moomimvalley's resident exclusies

lgbt discourse blog run by two silly friends (moomin and snufkin)! an about page is pending because we're bad at carrd

[snufmincourse]

hello everyone!

hello! a new lgbt discourse blog, what else is new?

this blog is run by two people! our views (on lgbt discourse) are as follows:

• being ace/aro does NOT inherently make you lgbt (ie cishet aces do exist)

• being polyam does NOT inherently make you lgbt

• MOGAI sexualities are harmful

• pansexuality is just the transphobic version of bisexuality and doesn't need to exist

• queer is a slur

• allo privilege does not exist

• you don't need dysphoria to be trans

• he/him lesbians and she/her gays are extremely valid

tagging for the sake of spreading the news (of course if you're tagged, you absolutely don't have to reblog!): @transcephalopod, @bigbirdcourse, @postdysphoric, @corvidscourse, @sweetestexclusbian, @dirtyallodyke

[jessekingman-deactivated2020092]

So then i told her respect pansexuals or else i'll steal your kneecaps right? And the whole discord went crazyyy

[blackarachnya]

can we please stop letting youth pastors have tumblr accounts 

[la-laborista-republiko]

[renthony]

this post made by aquarium gang

[elvenferretots]

I usually don’t share screenshots, but... this.

[transwriting]

I really hate how “queer” is being used so freely among writers now.

Even non-lgbt people are using it to say shit like “queer characters” and “queer stories” and “queer writers”. If you’re straight and cis don’t fucking use that word. It’s not your word to reclaim.

I’m not fucking “queer”. That word is a slur and not everyone is comfortable with it. Stop using it as an umbrella term. Stop using it to describe every lgbt person. Just because you like to use it for yourself doesn’t mean that everyone else likes it.

I hate the way this word has shoved itself into the writing world. If I see one more post titled something like “new queer books for 2015″ I’m going to jump out a window.

[halfhardtorock]

I literally stopped being comfortable with using the term to describe myself when I went back to college and had to sit in classes with straight students and professors using queer without wincing or pausing, with no discomfort whatsoever. Hearing it coming out of their mouths was painful to me. Who the fuck are they to say that so easily and lightly??

Now I wish it never was reclaimed as a way of describing the community because now anyone can use it.

[discourse-dryad-blog]

That’s pretty much why I hate it now. Before I was ambivalent, but that sealed it.

[discourse-dryad-blog]

Everyone who’s like “It’s an academic term now!”: Yes, that’s part of the fucking problem lol.

[tomcats-and-tophats]

wait what's wrong with the split attraction model? if it makes people happy then it makes people happy, esp ace folx who find themselves needing a way to explain that they're not aro or aro folx who need a way to explain they aren't ace. like... if it isn't hurting people then what's the purpose of making fun of/actively targeting people who are just trying to use words to describe themselves?

The split attraction model hinges on an over-literal reading of words that were pathologically applied to LGBT people to describe our orientation as a whole, in a way that coercively sexualizes us. And, because people are still missing this, “-sexual” refers to gender, not solely “wanting to bang”.

Think of, like, every negative stereotype you know attached to the words “bisexual” and “homosexual”. They probably have something to do with us being sexually ravenous predators with no real regard for our partners. It’s almost like there’s a reason that the latter is considered offensive at best, and a full-on slur by many.

When you decide “bisexual” isn’t enough, or that “gay” isn’t enough, and that you also need “biromantic” and “homoromantic”, you are suggesting that “romance” is not inherently included (or, at the very least, prioritized) within gay and bisexual identities. Can you not see how this is deeply hurtful and plays into some of the most significant stereotypes about us? Not to mention, the idea that romantic and sexual attraction are so easily separated makes it VERY easy for many of us to push ourselves deeper into the closet. Thank FUCK I wasn’t on this site as a young teenager, because instead of confronting the reasons why I was terrified of the idea of dating another girl (surprise: it was fear of homophobic repercussion), I would’ve just said I was a “heteromantic bisexual” and called it a day and thus set myself back five years.

You can be a bisexual ace, or a gay ace, or, yes, even a straight ace, because who you’re attracted to - which is literally All That These Labels Are Supposed To Mean - is not the same thing as how you are attracted to them. The identities do not contradict each other, and to claim that they do is to claim truth in some age-old homophobic garbage.

tl;dr the split attraction model is actually actively hurtful, and also, “folks” is a gender neutral word

[yorksilk]

the discussion of older lgbtq people using queer as a personal descriptor is such a messy conversation because at the same presentation I heard a 60-ish year old woman say queer was an empowering word that most lgbtq people of her age used, while a 79 year old man said he would never call himself queer because of the bad associations he had from having it used towards him as a slur, and you know what? they accepted and respected each others’ preferences and moved the hell on. it turns out older lgbtq people are not a monolith and have individual feelings on the word queer, yet can still act maturely and respectfully about it. where did we go wrong?

respect peoples’ decision to use or not use queer. it’s that simple.

[baptizm-deactivated20200524]

Call me problematique or whatever but I’m always gonna have reservations about pansexual and other variations (poly/omni/multi/etc.) because its origins comes from a misunderstanding of bisexuality and bisexual history, as well as transphobia. Like frankly people are gonna continue to use those terms regardless and in tandem with ID’ing as bi, but I need y’all to stop treating bisexuality as less inclusive and maybe do some research on ye olde google because I’m tiredt of it.

[gimmenotes]

I know it’s unintentional but there’s a lot of aesthetic to the bi label, a lot of grouping to it that never really ever once included me in it. It didn’t feel very welcoming to me when I was looking for what to call myself, which is why I ended up on pan because I wasn’t running into all this defining characteristics that have nothing to do with not caring what gender your partner is (like what shirts you wear, what music you like, etc…etc…). Like I know they’re synonyms but given how I grew up constantly considered an outsider, an other, someone who didn’t fit the definition of what my teachers and classmates felt was part of the chosen groups, that side of bisexuality was really alienating. It also makes me reluctant to use biromantic because I don’t want to be seen as part of that kind of aesthetic-loving, gatekeepy feeling culture.  

[ollieplimsolls]

say you’re a biphobe and go

[gimmenotes]

And here is an example of exactly the type of bullshit I was talking about

[ollieplimsolls]

you called bisexual ppl superficial and gatekeepy and that you don’t wanna be mistaken for a bisexual. it’s literally biphobia. it’s not bullshit to point out blatent biphobia that only harms our community that has included non binary ppl for decades

[commondyke]

I think a common misconception is that lesbian, gay, bisexual are "neat little boxes" that a lot of people don't fit into but that's not the case. Each label encapsulates a lot of different experiences and approaches to attraction. A lesbian that doesn't want sex is still a lesbian, a bi person who struggles to tell the difference between platonic, romantic and sexual feelings which differs or doesn't differ according to gender can still be bi. A gay man who isn't all that interested in dating is still gay. These are not limiting labels and not every person who uses an lgb label feels exactly the same about attraction.

[coolestfinch]

if you believe that lgb labels are close minded, exclusionary, or somehow not enough than you don’t understand how these identities work and what lesbian, gay, and bisexual mean. that is on you to educate yourself, not on us to reinvent our words or create new ones to encompass experiences that were already fully included. full stop.

[brown-lesbian]

whenever y’all wanna make the argument that bi women should be allowed to call themselves lesbians or dykes or butch/femme or etc., you use the excuse that bi women in history were called lesbians too by straight people before a distinction was made, so in your eyes, bi women deserve to use these terms.

i wanna clear something up here: bi women were called that when they entered relationships with other women. when they were in relationships with men, you know what they were called? straight.

bi women are not straight as they are not lesbians. being bisexual is a completely different and separate identity of its own, and it’s an incredibly important part of the lgbt community, and there is a whole culture and history of bisexuality out there where y’all have your own terms and practices and traditions. don’t use this very black-and-white rhetoric straight people do that reduces bisexuals to either be either or, and please stop disrespecting lesbians in the process.

[brown-lesbian]

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

the unbearable letdown of half-reading a long post you fundamentally disagree with only to not see a reblog of disagreement at the bottom

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

me halfway through: oh this is horribly misinformed and stupid i cant wait to see the dragging w/ all the sources at the bottom lmao. or like a funny joke that works as well

the dragging: just isnt there

me, suddenly empty inside: Huh.

[transcephalopod]

healthy gay male relationships in which the characters involved kiss, have a sex life, go on dates, declare their love and affection for each other, share a bed, etc will ALWAYS be more revolutionary and necessary to portray than a relationship that’s “undoubtedly a love story but what kind is up to you! uwu why do you want to see them KISS or get some other actual confirmation of their love you disgusting homosexual!”

men being friends or in a relationship ~without labels~ comes second to representing gay men’s love. always.

[chibisquirt]

You know what? No. No, and also, fuck this noise.

My aromantic ass is out here getting NO representation 90% of the time, and the one time, the ONE TIME I actually see a queer couple with what looks like a queerplatonic love story, and which is UNDENIABLY *some* kind of love story, that’s when y'all’re gonna go off about it not being gay enough? Fuck you. Take your alloromantic privilege and shove it.

[transcephalopod]

my gay ass is over here risking getting literally murdered if i hold a man’s hand in public but sure, “alloromantic privilege”

[imaginedsoldier]

[bicaz-deactivated20201205]

please do not force an lgbt label onto anne frank. she died before she had the chance to explore her sexuality and if you need to think of her as lgbt to have empathy for her you need to reconsider how you think of holocaust victims. please do not vilify her father, a man who lost his entire family in the holocaust, for censoring the parts in anne’s diary where she expresses attraction for women. it was 1947. jewish girls were already seen as hypersexual. he was protecting her legacy as best he could, and you have no right to call him a villain for wanting what was period-typical best for his late daughter.

[progressivejudaism]

Non-Jews, please read and reblog.

[creepercourse]

lgbt people: pls stop killing us

ace people: hehe I’d rather eat cake!!! Sex is bad!!! Hehe

[creepercourse]

vs

[exclusionistgodzilla]

Me: feminism should inherently include men bc it's a movement for equality, and men do face gender-specific issues

"Anti-SJW" people: :)

Me: but a lot of the issues ("man up", inability to talk about or show emotion publicly, inability to express physical affection with friends for fear of being percieved as feminine or gay, more) are largely perpetuated by other men and part of patriarchal ideals

"Anti-SJW" people: >:(((((((