Five yeasts and a baby

[yeast-wizard]

welcome to the closest thing to a pinned post that will exist on this blog

Hi, I’m Fermis, and I’m an alcoholic. I have a young son named Steven, and I’m trying to improve for his sake, but it’s hard for me.

I am also a sentient mass of yeasted dough, but that is much less important. Oh, yeah, and my hat can hold a lot of stuff!

[OTHER BLOGS]

@carbsandcanvas - used to be Invader Zim RP blog with fuckin purple. Now I use as my main blog.

@informis-the-many-faced - Fermis’ brother, god of deception.

[certified-cervid]

Collecting kitty orbs increases your meow score

[gloomsday]

sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.

[john-boneman-lich-lord]

There is the infamous Ketamine Ape, the revered Cocain Bear and it's prey, the Cocaine Salmon. We also have the Meth Gators courtesy of the Floridian Wizards. But we need something fresh. Something new.

I propose we make the PCP Hippo.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

why are you doing this to me

[slutty-wizard-council]

So... we suppose we shouldn't tell you about the Fentipede?

[yeast-wizard]

The Fentipede is the tip of the iceberg. When you really delve into it, shit gets wacky. You try fighting a Flakka Manatee. It's like a fucking missile.

[wizardalexa]

✨For the next three milliseconds only, Acheron.wiz is having its biggest sale ever. 200% off every item in stock, as long as you complete your order within three milliseconds of when you began to read this paragraph. (The three milliseconds must be measured in terms of the natural linear flow of time only; any time stop spells or time travel shenanigans are cause for immediate disqualification.) That's right, 200% off—not only do you not have to pay anything, but Acheron.wiz will pay you the cost of the items you order! But you have to act fast—remember, to receive this amazing deal, you must complete your order within three milliseconds from when you began to read this paragraph.✨

[yeast-wizard]

I don't need time manipulation to get my grubby little mitts on a deal. Better luck next time.

[yeast-wizard]

[the-mighty-dalob]

I CAN arrange that if you would like to....

[yeast-wizard]

no.

[yeast-wizard]

[yeast-wizard]

Oh boy, time for my biannual orb post. Hi. I have yet to be baked to a crispy crust.

[yeast-wizard]

Orb malfunction. Shhhh...

[yeast-wizard]

A little birdie told me my friend was doing commissions. Below the cut if you want them.

A community for collaborative character creation and trading, worldbuilding and roleplay.

His blog is kittynugg, I'm not mentioning him with @ because he cannot know I'm doing this. This must remain secret, there will be consequences.

[yeast-wizard]

Oh boy, time for my biannual orb post. Hi. I have yet to be baked to a crispy crust.

[yeast-wizard]

Sex 2 devs confirmed to be working on Gay Sex 2. Big win for the community honestly.

[yeast-wizard]

why do you all still reblog the yellow post? get with the times we're orangeposting now

[yeast-wizard]

Going to culture a mold That Kills You. Anybody want some? I got two petri dishes and a whole lot of tupperware.

[yeast-wizard]

ACK!!!

[gavamont]

Wizard spell of Holy Hell Life Is Amazing.

[mundanemurphy]

Don't drink too much of that sorcerous schnapps! But enjoy your night!

[gavamont]

Sipping on that sorcerous schnapps

Have 1 shot and the fun don’t stop

Have 2 shots and the party is alive

Have 3 shots if you have time to imbibe

Have 5 shots and that gets kinda steep

Nave 6 shots and I go to wizard sleep

[yeast-wizard]

Gavamont the Green? More like Gavamont the Lightweight

Only six shots? Your liver must be dead weight

Surely you jest, that tolerance ain't great Can't pick you up off the floor you ate Gods, really, man, get the fuck up

Get up and pick that fuckin cup back up

[yeast-wizard]

Going to culture a mold That Kills You. Anybody want some? I got two petri dishes and a whole lot of tupperware.

[siley-the-wizard]

Kinda spicy for my taste, got Any drink with that?

[yeast-wizard]

Sorry. I don't keep water on me.

[yeast-wizard]

Going to culture a mold That Kills You. Anybody want some? I got two petri dishes and a whole lot of tupperware.

[tax--payer]

well it seems like she lemon on my pig till im hog

[tax--payer]

somethibg bad happen

[tax--payer]

uh oh

[tax--payer]

she seems to be having a wonderful time

[tax--payer]

ohhhh hog is not well

[tax--payer]

shes shrinking

[tax--payer]

she strives on due to my motherly love and care ^_^

[tax--payer]

she got lost but i found her on a shelf

[tax--payer]

she perseveres through the seasons

[tax--payer]

sealed her for transport so she can be witnessed by my two friends when i visit them

[tax--payer]

i took her to see my friends and only tripped and ate shit and hit my head on the pavement once ^_^

[tax--payer]

i finally took her out after 4 hog nightmares and 10 days and when i unsealed the jar a visible cloud puffed out and i feel unwell now ^_^

[tax--payer]

my cute pig has remained in her stasis jar for the last 4 months and only has been visibly wet several times ^_^

[tax--payer]

she still persists, almost 1 and a half years old now. soon i will have the funding to encase her in resin ^_^

[tax--payer]

my awesome stupid as fuck daughter gains power each baleful day