mutație a florilor de magnolie @prigorie - Tumblr Blog

goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

iapislazuli

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people”

iapislazuli

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

ilions-end

it's darkly funny to me at the end of the odyssey when odysseus and penelope talk about all the livestock and valuables they've lost to the suitors, and odysseus assures her he's gonna work really hard and soon go on lots of raids to get more, in the exact same tone as "don't worry honey, i'll work extra shifts down at the factory"

ilions-end

i've been seeing some confusion in the notes of this post so i'd like to clarify that the thing i find darkly funny isn't that odysseus is planning to head out, it's that he's planning to head out on raids. the man who was so enraged about the threat to his household and its resources that it led to a death toll in the triple digits is planning to go out and kill and enslave someone else entirely and take their livestock and valuables for himself to make up for the losses. and this passes as completely neutral information to both husband and wife and narrator!

loki-zen

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

mtndewpitchblack

can-i-make-image-descriptions

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: and who exactly is cleaning the floors after all this. right /End ID]

elexecution

they need to invent the opposite of an nda called an fda where u have to tell everyone everything

subpoena

tumblr

alcohol

war thunder forums

Oh here we go. What new fucking gender is that flag in your bio

THE HUNGARIAN FLAG???

willgrahamscock

happy pride hungary

clytemnestraaa

if Hayden hadn’t outed them publicly how do you think they’d go about it after getting married ?

tastefully worded borderline ambiguous post on shane’s instagram featuring photos of them together on various scenic hikes standing at least 3 feet apart in every shot. followed by a tourist’s photo of them in ibiza with ilya with the worst sunburn of his life fully lobster red with both hands down the back of shane’s swim trunks grabbing his bare ass. followed by a tweet published on ilya’s twitter at 3:31am and deleted at 4:47am that reads YES I SUCK COCK YOUR MOTHER WAS GREAT TEACHER

qi-mera

More of you need to learn about these ☝️

jadenebula

ilyannarozanova

If Ilya and Shane actually wrestled like no holds barred to the death full competition mode rough and tumble fighting, I think most of the time Shane would win. Shane is used to Ilya throwing him around and pinning him down, but Ilya gets tossed to the ground once and gets so turned on he passes out. Shane yells at him and pins him and he just gives up because he's so horny he cannot actually think. Their friends are like oh my god Shane you're hurting him! And Ilya is lying there under him so so so pleased like yayyyy I love being pinned by my huge sexy jock boyfriend #mysexyjockboyfriend DO NOT SAVE HIM he is exactly where he wants to be!!

shieldofiron

Hollanov's first out and open pride... wait I'm gonna cry. Shane looking around kind of overstimulated but kind of in awe and confused and happy. Ilya with a huge margarita and an even huge-r cowboy had with "it's pride bitch" painted on his titties.

catchymemes

bambicoded

noxexistant

thinking about the bed, 1892 by henri de toulouse-lautrec featured on the wikipedia page for “blanket”

penandinkprincess

listen i'm not advocating for exotic animals as pets, but i really just feel like cheetahs are probably different

i feel like we need to give them another shot as housebeasts

penandinkprincess

this is a critter who wants greenies and then to take a nap on the couch next to me, and i KNOW it

penandinkprincess

cheetah in House perfec t size for put inside! inside very Soft and Comfort cheetah sleep soundly put cheetah in House. Put Cheetah In House. no problems ever in cheetah in ho use because good Happy and Satisfy for human where sleep. House yes a place for a cheetah put cheetah in house can trust cheetah for giveing good love to humans in house. friend cheetah

justasmidgx

I mean, as someone who as worked in a zoo, this is fairly true.

Obvious disclaimer that you shouldn't have wild animals as pets.

But like, cheetahs are the only large cats that keepers will do free contact with. Hell, even most small cats don't get free contact. (Because small cats can be VICIOUS. They'll have a baby pallas cat wearing thicker gloves than when handling an owl. Because small cats can just be vicious.)

Like I think the only other cat at our zoo where I've seen free contact with was servals? Because I know they've used servals in shows to demonstrate their natural jumping ability. But I know servals can sometimes have a mean temper as well. Meanwhile they'll do the cheetah run and afterwards put the mic by the cheetahs and it's just like an engine with them purring. It's fascinating to watch when the message in every other large animal is "no free contact because it's dangerous even when they're born in captivity".

Legit if any wild animal could be adapted to a pet it would be cheetahs lmao. Only problem is they can be skittish and very anxious and that's why they're often raised around dogs in zoos to gain confidence.

penandinkprincess