonderful rec lists!

Hi Lovely!!

Ahhh, as we discussed in private, I sadly don’t don’t have recs for either of these things, so I can’t give you any personal recs, but hopefully this callout will help find us a couple fics! 

Does anyone have any they can recommend to us? <3

[silentauroriamthereal]

Hey @khorazir, thanks for mentioning my Rosie fic! It’s called Rosa Felicia (it’s a sequel to The Book of Silence, which is set when she’s still an infant). In this one, she’s 19 and in university. It’s a coming-of-age story that looks back at how her life was, growing up with Sherlock’s parents as her primary caregivers, looks at her relationships with her fathers, questions about sexuality, and then her shock as circumstances force her to learn the truth about who her mother was. The title stems (if I may!) from the many affectionate, botanical nicknames Sherlock uses for Rose, which is one of the little running themes I most liked about writing this one. :) 

I have a lot of stories where Mary is a sniper as background info, essentially, but not any where that’s the overt storyline. I do have several where she’s an overt, unapologetic villain, such as The King is Dead and Flesh and Blood and Bone and Heart, where she’s actively trying to take over Moriarty’s terrorist network now that he’s out of her way, if that fits the bill at all? 

[inevitably-johnlocked]

khorazir said: There’s one fic by @silentauroriamthereal that features grown-up Rosie. They may also have some sniper Mary ones.

reveling-in-mayhem said: There’s a sniper Mary in the John is an assassin series that I cannot think of the name of. He’s friends with 007.

Addicted to a Certain Lifestyle! That was making my crazy.

itzmi said: Limerence by SherlockWatson_Holmes has Mary at the pool, and it’s amazing!

cadencekismet said: Shoot, I definitely had a couple of “teen Rosie gets Sherlock and John together” fics bookmarked on my last computer

discordantwords Rosie is an adult in my retirementlock fic A Quiet Life (https://archiveofourown.org/works/17501693/chapters/41224970)

bluebellofbakerstreet added: The Winter Garden by Callie4180 ( @bakerstmel ) has uni-aged Rosie.  And it’s lovely.

gardnerhill said: How about Sniper Rosie? She grows up inheriting her mum’s shooting skill.

——-

Rosa Felicia by SilentAuror (M, 39,696 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4, Coming of Age, Family Drama, Identity, Long Talks, Loss of Virginity, First Time, Bisexuality) – Rose Watson-Holmes is eighteen and in her first year of university studying Food Science & Nutrition when events erupt in her life that force her to learn some things about her family’s history never previously revealed to her. A coming-of-age story. Part 2 of the The Book of Silence/Rosa Felicia

The King is Dead by SilentAuror (E, 40,898 w., 1 Ch. || S3 / HLV Fix-It, Romance, POV John, Drama) – Moriarty is dead. But has a new king risen to take his place? As John sorts out what to do about the AGRA memory stick and his marriage, he and Sherlock are investigating precisely who and what was behind the broadcast on New Year’s Day.

Flesh and Blood and Bone and Heart by SilentAuror (E, 59,990 w., 3 Ch. || Post S3/TAB Fix It, Romance, Terrorism, Bombs, Suspense, Kissing, Indfidelity, Murder, POV John) – As John takes Sherlock back to Baker Street rather than seeing him off to his mission in Serbia, Sherlock decides to reveal how very human he is, after all, and the fall-out will have enormous consequences for them both…

Addicted to a Certain Lifestyle by KatsatheGraceling (M, 22,751 w., 1 Ch. || James Bond Crossover || Bondlock, BAMF John, Assassin John, Q is a Holmes, Clueless Sherlock, Omniscient Mycroft) – The one where John is a BAMF assassin. With an affinity for cuddly warm jumpers.

A Quiet Life by DiscordantWords (M, 25,176 w., 6 Ch. || Post S4, Retirement, Family Dynamics, Established Relationship, Minor Character Death, Questionable Parenting Choices, Non-Linear Narrative) – There had been three days of silence and a funeral. Sherlock had the terrible feeling that whatever happened next would depend, entirely, on him.

The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching, Mycroft is Dying) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he’s given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing. Almost…magical.

——

Thanks guys! @rosieholmeswatson, here’s some fics to get you started!!

Please add more, all, if you’ve got them! <3

[rosieholmeswatson]

thanks again! im excited to read these!

[stay-close]

To whom do I owe the biggest apology? No one's been crueller than I've been to me.

— Alanis Morissette, "Sorry to Myself", Under Rug Swept

[artemisfowls]

[darlingbenny]

#these assholes lmao

[loryisunabletosupinate]

Can someone reblog this adding the gifs of lestrade listening politely?

[consultingpiskies]

Here you go. :D

[simplyclockwork]

petition for Mrs. Hudson to be Greg’s landlady, because he actually appreciates her and Sherlock and John are both spoiled brats. 

[iris-best-taken-in-small-doses]

Then there’s Mycroft, who’s never even lived in the house.

This is some consolation though, innit?

[tea-at-221]

Lestrade’s like I would like to learn how to do my colors

[sarahthecoat]

i love how john & sherlock close ranks with her against mycroft though.

[simplyclockwork]

John’s ‘oi!’ as he immediately straightens his spine like, lil bitch, I will soldier your ass out the bloody window

[rosieholmeswatson]

this just in: my brother scrambled all my rubix cubes because he was pissed at me

[incurablylazydevil]

for anon:

[thelostsmiles]

[happierstill]

Sherlock’s secret half smile when John does something he approves of.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Mary from the Bible was a witch and she had an affair while engaged to Abraham and she found out she was pregnant with Jesus so, she enchanted a feather and put it inside Abraham’s pillow so that when he slept, an angel would tell him God did the do and Mary wasn’t a cheater, and because Mary was a witch, Jesus also had powers and that’s how he did the miracles. One day Abraham found out the truth about Mary being a witch, so he asked her to make their family rich. When she said that it wasn’t possible for her to do that, he turned her in, but the church didn’t believe him so they stoned him to death.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

People replying to this correcting the information in the post please realize that this was somebody’s dream and doesn’t have to make sense or follow any canon

[reyarey]

I love the concept of referring to details of the bible as canon.

[achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily]

…thats what the word “canon” refers to?? Like, the academic term is Biblical Canon. That’s how fandom got the word

[one-time-i-dreamt]

That’s why I called it canon! Jesus stans pls read carefully, everyone else also please read carefully!

[the-og-plant]

I’m only calling Christians Jesus stans now. Sorry, I don’t make the rules I only enforce them

[rosieholmeswatson]

*bill wurtz voice* you could make a religion out of this

[inevitably-johnlocked]

When did amanda say she ships johnlock? At which point did she change her mind?

Hey Nonny!

Ah, I think in the early days she did, and later retracted it when Johnlock became the primary fandom. Not 100 on this, since it was all on Twitter and I only use Twitter to promote my fic lists, c’est ça.

[rosieholmeswatson]

she also did a instagram live recently, a week ago perhaps, and she said that she ships johnlock again because, and i quote, “because i’ve grown up and i’m not a prick”

an absolute queen.

[valtsv]

my esteemed rival,

[valtsv]

my beloved nemesis,

[valtsv]

dearly detested,

[rosieholmeswatson]

respond to the damn death threats already i’m boreddddddd

[irisannwest]

do you ever

do you ever just have

that one class

that one freaking class

that just depresses you when you think about it because

oh god you hate it so much

[vrixie]

The bourgeoisie

[simplyclockwork]

def the bourgeoisie 

[rosieholmeswatson]

my grievances are with the aristocracy... the bourgeoisie in britain were pretty woke in the industrial revolution, repealing the corn laws and shit

[kajaono]

People who are against canon Johnlock allways says: Stop making everything gay these days. It was not in the book.” Apart from the fact that Adlock and Molly also weren’t in the orginial books….

IF you completly follow the books and show a) John fainiting when seeing Sherlock back from the deaths and constantly touching him to make sure he isn’t a ghost, b) Sherlock ripping down Johns pants and John giving the “great heart behind great mind speech” and c) Sherlock and John holding hands behind closed curtains

…they would complain that it is too gay

Like… stop being hypocritical. If you want the orginial books, you get the orginial books and those are gay

[mydearestfellow]

[rosieholmeswatson]

cue sherlock drinking his homosexuali-TEA

[rosieholmeswatson]

quarantine quote 004

me: *trying to explain the word 'relative'* ok name something that's hot

my sister: me

me:

my sister:

me:

me: for the sake of the explanation, pick something else

[rosieholmeswatson]

quarantine quotes #003

My mom: what rhymes with bagels

dad: ...

sister: ...

my brother and i at the same time: shmagels

[rosieholmeswatson]

He is 14 years old and STILL complaining about the fact that I made him watch Nanny McPhee and traumatized him.

my mother, quarantine quotes #2