[pansyfemme]

yes im addicted to attention and orgasms and food and shiny jewlery and 7$ Iced Lattes. does that really not sound like an awesome lifestyle to you

[rotvn]

no one appreciates that i could be a million times worse

[hopeless-eccentric]

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

[heavensghost]

Words by Mary Oliver engraved in rock

[redstonedust]

im a simple man i like when things are shaped like other things. stool shaped like a mushroom. pillows shaped like fruit. salt and pepper shaker shaped like two friends hugging. in my ideal world i will have a house stocked entirely with novelty objects shaped like other objects and it will be beautiful.

[transjudas]

never take for granted the moments when you’re not nauseous

[kaylmao]

work like a red onion

play like a white onion

fuck like a green onion

[greelin]

the way this video never ceases to make me genuinely lose my mind for some reason

[joycomplexx]

by the way it's fine to like sexual content just for the sake of it. "we can't ban porn because other stuff will get banned" "sometimes nude art has value" "the government will classify queer people as sexual" this is all true but it's okay to just like porn. its okay to not want porn to be banned because you like it.

[bettyrightnow]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to put no effort into my appearance

[greelin]

[as if this is not a normal and natural human thing to want] yeah i just really want to connect with people for some reason. Like some weird loser freak

[pukicho]

Here's my little white son named Craigg

[pukicho]

I feed my white son clear broth

[pukicho]

[devourallusurvey-deactivated202]

You ever think about many peices of media have zero women and thats just perfectly normal but if a peice of media has an all female cast people get... like that? Women should be allowed to kill over this btw

[loveshoplifter]

same but it's black people

[devourallusurvey-deactivated202]

That's right

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[isawken]

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

[jurassicpeanut]

No bond stronger than a disabled girl and her disabled cat

[sashayed]

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

[sashayed]

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

[mlarayoukai]

life changing tweet