Untitled

[imanwithoutbowie-deactivated202]

Continue✨ Keep going✨

[tartrazeen]

Thank you, lady 🤗

[kukoyi-deactivated20210512]

The Nigerian accent. God. She reminds me of home...

[everybodywantstorueltheworld-de]

Always grateful when this makes the rounds

[catasters]

[idontgettechnology]

The time of his life.

[systlin]

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

[ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis]

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

[systlin]

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

[systlin]

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

[misscromwellsmonocle]

The Little Art Connoisseur (1863) August Friedrich Siegert

[darnitjack]

Last time this came around I showed my three year old and he said "He's little like me!" and stared for a whole minute (v. Long in toddler time).

[keplercryptids]

I spent the afternoon arranging our books by size and color (and it’s so satisfying and looks amazing) and my partner came home and stared in shock at the bookcase and then said “i’m a librarian, you can’t do this.”

[keplercryptids]

him: you split up all the song of ice and fire books

me: yeah i know, they’re all primary colors, it’s perfect

him: [self-destructs]

[operativesurprise]

You’re a monster

[thetumblrofrassilon]

As a former bookstore employee, this hurts my soul. I mean, sure it looks nice, but how do you find anything?

[keplercryptids]

it has occurred me during this process that apparently not everyone thinks about books by what color they are? like, literally when i’m looking for a book, i picture it in my mind. i have a very…tactile experience with the books i read and idk! i thought everyone did that lol.

my partner was like “how will i find [this book] for instance” and i replied “easy, it’s purple” and he looked at me like i was a witch.

[holdmecloseandfast]

OP your brain is neat and I love you for it you funky little color-coded cupcake. But you’re still a monster.

[valtsv]

hero: IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO???

villain: *choking back tears* uh, yeah, i'm actually trying really hard here man

hero: *now looking uncomfortable* oh

[dreamterlude]

hero: hey man its okay that was good you uh you did good back there

villain: i did good??

hero: i mean- bad!! you did bad!!

[crack--attack]

villain: I did BAD?!?!

[official-lucifers-child]

hero: i mean... you did good at being bad!

villain: oh... thank you?

hero: *awkwardness intensifies* no problem...

[fagsystem]

villain, tearing up again: no one has ever told me I'm good at anything!

hero: where are your parents I just want to talk

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

All the best hero - villain dynamics just lead right back to these two

[escuerzoresucitado]

Pedestrian traffic lights

[power-chords]

This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.

[andhumanslovedstories]

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

[andhumanslovedstories]

Cutting something out of your life because you think you don’t need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let’s say public health and the social safety net and vaccines

[thomrainierskies]

I had a liver transplant when I was 14 and like six months later I was chatting with my surgeon and he said “there’s gonna come a time, probably when you’re a teenager, where you’re gonna think, ‘I feel great, why am I still taking all this medication? I haven’t needed it in years.’ and you’re gonna want to stop taking all this medication. Guess what’s gonna happen then? You’re gonna go into rejection and your liver is gonna start failing, and you’re gonna be dying again, and we’re gonna have to find you another liver. So don’t do that.” And I said “why the fuck would anyone do that?” and he said “people are stupid.”

every once in a while when I get annoyed by a pharmacy or don’t wanna get out of bed to do my drugs I think “ugh, this is dumb, why do I do this?” and that conversation slams into me like a truck and I remember that I am, in fact, stupid

[zenosanalytic]

#you are not immune to the recency bias(via@arrows-for-pens)

[morethanonebraincell]

Every person on earth needs to read this post. It will make people’s lives a lot better and lessen the crises everyone faces in day-to-day lives.

[ziggy-scardust]

I reblog this every time I see it because I am not immune to the recency bias

[glowwormcentral-deactivated2021]

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

[hellenhighwater]

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

[toontwink]

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

oh hello you’ve returned to us

[hellenhighwater]

Hi. I’m a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.

[darkseid-deactivated20190806]

so some local comic book shop accidentally had a shitload of anime girl…. tapestries (I guess?) printed and was desperate to get rid of them so now the cat shelter we go to uses them as cat blankets and it leads to many a funny sight

[camblogarchive]

nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

[camblogarchive]

“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”

[camblogarchive]

“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”

[toxicglooo]

please watch the round planet on netflix it’s exactly like that 

[caspianloveslesmis]

also sometimes i remember that “just hold me, please” is an actual canon line said by the most emotionally stunted man on the planet. like i forget it’s not from a fanfic or something. he actually said that. that was arthur pendragon’s dying wish. get fucked, bbc merlin writers. and thank you.

[draizetrain]

i think when u clean your house it should stay clean forever. what do u mean i have to do it again

[were--ralph]

Mitch McConnell will die two weeks from today (8/31/23)

[were--ralph]

there is no need to charge or cast i just be Knowing

[were--ralph]

Like i said dont ever fucking doubt me again

[were--ralph]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[beleester]

>#I love how this gag would be funny at any point since the third century BCE

[snakeplantz]

Merlin BBC Merlin they could never make me form a solid opinion about you !!! World’s bravest coward. The most loyal traitor. The most honest liar. The gentlest murderer. Destroys everything trying to avoid destruction. What a guy !!!!!!!