it/its — actually schizophrenic — adult — AO3 and main tumblr are both DrowningInRedInk — not quite as much of a shipper as implied by the fact that wincest is in my url — yes I like wincest and deanjohn and samjohn but I am aro above all
Hello everyone! I'm schizosamwincester. If you want something to call me, I've been going by Satan online for a long time now. I'm 23 and I use it/its pronouns. My main blog is @drowninginredink and DrowningInRedInk is also my ao3. And yeah, as the url implies, I'm schizophrenic.
I write a lot of one shot fanfics, generally pure angst or angsty smut. I send out weekly Wincest Wednesdays asks. I make the occasional webweave. I talk probably way too much about how Dean is aromantic and aplatonic, and really should try estrogen. As you can probably tell from the username, I like using Sam as my self-insert, particularly when it comes to schizophrenia.
Outside of fandom, I'm a nursing aide, I play viola and sing in choir, I play DND and GM Monster of the Week (which is a tttrpg you should really try if you like Supernatural), and I sometimes do theater.
I do ship wincest, as you can tell from the url, but I'm aromantic above all, so I write and talk a lot more about gen stuff than anything. Also I really enjoy deanjohn and samjohn. I make sure to tag all ships, so even if you don't like wincest (or deanjohn or samjohn), this blog should be safe for you if you filter that tag.
My general tagging system is very straightforward descriptions. Characters are tagged #firstname lastname, or #name supernatural if they don't have a last name. Headcanons are all tagged as like, #trans femme Dean Winchester or #schizophrenic Sam Winchester. I am not creative about this, so if you're looking for something, it shouldn't be too hard to find.
Don't be afraid to DM or send asks! Just know I'm extremely talkative, so not only will I reply, it will be multiple paragraphs.
Header from this webweave.
All my webweaves are here. My wincest wednesday manifesto is here. My fics are all below the cut:
Fixing all the problems that you made in your own head - schizophrenic!John, no supernatural AU
You sound absurd, even if you're right - schizophrenic!Sam, sampreg, Sam & Dean, past Sam/Lucifer
The Story Doesn't Change - schizophrenic!Sam, Sam & Dean, Mystery Spot
Everything I thought I knew has fallen out of view - schizophrenic!Sam, Sam & Dean, It's a Terrible Life
Make it easy (that's a relief) - Spina Bifida!Sam, Sam/Cara
Keep Trekking - Amputee!John, ADHD!Dean, Hard of Hearing!Dean
The many human obstacles that destiny devised - Wheelchair user!Bela
Let's see where this ends - Dean/Jess
the only hoax I believe in - Dean/John, Lucifer Rising
Do you ever feel that this should be officially the end? - Pre-Series, John, Murder/Suicide
Pretty Thing (you'll be complete) - Closeted trans woman!Dean/Post-op trans woman!Bela (smut)
Hold your breath, I'll hold mine too - past Sam/Jess, Sam/Dean, sampreg, miscarriage
You can call it loneliness - Bobby/John, Dean/John, Sam/Dean
If She Had Lived - Jess Lives, Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder, Sam/Jess, Jess/OC
Dangerous Questions - Aplatonic Dean, Dean/Cassie
That's just not us - Aplatonic Dean, Sam & Dean
For the best - Aplatonic John, John's breakup with Bobby
Sissy - closeted trans woman!Dean/John (part 1)
Sister - Sam finds out about trans woman!Dean (part 2)
Subsist - Vignettes between Sam and closeted trans woman!Dean (part 3)
Insisted - Bobby finds out about trans woman!Dean (part 4)
Drink to Forget - AU where Sam dies in Carry On instead of Dean
I remember when your head caught flame - Sam/John, underage, first kiss
If He Asked - one-sided destiel, established wincest
You can pin and mount me like a butterfly - dean/john, smut, castration
Like in the movies - aromantic Dean, very underage Dean/John
But they were fucked up in their turn - closeted trans woman!Dean & closeted trans woman!John
Take My Body - trans man!Sam/John
A disfiguring chicken pox of the soul - weirdcest, weecest, trans boy!Sam/trans girl!Dean (not that either knows it yet)
like the baptism he never had - Sam/Dean, necrophilia, piss (All Hell Breaks Loose)
Silver Linings - Sam/Dean, necrophilia, piss (yes, again. But this time it's Mystery Spot)
Like Flies from your Face - Dean & Bobby, suicidal!Dean (All Hell Breaks Loose)
Tonight I give in to the fantasy - Trans woman!Dean, sex worker!Dean
No other box I choose to use - humanfucker!Gabriel (Hammer of the Gods)
Sucker love is heaven sent - Gabriel/Adam smut
Live through this, and you won't look back - trans woman!Sam
My head is full of poison - Stanford era Sam, past wincest, Sam/Jess
Come to the River - underage Dean/John, piss
I'll use you as a warning sign - Sam/John, Dean/John, unplanned pregnancy
Hobbies - Dean & Bobby (& Sam), Dean's love of hentai
the road is so long - one-sided John/Dean, pining Dean, Christmas
If you could drop Sam and Dean (and anyone else, if you like) into any other media, what would you pick?
-@schizosamwincester
As far as art media go, we've got tie-in novels, comics, John's journal, and an anime--we're pretty spoiled, not to mention all the fan works, up to and including cakes. I guess I find paper animation pretty cool and there's probably at least one badass quilt out there
If we're talking like other shows or genres, I think they--especially Jensen if it's a visual medium, his physical comedic timing is *chef's kiss*--would be amazing as a comedy. I would love to see Sam with a podcast that Dean constantly interrupts, or Dean with a cooking YouTube channel where Sam heckles him, or something like Buzzfeed Unsolved where Sam is the geek and Dean plays the straight man (except when it comes to Elliot Ness and the like of course), or like Dean somehow gets into video game streaming and it's all just video game road rage 🤭
(If there are fanworks out there with this kind of premise please send me links/recs!!)
If you could drop Sam and Dean (and anyone else, if you like) into any other media, what would you pick?
-@schizosamwincester
nearly any cop shows. imagine those two being caught in CSI? Law And Order? < SVU specifically? hell, imagine those two in Dexter
other paranormal shows too. Teen Wolf, Stranger Things, Twilight?
hell toss in funny ones, like Golden Girls. I’d like to see that
just imagine the interactions w them in other shows, those two brothers who can’t interact with anyone else for shit. dean being interrogated by detective stabler, sam talking to dexter. IMAGINE
During a hunt Sam accidentally sends a stray shotgun slug into the Impala’s rear door while it was parked, apparently not far enough out of the way. And when the hunts finally over he walks back to the car, trailing behind Dean with a hangdog expression on his face, waiting for him to see what happened. Dean stops and stares at the large round hole, looks to Sam, looks back to the hole, then slowly circles his two of his fingertips around it. Sam’s waiting for the explosion, but all Dean does is stick an exploratory finger inside the hole, offhandedly muttering “you’re paying for the new door…” clearly not quite focused on the reprimand. And suddenly he’s a bit too focused, turning back to Sam and herding him over to the hole he’s made, demanding “come look at what you’ve done.” At Dean’s insistence Sam find himself with his finger in Baby, trying not to cut himself on the jagged metal while Dean watches, a strange fervor in his eye.
Okay. Lisa Braeden is aromantic. Lisa/Dean is in fact aro4aro. Why? Let's go.
Who the hell still goes on about a hookup they had 9 years ago? Like. Okay. With Dean it makes sense. He has no life outside of hunting, Sam, and sex. I can understand Dean still being like "If I'm going to die, I want to fuck Lisa again first." But Lisa has a life. She has a child and friends and a stable job. What woman with all of those things talks about one weekend nine years ago so much that when Dean appears everyone is like "oooo. That's the guy she always talks about." I don't think an alloromantic woman would talk that much about a hookup that presumably had nothing romantic about it to her respectable married friends. The best night of an alloromantic woman's life would probably involve a boyfriend and romance, not just crazy sex. Which brings us to my next point.
She deliberately sought out guys who are not going to be available for romance. When she says that Dean isn't Ben's father, it was some other unattached drifter, she also says, "I had a type. Leather jacket, couple of scars, no mailing address." And yeah, a lot of us think she was lying about the first part, but there's no real reason for her to lie about the second. Which, as an aromantic allosexual? What a fantastic strategy. 10/10. And like, let's be really clear here: looking at what we know of the timeline of her life, she went right from picking up guys who would never be anything other than one nights stands to being a single mom and presumably being way too busy for that. For all we know, she might never have actually had a romantic relationship ever until Dean.
She seems really happy with being a single mother. Like... If I got pregnant by someone I knew I was never going to see again, I would be going to Planned Parenthood because I know I couldn't handle that alone. Lisa could have gotten an abortion. She didn't. That raises the possibility that she wanted to be a single parent, potentially even more than she'd want to have a kid with a partner. That's true for some aromantic people. Hell, while now I wouldn't want that because I'm just way too disabled for that, as an aro kid I had multiple different fantasies about it. Like, usually in media being a single mom is trashy and depressing and sad. It's honestly really interesting that Supernatural, the misogyny show, has such a positive depiction of it with Lisa.
She consistently understands Dean and his thought processes and priorities incredibly well. It's easier to get people if they're similar to you. And I think anyone seeing this post probably already agrees that Dean is aromantic.
The entire dynamic of Lisa and Dean getting back together is... weird? To be clear, their relationship up to that point is: a) they hook up once, b) a decade later, he saves her kid, c) a year and a half later he shows up on her doorstep crying and then leaves, d) he comes back and she lets him live with her as her partner for a year. That is not the normal trajectory of a relationship. At no point is there any dating there. But if you ask me, it makes a lot of sense for an aro who doesn't really understand romantic relationships to begin with.
I'm leaving list format now so I can really dig into this. Let's start with a personal anecdote from me. When I was in high school, there was this guy. He was pretty lonely because he was disabled and, you know, kids are assholes. It was pretty well-known that he would ask out pretty much any girl who was ever friendly with him. And like, not in a creepy way—if you said no, that was that. He was more than happy to stay friends. Most of his friends were girls in fact, and they'd pretty much all gotten asked and then moved on. Anyway. I got asked. And unlike all the other girls, I went "well. Relationships are a thing people do. I think he's attractive, and that's all crushes are, right? Sure, I'll say yes." I didn't bother examining if I actually had romantic feelings for him (I didn't think those existed, I thought all crushes were purely about attraction to someone's appearance), I just went with it. Needless to say, I didn't know I was aromantic yet.
I'm not convinced that Lisa knows she's aromantic, either. I think when she did all her hookups, she told herself, "I'm just young and having fun and don't want to be tied down right now." And then once Ben was around, she said that she was just too busy for a relationship. A lot of aromantics and asexuals continually push off realizing that they don't want the same things as other people with excuses like "oh I'm just too young for that" or "I'm too busy with school" or "I'm trying to get started with my career" and it takes them a really long time to realize that even when all of those aren't true anymore, they still don't actually want romance and/or sex. I think because Lisa went right from "I'm too young" to "I'm too busy parenting," she probably still hasn't had that realization. She assumed that eventually she'd find the right guy and want to settle down. And then Dean Winchester ended up right in front of her, and she went "I guess this is it."
If we look back at 3x02, her first reaction to the idea of having anything to do with Dean again is "hell no." That makes sense. I think that's the normal reaction if a hookup suddenly wants to get together after eight years. She only changes her tune because he's really good with her kid. He wishes Ben was his own kid, even. And when that's the case? Well, Ben could use a male role model. She's always wanted that for him. And it would be nice to have a coparent. Plus hey, Dean needs this too. He could use a place to stay and a thing to do and someone to support him. Ben would have a Mom and a Dad like he's supposed to, and Lisa would have a boyfriend, like she always said she would eventually when she got around to it. There's a great opportunity for everyone right in front of her. She might as well go for it.
At no point do either her or Dean realize that actual feelings for each other played no part in it. They both wanted to be coparents who were friends and fucked, and they both figured "hey, that's basically what romantic relationships are, right?" They didn't mean to seek out an aro4aro QPR arrangement—they just both fell into it and assumed it was normal.
Anyway full disclosure that, a lot of this draws off my own personal experience of what being an allosexual aromantic is like, so other aromantics might look at this and go "no actually she doesn't sound aro at all to me" and that's fair. Also I have never been alloromantic, so when I say "I don't think an alloromantic would do what Lisa does," that is fully a guess. I do not actually know.
It's my birthday today, so let's shake things up. Instead of me asking you something, respond to this with a question that you want me to answer! And I will get to talk everyone's ears off all day. No limits or anything; just go for it.
- @schizosamwincester
HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY !!!!!!!
hmmmmmmmm
who do you think is a better match with sam? and/or dean? this can be in any way you argue for, platonic, shippy, best chemistry, best history, best friendship, best battle partner, etc. I'm curious on who you think is the best match up for them, platonic or otherwise !!!!
Okay well. I mean the answer is obviously each other. For better or worse, the Winchesters simply do not know how to function independently. They see each other as two halves of one whole. They do not want to exist without each other. And so regardless of how unhealthy they may be, or how often they misunderstand each other completely, or their tendencies to come up with an idea in their head of what their brother thinks or wants or needs that simply isn't true... if you've only ever wanted one person to be your partner, and won't accept anyone else, they are the best partner for you, just by default. But. I also think given we are both wincesty blogs in the wincest sphere, that's the most boring answer I could possibly give and thus shouldn't count.
So I'm going to use this as an opportunity to make an argument that's been in the back of my head for a bit, but I haven't actually gotten around to posting about yet.
Lisa is the best partner/match for Dean, because she understands him well enough to not try and make it last.
Lisa sees right through Dean to a degree that's... Like... I feel like it's kind of emblematic of the shows problems with women, honestly. They don't really understand how to write female characters, and so they just write her as perfect. She understands everything about Dean because like, isn't that what women are supposed to do? They're supposed to be good at all this emotional stuff. Obviously they can't fail to understand their men. Then they wouldn't be A Good Girlfriend. That's what good girlfriends do.
But. Taking Lisa as she is written, it is simply a fact that she understands Dean at his core. She knows he's not the kind of guy to stick around and never will be. That's why she tells him Ben isn't his kid. That's why when he asks to hook up again, she tells him absolutely not. When Sam comes back, what does she say? That she knows he's a hunter and not a construction worker, and so he should just go. That she knows a tied-down family man isn't who he is, and they can make it work this way, but she knows she can never make him stay.
Dean is a fundamentally aromantic character. Across the whole series, he shows a lot of desire to hook-up with women, but never the desire to actually settle down or date. Not romantically, and not platonically, either. And when he connects with Sam and Bobby again, he makes it very clear that he didn't want a stable partner and a happy home. He wanted Sam. And the only reason he actually went to Lisa and Ben and stayed with them is because Sam told him to.
Lisa is the best partner for Dean because she understands that there is no ideal romantic partner for Dean. That isn't who he is, and he never will be. As they say, "if you love something, let it go." And she does. Because ultimately, what Dean needs out of a love interest is for them to understand that they will never be what he wants or come first in his life.
So yeah. That's my hot take.
As for Sam? No character in the show has been anything close to the ideal partner for Sam. Absolutely none of them would be right for him. I mean, maybe Jess I guess, but we don't see enough of her to know that for sure. Lucifer is the most interesting partner for him because of how convinced he is that he's Sam's perfect match, but it's pretty obvious that Sam doesn't like him back one bit. I don't know who would be good for Sam, but not any of these characters. Not that it really matters, when he'd reject anyone who isn't Dean, anyway.
Another why-choose suggestion this week. So, we know that Dean is very, very Gen x, and Sam is an early millennial. Let's discuss. What kind of quirks do they have as a result of their generation? How does it show?
-@schizosamwincester
I think my favorite example of their generations was when Dean didn’t know what MySpace was and assumed it was a porn site or something. This man was not on social media, hardly even knew what it was, but he could build an EMF Meter from scratch without trouble. At least in my experience, that is very Gen X of him lol.
Sam just kinda breathes very early millennial. He knows about new stuff and he keeps up with about half of the lingo, but he still makes the most awkward fumbles sometimes. During Stanford Jess or a friend would reference some hot new show or artist everyone’s talking about and Sam would just. Blank Stare.
If you could drop Sam and Dean (and anyone else, if you like) into any other media, what would you pick?
-@schizosamwincester
This has been done so much before but I just love the idea of them getting to fight with Buffy lmao
Plus I love the way Buffy demons and monsters look and those kinds of effects/designs made for such a fun show but alas, everything looks human in spn
Dean and Buffy basically being the same person is also endlessly delightful and it would be really funny to see them try to navigate that (with Sam laughing at Dean in the background about it)
Sam and Dean + the Scoobies could probably make literally any plan work after a good nights research binge, and they could take over the world in a fortnight if they really wanted to
Sam, Giles, and Willow disappear together for research and something goes either extremely wrong or they fix world hunger with a spell lmao
If Charlie was with them the chaos and lesbianism would grow exponentially which would also be super fun
AND I WANT TO SEE SALMONDEAN PLAY CARD GAMES WITH CLEM
Headcanoning characters as aromantic is really nice because I went, "ah fuck. I completely forgot to have Lisa actually be attracted to Dean. And like. Like him. She's kinda just like 'well this is the guy I have in my house. He's good with Ben'" and then remembered that hey, wait, that's okay actually, that is exactly how I headcanon her. I do in fact think she went "well. I'm supposed to get a boyfriend eventually. And he's here. And he's good with my kid. And hot. And good at sex. And offering. Yeah, okay. This seems like how it's supposed to work." And now I don't have to go back and pretend I understand how romance works. I'll just tag aromantic lisa and call it a day
If you could drop Sam and Dean (and anyone else, if you like) into any other media, what would you pick?
-@schizosamwincester
Happy Wincest WFriday @schizosamwincester 💜
There are so many spn crossovers that I like, it's hard to choose just one... But my overall top 5 are: Criminal Minds, His Dark Materials (these are more of a fusion AU), Merlin, and Buffy/Angel. And while there are some fics for each of these, it can be difficult to find good crossover fic that is also wincest or at least not background notp.
As for dropping SHOW Salmon Dean into a piece of media... Heroes, maybe? 911 would be funny, with the way they flirt with the existence of the supernatural. Or The Pitt, and then there would be references to Jared being on ER as a teen, and Robby convinced he recognizes him. 👀
If you could drop Sam and Dean (and anyone else, if you like) into any other media, what would you pick?
-@schizosamwincester
I really want to see them from the perspective of the show criminal minds. Some of my favorite parts of supernatural are when they’re interacting with law enforcement because of the unique outsider perspective. (don’t get me started on the killing of Hendrickson I’m still so pissed)
Anyway a team of behavioral analysts psychoanalyzing their relationship dynamics, discussing who’s the dominant and submissive personality between them is like my version of a wet dream.
it presses its back against the thing it left behind
G | no archive warnings apply | sam & castiel
additional tags: post-09x10, disabled sam winchester, wheelchair user sam winchester, chronic illness, canon-typical ableism, sam & cas friendship, sam lacks bodily autonomy, sam has self-worth issues
word count: 1,622 words
summary:
The tremors start less than a day after Cas heals the holes in his head.
...
new symptoms appear & sam's wheelchair loses its layer of dust
part three of shallow outer space
written for DisabilityNatural 2026 (@disabilitynatural)
If you could drop Sam and Dean (and anyone else, if you like) into any other media, what would you pick?
-@schizosamwincester
I think @holyfreaks was just talking about this recently? but 1000% a survivalist show. preferably naked and afraid. preferably an all-family edition and all the other contestants are having the expected awkwardness and Dean is over there flicking Sam in the dick
perhaps a controversial opinion but I also think they'd be garbage at most survival shit. when have they ever had to start a fire without a lighter? or build their own shelter? or catch something as small as a bunny?
I think Sam would get eaten alive by mosquitoes and Dean would get medically tapped because he cut himself chopping wood with a hunting knife like a total dumbass
If you could drop Sam and Dean (and anyone else, if you like) into any other media, what would you pick?
-@schizosamwincester
I think @holyfreaks was just talking about this recently? but 1000% a survivalist show. preferably naked and afraid. preferably an all-family edition and all the other contestants are having the expected awkwardness and Dean is over there flicking Sam in the dick
perhaps a controversial opinion but I also think they'd be garbage at most survival shit. when have they ever had to start a fire without a lighter? or build their own shelter? or catch something as small as a bunny?
I think Sam would get eaten alive by mosquitoes and Dean would get medically tapped because he cut himself chopping wood with a hunting knife like a total dumbass
