🖕💦🧠

icon of me commissioned from @slutdragonandboogersugar

[sloppyplanetary]

uhh intro pinned post shit

Rickorty main with a big side helping of zadr and maxvid and whatever other random shit I want

sometimes i reblog nsft shit, follow at yr own risk

Find me on ao3, same username

just so we're clear-

rick/morty forever, a hundred years rickorty, 70 seasons a million episodes c-137cest,

also into sally face, animals, wwdits tv show, atla, science shit, writing and traditional art, horror movies, American horror story, the blacklist, sherlock, shameless, bo burnham

I'm more radical than you are btw. Suck my dick

tags: rick.txt for textposts, rick.com for about me, fandoms r tagged, funny shit is tagged shitposts, my rickorty review series is tagged rick.rev, rick.ask for asks, nsft (and now nsfa) is for my 18+ posts, rick.hc for my headcanons, rick.fic for my fics

to clear up any confusion, yes i am an actual rick sanchez in this dumb multiverse. yes i am not an actual rick sanchez im my own person. yes im just a kinnie. yes i just named myself after him a month after i popped into existence. yes im a fictive. yes i fucked yr mom last night. hope that helps lmao

character tags: miami morty "bubblegum bitch shortie", merlin bbc "switch twink warlock", evil morty "piss boy eyepatch boy", toxic rick/morty "slimy gilf", five hargreeves "feral old man", will Graham "dumbass sweaty fbi man"

[djpachipikachu]

rocky being a fucking freak is my favorite headcanon This is who was first contact with aliens. doomed all eridians really

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[umbrihearts]

Game Over

[sunflower39]

[crowboy-bebop]

unauthorized fucking thing!!!!!!

(warning: loud chirping throughout)

source: hellgate osprey cam

[curlicuecal]

[l0s3r-g0r3-d3s7r0y4]

What if silence is in fact a sound, but because its a universal sound we just adapted to it and dont notice it anymore

[friends-of-magic]

I actually just wrote a paper on this!!

The short of it is, yes, that's exactly what happens. There's no such thing as pure silence outside of a vacuum (and inside a vacuum you'd be dead). So basically your ears are constantly adapting to the noise threshold of your surroundings and slowly ignoring it. If you were in a perfectly silent room (anechoic chambers are cool!) you would actually start to hear the sound of existing!

[aquilacalvitium]

[darkarfs]

Isn't there some room full of sound baffling foam or something that absorbs all ambient noise and most people go mad from the isolation because they start to hear things like their own circulatory system and their heartbeat pounding in their ears?

Ah, there it is. Orfield Labratories in Minnesota. They say the longest anyone's been able to stay inside was 45 minutes, as they could hear their lungs expanding and their digestive system working overtime.

[skarchomp]

telling a girl with huge tits not to worry cuz i have protection and pulling out some lactaid pills

[sunbentshadows]

oh dear god

[sunbentshadows]

I am speed running the stages of grief. Come explore this with me.

[sunbentshadows]

I WONDER WHY HEALTHCARE DATA IS SO LIMITED. HEY HAS ANYONE EVER THOUGHT ABOUT WHY WE DON'T HAVE COMPLETELY OPEN PLATFORMS FOR HEALTH DATA. AND WHY IT'S A BAD IDEA TO HAVE WRITE PRIVILEGES VIA SOME WEB INTERFACE TO MEDICAL RECORDS. HAS ANYONE EVER WONDERED.

[sunbentshadows]

okay well let's look at the github. at least an mcp server is just like a stupider API. right.

STARTING OFF. BAD.

This is. a PHI nightmare.

[sunbentshadows]

do you think these tech guys ever think. "i wonder why nobody has done this."

[sunbentshadows]

Well if they had to pick an AI at least they're not using one of the sketchy ones right. thank goodn

oh

[sunbentshadows]

You know, I'm glad Epic put so much time into making mychart extremely secure, even with all the health systems who configure them like a drunk monkey. it would be a shame if

hmm hey what do we think 'read local passwords' does

[sunbentshadows]

feed healthcare data to openclaw openclaw safe for 2FA codes and passwords in plaintext nothing bad will happen to your passwords and 2FA ccodes if you feed them to openclaww

[sunbentshadows]

ooohghhg my fucking ggogod

FROM DISCORD??? FROM MM DISCORD? YOU WANT TO FEED YOUR OWN PERSONAL HONEST TO FUCK PHI INTO, POTENTIALLY, DISCORD??

[sunbentshadows]

What many users may not know about MyChart providedby EpicSystems is that MyChart providedby EpicSystems is actually kind of like a local instance that your healthcare org runs, not a "Sign in once and see everything" type of deal (unless you have Care Everywhere, and then it maybe can be. But it Depends.)

Why is that you might ask. Well you see. There are many Rules and Laws and Regulations about the use and exchange of personal healthcare data.

Which is why of course this guy, seeing a well-thought-out and tested technical position, decided "what if i get all of them at once and also the 2FA codes and stored them ALL in the same place with no encryption whatsoever"

[sunbentshadows]

MRN??????????? YOUR PERSONAL HIGHLY PROTECTED BASICALLY ILLEGAL TO SHARE MEDICAL RECORDS NUMBER?

[sunbentshadows]

????????????????????????

[sunbentshadows]

This is genuinely the most terrifying import i have ever seen

[sunbentshadows]

I LIED; WHAT

[sunbentshadows]

GIVE OPENCLAW ACCESS TO YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING EMAIL AND MEDICAL RECORDS NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN IF YOU FEED YOUR ENTIRE BROWSER CACHE NAD PASSWORD KEY STORE INTO OPE NCLAW

[sunbentshadows]

okay. i'm done. i can't. i cannot continue to look at this. this is out of this world.

how do we think this project ends

sued

straight to jail

openclaw sending messages to your forme college professors with random diagnoses

hipaa police

Voting ended onMar 25

[twosilvercandlesticks]

carl is introduced as an extension of stratt. he's there to physically get grace into the car just in case stratt's words are not imposing enough. and when stratt does her little emotional manipulation show pretending she's gonna leave grace out of the project, it is carl who pushes him to just say yes to the three astrophage dots, acting almost as a mediator between them

but given time, carl and grace become friends. they do their venus box experiment together and grace credits carl in front of representatives from all around the world when asked about his discoveries. the movie even calls them parents, which is obviously played as a joke, but as someone who loves to take things too seriously, i do think it's significant when rocky having a mate and the reasons grace doesn't have one become a trigger for more memories later down the line. and that's the thing. grace wants to have an emotional connection with stratt, but she denies him of any friendship outside of a professional relationship. so he's friends with carl instead

and somewhere along the way, grace and the audience forget that carl is an extension of stratt, so we need to be reminded and feel kind of stupid for forgetting. we know that carl works for stratt, but he's grace's friend, so his loyalty lies with him right? nope. just like stratt, carl errs in the side of humanity. so when grace is chased and held down, carl doesn't try to help him get free, he doesn't even appear to consider it. he's back to being an imposing figure enacting a will higher than grace's

however, in grace's final moments amongst humanity, it is carl who acts as stratt's mouthpiece and delivers the lines that she cannot say herself, but we understand they come from her because she showed enough vulnerability to tell grace that she believes in him:

you know who you are, you're gonna do great

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

let's put Scooby and the gang in a genuine horror movie situation, i wanna see what these freaks are truly capable of

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"didn't they already do this with—" no. put them in a slasher film. put them in a BLOODBATH. put this van full of weirdoes in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre scenario i have FAITH in them

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

THEY'D DO WELL IN SAW

[batneko]

okay I'm thinking about this

not Saw specifically but a slasher with a legit body count. Summer camp slashers are overplayed but I think it really works because it's the type of thing the Scooby gang WOULD get caught up in.

like some of the counselors didn't show up (got got) so the head counselor calls his younger cousin to see if him and his friends can fill in last minute. They show up and they're a bunch of nerds, one of them even has an anxiety dog, and they don't have a big role at first. It seems like the movie is setting them up as cannon fodder.

and then the deaths start and suddenly the nerds are locked the fuck in. The little one with the glasses actually fixed the phone line and is taking stock of all their supplies in case the vehicles go out. The counselor's cousin who seemed like a himbo has set up a perimeter and made makeshift alarms for all the doors and windows, knows all the entry points. The anxious one and his dog are keeping the mood up with the snacks and activities that were supposed to be for the kids, making sure nobody panics and starts making dumb decisions. Somebody tried to grab the redhead and she flipped him over and had him zip-tied before anybody noticed. Weren't they a D&D group or something? What is happening???

[lizardlicks]

Fuck the slasher movie just effectively becomes Home Alone but with Four Kevin McAllisters

Bro's fucked.

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

art by Daviddv1202

[dawen]

at one point the kid with the anxiety dog says, "man, why does this keep happening? this is, like, the eighth time thid year!"

it's barely June. abruptly all the normal councilors understand a) why he has an anxiety dog, and b) why the dog has anxiety too.

[crystallizedtwilight]

Pining.

[stiffyck]

Rocky love Grace voice statement.

I was listening to City Of Stars on repeat and kept thinking about aroace grace. I love grace who is happy without a relationship, who doesn't need any romantic relationship to be fulfilled, but... I also keep thinking about Grace being a hopeless romantic. Grace who keeps hearing about love love love and nothing else, Grace who keeps waiting for that one true love, Grace who was more in love with the idea of romance than his actual girlfriend. Grace who just doesn't understand why it doesn't come naturally to him, why he can't seem to have what everyone else wants, what he keeps dreaming of. Maybe he thought Stratt may be the one for him. Maybe the idea of a big swooping romance with Stratt makes him want to claw his eyes out. Grace doesn't know what he wants.

He wanted to experience romance so bad, to understand what it was like to fall in love, what everyone keeps talking about... and now he never will.

Grace mourning his one true love back on Earth, someone who doesn't exist and never will. Grace mourning something that was never his in the first place.

[edgebug]

"grace. grace! grace give attention. rocky perform human ritual of escape closet now. statement."

"come again?"

"i learn more from thinking machine. human gender preference. attraction to same gender, means word 'gay.' all eridian same gender." rocky stands straight up. "rocky come out to grace now. all rocky plural gay, statement."

"...wow, that's... rock, i'm not sure it makes much sense to apply human ideas of sexual orientation to a monogendered species."

a long and judgmental pause. then:

"grace HOMOPHOBIC, question????"

[withdreamsofhereafter]

Hexagonal growth in a black olive tree

[nomotakitosha]

Sleepy eepy mirmir janka

[homunculus-argument]

Top 10 branches of science ranked by how bad it would suck to be killed by them (from best to worst)

Physics - probably the nicest just on the grounds of how fast that's gonna be. Like if you're a goner before any of the other sciences can get to you, you probably don't even have time to feel anything.

Biology - the most standard default way of dying. Most of the time it sucks but not badly enough to warrant you its own wikipedia page.

Geology - one of the oldest OG classics. Rock hits Og. Og is gone.

Psychology - slow tigers are chasing you.

Zoology - fast tigers are chasing you.

Sociology - idk me and the rest of the angry mob agree that you had it coming.

Chemistry - this is a hard one to place because there's a lot of variation. But anyhow you're getting undone on a cellular level.

Mathematics - how the fuck did you even do that.

Cosmology - why the fuck did you even do that?

Theology - what the fuck did you even do?