Tips for Writing Characters in Recovery from Addiction
I've encountered several portrayals of characters in recovery from addiction, both in fanfiction and published writing, that are clearly somewhat under-researched or leaning into stereotypes. Additionally, writing advice posts on the subject often feel detached and cite statistics rather than express humanity.
As a result, I decided to put together what I believe to be some characteristics and shared experiences of people in recovery that aren't just about withdrawal and might be less familiar to the general public. Perhaps they can be useful to writers aiming to write thoughtful and accurate portrayals of characters in similar situations.
Please note, of course, that both addiction and recovery are very unique, personalized experiences, so no one list will ever apply 100% to a single person—fictional or real.
Dreams of relapse. I personally experience these dreams at least 4-5 times a month, and they're unlike any other other dreams I have because they're so vivid and lifelike that I wake from them completely convinced for a moment that I did, in fact, relapse. These dreams do NOT mean you want to relapse. In fact, they are often a sign of extreme fear of relapse. The possibility of it is so nightmarish that your mind can only translate it into a literal night terror.
Adding to the previous point, the fear of relapse is seriously underestimated. Some people assume recovered addicts are always thinking about relapsing in a tempting way, but lots of these thoughts stem from the absolute, paralyzing terror of the past repeating itself—not an alluring urge to return to it.
Paranoia that everyone is looking at you thinking "they know the truth about my past. They know I was an addict." These beliefs are, of course, unfounded.
Constantly categorizing everything as "before addiction," "during addiction," and "after addiction." Even something as simple as looking at photographs can elicit thoughts like, "I was so happy in this picture. I had no idea what was coming for me in six months."
Counting recovery days nonstop to the point that it can even become debilitating. Your sense of time is forever altered because you're always trying to "catch up" on all the time you "wasted."
If people know, they will constantly make snide or condescending remarks, no matter how far along in recovery you are. "An addict is always an addict." "Well, I can see you're doing better than you used to be!" "I would never do something like that."
People will relentlessly assume you are less intelligent and talk to you like you're a child, especially if you're in the early stages of recovery.
Everyone knows addicts lose friends and/or family, and sometimes for good reasons, but the sheer number of people who leave for no apparent reason when you're actively trying to get better is surprising. The stigma surrounding addiction is so intensely negative that most people don't even want to be tangentially associated with it.
Addicts and recovered addicts are fetishized in unexpected ways— sometimes because of the obviously sickly appearance, the assumption that they will do anything to feed their addiction, the false belief that they are "fun" or "exciting," or maybe even that they just seem pathetic. Random people in public will approach you and straight-up ask for the most disrespectful sexual acts you can imagine. (After my addiction became common knowledge, people I thought were good people suddenly started trying like mad to sleep with me and then ditched me entirely. That's probably one of the most painful learning moments I had).
Physical symptoms can appear months, even years, after recovery starts. I know some who have noticed their hands suddenly becoming shakier, their hair thinner, and unusual chest pains.
You often become so angry and guilty with your past self that it prevents you from seeing how extraordinary your progress really is.
You start to realize how far you've come and how liberated you are in the smallest of moments. One of the greatest accomplishments of mine was realizing one morning when I woke up that the last thought I'd had before going to bed had not been about my addiction. Throughout my entire years of addiction, it was literally always the first thing on my mind when I woke up, even if it was just getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. It was the last thing I thought of every single night before I fell asleep.
Speaking of sleep, a full night's sleep! Full meals! Not feeling sick 100% of the time. At first, it's almost like growing into a new body.
Your memory is not the same as before, whether you remember too much or there are big dark patches in your mind.
The appreciation. As difficult and painful as it is, a world in recovery is also so often a world of supreme beauty. You pay attention to life's details in ways you never could have imagined before. Things assume a gentle sincerity and sensitivity they never had previously.
Relapse does not always even happen. Some people quit and never look back. I decided to change my life in every way in February 2021 and spent all of that March relapsing. By April 1, I was ready and never went back once.
Addicts are always deemed selfish and narcissistic, even recovered addicts. Sometimes, ironically, recovery leads to increased empathy. It can take reaching a low point to understand another person's low point.
Recovery can be quiet. It's not always over-the-top constant relapses, breakdowns, etc. Sometimes it's just very private and silent attempts to make your life better.
Finally, a point I would like to emphasize is that addiction is a lonely, isolating experience, but often recovery is too. Yes, you can have rehab (if you're lucky to get into a good one), and, yes ,you might have a group or loved ones who help you (I hope). But every reason behind addiction and what you're actually addicted to is so individualized that no one will ever wholly share your experience. Finding a community can be challenging.
But, despite it all, recovery is a unique, beautiful, enlightening experience. If I were given the choice to go back and make it so I'd never had any of it happen, I would choose that option in a heartbeat. Still, I know in the depths of my soul, I'd be trading away some of the most raw, vulnerable, and profound lessons of my life in favor of blissful ignorance.
Above all else, I hope if you write a character in recovery, you try to portray them as you would anyone else—a nuanced and interesting human being 🫶
Reblogging this today after reading a published story in which an addict character miraculously quits cold turkey and is somehow an infinitely healthier and better person after that! Whenever I read stuff like that, I just feel sad. Even if it's a fantasy world story.
In reality, many physical and mental symptoms are present for a lot of people for YEARS, potentially forever! I can't even list everything wrong with my own body without sounding like an exaggeration. I have to be honest and admit I most likely shortened my own lifespan.
Writers, please do your characters and readers justice by clarifying there is no easy way.
Grief is inconsistent. It's not logical. It doesn't follow rules and the one thing about grief is that everyone processes it differently.
You can grieve the living, and you can grieve the dead. You might grieve an unrequited love that was never meant to be, or you might be grieving the death of a loved one.
People react in ways that might not make sense to others. Your character might cry over a misplaced object. They might feel 'fine' one moment, and then completely overwhelmed in the next moment. Small, unexpected things can trigger this. Your character is in public and briefly hears lyrics of their loved one's favourite song? This could easily trigger a meltdown.
Mundane things can become emotional. This means cooking meals or seeing a certain snack in the shop. Reaching for their phone and opening a specific conversation as if to text that one person by pure habit.
It shows up in behaviour. These are the physical affects that someone would see. Perhaps something a close friend or family member would only notice. Maybe the character looks more tired than normal, or has far more nightmares. Forgetfulness, withdrawal, or conversely, getting more attached to others. Does your character throw themselves into work to stay busy, or pick up random hobbies they thought they'd enjoy, but actually hate? Might they take up risky habits just to feel some other emotion again?
People around them act differently. Friends avoiding topics, people either trying to get closer to help, or even withdrawing from the relationship altogether.
There isn't a timeline. The event might not be something that your character gets over. It sticks with them. It builds or breaks their character. Setbacks and obstacles: This event might change the shape of their future completely. Do they get over it quickly? Do they seek help to process it? Do they power through and take this grief with them their entire life, or do they fall to the intensity?
Think about a time in any media you've consumed (webcomics, TV series, anime, films, books, etc...) where someone has lost something. This could be a lost love, a lost life, or even lost someone they thought they hated.
More in the linguistic resources and word of the day (wotd) tags! Let me know if there are any topics you would like to see covered!
This collection focuses more on the shore and ships! I am still trying to post my second river words post but I am still being thwarted in this. Late to @tolkienseaweek
Vaire in Quenya means wavy, derived from the root way meaning blowing of wind
Falas and Falassë are the Sindarin and Quenya words for seashore or surf line. Both derive from the root phal meaning foam.
Uil is an older Sindarin word for seaweed, derived from uil meaning a long trailing plant. Eäruilë is the Quenya word
Côf is a Sindarin word meaning bay. Lond or londë seen in words like Alqualondë, meant a haven or land locked harbour
Chwinn means whirlpool in earlier Sindarin. It derives from whin meaning whirl or eddy
Duivrant means aqueduct, deriving from an older Sindarin word for stream, duinf, and rant, an older word for bridge.
Iant was the more commonly used Sindarin word for bridge with yanta being the Quenya cognate. The Quenya word for telepathy, palanyantië, derives from this, meaning distant bridge.
Duithrant, canal, also derives from duif, and rant, meaning path
Luntë means a boat in Quenya, usually referring to a smaller boat. It derives from lut meaning to float
Cair is the Sindarin word for a larger ship with cirya being the Quenya cognate. CĂrdan of course means shipwright or ship maker.
Tyluma in Quenya means mast, derived from tyul meaning to stand straight
Lhorn is an older Sindarin word for a quiet harbor or anchorage, derived from lur meaning be still, quiet or calm
Belon and velontë are the Sindarin and Quenya words for a ship’s sail
I love that a lion with an eagle's head and wings is such a well-known mythical beast but apparently the English language can only agree on a grand total of 3 out of 7 letters in its name.
The reason your fantasy pantheon doesn't feel authentic is because you're starting from the wrong end. Real-world polytheism is syncretic – just deities from neighbouring cultures getting smashed together at high speed and leaving it for nerds with too much time on their hands to figure out how it makes sense. You are yourself a nerd with too much time on your hands. Don't start out asking yourself what domains make sense together. Pick domains at random and work backwards to invent a theology and metaphysics whereby of course the god of war is also the god of baked goods. What kind of silly question is that?
It's also the product of a BUNCH of nerds with too much time on their hands. Explain some theology to an opinionated friend! Classify whatever they come up with as heresy! Or at least make it a recurring background argument.
Scribbles & Scratches @scribblesandscratches - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
