Secretlyperfectprince @secretlyperfectprince - Tumblr Blog

Why do men (yes, trans women included) throw tantrums when the topic of male privilege is brought up? Privilege doesn’t mean you’ve never faced hardships in your life, it just means that you have certain advantages that other groups don’t get to enjoy. That could be on the basis of class, race, sex, and/or other factors.

Like as a white person I’ve never once had an issue with white privilege being brought up. I know I have privilege because of my race, hell when I was an edgy teenager I stole candy and snacks and one time the security guard straight up looked at me doing it and nothing happened. I’m aware I would’ve been way less likely to get away with that if I was Black or brown. I’ve never feared for my life after getting pulled over by a cop. I’ve probably gotten more opportunities with jobs because I’m a white woman (who, by the way benefit the most from DEI, unlike what conservatives say). We need to acknowledge this privilege that we have so we can help fight the systems that keep those privileges in place.

But men? Oh boy, don’t get me started. They’ll come up with every argument in the world. “It’s 2025, we’re equal now!” “B-but the draft! But alimony! But child support!” “Women can get rich selling feet pics online!” “It’s easier for women to get sex!”

Can you name a place where men can’t go to secondary school? Where men can’t leave the house without their wife? Where baby boys are aborted or killed after birth simply because they’re boys? Where men and boys have part of their penis cut off causing long-lasting pain and trauma simply to stop them from feeling pleasure during sex? Where men have to keep an unwanted child inside of them? Where men are encouraged to become prostitutes instead of going to college? Where men have to beg to be taken seriously by doctors for their period/pregnancy issues and get told they’re just being emotional or gaining too much weight?

These are all privileges that men don’t have to deal with. Some of them they’ll never have to deal with because it’s physically impossible (pregnancy, periods, FGM). And yes, these things happen in the US and UK (because men love to argue that women aren’t oppressed anymore in the US and UK).

Acknowledging that you have privileges doesn’t mean you’ve never had a hard time in life. Pretty sure we’ve all had difficult times. But there are certain hardships I don’t have to deal with as a white person (racial profiling by cops, being called racial slurs, etc) just like there are also certain things men don’t have to deal with that women do (everything I mentioned.)

butchpeace

How do you measure pain?

Great article by Kitty Robinson about whose pain matters, and whose doesn’t, in the “queer” community.

xxactlyperfect

im-not-an-object-ok

Take the time to read the whole thing, I struggled not quoting the whole thing here because it was so good:

"Sometime in 2013, I was driving with my trans girlfriend of 3 years. They were angry with me. We parked in a parking lot. They became more angry with me because I talked back. I do not remember what the fight was about. From the passenger seat, they lunged at me and slammed my head three times against my driver’s side window. I became dazed. My vision blurred. My cheek was bleeding from their nails. My hearing was foggy. As I turned to look at them, I saw their face fall and the tears gathering in their eyes. Numbly, I reached for them. I held them as they cried. They were sorry (as domestic abusers often are). They were experiencing intense self-hatred, self-disgust, and sadness. I pet their hair and told them everything was going to be okay until I had to open my door and throw up.

When we were breaking up a year later, this incident became a fixture in our fights. I couldn’t stop bringing it up. “I held you,” I would scream, “after you gave me a concussion! I held you and I told you it would be all right!” This hurt my trans girlfriend. This incident had caused them a lot of pain. It hurt them to be reminded they had done this to me. It hurt them that I insisted on still being upset about it a year later. It hurt them that I would bring it up after being told that bringing it up caused them a lot of pain. It hurt.

I’ll ask you again: what about my pain?"

and

"In most circles of trans activism, this question is forbidden. The lesbian’s pain is not acknowledged as pain. It is dismissed outright, without hesitation, as bigotry of the worst kind. It is dismissed more easily and with more completeness than the media response to murders by angry, lonely white men. The humanity of a female person who wants to gather with other female people is gone in the blink of an eye. The humanity of a lesbian who explictly says she is not interested in male trans people romantically or sexually is erased. Now, she’s just a TERF, who deserves what all TERF deserve."

This essay is just so good

womenarehuman

Male pain (often from their ego being challenged) is considered paramount, while female pain (often real physical or deep emotional trauma) is considered as trivial or irrelevant.

Glad someone is calling out this disparity.

vintage-bentley

TERFs are incapable of pain. TERFs are removed from the section of humanity that have complex reasons for the actions they take, the words they speak, and the viewpoints they hold. TERFs do not have rich emotional landscapes or varied interests. TERFs are not people (certainly not lesbian or women, either.)

So of course, the trans woman’s pain is the pain that matters, because TERF (read: female, read: lesbian) pain is not truly even a factor.

Perfectly puts into words how “TERF” is used to dehumanise women and paint us as faceless and emotionless villains.

julienbakerfavormp3-deactivated

what really amuses me whenever I see the “pregnant people” not “pregnant women” debate is that there was a case in 1979 where the Supreme Court of Canada found that denying pregnancy benefits was not discrimination against women but against pregnant people. that it just affected women? 🤷🏽‍♀️ too bad, so sad. 🤷🏽‍♀️

the case was overruled but lol. obscuring sex based oppression isn’t nearly as new and trendy as you think it is, tumblr kids. old white men have been on it for some time!

furiosa-femininst

Damn, there go my weekend plans

ordalya

Baking soda is a base, vinegar is an acid. When you mix it, it react and form CO2 (the gaz forming the bubble) and water. They are neutralising each other.

Keep them separate, they will be more useful.

If you want the abrasive of the baking soda, mix it with a bit of water and use a sponge.

If there is scale in your kettle, use a bit of vinegar mixed with hot water to dissolve it, then mix hot water with a tea spoon of baking soda in the kettle to get rid of the vinegar smell and taste.

Mixing domestic grade vinegar and baking soda is pretty much harmless but it is just wasting materials.

furiosa-femininst

Thanks but I was making a joke lol

thefemaleterrorist

“oh no girl maintenance is so hard” “it costs so much just do to your nails and body it’s not enjoyable” just stop doing it? have you ever thought of that..?

violetsandshrikes

I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family

I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, let’s called her “P”, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives

Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.

The reality for lots of tradwives living “perfect lives” is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasn’t in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didn’t matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.

Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people don’t consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.

It wasn’t that she was “stupid”, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like they’re being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, women’s bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.

She’s doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a woman’s support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.

I don’t envy tradwives, but I don’t find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, they’re also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, they’re screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isn’t carefully curated).

achillesinhighheels

disc80s

embroidery cake

thehotgirlproject

IT'S NOT A CAKE

blackswallowtailbutterfly

Very cool but it makes me sad that I can't eat it.

stevenjgarza

Wizard worm just emerged from a wizarding hole! Lucky you!!!✨🪱🪄🍀

sukikabuki

🫡

radfae

i’m living in a women’s homeless shelter, and there are multiple trans-identified males here. the shelter is at full capacity every day, and there’s about 10 people trying to get a bed every day. these tims are residents here and keep women — including elderly women, disabled women, women escaping domestic violence — from getting shelter. they use the same showers, bathrooms, and dorms. cross-dressing is a choice whereas womanhood is not, so tims are responsible for making their own spaces and have no right to intrude on and take away from vulnerable and traumatized women because they’re scared of other men.

exactly this

meowteq

You ever notice how the only people saying porn addiction isn't real are people with porn addictions lol

luluxfem

A reply I got on a post talking about that I was an online prostitut at 15

I’m speechless

laoslsssss-deactivated20250915

I mean, it’s true, is it not? You can never take back what you did. You will always be that dumb little slut who begged for male cum. This is why TERFs are the way they are. They get fucked and soiled, regret it, and take it out on the world. Well, no amount of lashing out will fill that hole that male cock punctured in your heart. And you QUITE LITERALLY asked for it, too! LOL. You’re funny. I’m sharing this around. Not like you aren’t used to being shared around. Keep being a riot.

transbehaviordirectory

This person is defending child rape because they’re mad at terfs

luluxfem

This post isn’t even about anything trans related that’s the most insane part

margeryofkelpe

Another perfect example of Islam’s rules about women being patriarchal and oppressive. I don’t care that it’s a choice, the fact this woman (presumably in part due to upbringing or obligation) has to consider so many extra things instead of just living her life while her stupid husband dances around like an idiot relishing in her restriction is fucking sad.

bendkdnsndmfk-deactivated202512

The fact the he’s just dancing goofily in the background while shes explaining how she can’t do anything because of her hijab and how she can’t even go on a roller coaster without her husband is just so… like.. evil…… like he knows exactly why this is wrong and he likes it.

bowlby4

butyoutoldmeiwasfunny

profeminist

"If you're a man upset at being lumped in with rapists, attackers and general arseholes just because of your gender, maybe take it up with the men who give us a bad name instead of women who have to be on guard 24/7 because of them."

Source: https://x.com/Billablog/status/1008209354384760832