let me reinvent.

19 | she/her | ✨️ complete fucking nerd ✨

[argillaforma]

ilya and svetlana's friendship is so good they're childhood friends, they're lovers, ilya is her gay best friend who is also a straight bro, svetlana is his only voice of reason, they fuck, they do girls night, they pick hookups for each other, sometimes they can't stand each other, they would kill for each other

[honeyybrii]

ilya rozanov spent so long trying to pretend he didn't love shane hollander, then when he couldn't anymore he tried to hide it and press it down and 'you don't like me' because his love isn't good enough, he isn't good enough

and then he finally gets to love shane and be meshed into his life even if it's in secret. and imagine his shock and disappointment to find that everyone who's gotten to love shane, loudly, without fear, and without hiding - are doing it wrong

[tenderhooked]

I WANT TO WRITE MY STORIES!!!!!!!!!!!! -> continues doing literally Anything Else besides writing

[parcai]

fixed it.

[ellisonwongparty]

here's some instances in which ilya has to drop everything and bail svetlana out:

when she loses her passport in prague

any sort of visa or international travel related question

when she gets too high and gets Scared

when she gets arrested.

when her mom is being annoying and she has to attend another one of her galas where it's all only models or rich VCs and her mom won't stop getting on svetlana's case about finding a long term boyfriend so she and ilya have to arrive together and pretend to consider marriage. this stops being an option when ilya starts dating shane.

when she gets into a fight with best friend #3497 because she slept with her dad or her mom or her brother or her boyfriend or -- anyway and because of that she gets stranded on whatever international vacation she got taken on because svetlana only likes being friends with rich people or celebrities

whenever she has a phone call with her mom for longer than 30 minutes.

when she doesn't get into grad school the first time and goes on a bender and gets arrested

when she makes ilya edit her grad school application one year later because ilya's surprisingly good at grammar

[wemightnevermakeitout]

During Shane's Rose Landry era Ilya went insane and did a ton of reckless shit and Cliff half jokingly asked if he needed to call Ilya's mom or something and Ilya just went "hard to call the dead" or something like that and that's how Cliff found out Irina was dead because i know in my heart soul and ass that ilya deflected every. single. godam. time.

[prigorie]

hollanov met in december 2008 and got married in july 2021. approximately 12 years and 7 months. it's very possible that by the time they got married, shane had been in ilya's life for longer than his mom

[americanmoths]

thinking about the first time shane and ilya are having sex post-cottage and shane stops to fold ilya's clothes alongside his own. praying for shane's hole in that moment.

[hudconvent]

shane hollander doing a bunch of anti smoking billboards for city of montreal that ilya loves to send a photo of himself in front of with a lit cigarette between his lips every time hes in town

[nohoperadio]

You know that thing would eat you if you died, right? *pointing to the false image of you that others perceive*

[smokingrozanov]

Svetlana serving cunt at her best friend’s dad’s funeral is so funny

[scaredycatshane]

She's been praying for this day for years. That outfit was in a dress bag at the back of her closet just waiting for its time to shine.

[valtsv]

literally nothing matters. except winged characters sheltering other characters under their wings. that's extremely important actually.

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

I write for the dialogue the plot is just filler

[notahammer]

[hollanovstunamelt]

Y’all Ilya WAS the favourite child.

A lot of times in media when there is a depiction of an abusive household it’s almost always from the pov of the least favourite child, but Ilya was not the least favourite!

Repeat after me everybody

BEING! THE! FAVOURITE! DOES! NOT! SAVE!YOU!

[bemusedlybespectacled]

yeah between the two of them Ilya was the talented one who supported the family and gets special attention from important people (see: Svetlana’s dad) and managed to not get a drug addiction or get anyone pregnant. I know in my bones that all of Alexei’s conversations with their dad were along the lines of “you’re a coke addicted fuckup, why can’t you be more like Ilya?”

and yet Ilya’s whole job is to stand there in silence while his dad politely talks shit about him in front of other people, because being the favorite does not save you! if anything it made his dad come down harder on him every time he wasn’t perfect!

[shortshortking]

Yes this this this.

When Ilya says of Alexei "He's always hated me and I know why," I don't read that as Alexei having clocked Ilya's sexuality. Yes Alexei calls Ilya a faggot but that's just because it's the shittiest insult he knows, he doesn't actually believe it. The reason Alexei hates Ilya is because Ilya was the golden child and Alexei has been compared to Ilya and found wanting since the day Ilya was born, and Alexei isn't self-aware enough to figure out that was never Ilya's fault.

[raincitygirl76]

Alexei is an active drug addict and in the restaurant scene he was faced with the very real possibility that he wouldn’t be able to pay his dealer. If he’d known anything about Ilya’s bisexuality, he would’ve used it in 1.05 to blackmail him. He didn’t, even when he was frantic, not knowing where his next fix would come from. Which means Alexei didn’t have a clue. If he had, he would’ve bled Ilya dry.

Also, Alexei is a police officer. If Alexei knew something about Ilya that he could get arrested for in Russia, Ilya would have waited to cut him off until after he (Ilya) was safely back in Boston. He’s not stupid. Alexei routinely called Ilya an f-slur just because it’s the worst insult he can think of, not because he knows the truth.

He doesn’t know his little brother at all. And blames Ilya for things that weren’t his fault when they were both children.

I suspect Alexei might have once been Grigori’s favourite. When Ilya was a toddler and preschooler, a soft, giggly little boy. Yeah, Irina and Ilya were close, but Alexei had his father. And then Grigori and Irina put Ilya on the ice for the first time, long before he could lace up his own skates. And he skated rings around every other kid on the ice, including the brother who was four years older than him.

Suddenly Grigori lost interest in his older son, and Ilya became the favourite of both parents for different reasons. Irina because he was sensitive like her, and Grigori because he was a child prodigy. And as OP says, Alexei didn’t have the self-awareness to realize that Ilya didn’t choose this situation. And that being the golden child wasn’t actually any easier than being ignored. It was still abuse, just a different kind of abuse.

[nellasbookplanet]

Something so funny about rereading one's own unfinished fics. Like wow this is pretty good! Almost as if it was written exactly according to what I personally like in fact! Someone should finish it!

[shadowseductress]

west yearns for raita so bad