it/its — actually schizophrenic — adult — AO3 and main tumblr are both DrowningInRedInk — not quite as much of a shipper as implied by the fact that wincest is in my url — yes I like wincest and deanjohn and samjohn but I am aro above all
Hello everyone! I'm schizosamwincester. If you want something to call me, I've been going by Satan online for a long time now. I'm 23 and I use it/its pronouns. My main blog is @drowninginredink and DrowningInRedInk is also my ao3. And yeah, as the url implies, I'm schizophrenic.
I write a lot of one shot fanfics, generally pure angst or angsty smut. I send out weekly Wincest Wednesdays asks. I make the occasional webweave. I talk probably way too much about how Dean is aromantic and aplatonic, and really should try estrogen. As you can probably tell from the username, I like using Sam as my self-insert, particularly when it comes to schizophrenia.
Outside of fandom, I'm a nursing aide, I play viola and sing in choir, I play DND and GM Monster of the Week (which is a tttrpg you should really try if you like Supernatural), and I sometimes do theater.
I do ship wincest, as you can tell from the url, but I'm aromantic above all, so I write and talk a lot more about gen stuff than anything. Also I really enjoy deanjohn and samjohn. I make sure to tag all ships, so even if you don't like wincest (or deanjohn or samjohn), this blog should be safe for you if you filter that tag.
My general tagging system is very straightforward descriptions. Characters are tagged #firstname lastname, or #name supernatural if they don't have a last name. Headcanons are all tagged as like, #trans femme Dean Winchester or #schizophrenic Sam Winchester. I am not creative about this, so if you're looking for something, it shouldn't be too hard to find.
Don't be afraid to DM or send asks! Just know I'm extremely talkative, so not only will I reply, it will be multiple paragraphs.
All my webweaves are here. My wincest wednesday manifesto is here. My fics are all below the cut:
Let's see where this ends - Dean/Jess
Fixing all the problems that you made in your own head - schizophrenic!John, no supernatural AU
You sound absurd, even if you're right - schizophrenic!Sam, sampreg, Sam & Dean, past Sam/Lucifer
The Story Doesn't Change - schizophrenic!Sam, Sam & Dean, Mystery Spot
Everything I thought I knew has fallen out of view - schizophrenic!Sam, Sam & Dean, It's a Terrible Life
the only hoax I believe in - Dean/John, Lucifer Rising
Do you ever feel that this should be officially the end? - Pre-Series, John, Murder/Suicide
Pretty Thing (you'll be complete) - Closeted trans woman!Dean/Post-op trans woman!Bela (smut)
Hold your breath, I'll hold mine too - past Sam/Jess, Sam/Dean, sampreg, miscarriage
You can call it loneliness - Bobby/John, Dean/John, Sam/Dean
If She Had Lived - Jess Lives, Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder, Sam/Jess, Jess/OC
Dangerous Questions - Aplatonic Dean, Dean/Cassie
That's just not us - Aplatonic Dean, Sam & Dean
For the best - Aplatonic John, John's breakup with Bobby
Sissy - closeted trans woman!Dean/John (part 1)
Sister - Sam finds out about trans woman!Dean (part 2)
Subsist - Vignettes between Sam and closeted trans woman!Dean (part 3)
Insisted - Bobby finds out about trans woman!Dean (part 4)
Drink to Forget - AU where Sam dies in Carry On instead of Dean
I remember when your head caught flame - Sam/John, underage, first kiss
If He Asked - one-sided destiel, established wincest
You can pin and mount me like a butterfly - dean/john, smut, castration
Like in the movies - aromantic Dean, very underage Dean/John
But they were fucked up in their turn - closeted trans woman!Dean & closeted trans woman!John
Take My Body - trans man!Sam/John
A disfiguring chicken pox of the soul - weirdcest, weecest, trans boy!Sam/trans girl!Dean (not that either knows it yet)
like the baptism he never had - Sam/Dean, necrophilia, piss (All Hell Breaks Loose)
Silver Linings - Sam/Dean, necrophilia, piss (yes, again. But this time it's Mystery Spot)
Like Flies from your Face - Dean & Bobby, suicidal!Dean (All Hell Breaks Loose)
Tonight I give in to the fantasy - Trans woman!Dean, sex worker!Dean
No other box I choose to use - humanfucker!Gabriel (Hammer of the Gods)
Sucker love is heaven sent - Gabriel/Adam smut
Live through this, and you won't look back - trans woman!Sam
I'll use you as a warning sign - Sam/John, Dean/John, unplanned pregnancy
Hobbies - Dean & Bobby (& Sam), Dean's love of hentai
the road is so long - one-sided John/Dean, pining Dean, Christmas
So, for the most part, I have set the rule for myself that I'm not allowed to repeat any questions until after June. But. It's aromantic spectrum awareness week. And I am militantly aro. So I'm going to make an exception. If you have any arospec headcanons even vaguely related to supernatural. Here's your chance. I am, of course, quite passionate about Dean being aro as hell, but I am not going to restrict this to just that. You can talk about anyone you want... As long as you make it about aromanticism.
-@schizosamwincester
Rowena could be aro and I think it would work for her character pretty well. I think she just doesn’t see romance as something of value if that makes sense? Like in later seasons I know she gets pretty close to Sam and it is fun at times to ship the two of them romantically but the reality is that she is not interested in romance. Sex? Absolutely. Friends? Maybe. Romance? What’s the point of that?
Dean is obviously aromantic and truly doesn’t feel a connection to romance. He’s tried many times to conform to the amatonormative societal standards but at the end of the day he just doesn’t click with it.
I think later seasons Dean is romance repulsed and he bonds with Rowena over the experience. Rowena both doesn’t see the point of romance and feels physically ill at the idea of actually dating someone in that way.
Similarly, I would love to see someone explore Bobby as aromantic. I know he loved his late wife and I don’t want to rewrite that canon but he got married in a time when being a bachelor or only having a platonic marriage wasn’t as supported. It’d be cool to see a fic where he and his wife love each other but he legit just, isn’t romantically attracted to her. Maybe she could be aro too and it was a lavender situation.
Everyone loves summer wincest fics and headcanons and using that as a backdrop, but what about winter? Do you have any winter ideas or fics or headcanons?
-@schizosamwincester
Sam and Dean making snow angels for the first time in decades would be super cute. I think it’d be a fun way to see some joy out of the two of them.
Also them getting snowed in at the bunker would be cute. Watching shitty romance movies that Dean loves to hate but secretly enjoys from an anthropological perspective.
HEY I've made Dean into romance in an anthropological way before! That's one of my headcanons! He doesn't exactly like romance movies as much as he's utterly fascinated by them. This is how he attempts to figure romance out.
Like in the movies is the fic where I discuss it, but fair warning that it's a (not explicit) CSA dean/john fic so I understand if that's not one for you.
So, for the most part, I have set the rule for myself that I'm not allowed to repeat any questions until after June. But. It's aromantic spectrum awareness week. And I am militantly aro. So I'm going to make an exception. If you have any arospec headcanons even vaguely related to supernatural. Here's your chance. I am, of course, quite passionate about Dean being aro as hell, but I am not going to restrict this to just that. You can talk about anyone you want... As long as you make it about aromanticism.
-@schizosamwincester
happy wincest wednesday AND aromantic spectrum awareness week, and boy. I'm Glad You Asked Because I'm New In The Brain And Have More Stuff To Say Than Ivory Did (maybe-)
first of all we've already covered that Dean Winchester is aromantic aplatonic allosexual and how so fucking much of Supernatural canon in itself supports that reading. highschool flashback episode for aplatonic and, like, everything else for aromantic allosexual.
one could argue Sam as the asexual afamilial alloromantic to counteract that (and we often did. because its Fun.) but we're not talking about that. my One aro headcanon for Sam Winchester is that he's placioromantic and afamiliality ties into it in some way shape or form. what he had with Jessica was aro4allo plato4romo and not traditional beyond the ways in which they presented it to the outside world. yknow.
soulless!Sam though? fully aromantic and repulsed. once everything settles back into a shifted sense of normalcy Sam does not get back his placioromanticism and finds repulsion with his own repulsion of romance. torture him tuesday wednesday-
every single one of the angels is aromantic, Ivory talked a lot about this "all the angels are aspec" thing but. and this is kinda tangential but not really. the only angel that isnt aro, ace, apl, asen, etc, is Gabriel. this makes sense and i need you to trust me when i say this because ive lost our posts explaining why it makes sense for him to be allo-everything. fuck. anyway what was i saying right yeah. all the angels are aromantic.
Castiel is the only angel that isn't suptillic and instead demi all around. to me.
Mary's also aroallo, both for Just Trust Me reasons and for Dean angst reasons. one of the cupids did say they put in a lot of work on making sure John and Mary got together, how else am i meant to take that other than "at least one of them was aro" and iirc Mary comes back...? we didnt watch that way but ive heard she's even more aro in her resurrection arc. so.
we would also like to argue in favor of aroallo Ash, our argument is that its fun and feels right (and also i am aroallo rural trailer park trash and he has the right vibes for me to throw that on him). as does aroallo Bela, it fits quite nicely. we had like one other one where our only reasoning was that it felt right but i cant remember it. hhhhhhhhh what was it.
and Lisa Braeden is aro too, obviously. she doesn't know she's aro but she is. this i know to be true in my heart.
All of this is perfect. I did not know the term placio and am happy to have a new vocab term. And I'm very mad I didn't think of aroallo Ash myself. That's so obvious.
But yeahhhh no placio Sam makes so much sense. That man loves to perform. Absolute king of masking in every way.
And yeah, aro Mary / Kinsey 5 at best John means the angels needed to do a lot of work to get them to breed.
Also surely if you can't find your Gabriel posts on your blog, you could find them searching "#gabriel supernatural" on mine because I must have reblogged it
I'm realizing that a lot of the deanjohn I've written, specifically Stanford Era, is about that situation where even though you're with other people, you feel completely alone. Dean is devoted to John, yes, but he doesn't feel seen by John. Without Sam, he feels entirely alone in the world. He might be physically seen by John, but he doesn't feel like John is actually aware of the person underneath the surface.
And that is an interpretation of stanford era deanjohn, but it definitely isn't the only one or the single correct one. Like, I have enjoyed plenty of fics where Dean and John really do connect and are quite close, in their own little bubble separate from the world. Which is also a very correct interpretation.
But I'm realizing that of course I would gravitate towards this reading of it, because that's how I feel about my own parents and how I felt when physically living with them. Sure, we were in the same space, but they didn't see who I actually was, they just saw the idea of me that they had in their head. So of course I'd focus on the loneliness angle of the stanford era instead of the close codependency angle, because the former is what I know about parental relationships. (And also my aro ass has no idea how to write that kind of amorous relationship. I might fake it, but I know I can always spot the tells and relationships written by me do always feel a little bit like they're missing something).
Anyway. Just interesting reflection as I'm working on yet another fic where Dean is physically as close to John as a person can be, but mentally John is miles and miles away.
I think I'll go nice and broad here. It's pride month, so talk about absolutely any LGBTQIA+ headcanon you have for supernatural. How did the Winchester of your choosing discover they were attracted to the same gender? Which side character was definitely stealth trans? Who do you know in your heart was aspec or intersex? And etc. You have free rein to spread whatever gospel you want, whether it explicitly contains any wincest or not, as long as it is queer
-@schizosamwincester
Sam is genderfluid (any pronouns) and aromantic. I like to think he realized he was genderfluid when he was with Jessica. Obviously Jess was super supportive, took Sam shopping for some new clothes and really let her embrace herself. After Dean showed up and Jess died, Sam closed himself off. I don't think it was necessarily a big deal to them to be less open about their identity (doesn't really care what people perceive him as, even if that means being perceived as a man), but I think not feeling like he could trust Dean with that part of himself would've been hard. They probably came out to Dean wayyyy later on, maybe in season 11 or 12.
As for being aromantic, I don't think it was anything Sam necessarily "figured out," I think it's just how he's always felt. She loves Dean more than anything, and definitely wants to have sex with him so fucking bad, but it's never been a romantic thing for her. I don't think he ever tells Dean that, cause Dean wouldn't understand it anyway and he'd probably take it personally.
Dean is bisexual. I think in the general sense he prefers women, but when Sam's an option he's basically just Samsexual. Dean knows he's bi early on, I don't think he could really pinpoint a specific thing that made him realize, but it takes him a really long time to get comfortable with that fact. He still calls himself straight WELL into his relationship with Sam, no matter how much Sam encourages him and tells him there's nothing wrong with liking men.
BONUSES: Castiel is non binary as FUCK and ends up preferring they/them (and doesn't really care for human sexualities, they just like whoever they like), Adam is transmasc and gay, Gabriel is genderfluid and pansexual, Charlie is a trans woman, aaaand Kevin is also a trans woman she just didn't know it yet
I think I'll go nice and broad here. It's pride month, so talk about absolutely any LGBTQIA+ headcanon you have for supernatural. How did the Winchester of your choosing discover they were attracted to the same gender? Which side character was definitely stealth trans? Who do you know in your heart was aspec or intersex? And etc. You have free rein to spread whatever gospel you want, whether it explicitly contains any wincest or not, as long as it is queer
-@schizosamwincester
Using this to talk about my bigender (he/she pronouns) Sam headcanon! It just fits, to me. He’s so comfortable in his masculinity but if he had the space to explore I think she’d end up being like Oh Fuck What Can Of Worms Have I Opened Now, having a crisis, and then eventually being like “fuck you I’m both a man and a woman, now let’s go hunt these monsters I found” hdkdggskdhdjkd.
I ALWAYS FORGET THAT DEMISEXUAL/DEMIROMANTIC SAM IS A HEADCANON, IT JUST FEELS LIKE CANON TO ME (you must have The Right Vibes™️ for him to even consider you)
Dean, to me, falls into the “every straight guy looks at objectively attractive men and has a few guy crushes!” stereotype, but after a while that just doesn’t cut it and he has to accept he’s at least a bit queer (only to himself of course, No One Else Can Know (But They All Know lmao)). When he comes to this conclusion is highly fluid, no solid headcanons here cause it could happen at literally any time, but it’s regularly Much Earlier in my head when he’s forced into said realization by falling in love with his brother
I love Bi Dean but the gay Dean analysis I’ve seen has lots of points… and is especially yummy for angst reasons, I think I’ve just seen him as bi for too long for gay Dean to be my main headcanon lol
Sam, to me, figures out his sexuality (some kind of queer/bi/pan, I don’t think he cares to label it too much) pretty early on and just keeps it quiet, maybe experiments a bit in college but nothing big enough that he feels the need to come out to Dean once he starts hunting again.
Sam and Dean both doing the “I’m not hiding my sexuality but I’m not yelling from the rooftops about it either” will always be true to me, John was from the DADT era and Dean keeps himself in that mindset for So Long cause holding onto that stuff is his Thing but he does eventually get over it and milks it for all the gay/homophobia jokes (which makes Sam consider choosing to be homophobic sometimes lmao, it’s either that or kissing him so he stops talking)
Sam does it cause it’s what’s been modeled to him and he doesn’t think it’s worth the effort to be out and proud, especially when he’s mostly been attracted to women while with Dean so why throw a wrench in the works unnecessarily (Dean not noticing him hooking up with Paul in 99 Problems was all Dean tho, that boy was Not hiding it and if Dean was less distracted by his Angel Issues™️ that would’ve been his Realization moment). My boy has Too Many Problems going on for this to be any sort of major concern… also Dean would’ve been unbearable during the “satan’s going to ride your ass” era if he knew Sam was queer so we can all thank our lucky stars for that not happening haha
Jack is nonbinary and Very confused by gender/gender roles to me. A beautiful combination with bigender Sam, who is enjoying having a home to chill in and keep frivolous stuff like nice clothes and makeup in, so they can enjoy doing stuff together for fun (and bullying Dean into joining them of course. Dean has more fun than he’ll admit but I think the extent of Gender Stuff™️ he does on his own is like,,, panties and lipstick during sex and nicer clothes with fun patterns)
Donna and Jody deserve to get together for real and go on fun dates (half of which end in a hunt) and take care of their chaotic foster kids. Donna especially deserves better than the men she got in canon 😤 she’s gorgeous and badass and Jody falls head over heels for her (as everyone should)
Aro Mary is a headcanon I should think about more often… it’s great (and so is she) and it makes the Cupid stuff even more of a horror story than it already is. Just,,, aro Mary wanting so desperately to get out of hunting and the only way she can conceive of it is With A Man and blaming all weirdbad feelings she gets while Doing A Romance on the hunting stuff instead of that she’s forcing herself into a shape she doesn’t naturally fit… loving the future cause she can fuck without the romance with less judgement but I don’t think she’d figure out the aromanticism unless someone told her it existed… she’d just think she’s broken but be fine with it, after all it’s still the least of her problems (the Winchester family curse lol)
- Contrary to his sexuality, he doesn’t figure it out easily and early on, she experiments a bit in college but just thinks he doesn’t have strict internal gender rules. Besides, plenty of people think crossdressing is fun! Sure, most guys don’t keep a mix of boxers and panties for mostly nonsexual reasons, but she doesn’t get to think too much about that before being back on the road with Dean
- She learns way too much about her brother when Dean spots her panties and is torn between throwing them all away and smothering Dean with said panties. In the end he just throws a ball of wet clothes at his brother and makes a grossed out face. (Dean decides not to be an ass about it, if only cause it makes him feel less self conscious about his panty kink; Sam wishes he’d not told her that’s what it was)
- The combination of always being in life or death situations—or the literal apocalypse—and not having much dysphoria keep his gender crisis on the back burner the majority of the time, plus life on the road doesn’t lead to many opportunities for experimentation and finding those moments of gender euphoria
- I’m torn between wanting soulless Sam to really queer it up cause who gives a fuck and him retreating into masculinity out of practicality. Would he even feel gender dysphoria/euphoria without his soul? I could go either way on that one…
- It takes until his time with Amelia to truly have the time and space to have her gender crisis. Season 8 Sam’s hair is so glorious he was definitely growing that shit out on purpose. Amelia helps her learn how to do makeup, paint his nails, all the fun stuff she didn’t have the time or money for, before. Artsy makeup is fun and I don’t do it enough so I’m making Sam do it lol (Dean immediately calls her “princess” once he gets back, it becomes an affectionate nickname as his anger simmers down)
- Having the bunker is great for her, a real home finally giving him the space to just chill and be herself between hunts. Idk I’m just imagining Sam getting his own time to nest and the 90s girl room of his dreams and taking time to check out thrift stores on the way back from hunts. I think he’d have a purple celestial themed room with lava lamps (Dean makes witch jokes about it; Rowena loves it and they have girls nights in his room, this makes the witch jokes worse but also more affectionate)
- Nonbinary Jack and Bigender Sam bonding. I’m quickly losing brainpower but there are many fun things to do with this
I think I'll go nice and broad here. It's pride month, so talk about absolutely any LGBTQIA+ headcanon you have for supernatural. How did the Winchester of your choosing discover they were attracted to the same gender? Which side character was definitely stealth trans? Who do you know in your heart was aspec or intersex? And etc. You have free rein to spread whatever gospel you want, whether it explicitly contains any wincest or not, as long as it is queer
-@schizosamwincester
Happy Wincest Wednesday, and happy Pride!
Ohhhhh there's so many options. Everything and everyone is on the table.
I'll start off with the hits, Aromantic Mary Winchester and Aromantic Aplatonic Dean Winchester. Transman Crowley is so deeply embedded in my brain and it's snug and cozy next to Fallen Angel Crowley. Our terrible awful transwoman Chuck <3. Bug's beautiful transwoman Kevin.
I'm sure I'm not the first to say it, but transman Garth? He's got this placidity in his soul that comes from someone who has reflected on the core of himself without flinching, who knows exactly who he is. And many times the people who do that find out that they are not cisgender. While I have my Garth's Mom OC who is chewing on dryer lint like bubble gum in the back of my mind, I think "Garth" is a name that Garth would have chosen for himself. He was born The Fourth after his mom's favorite Star Wars movie, not in any relation to any relatives having the same name. Also, I'm sure this is heavily informed by the fact that I live in the south, but there's only one transman that I've met that hasn't tried to embody the Bobby Singer aesthetic for the gender euphoria of it all, and Garth would be no exception when he tries to become Bobby's replacement in S8.
Transwoman Charlie and transman Ash go in the same bucket, because that specific brand of technohermit comes with Silk Road sourced HRT. I can see Frank as a transman, but I'm leaning more towards repressed transwoman or a furry. He's not repressed at all as a furry, it just never came up.
Jo could have blossomed into such a beautiful futch bisexual if she had enough time. She should have been tumbled on a pool table by a stiletto-wearing 6-foot femme. (Jess or Bela are my favorites)
Ellen is a lesbian. I need to include a lesbian and Ellen is my pick. She might've had sex with John and might've married Bill, but she would be quivering in her boots if a pretty girl stared at her lips a little too long. Repression is not just for boys, she is mass-packaged-Destiel-fanfic-Dean levels of repression about this.
My favorite characters are the angels, who are beyond gender. Usually. However, Dean did forcemasc Castiel to assume a male gender, and Lucifer is a woman because she (like Amara) is at the epicenter of God/Chuck's misogyny/patriarchy upon which the entire Supernatural universe is hung.
The Winchester boys themselves are so It Depends in terms of sexuality to me. Maybe John is straight, maybe he joined the Marines because he realized he was not. Maybe Dean did underage sex work and later realized that he was genuinely attracted to men but refuses to crack that can of worms to try to divorce from the trauma of it all. Maybe Sam is a woman, or genderqueer, or "straight" until a situation breaks his gay hymen. Maybe Adam is the only straight one out of the bunch, but maybe he's a gay transman stealthing so well that only Michael knows (and doesn't even clock it because hey, he probably zoned out about humanity after Eden, so it wouldn't surprise him if cismen are like that now).
I am firm that Jack is genderqueer and a shapeshifter who picks their flesh configuration every morning, but Dean freaked out about it offscreen and shoved them back in the closet, and that's why Jack just doesn't show signs of being capable of that onscreen.
Also, trans!Rowena. It did just occur to me that it would be thematically fitting while still being an inversion of the Supernatural 'Parents Fuck You Up' thesis that Rowena was assigned male at birth, her wife died in childbirth, she tried to sell Crowley and then just abandoned him entirely one day to pursue her magical talents and also transition. This does still go hand-in-hand with transman Crowley, of course.
sam turns twelve in flagstaff, arizona, in a motel so sun-bleached and tired-looking it seems less built than abandoned halfway through becoming dust.
john is gone before dawn. hunt two towns over. maybe three. dean stopped asking for details years ago because details imply return times and return times imply promises and john has never been particularly careful with promises.
still.
he leaves dean forty bucks and a loaded gun and says, “keep the door locked.”
sam is still asleep when he goes.
dean watches the impala disappear through the curtains and gets that familiar ugly feeling in his stomach. the one that always comes after john leaves. not fear exactly. more like the sense that the whole world has tilted slightly wrong and now dean has to spend the next however-many-hours holding it upright with his bare hands.
behind him, sam mumbles sleepily into the pillow, “dean?”
“yeah?”
“you’re standing weird again.”
dean looks down at himself. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
sam opens one eye. squints at him. “like a divorcee.”
“i’m sixteen, asshole.”
“still.”
then he falls immediately back asleep, because twelve-year-old sam is still somehow both the bitchiest and most exhausted person alive.
dean grins despite himself.
later, when sam is awake for real, they walk to a grocery store six blocks away because dean’s trying to stretch forty dollars into three days. sam trails beside him in one of dean’s old flannels, sleeves swallowing his hands.
“what do you want for your birthday?” dean asks.
sam shrugs.
“c’mon, man. you gotta want something.”
another shrug. more stubborn this time.
dean stops walking. “sam.”
sam keeps his eyes on the sidewalk.
and there it is. that thing dean has started noticing lately. the way sam folds inward whenever anyone asks what he wants. like wanting itself is embarrassing. dangerous, even.
john’s voice lives in both of them by then. waste of money. don’t be soft. quit whining. learn to go without.
sam kicks at a pebble. mutters, “it’s stupid.”
“yeah? well, i’m stupid too. tell me anyway.”
sam hesitates so long dean thinks he’s not gonna answer at all.
then, very quietly:
“cake mix.”
dean blinks. “cake mix?”
“those little boxed birthday cakes.” sam’s ears are pink now. “the funfetti ones.”
and jesus christ.
dean has to look away for a second because there’s something so unbearably little-brother about that answer. something that cracks him open straight down the middle.
“dude,” he says softly. “that’s easy.”
sam brightens immediately, trying not to show it. “yeah?”
“yeah.”
they buy the cake mix. and canned frosting. and plastic rainbow candles shaped like stars. dean even lets sam pick soda instead of generic motel orange juice.
the cashier wishes sam happy birthday when she sees the candles.
sam smiles shyly and says thank you like he’s not used to adults speaking kindly to him for no reason.
dean hates everybody a little after that.
back at the motel, they realize halfway through making the cake that they do not actually own a cake pan.
sam bursts into helpless laughter first. loud, startled laughter, the kind that almost never gets out of him anymore. dean stares at him for a second, genuinely caught off guard by it.
“what?”
“nothing,” dean says quickly. too quickly.
sam narrows his eyes. “you’re doing the face.”
“what face?”
“the weird fond one.”
“shut up.”
they end up baking the cake batter in a frying pan on the motel hot plate. it comes out vaguely concave and a little burned around the edges.
perfect.
sam sits cross-legged on the bed eating directly from the pan while dean watches bad cable television with the sound low.
there’s frosting on sam’s mouth.
without thinking, dean reaches over and wipes it away with his thumb.
and then something happens.
just a pause. a tiny horrible pause where sam goes still beneath dean’s hand.
dean feels it too.
the warmth of sam’s skin. the softness of his face. the way sam looks at him after, eyes dark and unreadable for one strange stretched second.
then sam ducks his head fast.
“you got frosting too,” he mumbles.
dean pulls his hand back like he touched a live wire.
“yeah, well.”
outside, a train howls somewhere far off in the desert dark.
inside, sam leans sleep-heavy against dean’s shoulder by the end of the movie without asking first.
dean lets him.
of course he does.
sam is twelve years old today. all coltish limbs and enormous hands he hasn’t grown into yet. too smart. too sensitive. carrying loneliness around inside him like an extra organ.
dean looks down at the top of his head and thinks, with sudden terrifying certainty:
So, @19catsncounting once pointed out that John Winchester doesn't actually seem to be interested other men as friends. So obviously, I had to write an aplatonic!John fic, specifically about his breakup with Bobby, and drawing off the emotions from the platonic breakup I had that made me realize I was aplatonic (namely, "why didn't I end this sooner? This was more trouble than it was worth"). And then I accidentally ended up making Bobby sound kind of aplatonic too.
So go to AO3 and enjoy the aplatonic John and Bobby fic no one asked for, I guess.
For the best
1.5k, John Winchester & Bobby Singer, aplatonic!John Winchester, aplatonic!Bobby Singer
If John was honest with himself, this whole disaster was probably for the best. Sure, he wished things went down differently—he would prefer not to be herded out of the house by the barrel of Bobby’s shotgun—but now that they were safely on the highway out of Sioux Falls, John was happy to never return. He should have jettisoned Bobby a long time ago.
“Dean’s siren being a man means he’s bisexual.” “No, Dean’s siren being a man means he wants to fuck his brother.” Stop fighting. Dean’s siren being a man means that he’s bisexual and he wants to fuck his brother.
If Lucy knew what Gabriel was doing, he’d be so pissed. Michael would, too, but it was harder to get a reaction out of him. Mickey never responded to anything in fun ways; he just bottled up his anger, then exploded in fits of man rage. Lucifer, on the other hand? He was the king of flamboyant outbursts. It didn’t take much to annoy Lucifer into being entertaining. Stealing his ex would absolutely qualify.
Okay. Gabriel wasn’t exactly stealing Lucifer’s ex. That would require a) actually talking to Michael, and b) Michael seeing Gabriel as something other than an annoying peon. Still. Gabe was stealing Lucifer’s ex’s vessel, and that was almost as good.
Written for @nonacearo-week prompt aro4aro friends with benefits! Okay. Well. I started it way before then. But that was what motivated me to finish. Enjoy the... Abriel? Gadam? I don't like either of those. Enjoy Gabriel fucking Adam while thinking about Michael.
Headcanoned as acespec, arospec, afamspec, aplspec, aspec
Zoey
From Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand
Canonically asexual
And it hadn't been bad. It hadn't been great, either--at least not for Zoey--and as Grayson held her afterward, catching his breath and drawing circles on her shoulders with his thumb, Zoey had realized she could happily exist for the rest of her life without doing that ever again.
Kinger
From The Amazing Digital Circus
Headcanoned as loveless anattractional
Prince Wilhelm
From Young Royals
Headcanoned as demisexual
Montgomery Montgomery
From A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket
Headcanoned as aromantic
“I always meant to find a wife and start a family, but it just kept slipping my mind.”
