ShouldaBeenTwins

We have the same brain. We were just born two years apart, that's all.

[chronicallyhomoerotic]

this is a poem. To me.

[byjove]

Heterosexual relationship culture is so alien to me and I don’t know if it’s the fact I’m not cishet or the fact I’m autistic but I hear so many things that make me go “Am I insane or are they?”

There’s a lot of hate on widowers and I saw a woman say “You cannot compete with a dead woman.” which is perhaps a reasonable statement to say if he’s constantly comparing you to his dead partner but that wasn’t what the post was about. And I realized “Oh my God, these people genuinely feel like they’re constantly in competition with their spouse’s exes and the ex being dead makes them feel insecure that they cannot best her.”

There’s also been an uptick in the ‘men and women cannot be ‘just’ friends’ rhetoric which I feel like is extremely dangerous and reflects the rise of fascism and sexism. Some of these stories of women feeling threatened by their husband’s female best friend have some merit and others are like “I feel angry that my husband still talks to the girl he grew up next door to and she and her wife are invited to family gatherings and included in family photos sometimes. Am I right to be suspicious?” No. No you’re not. I cannot imagine being you and living with that high level of stress and paranoia and constant torment and jealousy about your husband having a positive relationship with anyone who isn’t you.

[covington-shenanigans]

okay look i know this isn't relevant to this post past the second paragraph but. here's the thing. the facts of the case are as follows:

1) I am widowed. my Beloved Wife of Blessed Memory(tm) died in 2019

2) I got together with my current partner about 18 months later

3) when I am committing acts of Foolishness my current partner loves to gesture at the sky to my dead wife, like "do you see this shit, my liege" and regularly says to me things like "[wife's name] was right about this" when my Foolishness inevitably comes back to bite me in the ass

4) this happens. all the time

more importantly:

5) my current partner is on tumblr

6) they love to incessantly send me posts

WHICH MEANS:

7) they just sent me this post with this commentary:

8) they really, really are ganging up on me with her. god help us if there's an afterlife and those two ever actually meet. "eternal rest" my ass, i will never know peace again

[whisperedsighss]

[skelotan]

Dedicated to my cat, who is very vocal about my bed time.

PATREON

[beeellzeebub]

[anxeious]

[opera-ghost]

[nerdicornthetrekkie]

[gamechangershow]

Sorry but it's not complete without...

[quasi-normalcy]

I don't remember finding fart jokes particularly funny even when I was a child.

[quasi-normalcy]

Five year old me, watching a movie with fart jokes: "Oh, how gauche. They're pandering to the lowest common denominator."

[padawanduck]

everyone: can that terrible old fuck senator just die already

Sen. Lindsey Graham dies at 71 after ‘brief and sudden illness’

Graham had just returned from Kyiv, Ukraine, where he met with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy.

everyone: I guess we should have been more specific

everyone: well, anyway

[theskydoesgreatthingsnow]

🪩 🎶 🦀 🦀 🦀 🎶 🪩

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[drtanner]

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

[readlenin]

[deadpowol]

[tahthetrickster]

[wetorturedsomefolks]

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

[frankendykes-monster]

[sunflowerbutch]

🥚

crack egg directly into hot pan, scramble while cooking

crack egg directly into cold pan, stir/scramble, then cook

crack egg into bowl, whisk or stir, THEN pour into pan and cook

other

results

Voting ended onMar 31, 2024

[coughloop]

[leopardmask-ao3]

Or you use a plastic/silicon spatula?? Or a silicon whisk?? go to literally any dollar store they have shitty plastic/silicon kitchen utensils you can scramble eggs with without scratching up your pans

[great-and-small]

Now that’s what I call

[great-and-small]

@rpepperpotshipssciencebros please forgive me for this one

[son-of-drogo]

I hate this site so much.