y’know for me it straight up doesn’t even occur to me to unfollow someone when they stop posting whatever it is i followed them for. unless the thing they’re posting about now is somehow actually actively upsetting to me i just accept it as a part of my life now. i’ll just scroll past it like i’m driving a car and dodging an obstacle on the road. and that part of the road is my daily commute and the thing stays on the road forever and i swerve around it every day for months instead of ever taking the initiative to get it removed. it just adds flavor i guess
The thing about Tony is that kindness toward him is a foreign concept. And I'm fluent in those.
--
"And what is the most surprising thing you've learned about dating Tony Stark?" Christine asks, and Tony can see the way she's seething behind her smile because Steve has expertly twisted out of every trap she's laid.
He hopes she doesn't think that he had the time to teach Steve any of this--Steve was doing interviews and selling war bonds before even he was a glint in Howard's eye, never mind Christine in her father's, and Steve has complained at length about how the media hasn't changed at all in the privacy of the tower. Between his "aw shucks" persona and his steel resolve, she hasn't been able to poke at any vulnerabilities he might have. Tony is actually sort of impressed. If he didn't know Steve squeaked when his feet were tickled, he'd think the man was made of stone.
"Oh," Steve says, shrugging, and leans back on the couch so he can throw his arm over Tony's shoulders. "Just that he hates surprises."
Tony blinks. Christine raises an eyebrow and opens her mouth, but Tony ignores her, turning to look up at Steve in confusion. "I love surprises though?"
"No, you don't," Steve answers flatly, slanting his gaze toward him. "They make you anxious. I was planning a night out on the town for our anniversary, and you noticed a change in how everyone was acting because they were helping to keep it a secret, and you panicked and thought we were all Skrulls."
Tony blinks again, brows furrowing together in confusion. "But I love when you bring me coffee and donuts when I'm not expecting them. Or! Sometimes you bring me souvenirs when you go on away missions without me!"
Steve sighs, that kind of 'I'd rather not do this here but you'll catastrophize if I don't set you straight now' sound he's developed specifically for Tony, and dutifully answers, "Tony, that's just me being a thoughtful and caring boyfriend who is showing that I think about you even when we're not near each other. I would be a bad boyfriend if I didn't do that. You do that kind of stuff for me all the time. It shouldn't be a surprise."
Tony stares at him for a long moment, then remembers exactly where they are--on a couch being interrogated interviewed by Christine Everhart. He darts his gaze back to her, feeling terrified for reasons he can't explain.
She's staring at him as if she's never seen him before. It terrifies him. He wishes Steve would have let him catastrophize just this once.
"Anyway," Steve says after a moment, slapping his hands against his knees and standing up. "The DOD will get back to you about what parts of the interview you're allowed to air."
Christine jerks her gaze to him, aghast. "What?!"
"I'm an icon of the United States military. They get final say about what airs with me in it," Steve answers, turning to help Tony to his feet. "It's in that contract you had to sign to be able to interview me. Well, bye."
"Bye," Tony adds belatedly as Steve casually directs him toward the door. He looks up at Steve once they're out of earshot, frowning. "But I am surprised when you do those things for me. I was surprised when Pepper did them, too."
"That's because we're the only truly good partners you've had, sweetheart," Steve sighs, shaking his head, and then, "I'll let you think on that for a few minutes on the drive home."
"I feel patronized," Tony declares, but then Steve gives him a pitying look, and he has to wonder if Steve might be right.
I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.
i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it
but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”
as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”
there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”
the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”
one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.”
we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”
I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.
Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.
Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.
I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”
i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.
I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.
In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”
My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.
my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area
a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”
Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.
The other day they had me working with softserve and fried dough. I was burned out because I kept bouncing back and forth between the fryer and my register and these people had like, 8 things in their order. We get to the ice cream part of the order, and it comes in a bowl or cone. Instead of saying “Would you like the vanilla in a bowl or cone?” I said “Would you like the bowl in a vanilla or cone?” And we all stopped and had to think that through as my cart runner is staring me down like “tf are you doing?”
i work with dogs, and i have to be a bit strict with them sometimes in order to keep fights from breaking out. recently, while making tea, the kettle started boiling sooner than i wanted, so without thinking i turned around sharply, pointed my finger at it and stared it down, and said, “Bad boy! You need to wait!” needless to say i was very glad i was alone
I work with horses and whenever someone’s driving too fast I’ll say stuff like “whoa” and I’ve tried to click to a car because that’s a cue for a horse to go faster.
every time i go to order food at a counter my brain always wants to answer with my customer service phone greeting, I just open my mouth and it comes out
and lemme tell you there is nothing like being in a mcdonald’s and responding to “can i take your order?” with “AUTO GLASS, THIS IS JESSICA”
For 6 years after I stopped working at a theater I would tack on, “can I start you off with a large popcorn?” every time I said hi. These things go deep 🤣
I work in housekeeping at an old folks home and am supposed to know and announce “housekeeping!” before entering a room. Sometimes this kicks in when trying to enter rooms outside of work and I’ll confuse the hell out of friends or family in the bathroom
(Toasterverse, Steve/Tony, with some aggressive flirting. All of these can be found under the tag Sci's Fictober)
“How’s the drawing going?”
Steve looked up from his sketchpad, surprised at the interruption. The barista was a short girl with a round face and a sweet smile. There were little ghost shaped rhinestones stuck on the frames of her black glasses, and she was wearing a ‘Witching Hour’ shirt under the cafe apron.
He glanced back down at his drawing. “Not my best work,” he said, giving her a lopsided smile. “BUt sometimes it’s the effort, not the result.”
“I hear that.” She picked up his empty cappuccino cup, slipping a fresh one onto the table in its place.
Steve blinked. “Oh, I didn’t-”
She straightened up. “I know.” Her eyes tipped back over her shoulder, but her smile never faltered. “Guy at the pickup station wanted to buy you a drink.”
Steve looked around her, not surprised to see Tony hovering at the end of the counter, his attention on his phone. The afternoon light filtered through the coffee shop’s windows, catching on the sharp angle of his cheek and the line of his jaw, on the long sweep of dark lashes and the tumble of his hair. He was dressed in a three piece suit, holding the jacket casually over his shoulder in one hand, his hip cocked, the vest accenting the trim turn of his waist and the straight line of his back.
Steve leaned back in his chair. “That guy?”
“Yep.” Her nose wrinkled in sympathy. “Seems okay, but you didn’t seem to want company, so I told him I’d bring it over.” She leaned over, straightening the magazines on the table. “So if you want me to tell him you’ve got a significant other of some kind, I totally will.”
Steve looked over, in time to catch Tony’s eye as he glanced up from his phone, a slight, sly smile on his face. Steve arched an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, I do,” he told the barista with an easy smile. “And it’s that idiot.” He reached for the cappuccino cup. “But he’s clearly doing a bit, so feel free to tell him I seem interested.”
“Oh.” Her eyebrows shot up. “Oh!” Behind the cover of her body, she gave him a quick thumbs up. “He do this often?”
“Often enough that I’m used to it, not so often that it’s a problem,” Steve said, taking another sip of the cappuccino. It was perfectly made, and he let his eyes shut for a second, savoring the rich, sweet flavor. “But since you were clearly concerned, and thank you for that, by the way.”
“You look like you can take care of yourself, but we have a strict no harassment policy here,” she said. “Sometimes it’s better to be a buffer.”
“Appreciated, but there is a 99% chance I’m going to leave with him,” Steve admitted.
She laughed. “That still leaves a chance you won’t?”
Steve leaned his cheek on one hand. “I’m going to make him work for it,” he admitted. “Because if he doesn’t put some effort into his flirting, he’s going to lose the knack, and that would be quite a shame.”
The barista turned back to the counter. “I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
“Probably not, but like I said.” Steve grinned as he reached for his sketchbook. “Some days, it’s the effort that counts.”
“Roger that. Brace yourself, I’ll give him the green light.”
“I appreciate it.” Steve picked up his pencil, and flipped to a new page of his sketchbook. He let the tip flow across the paper, slow and smooth. Wasting time. Wasting supplies. Letting the pencil wander, letting the movement flow through his fingers, his wrist, his elbow, his shoulder.
Drawing nothing in particular, because the act of drawing was all he needed.
“Hi.”
He didn’t look up. “Hi.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw Tony step alongside him, his body tipping forward, looking over Steve’s shoulder at his sketchbook. “What’re you drawing?”
“Still trying to decide that,” Steve said. He kept his head down, but his eyes tilted up towards Tony, who was holding an espresso cup on a saucer. “Thanks for the drink.”
Tony smiled, that slow, easy smile that only came out when he was really happy. “I saw your cup was empty.” He gestured at the plush chair on the other side of the table. “May I join you?”
“It’s a free country,” Steve said, struggling to keep a straight face.
Tony dropped his jacket on the back of the chair and took a seat, crossing his legs. “Looking for a model?”
Steve had no idea how he pulled off lines like that. If Steve had tried saying anything even close to that out loud, he would probably have died of embarrassment before the words were fully out of his mouth. He shook his head with a smile. “Always looking for a particularly interesting bowl of fruit, if you’ve got one handy.”
“Can’t help you with that, but if you come back to my place, I’ll show you my etchings.”
Steve choked on a laugh. “Do you even know what an etching is?”
Tony smiled at him, confident and relaxed as he took a sip of his espresso. “No, but I know it’s got something to do with art, and if I distract you with dinner, I can have a few delivered before we’re done with dessert.”
“I took the coffee because it was polite, I think dinner’s asking for a lot,” Steve said, raising one knee to brace his sketchbook out of Tony’s line of sight. “You’re assuming I don’t have plans.”
Tony leaned to the side, eyes glinting with warmth. “I think what I’m offering is better than any plans you might have.”
Steve’s pencil stilled on the page. “There’s confidence, and there’s ego. You’re right on the line.”
“I’m going to be stepping over that pretty often,” Tony admitted, his lips lingering on the rim of his cup. “But I’m also incredibly flexible.” He lingered over the word, soft and coaxing, rich with meaning. “If you’re busy tonight, I’ll take a raincheck.”
Steve shifted in his chair, feeling his face heat. “I’m getting the feeling you’ll take a lot more than that.”
“Don’t worry, I give as good as I get,” Tony said, and if Steve had any sense, he’d toss his sketchpad and his drink and walk out before he made an idiot of himself.
Of course, it was probably far too late for that.
“You always this forward with a fella you just met?”
“Only the gorgeous ones,” Tony said, without missing a beat. He looked towards the window behind Steve, his expression unreadable “I saw you from outside, from the sidewalk.”
“I didn’t see you.”
His lips parted on a silent sigh. “You were focusing so hard on what you were doing, I doubt you would’ve noticed me if I’d pounded on the window.” He looked back at Steve, his eyes hooded. “And I found myself wanting to get your attention somehow.”
Steve shoved a hand through his hair, and Tony’s eyes tracked the movement. “So you decided to go with a drink, rather than knocking on the window?”
“It seemed more socially acceptable,” Tony said. He turned the espresso cup in his hand, and Steve watched his fingers flex against the china, his heart pounding in his ears. “But I’m not adverse to making a spectacle of myself.”
“I can tell,” Steve said, and his voice sounded rough. “So what, you saw me, thought I was cute, thought you’d shoot your shot?” He was holding onto his pencil a little too tight, and he made an effort to relax his grip. “Is that all?”
“You draw as if your life depends on it,” Tony said, his voice barely above a whisper. “As if nothing else exists, but you, and that book and your pencil. You draw as there is nothing else in the world but what you could create, as if this is the only thing you want to do, the only thing you could ever want to do, like it is as natural as breathing and the worst fight you’ve ever had in your life.
“I stood on the sidewalk and watched you draw and wondered what I’d have to do to get you to look at me.”
Tony smiled. “And now that you are, it’s so much better than I could’ve imagined.”
Steve took a deep breath. “Okay.” He stood up.
Tony didn’t move. “Okay?”
“Yeah, that-” Steve pointed at him. “That’s gonna work, and you damn well know it, let’s go.”
Tony grinned. “I haven’t finished my-”
Steve took the cup our of his hands, and downed the rest of the espresso with a single gulp. He regretted it immediately. “Jesus,” he managed, his throat closing up. “All the things you can drink, and you just pick ‘suffering’ from the menu?”
“You’ve had worse,” Tony said, laughing.
“You paying eight bucks to drink worse than I got for free from the US military in an active war zone makes me question your sanity,” Steve said, and Tony was doubled over laughing now. Steve grinned down at him. “C’mon, you flirt, put your money where your mouth is.”
“I mean, my mouth is going to go where ever you want it to go,” Tony said. “And you’ve got free reign on the money, too, but damned if I can get you to take me up on it.”
He stood, and Steve was already there, right in front of him, in his personal space, and he saw Tony’s eyes widen in surprise before he leaned in, kissing him hard.
He felt Tony smile against his mouth, felt Tony’s fingers catch on his sweater, holding on tight. “Dinner,” Tony whispered.
“After all this, you’re putting out first, we can call for take out afterwards,” Steve told him, and Tony was laughing against his neck, against his shoulder. Steve grinned against his head. “You think I’m kidding?”
“I’m really hoping you’re not. Let’s go. We can pick out some etchings.”
Actually while I'm thinking about it, I just wanna say that the more live-action remakes Disney shlups out like shoveled manure, the more amazed I am that Cinderella (2015) exists. It breaks literally every standard of Disney's LA remakes.
It's not a shot-for-shot remake of the original 1950 animated film, though it does include small references and homages to it, but only when such things can be incorporated organically into the story.
The creators understood and respected the cross-cultural significance of the Cinderella story. They didn't want to "fix" it, or add some wacky twist to it, they just wanted to make the best possible version of the Quintessential Cinderella that they could.
Everything that could be done practically was done practically. The carriage was a real, the horses pulling it were real, and all of the other animals (with the exception of the mice and lizards, since their performance was a lot more involved than the others') were real living animals, the lizard footman and goose carriage driver were wearing prosthetics instead of just having their animal features added in post, the Fairy Godmother's dress had little LED lights sewn into it so that it would actually glow for real, the ballroom set was built by hand and included real chandeliers with more than 2000 total candles that were all actually lit for the scene, and I could go on but you get the point.
There's a ton of attention paid to little details that make the world feel real and lived in. Ella's shoes are always a little scuffed and dirty. Her farm dress is faded and wrinkled. When she breaks down and runs away to the woods, she rides her horse bareback (which, once again, was a thing Lily James actually did, no stunt-double or editing in post), because not only is that something a country girl like her would know how to do, but it also makes sense that with as upset as she is, she wouldn't want to waste time with saddling the horse. When she's dancing with the prince, it's visually obvious that he is leading her and giving her cues because of course Ella wouldn't know the latest ballroom dances, and would need him to guide her through it.
Hey speaking of dancing, y'know what else this movie does that no other LA remake has been allowed to do (at least not to this extent)? ROMANCE. Land sakes alive, this is one of the most unabashedly and yet still tastefully romantic movies I've ever seen. Ella and Kit are just oozing romantic chemistry from the moment they lock eyes for the first time. It all comes down to the fact that these two characters both have the same core values of courage and kindness, which makes their admiration for each other feel grounded and believable. Richard Madden also really sells Kit's feelings for Ella with the way his eyes go all big and soft whenever he looks at her. And don't even get me started on Lily's performance as Ella. Her quiet awe that someone as powerful as the prince loves her. The timidity and fear that she's not really worthy of that. The selfless determination to protect him from her family's cruelty, even if it means she'll never see him again, I'm just-- *banging my fist against the table and screaming into a pillow*
Absolutely god-tier costume design. No notes, I think Sandy Powell's work speaks for itself. Btw, in case you were somehow still wondering, yes, Ella's ballgown is fully practical--those layers upon layers of dreamy silk skirts are real. CG was only used to brighten up the blue color to make her stand out from the crowd more.
Wicked stepmother was allowed to actually be wicked. The movie never tries to make you sympathize with Lady Tremaine, or shift the blame off to someone else. And her villainy is given an extra layer of depth with the reveal that she is a dark reflection of Ella. They've both lost people they loved, but where Ella refused to let her grief get in the way of kindness, Lady Tremaine became utterly consumed by it. She views the death of her first husband as a sort of twisted justification for pursuing all her worst impulses. She despises Ella for her ability to flourish even while enduring terrible suffering, for being everything Lady Tremaine was either unable or flat-out refused to be.
Also Cate Blanchet absolutely SLAYS in this role. Hands-down my favorite portrayal of the wicked stepmother character.
Anyways, TLDR: Cinderella (2015) is the only Disney live-action remake that can justify its own existence and that's because it actively defies everything the LA remakes are today.
basically things everyone accepted as canon and it’s kinda funny that we all went “yeah sure”
• Peter being their kid. I understand after homecoming/civil war came out but it’s been a thing since Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man.
• Steve looking up at the ceiling when he talks to Jarvis. We’ve never seen him do this, how did we all just decided that’s what happens.
• Steve sketches in Tony’s workshop because, parallel play.
• Also Steve sketching/making art in general. This is very present in stony fics but we only see him draw twice and one was a deleted scene (from my memory). But also I really like this human part of Steve apart from the past that he’s this big hulking figure and a soldier but he likes to draw the avengers.
• Steve being the Dodgers number one fan. Again this makes sense, he recognized a game he was at by listening to ten seconds of the announcers on the radio.
• Does Peter even have asthma? Why did we all agree he has spider powers but also still uses an inhaler?
• Steve being a freak in bed or a blushing virgin. No in between
• Steve is nice to the bots and tells Tony not to be so mean to them.
• Tony can lock down the lab and not let anyone in?? Again, makes total sense that he could do this but we’ve never seen him do it but it’s in every other fic. /pos but confused
• Steve really wants to punch Howard
• Italian Tony? Steve is canonically Irish, his parents were immigrants, but Tony being half Italian seems like an amalgamation of many things.
• Steve wakes up at the crack of dawn to go on a run, Tony wakes up at noon (but this is okay because he was up late working obvi)
• “His dog tags clinked against the arc reactor” WE’VE NEVER SEEN HIM WEAR DOG TAGS AFTER THE ICE 😭😭😭😭😭 (we have seen Bucky wear them tho)
• STEVE’S REFRACTORY PERIOD BEING NON EXISTENT?? WHY TF WOULD THE SERUM DO THAT? IS THAT CONSIDERED ENHANCED HEALING????
• Also Steve can’t catch or give anything so we fuckin raw
There’s more but that’s all I can think of rn. See you next time!
Hey I just want to let all the fanfiction writers know that based on the setup of our hospital, from the ICU room window we could see into the windows of the rehabilitation rooms across the street and if we had wanted to wave at someone or make a message on a big piece of paper we could have.
A students AU I drew for the Cap-IM mini reverse bang you can get more details or participate at @capim-tinybang ! You can write using this as a prompt and there are plenty of other prompts too <3
(also pls tag me if you do bc I def drew this self-indulgently)
Hope you zoom in for all the lil easter eggs! Please enjoy~