[snowbazfannov2020]

I'm going through a break up and this is the only place I feel like I can really talk about it with out worry that my in person friends or family will read this. I don't want them to know how sad i am.

We've been together 10 years, and at first it was beutiful. I was always there to support him in all his projects, and he always had a project.

Now he started a company and wanted to grow on his own, so I was pushed away from his project. That's when I learned that our relationship was a one way street. I played the role of therapist and shoulder and the rock, and all he did was emotionally dump on me and then leave. He'd party elsewhere. He be ok elsewhere. He'd cultivate other friendships and relationships, put his energy into things he could do nothing about, leave me with the most broken parts of him. To quote Taylor Swift - "is it really your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything, or do you just not want to?"

I feel stupid for sticking around this long, and for believing every time he would wave the carrot around. "I'll propose when X happens. I'll settle down next year" year after year. There was no carrot.

It's the alternate, more realistic ending for Wayward Son was this. Simon not getting his shit together, not trying, and Baz having to leave to save himself. The book broke me when I first read it, and AWTWB gave me hope. Like hey, ppl are messy, you just gota give it time and communicate. Both parties just have to want it, and try. I wished for that ending, but it just wasn't for us. It hurts because I was so Sure he was my person, you know?

[snowbazfannov2020]

Is there a 2022 inktober- Carry On prompt list out there that I'm missing?

[stillmadaboutpetra]

In honor of me being a dummy and not knowing how tumblr works but now (kinda) knowing how tumblr works so i dont have to remake this blog:

free commission giveaway!

for all my loyal followers who deal with my bullshit:)

the commission will be a portrait/headshot of your choosing. it could be you, it could be a character, an OC, it could be a pet.

you have to be following me

you have to reblog this to be entered to win via random number generation

DMs on tumblr gotta be enabled so i can msg u

-reblogs only count once

-ill message the winner september 15th.

kthx<3

[snowbazfannov2020]

So if you look at the Taiwanese translation for Wayward Son (the synopsis) Penny is referred to as the Hero Squadron Wisdom

[snowbazfannov2020]

Everything I have a hard time with something and think "I'm dying" I hear Baz's voice when Simon broke up with him going "I'm dying. I'm dying. This is death."

[with-rainbow-sprinkles]

although it’s a day late (my bad), here is my post for the @carry-on-big-bang! (the fic is linked in the title)

you’re really mine

written by with-rainbow-sprinkles (four of fifteen chapters are posted currently, & I will be updating daily!)

art by the very talented @snowbazfannov2020, who was amazing to work with! go support them on tumblr & instagram!!

warnings: N/A

tags: Tyrannus Basilton ‘Baz’ Pitch/Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton ‘Baz’ Pitch, Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce, Agatha Wellbelove, Dev (Simon Snow), Niall (Simon Snow), The Mage (Simon Snow), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, Angst, Fluff, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Hurt/Comfort, Hair Washing, Idiots in Love, Boys in Love, Boys Kissing, POV Simon Snow, POV Tyrannus Basilton ‘Baz’ Pitch, POV Penelope Bunce, POV Agatha Wellbelove, Watford Seventh Year, Carry On Big Bang 2022, Fanart

summary: Agatha breaks things off with Simon for good, and in a midst of jealousy, he decides the only way he can truly get to her is by obtaining the person she broke up with him for: Baz. Little does he know, Agatha isn’t the only one with feelings for his roommate…

word count: 17k

art (to be added in the fic in later chapters!):

thanks so much to the hosts of the event for this awesome opportunity, & to my partner for being so flexible and great to work with! I absolutely adore the way this fic and art turned out!

[snowbazfannov2020]

A fun read :D

[snowbazfannov2020]

My second Carry On Big Bang piece is for a fanfic written by @with-rainbow-sprinkles found on AO3. One of my favorite tropes, good old fake dating :)

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[bazzybelle]

TITLE: Youth Without Youth

RATING: Teen

WORDCOUNT: 60K (so far... and counting)

SUMMARY: Baz Pitch is his mother's son. Nearly from birth, he was taught the Old Ways of harnessing magic. He was taught to use the cycles of the moon, the days of the solstices, and the minerals from the Earth to cast spells. He was taught, from a young age, that Magic, while ever changing, is also grounded in tradition.

When his mother is killed in an attack on Watford, the blame is placed on the Ancient magic she called upon for protection and power. Since then, the Old Ways were seen as Dark, Evil, and far too dangerous and obscure for modernity. With the death of Natasha Pitch, came the death of Ancient Magic.

But Baz Pitch is his mother's son, and while he has to hide his Dark knowledge to the other magicians, he knows it won't be forever. He was taught well, and when the moment comes, he will take back his mother's legacy.

And no one (especially not the Mage's puppet, Simon Snow) will stand in his way.

NOTES: I'll keep this brief (my AO3 notes went on for WAY too long). Here is my @carry-on-big-bang fic! It is by far my longest fic, sitting at currently 60K, with quite a bit more to go.

Thank you to @amywaterwings, without whom this fic would not have been written. They were the one who pushed me, and encouraged me to write this fic.

Thank you to the mods, you have been amazing! Thank you to my incredible artist @snowbazfannov2020! It was amazing working with you! You need to check out their tumblr and Instagram! You can check out the art for this fic HERE!

Thank you also to @facewithoutheart for being an absolute badass of a beta. They took my nonsensical sentences and plot holes and has been hard at work smoothing them out.

This fic will be updating on a weekly basis (starting next Friday). I truly hope you like it.

Also be sure to read the other COBB fics. Judging from what I've read on tumblr during the WIP Wednesdays and Six Sentences Sundays, there are some SUPERB fics and art already posted. This fandom is super talented and I am so lucky to be a part of such a wonderful and lovely group of individuals.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[snowbazfannov2020]

It was a pleasure to work with @bazzybelle :) everyone go check out this fanfic!

[snowbazfannov2020]

Had a lot of fun drawing for my first Carry On Big Bang! This piece is for a fanfic written by @bazzybelle - found on AO3

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It has some good worldbuilding and Baz is bad ass, which I think is rare to see in a fanfic. Please go check it out :D

[snowbazfannov2020]

"That nothing can hurt him, not even me." -Baz Pitch

Idk what it is about this particular line, out of the whole love confession, that hits me the hardest. Maybe it's it's the God like adoration? For comparison- practically nothing can hurt Superman and there's such a comfort in that. Maybe it's the fact that Baz is thinking of Simon's safety over his own, while he's the one in a coffin? Maybe it's that up to this point in the book we've heard how Simon has been in conflict with Baz and we see now that it was all for show on Baz's end? I really don't know, but but kind hits me with like a religious vibe.

Any thoughts?

[thebookwasbetterthough-deactiva]

Omg Simon is such a ho, in retaliation for Baz pulling the open sesame move, he dashes to their room, showers, shaves (nicking his skin so he's a little bit bloody and therefore yummy) and "accidentally" comes out in just pajama bottoms with his tits full out, without the necklace. Like Simon you himbo thot XD SIMON SNOW IS A HO (for Baz).

[snowbazfannov2020]

Omg I never read it that way 😂

[snowbazfannov2020]

I'm thinking about Lucy and how even though she died because of the Mage, she still loved him. You can see it in how she tells us not to be angry with him and and how proud she is of his vision coming through regarding access to an education for all magicians.

This relationship is often seen as abusive, and it is. But it's not that simple to Lucy.

Anyone who's in a relationship with a startup founder or business person knows that the romantic relationship often comes second, at least in the early days of said business venture. And it's hard on the couple, but the understanding is that when said venture kicks off, more time will be alloted to the romantic relationship. Until then the partner is ideally supportive and understanding, although to expect perfect behavior at all times in such a frustrating situation is ridiculous. And the partner often feels important for being the go to and the confidant for their partner.

It's a tricky dance between not demanding attention at critical times for a project and being neglected. I can see how Lucy wouldn't know the difference.

And was she right? Did the Mage love her, in his limited way? Idk. Was it him that put her portrait in the catacombs? It sounds like he's talking to her in his inner monolog too, so maybe he misses her. The biggest reason why I think maybe be yes is because don't think RR would write such a non-nuanced character

[snowbazfannov2020]

So after Baz got caught being a creature of the night by AGATHA, he really just tried to Rico Suave his way out of the situation

[snowbazfannov2020]

How in the world did AGATHA catch Baz being a vampire when Simon has been trying for years

[thebookwasbetterthough-deactiva]

On Simon's reading

"Sing to me of the man. Muse, the man of twists and turns driven time and again off course"-ODYSSEY

it's crazy how there are some folks out there who think Simon doesn't read but he tells us in Wayward Son that he did "'You're supposed to get out and see things, meet strange people-lotus-eaters and sirens' 'That's not a road trip, Baz says, 'that's the Odyssey. When did you read the Odyssey Snow?' 'The Mage made me read it-I think he wanted it to rub off on me-and it is so a road trip!'" Chapter 21 Wayward Son

He not only read the Odyssey but has opinions on it.

Also he recognized Shakespeare when he hears it "'is that more Shakespeare?' 'Yeah, sorry. I know you prefer Homer"-Chapter 21 Wayward Son

I can compare Carry On to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet. Theres the ghostly visit demanding revenge, plots to hide the truth and the epic romance between Baz and Simon. Baz is such a Hamlet, he pines and dithers. Simon's a Romeo, he recklessly acts. It's great.

What's interesting to me is the parallels between The Odyssey and Wayward Son.

The Odyssey is about a sea voyage road trip but it's also about a soldier going home after a war. About surviving and navigating a changed world and reaffirming the relationships that have been impacted by conflict. Of sheding an old identity and adopting or developing a new one. And of accepting that you can't be who you were before the war began.

In the similar vein of Carry On having elements of Hamlet remixed in it, like Simon seeing the ghost instead of Baz. Simon's Penelope is not his wife and she's the one who initiates the trip like Athena. And although Agatha needs rescuing like the Odysseys Penelope, she rescues herself.

The scene with Margaret the dragon and the cyclops who also attacked Odysseus because of a stolen sheep. The restaurant that Baz meets Lamb in is called the Lotus of Siam and the fight with the Vampires kind of felt like Odysseus slaughtering the suitors.

There are also the false homes that are presented to Penny and Baz in the form of Micha and Vegas. Baz's intoxication in Vegas is also similar to the lotus eaters and Circes island, where he is briefly buoyant and then reality crashes when he is confronted with a part of himself he can't accept.

Odysseus' hair changes by the end of the story and so has Simon's. For Odysseus it means he is grown and changed so profoundly from who he was when he left for Troy. For Simon it means he's taking agency, at least that's what I think, but I've read some amazing analysis on this.

I also want to briefly mention Simon's quoting Maya Angelou, in her work I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings she mentions that she stopped speaking after she named the man who assaulted her and he was killed by the community in retaliation. She felt that her words had killed him, it reminds me of Simon's words that literally killed his father, he called out his abuser too and feels responsible for his death. But like Maya neither of them are at fault for what happened and they were courageousfor standing up for themselves.

Authors often use art within their art to draw attention to themes in their own work. So I see you Rainbow :)

If anyone finds any other parallels let me know, cause I love this sort of stuff

[snowbazfannov2020]

Yo my mind is blown. Just when I think I've finally given Rainbow Rowell enough praise for her writting lol

[snowbazfannov2020]

So Baz mentions that he saw his father get roughed up in an alley and we just don't mention this???

[snowbazfannov2020]

All Tana wanted was doughnuts but got a garnet necklace instead lol