YIKES™

I was fine until my friend got me into kpop and now I obsess over several Korean men who don't know I exist its fine I'm fine. (I stan Kim Jongdae, just so you know. *wink wonk*)

[alpine-langblr]

[latinkilledtheromans]

MYSTERY STORY TIME

So there was a single, solitary kiwi on our counter in the kitchen.

And I decided to make fun of my roommate for it, because who buys one, single, solitary kiwi? So I asked her that.

Roommate: I didn’t buy a kiwi.

Me: This isn’t your kiwi?

Roommate: No?

Me: But this isn’t my kiwi.

Roommate: That kiwi was there when I got home.

Me: I don’t even eat kiwi!

As you can see, it’s a real kiwi. Here it is, on my counter, giving away nothing.

But I was still confused as to where it came from. Did one of us accidentally buy a kiwi at the store? 

So I looked up the Kiwiny company to figure out which stores it’s sold at, to see which one of us might have bought it, since we tend to use different grocery stores.

Kiwiny doesn’t have American retailers.

There is literally no reason for this kiwi to be in my kitchen.

[221cbakerstreet]

It came all the way from Italy and this is how you welcome it

[distinguishedbaloney]

[remembertodrinklotsofwater]

ive been writing this program to keep track of when you do day to day tasks like doing dishes/laundry. anyways my streak of “bugs in things i write manifesting as infinite loops of unexpectedly poignant user prompts” continues

[kirbymongerr]

If I was scrolling faster I would’ve entirely blown this off as an aesthetic post and moved on

[theinturnetexplorer]

Poor Grandma

[drunkcyclonus]

this is seriously the one time I wish a video has sound.

[chibi-masshuu-deactivated202508]

Brilliant.

[pizzaotter]

What the hell is this? :O

[candiikismet]

Me at 1000 years old

[handsupcashx0ut]

What do we say to the God of Death?

Not today.

[starlightandtears]

I haven’t seen this post in YEARS so I forgot what it’s like. I nearly screamed.

[bryko-deactivated20170127]

[surprisebitch]

otp tbh

[hustleinatrap]

In honor of 19-year-old Simone Biles being named Woman Of The Year by ESPN. 

She won a record four gold medals at the Olympics. She’s untouchable!

Congratulations!

[tanosaurus]

okay but she is just literally flying. She doesn’t obey the laws of physics. She is her own law. Biles Law. Coolest woman ever.

[westafricanbaby]

I AM SOOOO PROUD 😢😢👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[smitethestate]

She is a real-life superhero.

[darthmelyanna]

She is so dominant that she took a year off, came to Worlds, was in the hospital for a kidney stone 24 hours before the all-around final, fell on beam, went out of bounds on floor, and still won by a mile.

She’s not just the most dominant gymnast in the world. She may be the most dominant athlete in the world.

[milesgmorales-archive]

#dedicated to the gram

bonus, the result:

[nicolas-px]

I’ve got a

jra for my jitties

and some

janties for my jussy

[busket]

This has to stop.

[thelastasgaardian]

Why are there pockets in the janties?

[nicolas-px]

Obviously to hold my

jondoms

[nyctosaurid]

can’t believe ‘coco from foster’s home for imaginary friends was born from a starving child’s dying dream as they spiraled into desperate insanity after getting stranded on an island’ isn’t an edgy theory but something the creator just casually brought up on his deviantart

[nyctosaurid]

(Coco is a bit complicated to explain but I’ll try. As you might know from “Good Wilt Hunting” Coco was found on a deserted island. Well I based her look on the images her creator was exposed to on the island. Her head is the palm trees that dominated the landscape. Her body is the crashed wreckage of the plane which brought her creator to the island. Her beak is a deflated rubber life raft. And her orange feet represent the sunburned feet that her creator stared at all day. Her name Coco comes from the Coconuts that her creator ate everyday. Her odd personality derives from the fact that her creator wasn’t mentally all quite there from being on the island for so long. Phew!!)

[owowatsdiss]

[girlimsotired]

[rengarseraphine]

[seraphicdarliing]

[medusagirlfriend-blog]

everyone please tell me a lyric that made you go insane when you first heard it

[kaedyn]

tell your boyfriend

if he says he’s got beef

that i’m a vegetarian

and i ain’t

FUCKIN SCARED OF HIM

[dreamyfilms]

i have a question for you: what’s one (1) thing you dislike about pride and prejudice (2005)?

[manetsmodels]

It ends…

[dreamyfilms]

that’s a very good point! but the correct answer is actually this: 

[astarlingdiscovery]

Tumblr blue through the years.

[drearyhours]

computer illiteracy pride flag

[so-subordinate]

[grungegoths]

Everybody pause your discussions about white men in androgynous clothing for a second and look at Ranveer Singh, a brown bollywood actor absolutely SMASHING it in these outfits for Vogue India 

Hes wearing a whole dress with BANGLES if yall cant tell

Things he did?That 

Just look

Amazing

[gamerthirst]

This new Shaggy meme is kinda scaring me because Shaggy was my first crush and my whole family remembers me having long drawn out conversations with him like he was in the room, but it was just 6 year old me speaking into the void to Shaggy. Now I’m worried that the void may have talked back after all these years in the form of this meme and I have no way to stop it.

[doctuhwhom]

[b4bysitter-deactivated20210208]

shout out to ace and aro kids who are constantly bombarded with the opinion that sex and romantic love are directly connected to living a happy life.

[b4bysitter-deactivated20210208]

Y’all are just reblogging this at the speed of sound tonight

[beaniebaneenie]

Since it’s almost valentines day, and this message is about to get hammered in even more, reblogging this again.

[pervocracy]

child handling for the childless nurse

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old.  Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth - 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal.  Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 - 2: Hates you.  Hates you so much.  You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them.  There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 - 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe.  Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them.  Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 - 10: Really cool, actually.  I did not realize kids were this cool.  Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.  Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 - 14: Extremely variable.  Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other.  At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult.  Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers.  (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

Age 15 - 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience.  Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care.  Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there.  At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny.  And they’ll want one.  Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.

[mikkeneko]

This is also a pretty excellent guide to writing  kids of various ages