Callum

He/him Not a minor

[solaeirr]

I owe C418 my whole fucking life, like god he did so well with the Minecraft soundtrack like if I ever meet him I’m just perfectly willing to do whatever he ask of me

Like that man could kill me and I’d just say thank you for Sweden

[batshit-auspol]

Occasionally as an Australian you'll be talking to someone from overseas, and you'll discover a common phrase you took for granted is, in fact, not universally known outside of our country.

Turns out casually dropping "fuck me dead" into conversation will give unsuspecting Americans an aneurism.

The more you know.

[batshit-auspol]

Imagine being on a work call with an Aussie and they suddenly announce they're gonna blow a load in response to a problem.

[fred-the-dinosaur]

Not Aussie but I asked an American once if she was taking the piss ( i.e. pulling my leg, joking. Perfectly cromulent and friendly english expression)

and she got really upset because she thought I was threatening to piss ON her

[honiibbang]

This is killing me

[batshit-auspol]

Rifling through the tags, here's some other terms which are apparently causing mass carnage whenever they escape our borders:

Having a goon (i.e. Sipping on a delightful wine)

Having a gaytime (Eating an icecream)

Having a sticky beak (Investigating)

Take a squiz (To have a sticky beak)

Get stuffed (To express a revelation is most frightful)

Chuck a sickie (Take a day off work due to the humours being misaligned)

Chuck a wobbly (When one's temperament becomes visibly upset)

Carry on like a pork chop (Acting most silly indeed)

Thongs (flip flops)

Hot chook (Pre-cooked supermarket rotisserie chicken, otherwise known as the Bachelor's Handbag)

Fair suck of the sauce bottle (Let's be real)

Shits me to tears (Something is mildly annoying)

Not here to fuck spiders (Expressing a situation is serious)

Having a piss-up (A social gathering)

I'll shout you (offering to goon an old chum)

A cruisy place (a relaxed atmosphere, where one might shout and goon the night away while enjoying many a gaytime in your favourite thongs)

[xrd]

*does this to you*

[xrd]

Frankly beautiful way of phrasing it

[transhuman-priestess]

Tumblr did not “Goncharov” Poob. Poob is Glupp Shittoing Tubi/Pluto/Roku Channel/Hulu/etc.

[gender-luster]

none of these words are in the bible. or the dictionary, for that matter.

[hugintheraven]

#While this is a joke#For the etymologists out there#Tumblr did not “goncharov” poob#translation: Tumblr is not making a fictitious thing called poob that we insist is real#Poob is glup shittoing (streaming services)#Translation: Poob is now a generic name for whatever streaming platform is out there when you don't feel like naming something specifically

[disregardcanon]

[lychgate]

Has anyone seen the giraffe lamp at ikea

[lychgate]

Hes allowed on the table

[lychgate]

Were watching sumo together

[lychgate]

Here imea giraffe lamp, it's your turn on the donkey kong

[interestingmistakes]

Reblogging this manually. Op doesn't want credit for fear of being terminated.

[left-lateral-incisor]

[ID: A picture of the progress pride flag. The chevron with the stripes for trans people and people of color, as well as the intersex flag, have been replaced with the Tumblr "This content has been removed for violating Tumblr's Community Guidelines." /End ID]

[pocketss]

Ummm she's literally sensitive :/

[hauntedhotel]

Me, on the welcome desk in the library: Good morning, how are you today?

Customer: I have welcomed Jesus into my heart and so I am well today and every day.

Me, a little unnerved: Okay then! Is there something I can help you with?

Customer, digging around in his bag and pulling out an iPhone in a box: Unfortunately, Jesus can't help me with this fucking phone, so I came to the library.

[gallusrostromegalus]

The Library!

For When Not Even God Can Help You!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This phrase has already entered my vocabulary re: media criticism where like. The viewer has a concrete view of what they expect a story to be based on the tropes and cliches they're used to seeing together, and when that doesn't happen, they judge it as a failed depiction of what they assumed it was going to be instead of judging it as what it actually is.

"This show is problematic because the hero didn't kill the villain at the end": When does he steal the bread?

"These two characters who were close friends throughout the series don't kiss at the end! What the fuck?": When does he steal the bread?

"This feels like it's missing a conclusion! Like, the protagonist does bad stuff and because of a critical decision he makes as a result of his major character flaws, meets tragedy in the end! Where's the part where he learns better and brings is love back from the dead and becomes a good guy and gets a happy ending?": When does he steal the fucking bread??

[thetetra]

I heard this out as "When criticizing something, you must judge it for what it is, not what it isn't"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this is why so many of us urge people to get a wider diet of stories

[parkchanwoohoo]

I loved this post just because all the comments flipped between sincere appreciation and mockery of the birds

[greelin]

i miss the pnw so bad

[greelin]

my phone loves to remind me.

[clonerightsagenda]

I rag on Maes Hughes for being chill with genocide but to be *entirely* fair upon a reread, it's not like he's loving it, he's just not particularly haunted by it either. Roy rants about how this is a betrayal of how he joined the military to protect people (mistake number one, dude, seriously) and Maes calls him naive. His reason for fighting is to stay alive. While Roy talks about his dreams of a better future, Maes refers to letters from his girlfriend as his brighter future. He's willing to support Roy's ambitions because Roy's his friend, but he thinks they're childish.

The impression I get is that Hughes has decided he can tolerate atrocities as long as he stays alive and can go home to his loving family, so he leans into that loving family really hard. That's his reward. That's what makes it worth it. Which adds a layer to Envy killing him while disguised as his wife. You can't hold those things separate. If you're a collaborator propping up an awful regime, your family (and you) will still eventually become its victims. The rot at the heart of the nation is wearing your loved one's face.

[fuck-customers]

Algorithmic Monocultures in Hiring - Stanford Digital Economy Lab

[m4nsch]

happy pride! remember that being a transgender is everything but fiction. there are so many real historical figures from every century about whose transgenderism we aren't even aware of

on this picture i drew Alexandr Andreevich Alexandrov - cavalry officer of the russian imperial army that participated in napoleonic wars. people persistently keep on misgendering mispronounsing deadnaming and calling him a crossdresser although alexandrov clearly stated that he didn't want to be called by his deadname and being treated like anything but a man. that's an interesting historical figure and i wanted to draw attention to his person. i can't tell everything about him in only one post so i recomend you to read about alexandrov by yourself

also be proud of yourself and remember that you're valid! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[godblessthesickos]

World historical loser

[drwiltz-official]

[shutyourmoustache]

Making exercises more accessible to the disabled? Fuck yeah!

[scartafacci]

when they ask him if he’s looking forward to facing shane and ilya replies, “he is goalie now, yes?”, he finds if so fun, he just keeps doing it, and he’s obviously a bit more of an asshole about it every time.

“shane hollander? sorry, i don’t know the names of all assistant coaches.”

“shane hollander? the zamboni driver for montreal? does good job, sure, but i have seen smoother ice.”

“shane hollander? who is that? does he sell popcorn during the games so that he can at least watch from afar?”

“shane hollander? you mean the guy who has coffee cart outside the arena because selling iced drinks is the closest he will get to hockey?”

“shane hollander? of course i remember him. he is park guide now, did you know? yes that is the closest he will get to sticks.”

(to the journalist) “shane hollander? is that the name of your son? does he want my autograph?”

and of course ilya also knows that those answers will get him angry sex every time, so he feels very encouraged to continue.