alexander the chemistry grad

Feat. Lame Jokes & Random Facts

[beardedmrbean]

Just dudes bein bros

[guerrillatech]

[christopher575]

[thedeadmemereturns]

This is a fucking adventure

[prince-sarah]

[einsatzgroping-deactivated20220]

The Tolkien society is mad that someone used an image they have a copyright on because they bought the physical copy and God fuck the Tolkien society so hard.

[tophthegoph]

Holy shit they made a Tolkien nft

[sapokanikan]

non-fungible tolkien

[vaticanomenon]

Anyways. Here’s the full image. It cost me £0

[vaticanomenon]

Now we have the set. That’ll be £0 each.

[sronti]

"non-fungible tolkien"

I am dead

[lordtableshark]

[memeclassheroes]

[queensboro]

[tonyalmeida]

[toastbutteregg]

[butchdotgov]

Millennial Sisyphus keeps entering all the information from his resume into the web form, only for it to delete everything when he tries to move to the next page. He just goes back and types it all up again, over and over again, forever, and he never gets a job.

[crystalandrock]

Millennial Tantalus has been promised that his unpaid internship will become a paid position as soon as the company has space for him. Every week he sees their new job posting. Every week he asks his boss if he can have a real job. The boss shrugs apologetically and says he’ll just have to make do with being paid in experience a little longer. He goes back and keeps working, over and over again, forever, and he never reaches the fruits of his labors.

[fiftysevenacademics]

Millennial Persephone can’t get a job without a degree, but because she had to take out loans to pay for college, she must spend 1/3 of her life working just to pay them off.

[sci-fantasy]

Millennial Cassandra’s title is Social Media Coordinator, she was hired to be the expert, but every time she tries to explain the problems in her company’s social media decisionmaking, the managers don’t listen…and end up hiring expensive PR flacks to repair the damage to their reputation when things blow up exactly as she predicted.

[necrofuturism]

Millennial Medusa uses multiple shades of primer and opaque foundation to cover the scars snaking across her face, hiding the bruises, aligning the asymmetry in her broken nose and jaw. Red matte on the lips, green shimmer on the lids. Flawless liner on the first try. She’s had lots and lots of practice. She films her transformation in secret for all to see and learn, and again, men are turned to anonymous stone faces screaming in horror. “Liar!” “Witch!” “Take her swimming on the first date!” These words do not discourage her. These words are a challenge. GlamGorgonXx posts another video.

[mao-tenno]

Millennial Prometheus uploads another PDF to his site. He’s lost track of the printing and edition of this textbook. He knows they just rearranged some of chapters then charge 150 dollars per copy, and the professor wrote the book himself. the ZIP fills uploads successfully, and he starts uploading the next one. He isn’t afraid of the potential lawsuit. knowledge shouldn’t held out of reach like this. 

[i-will-not-be-caged]

Millennial Circe screenshots all the lewd messages she gets from men on online dating sites and posts them on her very popular Instagram along with their pictures and usernames. When people accuse her of attempting to destroy their reputations, she insists she’s just revealing them for the pigs they truly are.

[jukeboxemcsa]

Millennial Odysseus is starting to suspect there’s something wrong with his GPS…

[everythingfox]

Who you gonna call?

(via)

[gayplanets]

utterly obsessed with this headline

[badideainaglass]

The funniest sword fight scene in the history of cinema. 

[seanfmcguire]

BEST. SWORD FIGHT. EVER.

[musicalhell]

Let’s be honest, this is how I would sword fight.

[rozunderpressure]

@warmageragnar Lewis Vs Otranto, a realistic version.

[redscullyrevival]

#what on earth is this?

The Court Jester starring Danny Kaye, Basil Rathbone, and the amazing Glynis Johns, and Angela Lansbury and it is all around a fun time.

[spotweld]

All kidding aside, watch Basil Rathbone’s foot work. He knows fencing, and sets up the form even though he’s still playing up the stage blows for Danny Kaye to flail at for comedic effect.

[theimpossiblescheme]

Okay, but I need to talk about this because it’s even funnier if you know the context... Basil Rathbone was one of the greatest swordsmen in Hollywood history.  Which is why he almost never won any of his onscreen fights–he was good enough that he knew how to effectively make the other guy look even better.  That’s why the swordfight in The Adventures of Robin Hood looks so awesome even though Errol Flynn is nowhere near Rathbone’s level.

But this fight, right here?  Was one of the only fights where he needed a stunt double.  Because while he was able to keep Danny Kaye from being seriously injured, Rathbone himself nearly got skewered a few times by Kaye’s flailing around.  So in a bizarre way, this is probably the closest to an even match Rathbone had in his career… just not for the reasons you’d expect.

[hamelin-born]

“Don’t you know, there are some things that can beat smartness and foresight? Awkwardness and stupidity can. The best swordsman in the world doesn’t need to fear the second best swordsman in the world; no, the person for him to be afraid of is some ignorant antagonist who has never had a sword in his hand before; he doesn’t do the thing he ought to.”

-Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court (1889)

The origin of a saying I’ve seen quoted in various works of fiction - “The best swordsman does not fear the second best, he fears the worst since there’s no telling what that idiot is going to do.”

[jellyfishdreamofstarlight]

The rest of this movie is equally awesome, 10/10 would highly recommend! Both Glynis Johns and Angela Lansbury were 🔥

[ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead]

@blackkatmagic

[queenitsy]

If you enjoyed Galavant but have not seen The Court Jester you need to go track it down right now, it’s fantastic. (If you like The Court Jester but have never seen Galavant, go do that too.)

[guerrillatech]

[headspace-hotel]

I thought this was my hometown for a second

[enchantingcoffeenightmare]

[darlingsterns]

i’m watching an art theft documentary and they’re interviewing this art history professor from new york who was asked to go with the fbi to authenticate a rubens that had been stolen but it was a sting operation so they had to pretend like they weren’t the fbi, that they were some private buyer about to pay $3.5 million for it, and the fbi was like “this is a VERY delicate operation because you never know how they will react to what you have to say so let the agent do all of the talking, don’t say a word to anyone just nod if it’s the rubens, the last operation we did the guy in your position got shot because things went wrong in a second” and then it cuts to the professor’s interview and he says “i wasn’t going to fly down to miami to be a part of an undercover fbi sting operation to handle what could be rubens’s aurora and just NOT say anything. i was gonna have to ad lib a little” and then he tells the interviewer that when he & the fbi agent got to the hotel while he was examining the painting he started lecturing the other people, first on how badly they had wrapped it, and then about like how it had been painted, the history of it, what the subject was and what she was doing, etc etc, and he was like “i hadn’t taught a class on rubens in 15 years, so for me it was like being back in the classroom except my students couldn’t leave” 

[darlingsterns]

at one point during the deal the professor turned to the woman selling it and he said “isn’t this just the most beautiful rubens you’ve ever seen outside of a museum?” (because the fbi had told him earlier that this piece had been stolen from a museum) and THEN he said “where on earth did you get it from?” and the group of people the woman had with her was like taxidermy-fox.png but the woman was like “inheritance” can you IMAGINE the fbi agent about to have a fucking aneurysm when this random guy you’ve brought in just to nod if it’s the right painting not only starts giving an impromptu lecture but then he asks how they got it

[h1king33k]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B4Zm-Aa74Y&t=2613s

[drek-odradek-deactivated2022031]

omg BLESS YOU for the link and the time stamp that was as glorious as described by the OP

[bythestardoggedmoon]

Y’all failed to mention that HE posted the video HIMSELF and liked every single comment oh my god

[babyanimalgifs]