Cosimo Galluzzi

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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YOU ARE THE REASON

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@solphuruz
sorry I love this painfully mid media so much I could throw up
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980ā²s.Ā The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.Ā Ā
As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.Ā Ā
It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.Ā Ā
Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, itās pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.Ā Ā
The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.Ā Ā
Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.Ā Ā
Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.Ā Ā
Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.Ā (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)Ā Ā
It worked!Ā Ā
Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because itās unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.Ā Ā
However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.Ā (This would not work with real eggs because he canāt sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird.Ā White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he canāt retire while Walnut is alive.Ā (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)Ā Ā
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
the āthis content has been removed for violating Tumblrās Community Guidelinesā notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was
World Heritage Post
I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.
Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe
who wanna be friends with drawbacks
friends with consequences
just received the best text message Iāve ever had. from my mom
2 pics. no caption
Ngl I totally forgot fandom discourse was a thing. I donāt care man, I have car payments
starting a collection
If I may submit:
As the person who got their R keyboard broken and the world mocked me for being forced to use the uwu language as replacement
My condolences
put that back
National Lampoon, October 1985
Iām actually always thinking of that āmaybe I wonāt die cause Iām specialā tweet
dog i gotta move like yesterday
ok so this would be my vision for the cigarette cake x
I made this, and it's cooling right now. Just realized I accidentally ONLY did oreo bits instead of "cut with caramel".
(I'm super proud that I made this, please reblog <3)
I made another; Dad wanted it for his birthday.
Reading the Wikipedia pages for 1910s films is like
"Made on a budget of $75, the film was an unexpected smash hit, selling out theaters across the country. Thought lost after a vault fire in Paris in 1954, a full print was discovered in a Brazilian nursing home in 2013, where it was being used as a doorstop."