Salome, but like, funnier

Gotta put the tomfoolery somewhere. Nonsense sideblog of @salomeslashes

[homunculus-argument]

What would the evil opposite of eucalyptus be like?

What the fuck is dyscalyptus?

[maybe-the-real-language]

The "-calyptus" part means "covered", so eucalyptus's opposite would be something that's 1. naked and 2. bad at it

[aaami]

"I like using ai"

[escuerzoresucitado]

[stitchthisfiona]

Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later

[cleolinda]

[cleolinda]

[lotus0kid]

[lotus0kid]

[pomme-poire-peche]

[lotus0kid]

[sashaforthewin]

[teaboot]

Layering my Short Skirt, Long Jacket (CAKE) over my White Tee (CORPSE) and Blue Jeans (Lana Del Ray) Knee Socks (Arctic Monkeys) and Blue Suede Shoes (Elvis) and then putting on my Raspberry Beret (Prince) before I head out to the Bard Olympics where I am disqualified for performance-enhancing power buffs. On my way home I am cast as a sassy but cute side character in an early 2010's Disney Channel original series. I look fresh as hell

[teaboot]

Haters Call Me Bitch Tits The Clown

[dashcon]

How big is the ball pit area going to be?

I don’t know the exact dimensions right now, okay

[mayflame15]

[yo-its-matt]

world heritage post

[that-one-fat-guy-over-there]

Reading this post is like walking into a civil war reenactment only to realize you accidentally time travelled to the real civil War

[suriandtaal]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[mingpicket]

kink: deleting someone’s pointless comment by reblogging the post from the same person they did

[yzghuldar]

I mean, that’s censorship but okay.

[nutsacktorturer]

ksvskwbidbwkdbskbsjw

[king-of-the-freeway]

[tetrafelino]

[monsterbutch]

this is one of my favorite reddit posts of all time

[formlessdemi]

God forbid Chippy do anything

[randomdeinonychus]

You absolutely must unmute this video.

[gummybearattacktheworldofdespair]

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

[littolgayfish]

the more you listen to it, the funnier it gets

[boogerwookiesugarcookie]

Audio: dramatic piano. The husky screams along, vaguely keeping the rhythm but not the tune

[mad-at-the-dirt]

today i am thinking about Holly who in 5th grade loaned me her Garfield comic books on which she had drawn a cock and balls on every Garfield and Odie in the entire book

[sadgi]

can I get a job as an editor but the only thing I do is correct when someone uses the word "prone" when they mean "supine"

[sadgi]

thank you wikipedia for this really good image

[sadgi]

a helpful mnemonic for everyone

[talkwithtatsu]

too good for tags

[headspace-hotel]

This mnemonic has a permanent place in my life.

Every time in yoga class when my instructor would say "now get into a prone position" I would think "ah yes on your pronis"

[nebulae-d]

"okay, but are you a nonbinary woman or a nonbinary man" im going to nonbury you in a fucking hole.

[vee-dmsr]

[nattousan]

*doom music starts to play* I actually kindof like scheduling these kinds of appointments now...

but seriously Fellas, don't forget to schedule a cervical cancer screening every couple of years just in case. If you still have a cervix you can still get cervical cancer. ilu

this has been a psa

[twirlingfreckles]

The thing about being a tumblrina is that you provide such valuable contributions to the broader internet ecosystem and you get zero compensation for that. They should be giving us airline miles

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

If we were the type to need airline miles we wouldn't be spending so much time on Tumblr

[salomemes]

The airline miles are so we can visit our mutuals.

[asundergrowth]

[nyxiemeow]

[windoftime]