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ellievsbear
đȘŒ
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Sweet Seals For You, Always
d e v o n
YOU ARE THE REASON
izzy's playlists!
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
trying on a metaphor
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Today's Document
Discoholic đȘ©
shark vs the universe
KIROKAZE
Misplaced Lens Cap
No title available
Stranger Things
#extradirty
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Iraq
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from TĂŒrkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from El Salvador
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@shadowyenthusiaststudentus
The best thing for me, as an ex- Starbucks employee, is the horror that genuinely is the milk delivery when itâs only you and one other shift member. Though, I did end up learning how to carry six individual gallons of milk at once.
Also that change from Customer Service âąÂźÂ© voice back to normal to informal joking-threats is amazing
Yeah the whiplash from âHi welcome to starbucks how can I help you! :)â to âIâLL FUCK YOUR WIFEâ killed me.
MILK.
DELIVERY.
this is so wild, this guy thought his landlord was going into his house and leaving him post-it notes but he just had an extreme case of carbon monoxide poisoningÂ
Modern ghost story
Did reddit save this dudes life
What the fuck
NO BUT I READ THIS WHOLE THING ONCE.
he got the CO detector out, saw that it was in dangerous levels (there was a problem with an underground parkade in his building, iirc), calmly went âshitâ, and went to the hospital. If he didnât get that advice, he would most likely be dead now.
The best part? He didnât get a webcam app or anything. He just made a folder, called it Webcam, and called it a night in his carbon monoxide induced delirium.
This is honestly one of my favorite Reddit stories.
listen. listen. the consumption of animal products is about mutually beneficial relationships Not domination and that's why prioritizing animal r*ghts over animal welfare is an absolutely brain fungus take to have
urban leftists who've never so much as raised a chicken will be like "umm think about the politics of your diet???" because they can't conceive of the fact that domestication is an incredibly sweet gig for most livestock where they don't have to look for their own food or shelter or water are protected from predators and also get free healthcare and a quick clean death
100%
The actual issues with our current livestock system are because of capitalism and industrialization. Can we please focus our energy on the global paradigm being cruel and unsustainable to us, the planet, AND livestock instead of getting lost in virtue signaling
@sapphicspritzee look tiktok stole the post you made like 7 years ago
im fucking losing it lads
i donât think violence, or greed are the roots of human nature. i think warping looms and making soups are.
everyone is zeroing on the soup part which is nice but weaving has been around for at least 12,000 years (more like 30,000 years but yee). weaving is one of the first technologies that human beings developed and perfected and i think thatâs neat.
two fundamental needs are warm (soup) and soft (fabric)
tiddy
Bees choose to live in the box where they know damn well that a large fraction of the honey will periodically be removed, instead of simply leaving that place like they are perfectly able to do, because the human box comes with an invulnerable titan to guard them against all threats. The bees consider the payment offered to this colossal mercenary to be a pretty good deal.
Bees know about supply and demand
Protection money
Protection honey
first of all none of us could afford hannibalâs therapy
unaired episode where hannibal accepts medicaid
Hannibal is independently wealthy and deeply invested in fucking with people who are interesting enough. Show up with a good story about how you are trying very hard to not give in to the urge to make tiny statues out of people's teeth and he'll see you for free.
Sliding scale payments where the scale is how fucking weird you are
The worst thing I ever did at a D&D table was when our DM ran out of place name ideas and told us the name of the port town we needed to go to was "Bar Harbor".
So I tricked him into roleplaying the slightly-too-helpful town guard into giving us directions to- Well you see, the party has been out in the wilderness for like a MONTH, we're all a mess, the dwarf's beard is out of control, so can you tell us- Where can we find the Bar Harbor Barber?
But we were not done. We each took turns, like a pack of velociraptors.
We also had Dryad in the party and a few of her branches got broken in a fight and now her whole canopy is unbalanced and it looks awful, but she really needs to see a specialist, is there a Bar Harbor Arbor Barber?
The Paladin also wanted to look in on a small church he'd heard of, that the city had a patron saint, who was boiled alive in a cauldron of ale, so where is the temple of the Bar Harbor Larger Martyr?
It was around this point that Chris started to tire of this nonsense.
The bard, naturally, wanted to go carousing, and he'd heard this town had some of the most attentive and welcoming Ladies of the Night on the continent, known by thier brightly colored stocking bands, so had he seen any of the Bar harbor Ardor Parlor Farber Garters?
Chris immediately escalated to threats of a Total Party Kill.
Unfortunately, I'd had time to prepare and-
"What do you want?"
"I just wanted to know if you'd seen my cousin."
"...Your cousin?"
"Yeah, I know it's a long shot, but he's got a pretty distinctive appearence and you might have seen him around town."
"Oh No-"
"Okay so he's Welsh and the whole family used to be in the wagon-making business but he got into clothes manufacture until there was an accident with a lamp black dye and now he's permanently stained a sooty color and that really turns heads, so now he's got a job drawing in crowds for the city funded swap meet- no, not the Drow that also works there, I mean like the inside of a fireplace- anyway, he got tired of people mixing the two of them up so he started wearing this fancy armor with a magical +1 charisma bonus-"
"Gallus I swear to God I *WILL* Summon the Tarraqsue-"
"-So have you seen my cousin, Arthur Carter, former Sartor but now he's the Darker Harker for the Charter Barter of Bar Harbor, the one with the Charmer Armor?"
Amazingly, we survived the Tarrasque.
You do realise Bar Harbor is a real place, right? Itâs in Maine:
Important Clarification:
Chris the DM is FROM Bar Harbor, Maine.
We did this to his Home Town.
itâs called a what?!
oh my god it is
is it really going to say ass of the bag???
cowards
HGDYKDFCCHCKHKHCHCKGCHKCLC
I'm sorry but I refuse to leave this in the tags.
Tolkien did know this, he left specific instructions on how to translate his works and what to keep. Which is why Bilbo Baggins from Bag End became Bilbon Sacquet de Cul-de-Sac
BILBO FROM THE ASS END OF HOBBITSVILLE
this is so funny
"He gave me my mail and said 'Are you expecting anything from Germany?' and I said 'I might be - we've got friends over there'," said Mr Biggs.
"He said 'Have a look at this letter' - so I had a look and turned it over and our friends' address was on the back of it and on the front it just said England."
Mr Biggs said the card had been sent from a sorting office in Germany close to Gloucester's twin town of Trier and had not been opened.
"I said 'How on earth did you know it was for me?' and he said 'I didn't, I've been wandering around with this', said Mr Biggs.
"My wife and I are absolutely shocked but this puts posties at five or six stars and top of the tree for me this Christmas."
The card, it is believed, may have originally been addressed correctly and so was sent to the right area of England - but with an address label that fell off at some point.
A Royal Mail spokesman said: "Royal Mail's team of 'address detectives' are renowned for their ability to ensure poorly addressed items of mail reach their intended recipients however, even by their standards, this is pretty impressive."
the royal mail detectives are a weird bunch, and like if it was addressed right it would get right but i love the idea they went "well it's from Trier so send it to the twinned town first"
Terry Pratchett would have loved this
âPerhaps you have forgotten. Thatâs one of the great problems of our modern world, you know. Forgetting. The victim never forgets. Ask an Irishman what the English did to him in 1920 and heâll tell you the day of the month and the time and the name of every man they killed. Ask an Iranian what the English did to him in 1953 and heâll tell you. His child will tell you. His grandchild will tell you. And when he has one, his great-grandchild will tell you too. But ask an Englishmanââ He flung up his hands in mock ignorance. âIf he ever knew, he has forgotten. âMove on!â you tell us. âMove on! Forget what weâve done to you. Tomorrowâs another day!â But it isnât, Mr. Brue.â He still had Brueâs hand. âTomorrow was created yesterday, you see. That is the point I was making to you. And by the day before yesterday, too. To ignore history is to ignore the wolf at the door.â
- A Most Wanted Man, John le Carré
Okay, so we know that Good Omens S2 will be replacing Mr Tennant as Crowley with 5 trained fennec foxes in an overcoat. We also know that Crowley may or may not be set on fire again in S2.
MY question then is: how the heck will you keep the fennec foxes from scattering in all directions when they may or may not be set on fire? Is it training, is it going over-budget with CGI fire, or will there be stunt-fennecs on hand to take over? We must know, good sir, we must!
I can promise that there will be no pyrotechnics anywhere near the fennec foxes. Apart from anything else, there are rules about that sort of thing on set.
Whenever you see Crowley burning, it will be a lovely Scottish actor named David Tennant who will be in for the day in order to be set on fire, struck by lightning, immolated, or otherwise hurled into the blazing heart of an inferno. He seems to quite enjoy it.
Every time I hear people talk about satanic imagery or satanic propaganda I think about that tweet that was like, some people view Satan as a video game villain where he gets stronger the more people worship him
THIS ONE
Texas gave up that land so they could keep slavery:
âWhen Texas sought to enter the Union in 1845 as a slave state, federal law in the United States, based on the Missouri Compromise, prohibited slavery north of 36°30' parallel north. Under the Compromise of 1850, Texas surrendered its lands north of 36°30' latitude.â
Tell me more about how critical race theory shouldnât be taught in school.
I am a grown ass man and I just learned about this 5 minutes ago. Fuck everything about trying to hide the sins of our past.
uk metal bands: The band met in university and bonded over their mutual love of music. They didn't think of starting a band before the gang's weed dealer offered to play bass. Originally Gregory only wanted to write songs about garden gnomes, but the rest of the band told him to shut the fuck up.
US metal bands: The lead singer was born in an apocalyptic christian cult and got excommunicated by 3 different churches as he left. One of his 8 sisters is in prison for first degree murder of her boyfriend over a meth dispute.
Norwegian metal bands: The band met in prison after the head guitarist murdered the bass player of his previous band, and the record company didn't let them use pictures of the murder scene for an album cover. The second bass player escaped the band to start his own apocalyptic christian cult.
Finnish metal bands: The band are childhood friends who were introduced to metal by the drummer's dad. Here are some some pictures of him picking mushrooms with his grandmother :)
Anti war activist Harvey Milk. That Harvey Milk. Cool cool cool cool cool
Fun fact. Harvey milk was dishonorably discharged from the military for being gay. Years after his death, the military sought to make amends and change the status of his discharge, however, Harvey Milkâs family refused. They preferred that Harveyâs dishonorable discharge stay on record indefinitely so no one would forget the militaryâs history of discrimination.
