I am the scrub dad

26/F/Canada. Name's Haley.

[cryptid-sighting]

[natalieironside]

[randomfandomteacher]

finally, the answers we needed.

[studentlifeproblems]

[gharibajameel]

Individualism is a poison upon this earth.

[gharibajameel]

You and i overlap in more categories than we remain seperate. A mirror is held up every time you face another human. I am you and you are me bitch

[illjustgoinsanealittle-deactiva]

Looking at the notes is so fucking funny cause literally everyone is like “no thank I am the exception” lol no you are not. All your experiences are cosmically mundane and you gotta learn to see the beauty in that instead of feeling threatened.

[screenshotsofdespair]

[averytinygoat]

[girthakitt-blog]

that is an outrage

[mymodernmet]

Sultan the Pit Pony is a 200-meter-long, raised-earth sculpture made of 60,000 tonnes of coal shale in Caerphilly, South Wales. Designed by Welsh artist Mick Petts, the colossal work of art is known as the largest figurative earth sculpture in the United Kingdom.

[sheabutterbitch]

Passionate about little baby potatoes baked with garlic, butter, rosemary, and sea salt

[yoitscro]

Ship dynamics :-)

[fairytaleofgears]

[spartanlocke]

[imaveryevilgirl]

[soupsy-daisy-deactivated2023072]

no thats. thats literally the homestuck quadrant system

[notajerusalemcricketd-deactivat]

What? What ?? What ???

[cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024]

WHAT THE FUCK IS HOMESTUCK

[notajerusalemcricketd-deactivat]

At this point I'm starting to think it's just an internet ARG where people collectively make shit up to fuck with us

[ernuotori]

hey notajerusalemcricket, i need you to understand that at one point tumblr DID actually fake a whole children's television show using the Squiddles from homestuck so... the opposite of your reblog has already happened

[notajerusalemcricketd-deactivat]

hm ?

[velenotellovt]

Homestuck is the demonic ghost Haunting the old decrepit House of Tumblr, and new tumblrites are the unsuspecting buyers who thought the house was "quaint" and "full of charm" and never questioned why it was dirt cheap

[official-keyes]

a soft friend rests in the light

[official-keyes]

Uh oh… getting… sleepy….

[official-keyes]

Unconchious

[cremanata]

♡ go ahead and grab your choccy milk ♡

twitter | ig

[dashaibo]

[brothertedd-deactivated20240822]

[thewickedwilds]

Me when its 1 day after Halloween and the capitalists are already blasting the christmas sale commercials

[titkoks]

obsessed with the line “if i can continue to be a minor nuisance to the forces of nature trying to decompose me, i’m gonna consider that a win. the wheel of time will continue to turn, and i with it, like a nail in a tire”

[thewiglesswonder]

[squashfolded]

[0rki3]

[badjokesbyjeff]

I recently heard about this young adult novel in which Schrodinger’s cat and Pavlov’s dog team up for a cross county adventure…

So I headed on down to the library to see if they had a copy for my 10 year old daughter.

The librarian said that my description rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

[themodernmaccabee]

*inhale*

Jeff.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

lowers you into my tank of piranhas but there are only like 6 of them and they’re fed regularly so nothing happens

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

pulls you out and yells at you for struggling too hard and scaring my fish. they’re sensitive.

[raptorofwar]

Readers might think this is a joke but piranha are indeed sensitive.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

it’s what makes them such caring boyfriends

[jumpingjacktrash]

once upon a time my friend tom had a piranha tank, and he had one of those little pirate treasure bubblers in there, and on top of the pirate treasure pile was a real gold coin. he would tell people if they could reach in there and get it they could keep it.

of course no one did, because PIRANHAS.

except that when he told me about this, he added, without taking a breath, “NOT YOU JESSE YOU WATCH TOO MUCH DISCOVERY CHANNEL.”

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

lowers you into my tank of piranhas but there are only like 6 of them and they’re fed regularly so nothing happens

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

pulls you out and yells at you for struggling too hard and scaring my fish. they’re sensitive.

[raptorofwar]

Readers might think this is a joke but piranha are indeed sensitive.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

it’s what makes them such caring boyfriends

[jumpingjacktrash]

once upon a time my friend tom had a piranha tank, and he had one of those little pirate treasure bubblers in there, and on top of the pirate treasure pile was a real gold coin. he would tell people if they could reach in there and get it they could keep it.

of course no one did, because PIRANHAS.

except that when he told me about this, he added, without taking a breath, “NOT YOU JESSE YOU WATCH TOO MUCH DISCOVERY CHANNEL.”