my back pocket

semlramis alt account (tf stuff @dad2uncle3)

[aurpiment]

New hairstyle “monkhawk” which is like the tonsure of a medieval European monk gelled to stick straight up forming a basket-like shape

[operatorfortheboogeymen]

I drew fanart.

[notajerusalemcricket-deactivate]

[pineappical]

does anybody else remember what these two had during drive (2011)

[regalfirebird]

adding this

[columboscreens]

[memewhore]

[decellie03]

nothing will ever be funnier to me than the 30-50 feral hogs joke phase, I think about it at least once a week

[dripped-in-my-pearls]

Happy 30-50 feral hogs day

[msilverstar]

World heritage post

[omegastation]

After the war someone is going to write a book about Hackett and multiple chapters will involve the number of times Shepard called to report something completely unexpected that almost caused the end of the galaxy as they all know it and how Hackett had to roll with it

At some point it became business as usual but at the beginning, it must have been a shock. Turians and Cerberus on Tuchanka? It's more likely than you think.

[omegastation]

A LIVING PROTHEAN?????

he's like "sure, sure"

[odd-dragon]

Hackett (And Shepard tbh lol) throughout literally the entire reaper war:

[omegastation]

"Commander, I've just finished reading your report."

Just picture Hackett casually receiving a new report from Shepard, not knowing it's going to be THE Leviathan Codex, rewriting the history of the galaxy as we know it.

[omegastation]

at least 90% of the time, Hackett has to manage the fear of everyone building the Crucible because Shepard keeps sending former galactic enemies to help. After the RACHNI, here are some geth primes coming, no biggie

[legallybrunettedotcom]

[inbabylontheywept]

Until death, all defeat is psychological.

[lmaonade]

[clownhooves]

they should do this in real life

[azaablue]

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be a part of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

[mamoru]

ok ok ok. there is a lot of misinformation going around about what exactly happened, so let me be clear:

LG and windows were sharing a tender moment. suddenly, LG shifted uncomfortably, visibly distraught, though mostly silent.

"are you alright...?" asked windows, worriedly.

"I...I just..." LG looked away, eyes full of tears, voice full of tremble.

"you can tell me, no matter what it is! I want to share everything! the highs and the lows!"

"share everything...do you really mean that...? everything?"

"of course!" declared windows immediately, with a bit of a laugh and without a moment of hesitation.

LG slowly turned back to windows, quivering.

"then...then..." LG took a deep breath. "please, windows...if you ever detect an LG TV or LG monitor...could you...install the LG Monitor App? could you promise?" LG's voice was absent of the usual lordliness. instead, LG's words trailed off, as though LG was about to disappear. "the LG Monitor App lets me know that my friends are okay, and, I just..."

windows clasped LG's hands firmly. "of course! I promise!!!" windows continued, trying hard to be reassuring. "even if I get hooked up to an LG TV or LG monitor that has never been connected to wifi, I WILL install the LG Monitor App and connect to you with my own internet! so you can always know exactly what your friends are up to!"

"...with access to all system resources...?" inquired LG, warily.

"for you? every single one.” windows smiled smilingly. “always.”

[behindnightmaresanddreams]

there HAD to be a better way to explain this...

[catboybiologist]

No no I think this was the best

[skyrigel]

downloading my pdfs and epubs so i can always never read them

[depsidase]

[my-dailydreams]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

The courtship rituals displayed by the juvenile male are varied and complex.

[hotvampireadjacent]

[cin-the-moth]

absolutely no pants just letting it hang

[streetkit]

it does suck that the government defunded PBS but it's also so fucking funny that now that they don't take uncle sam's slavery dollars they're running videos like "How america's foundation was built on genocide"

no more being polite about it fuck the USA

[orcarriagesthatwork]

I think about this cake every day

[tizzymcwizzy]

sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious

[microsuedemouse]

OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

I love a botched cake.

[helenarth]

one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"

[itseasytoremember]

I just feel like it's important to post the Sacred Texts

[shofarsogood]

[hollowboobtheory]

I have to upload this as a video bc you can see her think this in real time

[maraudingcaptain]

OP you just can't leave out this golden comment

[emil]