We're all mad here.

I have no idea what i'm doing.

[jaubaius]

Woah. Nice!

[white-throated-packrat]

“Here’s my chicken wondering what I’m doing” 🐔 ❓ ❓

[ms-demeanor]

I’ve never seen such a succinct explanation of how to train up to going *any* flag exercise and i love it.

[millesbianforce]

Honestly my sense of humor is just based around those fake tombstones with puns on them you see around Halloween like that's it

[millesbianforce]

Fake tombstone: "Barry D. Alive" "Rattle M. Bones"

Me in line for the haunted house at the amusement park:

[pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird]

Tracking Service, as helpfully as possible: Your order is out for delivery! It should arrive by 8 PM today!

Me, sitting by the door at 8:12 AM: pakige

[thegreekgamer]

Me opening my apartment door anytime I hear the outside door open despite it being 10AM: Böx?

[sleeplessedenofficial]

envelööp?

[requinoesis]

After quite a while, I finally managed to adapt these fun shark anatomy illustrations to Redbubble products! Many asked me to make posters or art prints available for sale and it is now possible in my little store! This is my store’s profile! ✨

I tried to adapt these arts to other products, but I think they were very ugly, so focus on looking for poster, art print or stickers options! I hope you like it and that the price offered by Redbubble is affordable! 

In the future I want to make other species of sharks! Thanks a lot for all support! ✨ If you want to follow me on instagram, this is: @AstralRequin Edit: I am very glad with the support of all of you! I really appreciate the sweet comments and tags, especially from those who said that my art helped to reduce their fears about sharks, I hope to always inspire people in that way! Thanks a lot!  ✨

[natsujutsu]

Toonami:

Black Lives Matter.

[mykey-20]

[takeyourmascoff]

Fucking TOONAMI. I’m about to cry. My childhood just spoke some deep as truth.

[autogynephiladelphia]

Tony Hawk is like fucking Perry the Platypus because if I saw him without a skateboard I'd be like "A man" and the second he picks up a skateboard I'd be like "TONY HAWK?!?!?!?!?!"

[therealraewest]

This basically sums up all his tweets

[corneliusmann]

[surprisebitch]

pancakes are made of eggs omfg

[yourladyindank]

Y’all are crazy if you think a chicken won’t happily eat eggs. Y’all insane if you think a chicken won’t tear some nuggets UP. You are ON CRACK if you think a chicken won’t just, eat another injured chicken

[black-girl-against-feminism]

Me and some friends were collecting eggs on this farm. We dropped one of them and they went absolutely apeshit over that damn egg. Not even the shell was left.

[kayrowsyrup]

I know people think chickens are herbivores but they absolutely aren’t.

Chickens are omnivores. They eat meat, they eat eat all sorts of fruits and vegetables.

This isn’t really well known to people who live off of farms or who have never spent time on one. It’s also thanks to tv and movies not showing this side of chickens.

[jabberwockypie]

It’s why eggs and chicken meat saying they come from “free-range vegetarian chickens” are HILARIOUS, because if they’re free-range, you can’t control that, and the tiny dinosaurs ARE going to eat a lot of things. And if a mouse meets an early demise because it came near the tiny dinosaurs … ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[systlin]

As a kid I once threw the neighbor’s chickens a chicken nugget just to see what would happen.

Answer; they fuckin demolished it. Tore it apart and wolfed it down in seconds. 

[space-lord-joe-kewl]

Rose tinted chicken glasses used to be a very common invention for chickens, because if they saw a speck of blood on another chicken they would gang up on it and murder it to death and feast on it.

Actual piranhas don’t act like Hollywood piranhas.

Chickens, however, do act like Hollywood piranhas. Those fuckers get a taste for blood and they become fucking ravenous fiends. They’re still very much dinosaur.

[cheshireinthemiddle]

Pancakes are looking a little tame, huh?

[tulparightsactivist]

[queerspacetheory]

[starkswhee-deactivated20230108]

[marcys-mareep]

does this mean finn’s backpack is red to him, and BMO is red too? Is the treehouse red to him??

[bigbossqueenpoison-archived-dea]

Fin is Red Green color blind, most people who are red green color blind are white males. 

(via)

[cosmic-philanthropy]

I was wondering why all the comparison pictures were the same, then I remembered I’m colourblind…

[catrinecat]

^^^ I’m sorry but I did a good hardy evil laugh from reading that

[whitepeopletwitter]

[vaporwavesimulator]

imagine youre at an art museum and you see me get thrown out of a painting like when mario dies in mario 64

[joshsundquist]

I made a fake disability ID card does that make me a bad person

[killorbekillian]

“We were in Europe a couple years ago and we went to this museum and I went up to the ticket taker and I was like, ‘Hey, I read on your website that you let people with disabilities come to the museum for free?’ And she was like, ‘Yes, but I’m gonna need to see some ID proving that you have a disability.’ And I was like, ‘What do… I mean, I have one leg.’ And she’s like, ‘Yeah yeah, but do you have disability ID proving..?’ I was like, ‘I don’t - I mean, do you think this is an optical illusion?  Or like an elaborate costume I’ve created to get into your museum for free?’ She’s like, ‘Alright, I’ll let it slide just this once, but next time, make sure you have the ID.’

“Now it turns out that in Europe they do have these disability ID cards. We don’t have anything quite like it in the United States, but we went back to Europe the next year and we wanted to go to that museum again, so before we did, I printed off this, like, fake disability card. [Laughing] It’s just an American flag and a disability symbol. We went back to that museum, I showed them the card, they’re like, ‘Oh great. Yeah, go on in, for free, to our museum.’“

[nonasuch]

batman: what’s the situation?

commissioner gordon: Harley and Ivy have hijacked an AM radio station and taken the employees hostage

batman: what are their demands?

commissioner gordon: they haven’t issued any. they, uh.

batman:

[commisioner gordon turns on the radio]

harley: —you gotta walk away, sweetie. His family sounds completely toxic, if not outright emotionally abusive, and he’s too enmeshed to see it.

caller: no, you’re right. you’re right. I gotta do it.

harley: you got this, honey. now, stay on the line a minute, I’m writing down some the names of some books for you and you can get those from Ivy after we’re done. okay! our next caller —

[commisioner gordon turns off the radio]

batman: what station is this?

commisioner gordon: WGTM.

batman: the one that rebroadcasts rush limbaugh?

commissioner gordon:

batman:

commisioner gordon: you know what, i probably didn’t need to call you for this.

[tygermama]

I WOULD PAY MONEY FOR RADIO SHRINK HARLEY OKAY? I WOULD CALL RADIO SHRINK HARLEY OKAY?

[thequantumqueer]

“alright, babe, one more reminder that my license was revoked which means i have to tell you this as your friend and not as a mental health professional: you have two options here. one of them is safe, legal, and healthy, and will have lasting long term benefits. the other one is fun.”

[nonasuch]

reblogging for this extremely accurate addition.

[powersandplanetaries]

Ivy’s segment is where people call in to ask why their succulent is dying and she yells at them for watering it too much.

[nonasuch]

oh, VERY good

[empressofthelibrary]

A few weeks in Selina gets dragged into it, and starts offering advice on caring for cats with special dietary needs and stuff. It inevitably turns into Jackson-Galaxy-esque explinations.

"My cat keeps attacking my feet."

"How often do you play with him?"

"Not as much as I should, but he has a basket of toys right there where he can reach it."

"He wants to play with you. Grab a teaser toy or a laser pointer and go nuts. He'll wear himself out in about fifteen minutes and you can go back to work."

[nonasuch]

great, now i actively want someone to start a podcast that’s just in-character episodes of batman villain radio shows

[sparkyle]

My thing during quarantine is to recreate Pokemon in Spore

[sparkyle]

I see that you guys LOVED IT so I decided to add more!

[steadfast-deactivated20191017]

When people find out that my dog is afraid of men: Oh, the poor thing must have been traumatized when she was younger! Poor baby, I just want to hold and comfort her and let her know she’s safe.

When people find out that I, an adult human woman, am afraid of men: Um, not *all* men, sweetie. You can’t go your whole life being afraid. Get over it.

When my dog was allowed to get a hysterectomy: She doesn’t need to have puppies to have a happy, healthy like with her adoptive family.

When I, an adult human woman, want to get a hysterectomy: But having children will make you happy! You might change your mind!

[thytressesburn]

People misgendering a dog: Oh my god I’m sorry it wasn’t intentional! I didn’t know :/

People misgendering a trans person: Uuuuh idc get over it

[nonasuch]

I wanna hear these Opinions on steampunk color palettes, if you’re willing.

tbh “the Victorians did not go to the trouble of inventing aniline dyes so that we could wear neutrals” mostly covers it?

they went to a lot of effort to bring affordable screaming bright fuchsias and acid greens into the world, and we should honor their tacky, tacky choices.

[captainlordauditor]

let’s not forget the tacky patterns, too

oh yeah

oh fuck yeah

(TELL ME that last one isn’t a steampunk look. just try and tell me)

[nonasuch]

yes! thank you, these are EXACTLY what i meant. tomorrow I’ll take a picture of the bafflingly tacky goldenrod-and-maroon gown I’ve got at the shop

also

this is wise, and correct.

[gothiccharmschool]

This is 100% true.

[squeeful]

Oh no, no those are tasteful compared to what wild color shenanigans the 19th century got up to.  Most of them being mid-century are only ~2 colors excepting the plaid.  By the 1890s, five colors per dress was the fashion.  They…didn’t all coordinate the way we would.  

PUMPKIN WORTH

I have seen mid-century dresses in electric blue.  Barbie pink

Black with photo-realistic brocade oranges.  Royal purple with GIANT POLKA DOTS.

Hey hey did you know lime green and lavender was a favorite color combo in 1895?

This one is not so much tacky as…vibrant

Okay at ~1903 it’s not really Victorian but I love the melting ice cream explosion look of it

This dress has faded but it would have originally been a quite eye-catching shade of violet.

Not that past eras were any less fond of colors even if they weren’t artificial dyes.  I’ve seen canary yellow Regency dresses and an 18th century man’s coat in turquoise velvet printed with leopard spots.  Steampunk isn’t really Victorian so much as it is ‘drapery store vomited on a sexy colorblind school marm’

Et le piece de resistance…

Yes, those orange blocks are outlined in green chenille fringe.

[nonasuch]

brb, saving that green one to my ‘Malfoy estate sale’ pinterest board

[star-anise]

Steampunk isn’t really Victorian so much as it is ‘drapery store vomited on a sexy colorblind school marm’

[systlin]

Pair a brightass fushia dress with a top hat and gears you cowards

MORE PUMPKIN ORANGE AND FRINGE YOU COWARDS

If you’re not using blood red and forty pounds of lace and trim what the fuck are you even playing at

[gehayi]

The Pragmatic Costumer calls this “The Hot Mess Dress.” It dates from around 1878. They say: “This dress has more trims than my entire collection of detash combined (detash or destash means all the little bits, pieces, and leftovers from crafting something)! On the outside alone I spot: black lace, bi-colored sandy-brown/cornflower-blue ruffles, tawny velvet, cream silk, beaded netting, cream lace, ribbon bows, ribbon rosettes, cornflower-blue buttons, and that fluffy lace collar.  For even more trim-tastic fun and draping pandemonium, here’s a shot of the back:”

The Pragmatic Costumer: “Trims were all the rage in the mid 1870s and 1880s, and this dress is raging harder, faster, and more extravagantly than most.”

And here’s a Worth tea gown from 1895. This really needs to be worn by a mad scientist. Especially one interested in fish.

[theeinkibus]

@gwengrimm Some of these are just amazing, and others sink worse than the sink we just unclogged.

[gwengrimm]

I would wear that bright orange pumpkin monstrosity, just saying 🤣

[dancing-thru-clouds]

Is this the point where I tell you that I found a book with knitted and crocheted lace patterns from the Victorian era?

[daniel-oneiroi]

that orange and green chenille one os proof that someone had lead poisoning and somehow launched forward to the early 1970s, snapped back like a rubber band, and went I HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE, AND IT IS OLIVE AND TANGERINE

[systlin]

TBH I would wear a solid half of these, and that 1895 Worth tea gown in green is my dream Worth dress. That blood red and gold one I posted is also a dream dress, tbh.

That orange and green chenille one is not one of those that I would wear. 

But yeah, the Victorians invented Aniline dyes and went absolutely wild with them, and we owe it to our great great grandparents to not dress in neutrals all day.

[did-you-know]

Scientists invented fabric that makes electricity from motion and sunlight. To create the fabric, researchers at Georgia Tech wove together solar cell fibers with materials that generate power from movement. It could be used in “tents, curtains, or wearable garments,” meaning we’d virtually never be without power. Source

[fridjitzu]

[scarletgoldenthorn]

Y'all are fucking idiots. Clean energy will NEVER be enough to replace the energy we have now. We’d have to tear down DOZENS of forests just to fit enough windmills and solar panels to get even a QUARTER (probably less, tbh) of the energy we can produce now.

[deniedmysign]

Yeah, sure, when they’ve already calculated that a few square miles of panels in the empty ass Arizona desert could power the whole nation. But ok, fracking and the diminishing petroleum supply is worlds better.

[inushiek]

Nevermind that windmills are often most efficient off the coast. There they take up no land, impact no trees, don’t pollute the water, and are conveniently located where winds are often strongest anyway.

And solar panels can literally be built into roofs of buildings and in empty areas like deserts. The sun strikes the Earth with the same amount of energy in an hour that our civilization uses in a year.

But yeah, it would be impossible for us to ever have enough energy from clean sources.

Durr hurr technology is bad and I would rather light shit on fire than have clean energy

[mllemusketeer]

I can also testify to the Arizona desert being empty ass. And the California desert. And the Nevada desert. 

[greaseonmymouth]

also…no forests were cleared to make space for Denmark’s windmills and yet they regularly produce so much power that it covers almost all of the country’s power needs. Oh, and then there’s the times when the windmills generate 140% of Denmark’s power needs. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/jul/10/denmark-wind-windfarm-power-exceed-electricity-demand

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Friendly reminder that oil pipelines are a scam.

[blackwoolncrown]

The fact that anyone can believe a limited amount of dinosaur oil is more plentiful and efficient than moving air or fucking sunlight is proof that entire populations can be completely brainwashed.

[mckitterick]

And don’t forget wave and geothermal power.

The best place to install solar? Parking lots! Here’s the Community Mercantile in LFK:

Not only can it supply almost all the power needed for stores that build these, it also reduces ambient heating from the roasting pavement and keeps cars covered from the elements.

Everyone wins!

[solarpunkcast]

The ways we can produce sustainable, renewable energy grow by the year. There is zero reason to keep maintaining oil and natural gas industries!

[thepunkprophet]

The only reason we still use fossil fuels is that rich people are selfish.

[ladyacadementia]

The only reason we still use fossil fuels is that rich people are selfish.

[mishi-mish-mosh]

My uncle, Greg Nielson is one of the people who made fucking SOLAR PANELS into the size of GLITTER. I think I remember him saying they could go in paint, meaning you can paint CARS and BUILDINGS with them. Do you understand how much energy we could get some only a few square feet alone?

Here are some articles about them!

Brilliant 10: Greg Nielson Shrinks Solar Cells To The Size Of Glitter

Glitter-sized solar photovoltaics produce competitive results

Sandia National Laboratories scientists have developed tiny glitter-sized photovoltaic cells that could revolutionize the way solar energy i

[mishi-mish-mosh]

I would like to politely add that these glitter solar cells have been around since about 2009. So about 11 years. Just sayin.

[wir-click-wir]

[fridaphile]

this is by jane hogben pottery uk, she makes such cute stuff!