Existence @sorbee - Tumblr Blog

the thing about that weird stuff americans call cheese is that if you heat it a little it becomes an excellent burger condiment despite its failings in every other area. such is the fate of the american cultural product

lootpuppy-deactivated20260205

the American 'cheese' slice was engineered by our best scientific minds (all borrowed from Germany ofc) to melt perfectly onto a burger and for nothing else. Its only purpose is to compliment the one true product of the American people. The hamburger. (also borrowed from Germany)

annelidarchive

reeling a little at the implication that the Kraft Single was a product of operation paperclip

konoko

in my horny and slut era (on the verge of mental breakdown, begging to be held and never abandoned ever again)

savethelifeofmychild

once i read everything on earth then i think ill be prepared to write

wizard0rb

owldude

dragon-in-a-fez

complimented a cashier on her turtle pin this morning and she said "oh thanks, I am a little bit of a Turtle Person" with the carefully contained energy of Cookie Monster telling you he's mildly fond of chocolate chips

I hope she and the multiple tons of turtle merch she definitely has at home are having a wonderful day

wtf-drawing

i love this metaphor so much i drew it

boringkate

Murder is scary bc a lot of video games are about doing murders, so if someone does murders irl then it could lead to them becoming a gamer. You're literally becoming desensitized to gaming when you do murders.

corrucyst

dude, this is really scary, and liminal as well. It's like the bathrooms

caats

dysfunctionalroomba

natalieironside

My boyfriend was showing me his cat and I leaned over to kiss the cat on his soft little baby head and he went "meow" and scrambled away because I'd been wearing my headphones and I accidentally jabbed him with the microphone.

And I said "Damn, this is exactly like in the Iliad"

rebels-cairn

#explanation: this references the scene where Hektor the prince of troy goes to his wife after a battle and leans in to kiss his son #(who is still a baby and being held in andromache's arms) #but his son cringes away in fear of his father's battle helmet #it's a gut wrenching scene about how war dehumanizes you and separates you from the people you love #this interpretation implies that being a gamer is analogous