Just Coming Through @siriusly-orion - Tumblr Blog

Except you don't need to stick your faces together/use tongue for a kiss to be "good".

These are two middle-aged men who probably haven't had any experience kissing someone they love, so they're obviously gonna be a bit out of practice.

I know that it was passionate and sweet, and they deserve that.

transfemininomenon

is this post real. can other people see this. this feels like a fever dream made reality

umbraria

Kitty Grimmjow

chaosblasphemy

TINY SHADOW CHRONICLES: 1- FIRST TELEPORT

While we play the waiting game for Sonic 3, I decided to start a mini comic series for Shadow pre-incident, so we can have a little something positive for the poor guy ♡

DO NOT REPOST!!

2- Glowsticks ○ 3- Action Hero ○ 4- Warmth

foldingfittedsheets

I can’t state enough how beneficial it was to work at the sex shop as my first retail job. We were encouraged to practice shutting down inappropriate behavior and it became a well practiced skill set. I had a flat stare, icy tones of disapproval, and a demeanor of untouchable scorn to back it all up. I could get the most hardened of perverts to back off or leave in a matter of sentences if they harassed staff or other customers.

When I moved on to selling mattresses I came prepared to handle pretty much any situation with the unruffled calm of someone who has asked Santa to stop touching himself and leave. To my vast surprise it was a skill I needed on the regular at the mattress store. For whatever reason men thought it was the height of entertainment to sexually harass me because I was young and cheerful.

They would always quickly learn they’d picked the wrong target.

One day a man strolled in, sizing me up as he came. He saw a young, tiny, afab person alone in the store and came to a stop way too close. He used his height to leer down at me and said, “I’m looking for a new headboard. Which ones are the best for sex?”

It was so stupid. He looked down at me with half lidded eyes and the grin of a man who owns an unmarked white van. He probably expected me to laugh uncomfortably or act flustered. He wanted to feel tall and powerful or maybe even sexy.

He was not expecting what he got. My face stretched into what could technically be described as a smile but was more accurately a threat display. The temperature in the room plummeted as I dropped all warmth in my demeanor. He took a half step back, suddenly aware that he was alone in a room with me.

“Well, sir, that depends on what kind of sex you’re having. If you are looking for a headboard that is grippeable, I suggest this model. The metal is rounded and wouldn’t hurt a hand gripping it tightly. However if you want something that you can secure with restraints, I recommend this wooden one as the slats are wide and quite sturdy.”

He looked liked I’d hit him over the head with a board and stared down at me blankly, taken aback by the authoritative way that I discussed the merits of his lackluster sex life. I met his eyes, a veiled threat in mine, and said, “Which one will you be purchasing?”

He tucked his tail between his legs and bought the metal one. I pulled up a thin layer of friendliness as I rang him up but he had the chastened air of a man who just ran straight into an iron pole.

Another time a man crawled up onto a tempurpedic and thrusted into an invisible partner. He gave a cocky look over his shoulder, sure that he was going to discomfit me as he asked, “How are these babies for fucking?”

I gave him a deadpan look and and said, “That depends on if you’re someone who has to rely on the bounce of springs for your thrusts. Memory foam beds are nicer on knees and joints for positions like doggy style but they absorb a lot of kinetic energy.”

He visibly deflated and got down off the bed with a vaguely ashamed air.

He bought a spring mattress.

gpedia

pankhearst

the muppets, 1x01: “Pig Girls Don’t Cry.”

graphitetroll

Why did they make me watch Fozzy Bear experience a micro aggression

brunhiddensmusings

his dating life was a lot of upward struggle

kitsnicket

orteil42

uhhhh reverse Delicious in Dungeon. Disgusting in Restaurant. nothing's edible

totally-a-wizard

everwalldigan-deactivated202602

Thinking about that series on TikTok where canon batfamily characters meet their fanon counterparts and I think all canon characters would have a sort of disdain to borderline hate for their fanon versions EXCEPT BRUCE. Canon Bruce would be seething with jealousy

Canon Bruce: so you’re saying… most of them live with you. In Wayne manor. And it’s not burned down every week.

Fanon Bruce: yup! All of them except Jason, he and I don’t get along very well you see… he’s always angry with me so the weekly family dinners are always tense ://

Canon Bruce, through gritted teeth: you see him regularly? Must be nice.

Fanon Bruce: it is! The kids can get a bit rambunctious at times but thankfully their older brother Dick is always there being the good responsible mentally stable older brother he is so there’s not much damage except the broken vase or two

Canon Bruce, glaring daggers: is that so.

Fanon Bruce: there’s also Tim, he can’t get enough of his coffee, sometimes I have to replace it with decaf just to get him to sleep!

Canon Bruce, who has found Tim napping in places he didn’t think was humanely possible to sleep in: hnn

redbuddi

We need less power-couples and more fail-couples. A pair that individually are disasters but together make everything even worse. Not in a toxic sense, they are just both so lacking in common sense that being together creates a shenanigans feedback-loop. They will become everyone's problem.

wheeloffortune-design

In time travel movies, when the time traveler asks 'What year is this?!?' they're always treated like they're being weird for asking.

When in reality, if you go 'What year is this?!?' people will just say '2024. Crazy huh.' and you go 'Wtf where has my youth gone.'

And if you ask 'And what month??' people won't judge you, they'll just go like 'SEPTEMBER!!! Can you believe it?!?!' and you go 'WHAT?!? Last time I checked we were in May?!?'

marlynnofmany

That is a great point. Especially if you time travel to a period of Big Historical Events, when everybody's looking a little wild about the eyes.

"Hey, what month is it?"

"January already, can you believe it? I swear I was just at Pompeii, but no one's going there again."

aphony-cree

In the same vein:

Stumbling into a diner and asking "What town is this" isn't weird, the workers will think you're on a road trip

If you ask them "Where's the nearest Nano Deck?" they'll assume it's a shop they've never heard of and say "Sorry, I don't know where any of those are"

Going into a store and telling a cashier "I need pods for my comm device" will just get you a "Never heard of those, maybe try Radio Shack?"

I think the problem is that people who create sci-fi movies have never had to work customer service jobs

only-cat-memes

theinfiknight

everyalphonseelric

lonelyroommp3

some time last year in a daze i signed up to be a community notes contributor on twitter, and i have not used this ability once in any meaningful sense, but i do appreciate that it sometimes provides me with exclusive advance previews of muppet discourse

neo-pussy-deactivated20250705

Hello skinny tgirl. Lately you've been complaining that your tits aren't growing. In front of you is a plate of food.

verloonati-deactivated20260305

traaansfem

Unironically my tits grow faster for a few days every time I eat salmon

I should probably cook more salmon

neo-pussy-deactivated20250705

Well yes salmon does have some fat in it! And it is good! Try and eat it with some carbs, like potatoes, or maybe blinis. Why not add some vegetables as well? Steamed brocolis, grilled leaks, roasted eggplant, and maybe some cream? That sounds delicious.