Just my humble little contribution to the ides of march celebration.
Sorry for any grammatical error, English is not my first language.
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@so-ive-been-thinking
Just my humble little contribution to the ides of march celebration.
Sorry for any grammatical error, English is not my first language.
Ides of march already trending on tumblr in preparation for the day, like, do u think that the senate was this excited to stab caesar as well
Moment of silence for Panic! At the Disco I guess
By Fall Out Boy
How does it feel to be the funniest person on my dash today
Elon Musk lands on Mars and steps out of his spaceship
“It’s a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind,” says ground control officer and cuts off all communications.
Jeff this is not a bad joke
Jeff this is not a joke it’s a prophecy
I am convinced the only reason people work for SpaceX is to make this prophecy a reality
LIKE TO CHARGE REBLOG TO CAST
Goncharov broke containment.
I will never not laugh when I see someone say “Jaskier is useless.”
People have watched so many superhero movies that they think everyone has to glow or shoot lasers to have value.
I mean…sure, yes...he is useless…IF you consider the human experience of friendship, love, and art a complete and utter waste of time. lmao.
Just because Yen is magical and Geralt is a warrior doesn't mean that this is a superhero group. It is not. Forget about the Avengers and the Justice League for a second. Forget about Star Wars. This is not a team formed to save earth. This is not a band of rebels throwing off imperialists.
The Witcher is a found family. Their most pivotal decision is to love and protect one(1) child. Their most important super power is love.
Geralt, Yen, and Ciri’s biggest problems are that people want to use them as tools. People see Geralt as a tool to rid them of inconvenient problems without having to get their own hands dirty. They see Yen as a tool to amass power, and they see both of them as rungs to use to get to the ultimate tool. Ciri.
Geralt, Yen, Ciri, these people are fucking exhausted. And I don’t mean they need naps (though they do). They are all that bone deep, hollow, exhausted that comes from having to battle every moment of every day to be seen as a PERSON. The kind of exhausted that comes from not being able to trust ANYONE because there is a price on your head.
Jaskier is their person. Yes it takes time to get there with Yen. But he gets there. He is their port in the storm. He would never turn them in not for any amount or any gift or anything. He is the person that they know beyond a shadow of a doubt does not give a fuck about power and who isn’t capable of seeing them as anything but friend shaped. Person shaped. They are his folks.
He is important to them because how do you even keep going with the world against you, without one person at least who just loves you for you? Who just loves your bad jokes and your navel gazing and who sees your prickliness for what it is? Vulnerability?
Wouldn’t you fold and give up without that? Without friendship? What would the story be then?
And for Mr Jaskier, that’s not even getting to the crucial deeply important cultural role that troubadours play in a world with no television or internet or data storage. It’s not even touching on his role as a narrator, historian, and world builder. And that’s not even getting to the 'art is an integral, crucial part of this fictional universe, (just like it is in real life)' part of it.
It’s not even touching on the fact that his “gossip” often turns out to be critical intelligence and his fame and political savvy are constantly bailing them out of trouble.
We don’t need to!
If you can look at Geralt *gestures at his whole deal* and not see that this poor man needs a friend more than literally anything else in the world...then I cannot relate. And if you can look at Yen and Jaskier or Ciri and Jaskier and not see how beautiful that is, people drawn together by the undeniable need for found family and the undeniable value of loyalty in a shitty world, then I don’t know, man. We are on different ass wavelengths.
schrodinger's chekhov's gun. a detail in a story that looks like it should have some big payoff but it's too early to tell if that's relevant or if the author just has a passion for lovingly describing guns.
schrodinger's chekov's occam's razor: you find an inconsistent or inaccurate detail in a work that would be brilliant if it was foreshadowing a plot twist later on, but it's too early to tell whether the author expects you to be smart, and the simplest explanation is that they fucked up
Henry is literally the only reason a live action Geralt of Rivia worked in the first place. And it has nothing to do with him being a big fit dude but everything to do with him being a huge nerd and a bigass fan of the books and the video games. He knew this character. He was literally on set discussing with the show runners what Geralt would or wouldn’t do. This show only worked because Henry was the One good choice for Geralt. Just cancel your fucking show.
I can’t wait for Jaskier’s confused ass when Geralt just comes rocking up with a completely new face in season 4 lmao
I think to make this 1000 times funnier the characters should change actors every time they enter a scene except for an increasingly confused Jaskier
Why don't they just put a wig on Joey Batey and let him play both Geralt and Jaskier
Using tumblr is like living in a low class apartment building. You just get used to the landlord not fixing things, and then someone new moves in and you're helpfully like "oh yeah don't drink the tap water, it's got stuff in it that makes you sick" and then your neighbor you've had forever goes "oh they took the stuff out actually" and you're like "what? when was this?"
"like two years ago"
"you mean i could've been drinking the tap water all this time?"
"yeah. they gave us individual mailboxes too finally, you don't have to dig through the communal bin anymore"
"are you for real right now?? i just redirected my mail, i didnt know"
and the new tennant is like "why did you guys even live here if it was so bad"
"we like it."
"I kinda miss the communal mail bin tho"
"the perpetually naked guy got evicted though"
"i know, so sad. he was really gross"
"i mean, his cousin streaks through the commons sometimes and knocks on all the doors"
"oh yeah, hate that guy"
New Person: I just saw this weird guy in the lobby in a really creepy anthropomorphic Pikachu costume??????
Old Resident: yeah we have no idea where that guy came from. We've left messages with maintenance 'bout 'im but-
Other Old Resident: just don't make eye contact and you should be fine.
"what are these strange markings in the paint?"
"Oh! Thats from the crab infestation!"
"The crab infestation?! Wow, glad they got that under control before I moved in."
"Oh, no no, it was an intentional infestation."
"Uh...."
"Yeah, we're hoping they bring the crabs back next year. A lot of us made friends with those crabs."
No, I'm not joking, he doesnt just look like him, I swear to God neil gaiman lives across the hall.
Rescue professional here:
If you need rescuing or help, DON’T FUCKING MOVE. You are so much easier to find when you stay put.
Credits: @foxes-in-love
Your most important survival skill is asking for help
Goddamn preach this
"Your most important survival skill is asking for help." THIS, it makes me so damn pissed off when parents try and normalize that asking for help is a taboo thing!
this is what ancient greek philosophy is like
Diogenes driving a mobile home into the symposium to ruin Plato’s day.
"Behold, a van!"
{this user wants you to toss them their keys}
{This user thought you said printer}
Ed being constantly amazed by Stede
I like stories where a normal human child is being raised by a sinister supernatural being who is totally malevolent except when it comes to their kid. Those are so much better than the “kids are scary” changeling type horror movies.
Like a perfectly well-adjusted well-mannered friendly child that is like “This is my dad, Surazal. He comes out of the mirrors in dark rooms. He makes really good blood pudding but he’s bad at playing catch. Most people can’t see his corporal form but I can because he says I have special eyes.”
“Mom says that you can stay over but you have to promise not to leave my room between midnight and 1 am. You can play Mario Cart with me! But you have to knock on every closed door in the house before entering just because dad might be in there and if you look upon his visage without drinking the holy fruit juice, you might go crazy or something. Also dad is really excited I have a new friend and he’s going to to make hardtack and mystery stew for us! You’ll love it!”
In high school the kid gets a friend that is an amateur demonologist who initially befriends them in hopes of exorcizing their house but ends up becoming buddies with Surazal too because they crave parental affection.
Surazal stands at the end of the vast dark hallway and says “You Too Have Special Eyes, Little One. You Can See Me Without Being Taken By The Madness. Within You, I Sense Great Turmoil And Sadness. In My Younger Years, I Would Have Exploited The Sadness As Weakness In Your Very Soul. I Would Have Worn Your Skin Like A Mask And Run Through The Village Streets, Supping Blood From Every Man I Encountered. But Now I Have No Use For Woe. Perhaps You Would Like To Watch Beetlejuice In The Family Room With My Daughter While I Prepare Cupcakes. I Am Sensing You Have A Fondness for Red Velvet.”
Monsterfucking is out. Monsterparenting is in.
Why would you hide this in the tags
had the phrase “like the handgun in the first aid cabinet” come to me in a dream and damn that’s evocative. fuck if i know what it evokes though.
Oh, I like this a lot, actually. I hang my first aid cabinet on the wall so whenever someone is hurt and needs help, I can put my hands on the necessary item right away. Bandages, lidocane, disinfectant, a thermometer, it all has a home and it all says something about how I fix things. You can open my first aid kit and the bandaids have cartoon characters on them and there’s a small-size ankle wrap for little ankles and that tells you a lot about what problems I expect to encounter. If you open a first aid cabinet and the only thing in there is a handgun, it’s going to tell you a lot about the problems that person thinks they’re going to be facing and how they plan to deal with it.
If your toolbox only has a hammer in it, every problem is gonna start to look like a nail.
Sometimes the only way to save one life is to end another.
It’s the last aid cabinet.