.....

24 | she/her | sapphic | tiny goblin living in grandma's porcelain saucière

[plantnerderyallday]

Annual deer post:

If you see a fawn laying down on the ground all alone, leave it alone. It is not lost, it does not need your help, do not pick it up, do not move it.

This behavior evolved to keep deer young safe. The baby is very small, very quiet, and hard for most predators to see. A young fawn cannot keep up with a fleeing mother deer, which is their primary problem-solving strategy. So while the mother goes elsewhere to graze, the fawn stays safe and hidden. The mom will be back.

Leave the fawn alone.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

This is always good to pass around this time of year, but I would like to add something for the few of us who might be encountering the moose kind of deer.

Moose are deer, but moose have the opposite strategy. They stay close to their babies, and their primary response for anything getting close to their babies is immediate violent murder. If you do see a baby moose by itself, leave. Leave the baby alone and leave the area, preferably quickly. Momma is at most 30 yards away and has already kicked on the kill bill sirens.

[picturesoffishandotherthings]

Same for hares too! They leave their young in the tall grass or bushes to hide.

Also: unless that baby bird you see doesn't have feathers, leave it too.

Do not touch wildlife. If you see a wild animal and think it's in distress or needs help, call a professional first. They'll know about local wildlife and if an animal would need help or not.

[the-haiku-bot]

Same for hares too! They

leave their young in the tall grass

or bushes to hide.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[1000-life-hacks]

[archeologist-prophet]

Lovely to see we have spaces where you can gain access to so much literature!

[weedp4nties]

Please do not shut up about trans women's blogs being terminated disproportionately. You have to care more about speaking out against this. You have to care more about the girls that have been termed to oblivion. You have to care more about the girls that haven't come back. You have to care more about trans women.

Don't let them get away with it!

[fishtrouts]

Always a good time to burn down yet another village!

Patreon

[jordanbolton]

To The Substitute Art Teacher - Jordan Bolton

Subscribe to my Patreon to get early access to new comics alongside much more!

[divorcedbasil]

vid i stole off reddit and feel like i need everyone to watch

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

This is a really fantastic return to form for this genre of post. In recent years there's been less and less effort put into this vital aspect of internet culture, it's nice to see a return to the truly artisanal work of the late 00s.

[phinarei]

Now THIS is what the internet exists for. I was LOCKED IN the whole time.

[lierdumoa]

I hate how these twitter rejects keep importing their shitty tagging culture into tumblr. Why the fuck are you putting a heated rivalry tag on photos of Hudson Williams doing modeling in Milan? This is like posting a paparazzi photo of Keanu Reeves walking a dog and tagging it #the matrix reloaded. What are you doing?

They're doing this shit on AO3 too, putting the Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov ship tag on Actor RPF fic. Stop that shit!

Everyone is behaving like the fucking broken google search algorithm, trying to force you to look at shit that has nothing to do with what you actually searched for "based on your likes." I am begging y'all to stop trying to get a good grade in predatory SEO. Please just tag things like you're a human being trying to share common interests with other human beings.

[foldingfittedsheets]

This but also you can report the post/blog as spam if you see that shit. It’s actively a violation on tumblr and folks need to knock it off.

I follow the BG3 tag and there’s always a bunch of non related stuff popping up because people want to boost eyes but that is not the way to do it.

[smoooothbrain]

do you ever think about how if you dive into the ocean and go deeper and deeper you will pass through layers of darker and darker blue until everything is black and cold and the pressure will be so intense that it will kill you without protection but if you keep going you will find little glowing specks of light, and if you go up into the sky and go higher and higher you will pass through layers of darker and darker blue until everything is black and cold and the pressure will be so intense that it will kill you without protection but if you keep going you will find little glowing specks of light

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[mylordshesacactus]

So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.

[mylordshesacactus]

The rules of Gay Pirate Plate are simple by the way.

The plate must be clearly and openly displayed in a place of great prominence whenever it is in your possession. When it is not in your possession, the display piece must remain in place. This is where you would put your gay pirate plate, IF YOU HAD ONE.

No active steps may be taken to prevent the theft of the Gay Pirate Plate. That goes against the spirit of the game, as does attempting to hide it.

The plate MUST be stolen and cannot be gifted or removed with permission. Should you witness attempted theft of the Gay Pirate Plate you are required to intervene and return it to its place.

Every time your sibling successfully absconds with the Gay Pirate Plate, you must respond with indignant fury, as if you have not also repeatedly and blatantly stolen the Gay Pirate Plate.

[mylordshesacactus]

WOE

PLATE BE UPON YE

[mylordshesacactus]

STATUS UPDATE

I texted this image to my family at around 2am their time last night and woke up to appropriately indignant messages about theft, betrayal, etc.

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[aconiteandausten]

somehow haven't seen anyone point this one out yet??

[gay-kat-in-ur-puter]

Also known as the squeeze zone

[biggestgeekintown]

[lizardho]

I remember one time I was doing an ADHD evaluation with a kid who had asked to go to the bathroom like 3 times during the 30-ish minute part of the interview where we asked his mom questions, so I knew that was his go-to excuse when bored. We get started on the WISC-V after the interview and within 30 seconds of vocab starting he asks if he can go to the bathroom, and I say:

“No.”

And this kid rolls his eyes because DUH and he says “Why not?” all cranky-styles, so I said

“Because you don’t need to go to the bathroom, you’re bored and you need to move. If you need to move, tell me and I’ll let you know if we’re at a part of the test where we can pause. Like, for example, we can pause right now if you wanna race me around the building.”

And this kids face fucken LIT up. We did three laps around the outside of the building and came back in and he finished like 3 subtests and asked if he could move so we got up and tried to see how high we could jump for 3 minutes and the finished the rest of the assessment with one bathroom break. And that was all it took tbh, this kid was SO capable he just needed to move and hadn’t been allowed to do so before. I also like making people mad by pointing out that I know what they’re up to, then just giving them permission to do the thing they were sneakily trying to do in the first place. It’s like being affectionately annoying and it’s part of how I connect to others.

[kusali]

When people say rape is about power and not sex it would help to specify that this means rape is facilitated by (including but not limited to) the power men have over women, the power adults have over children etc and not that it means sexual desire is never a motivator for perpetrators

[kusali]

"Rape is about power, not sex" is meant to orient our thinking away from sexual desire as a cause - because sexual desire is completely fine and value neutral - and towards looking at how sexual assault is possible in the first place, but a lot of people literally think "people never perpetrate sexual assault because they want sex, they only do it because they want to have control over and inflict harm on someone" which is simply not true at all

[theaspecyear]

People need to understand that the point ISN’T “being single is not a failure if you’re aromantic”, the point is being single is not a failure full stop.

You can be allo and be single; it’s allowed. You feeling attraction doesn’t mean your priority NEEDS to be finding romance (it can be! But it also can not).

Being single should be normalized no matter what your romantic/sexual orientation is. It isn’t a tragedy.

[theaspecyear]

Oh absolutely! The virgin loser narrative needs to cease its existence yesterday

[yardsards]

[ID: #and if i may add: same goes for having little or no sexual experience]

[byjove]

It is so hysterically funny to me that homophobic Christians behave like marriage is a Christianity exclusive concept and that is why gay marriage shouldn’t exist. Genuinely out there acting like Jesus invented marriage and it’s not a cultural universal that has existed since before the beginning of written language. Not just in societies that practiced monotheistic abrahamic religions, it was a thing in Mesopotamia. You do not get to act like the Christian concept of marriage is the only valid concept of marriage. It entered the game late.

[byjove]

me: monotheistic religions are not the only religions that practice marriage. also, it is totally divorced from religion in many cultures and it is a legal binding in the US, not a religious one. marriage predates Christianity and the concept of marriage is older than the Christian sacrament of marriage.

Christians in the notes for some reason: you refuse to acknowledge the Old Testament? you put extinct polytheistic religions above monotheism? you’re mocking my religion you asshole? you think Christian marriage isn’t valid and want to dissolve all Christian marriages? you hate God?

[bewbin]

there used to be this giant book that was shipped to everybodies home whiched doxxed everybody in the city

[crazycatsiren]

And we used to look through them for fun, or for prank calling our crushes.

[the-haiku-bot]

And we used to look

through them for fun, or for prank

calling our crushes.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.