Green Meadow

M/28 Tea, not coffee. "Determined to go somewhere, but confused on how to get there." sometimes an artist, mostly a disappointment.

[theclassyissue]

[anxietyproblem]

[ex0skeletal-undead]

Vampire by Elliot Jolivet

[keepongaming]

last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere

i wasn’t joking

[gendersnaps]

this post has haunted me for like 3 years. every time i start to think i imagined it, it shows up on my dash again and then immediately disappears into the ether for another 17 months

[lea-andres]

“Who doesn’t banana post from time to time?”

-My fiancé

[wordsaremylife]

…I don’t remember posting this…

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

Franz Kafka, the metamorphosis / Jane Austen

[scrundlefish]

If I improve the life of everyone around me, eventually, my life will improve. Right?

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

What if the toys in toy story went to a catholic woman’s house and all of her figurines of crucified jesus started screaming out in endless pain whenever she left the room

[yrotagrup-deactivated20240321]

[kendrene]

Look, this is probably going to end up as an unpopular post, because God knows the level of brainrot capitalism and fast consumption caused in people's brains, but I'd rather not get TV shows for a while if it means writers get their rights defended and recognized.

Entertainment can't come at the cost of fair pay, healthy work environment and ethical practices.

[garbagefae]

There are soooooooo many shows and books to catch up on. We dont need new shows or new episodes of our favorites. We can enjoy our entertainment during a writer's strike. we are fine and it doesn't really effect us much. We need to band together and support the writers.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Stage 1: your local tap water is potable (safe to drink), but at-home water filtration products are marketed to increase "flavor" and "purity." these products are not actually capable of sanitizing unsafe water, and do not replace access to clean water. meanwhile, "lifestyle" bottled water becomes more popular due to heavy marketing. bottled water is not a necessity, but a stylish accessory.

Stage 2: your tap water is probably potable. the public water system is entering decline. poor and rural areas are at risk, but access to clean water is not seen as a mainstream issue. meanwhile, at-home filter technology has become more advanced. consumers are now familiar with filtration products (most have a starter product such as a 'Brita') and more willing to invest in higher-cost options. however, only the most expensive filtration can actually replace access to clean water--at this point, drinkable tap water is still the expectation, and its absence would cause serious inconvenience to the middle-class (who prefer but are not reliant on bottled and home-filtered water).

Stage 3: the public water system is solidly in decline. the quality of your tap water is deteriorating. Its safety is unknown and regarded with suspicion. when you call the public utilities department to complain, they recommend buying a water filter. you contact your local representatives, but they are unconcerned--you are one of a small number of callers (most people just buy a home filter), and you aren't wealthy enough for your vote to matter (if you were, you would already own a home filter). reluctantly, you pick up a few gallons of water from the grocery store, and pull out your phone to look up water filter brands. your more vulnerable neighbors have fewer options--many continue to drink the water, aware that they are being exposed to unknown health risks beyond their control.

Stage 4: the public water system is collapsing. your tap water is not potable. it will make you sick. this is acceptable because at-home filtration--now advanced enough to replace safe tap water--is a commonplace appliance in middle-class households. lower-income groups must rely on rented/community filters or bottled water. expensive and often aspirational, home filters are now analogous to washing machines: where the middle-class can wash their clothes & filter their water at home, those on tight budgets must rely on laundromats & water delivery. the rich of course don't give a damn--they have cleaners to do their laundry, and their taps are connected to a clean private source.

(and, of course, they own stock in Nestle.)

[lionfloss]

via

[fanonical]

i am down on my knees begging ea to give us customisable sims worlds again

let me place lots! put my houses anywhere! please!

[scrundlefish]

PAHLEASE, WE ARE BEGGING YOU.

[levicopter]

I was bored so these happened 

SmileCraft!

[scrundlefish]

THIS IS MY FAVORITE

[bythelost-forthedamned]

For @scrundlefish to see again

[scrundlefish]

Reblog for lyfe

[scrundlefish]

IT’S BACK!!!!

[brainsanalysis-deactivated20210]

Hello please reblog this if you’re okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[notthedisneyyourelookingfor]

[repair-bear]

IS THAT A GIF IN A GIF IN A GIF

[ven-gethenian-blog]

This is officially the best thing on tumblr.

[nerrath]

Wtf

[mccullou29]

I forgot about this and here it is again. Now i will have it forever.

[ynkkbot]

i have never seen this but i am that i had because this is the best thing ever

[th3d0n]

HOLYSHITWTFAMAZEBALLS how is this the first time this guy has come across my dash?

[firebendinglemur]

Me: -so after it became apparent that ‘retarded’ had become a term of abuse, educators and psychiatrists switched to other terms like ‘handicapped’ or ‘special needs’ in an attempt to -

George Orwell, whom I’ve dragged forward in time with my arcane powers because I’m lonely and want someone to talk to: You have a telephone in your pocket?  It listens to you all the time?

Me: Never mind about that, the point is, young people now mock each other by sending the wheelchair emoji - that’s a type of electronic heiroglyph - to suggest mental deficiency and shout SPESHUL!!!! while doing offensive imitations of disabled facial expressions and posture.  So any attempt to lexographically make crimethink impossible is pretty much doomed because the meaning of words in everyday conversation can’t be controlled by a dictionary entry, no matter how many Ministry of Truth employees-

Orwell: It reports your location to the telephone company at all times?

[witharsenicsauce]

[havartia]

[scrunchie-face]

Ok but both the additions actually miss the point of the original, which is that Orwell is fixating on something which is actually MORE RELEVANT to his concerns than the language issue

[triviallytrue]

#I bring Alan Turing back from the dead#I show him GPT-3 and ask him if he thinks it passes the Turing test#and ask him what he thinks of our computers that are billiona of times as powerful as his#but all he can say#with unmitigated tears of joy in his eyes#is#you mean to tell me that they legalized homosexuality?

(via @compiler-specific)