Z

They/them, bisexual, what even is my life anymore

[sandersauce]

decided to start posting on tumblr, finally, because twitter is,,, a mess rn tbh. so uh. gay monkeys kissing, enjoy

[porcelain-dollbones]

snakes really make you appreciate how gross mammals really are. squamates are very dry and clean

[porcelain-dollbones]

a bird is a kind of reptile that has learned to be yucky.

[thottistani-deactivated20220220]

No gay has all 5:

- A job

- Good relationship with father

- Neurotypical brain

- Ability to top

- Driver’s license

[garbage-empress]

this is a fun post because people will say how many they have in the tags then you get to figure out which ones.

[t4timekeeper]

ACCIDENTALLY LEFT MY MACERATED APPLE SYRUP ON THE STOVE AND IT CARAMELIZED I GUESS?

[t4timekeeper]

it was super thick and dark and golden and bubbly so i took it off the heat. happy accident.

[t4timekeeper]

tastes delicious so good. idk what to do with it though

[t4timekeeper]

thank you for your recommendation! with brief consideration, it has been disregarded.

[tabloidsores]

Does anyone have the fucking post where it's a screenshot of someone googling john wick scenes but it's like "his focking name is beb yegah - jam wick scene" I feel like I'm being gaslit by tumblr search

[tabloidsores]

Fucking. Found it

[aimless-existences]

"spam like = blocked" if you spam like me i am going to cast 1000 protection spells on you so nothing bad happens to you ever

[pride-knightess]

choking a girl's dick is known to improve mental health btw

[pride-knightess]

ON. ON a girl's dick.

I can't stress enough ON.

[pride-knightess]

No!!!!

[pride-knightess]

😭

[iicaru2]

my personal favorite contribution.

[probuccalfat]

i’m printing this out and i’m putting it on the mirror so i can confront myself with it

[byjove]

this cavefish has a concept of the passage of time that no other living animal could fathom

[bluttto]

“Everyone has the same 24h” yeah right buddy say that to cavefish

[byjove]

almost all animals have set activity and rest patterns and this guy does whatever whenever

[lakevida]

the menstrual cup and menstrual scepter

[lakevida]

your majesty what is upppp

[killerlizardsfromouterspace]

[discordsparkle]

They didn’t make it

[a-fucking-velociraptor]

original post [x]

[dajo42]

this is the happiest day of my life

[laloon]

[keranos-god-of-storm-crows]

Too soon

[saheeli-rais-wife]

65 million years…

[randomslasher]

Don’t worry, guys. Carl is clearly a brachiosaurus, which lived during the Jurassic period. (And before anyone says our lil’ boy Steve is a velociraptor and therefore puts our comic in the late cretaceous, aka the time of the comet–that lil guy could easily be a compsognathus or a caudipteryx, both Jurassic-era species of small theropod dinosaurs. So the light getting bigger every night is going to pass by harmlessly, and Steve and Carl can go on enjoying the stars together until they die of old age, since Carl has very few natural predators at his size and I bet he’ll protect Steve, if he needs it (though small, fast and carnivorous as Steve is, he probably won’t). 

So it’s all good!! 

[gardenofroseandthorn]

That entire response explaining how these two characters didn’t die a fiery death but instead lived long and happy lives literally made my day.

[amurderofkittens]

I was ready to be heartbroken again. Thank you for making it happy after all.

[valentinetheeviljester]

Maybe lean out

[valentinetheeviljester]

[bill-cipher-offical]

🍿

[jyunkyard]

That’s HIS tumblr sexyman ok

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[chemicalico]

who wanna be friends with drawbacks

[eatthekidsfirst]

friends with consequences