Absolute Unit

This is my blog for random stuff. Im Soup | DNI if nsfw or a terf 24 | They/He

[victorfrankensteinsuggestions]

Today's suggestion is: Soup

[bgm05]

I miss pjackks jellybean era

[pjackk]

I miss da era where u passed out in bath tub cuz u sneezed to hard and fell your ass right on the holiday dinnerfish and it got scared and jumped in the toilet and swam down da drain

[bgm05]

You promised not to tell anyone about that

[contemptible-scoundrel]

[dog-teeth]

normal way to think about making art

[real-language-facts]

language is literally sooooo words as fuck

[anglerfl3sh]

University really is about looking at the worst pdf known to man huh

[anglerfl3sh]

the professor uploaded this sideways. I'm sparing you at least that bit

[shieldfoss]

Image from the best pdf I ever saw, [Elliot 2025]:

[Elliot 2050] - The Utterly Unhinged Elamo-Minoan Hypothesis https://www.academia.edu/128559713

[hymneminium]

[annajustdraws]

🦄*⁠.⁠✧

[dethpicablewabbit]

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

dear future me,

thank you for not giving up when you really wanted to. thank you for trying your best to keep going even at the lowest points. thank you for giving me the time to have so many new experiences.

[omtai]

They just don’t release the hounds like they used to

[hobohobgoblim]

in my day someone just let the dogs out. never did know who.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

you’re trying? that’s what matters and yes, it really does matter

[rioblitzle]

i go to the shop and I ask if they have any raspberries. they say no, they used to sell raspberries, but they haven't had any in stock in the last 15 years. I ask if there's somewhere else I can go to buy raspberries. They say no, with confidence and pride, they're the only shop around who has ever sold or will ever sell raspberries. Other shops might sell other fruit, sure, but they have a monopoly on all raspberries forever. I ask if they're possibly planning on them selling them again in future? they say they can't tell me that.

on the way home, I encounter someone eating raspberries. I ask and they tell me that they grow their own, they got some seeds from the shop back in The Raspberry Days and kept them. They take me to a field of many beautiful raspberry plants and invite me to pick my own, they're free for all the town to pick whenever they'd like.

someone comes up behind us. It's the shop manager, President of Nintendo Shuntaro Furukawa. he hatefully throws a bob-omb that blows up and kills both of us instantly for stealing 200 trillion dollars worth of potential Raspberry Shop That Doesn't Do Raspberries Anymore profits that they weren't making and then he turns around to the camera with a big thumbs up and says don't do piracy or something ok please

[ankle-beez]

[normalmammal]

I’m so pro abortion I feel insane hearing any other take on it

[normalmammal]

Even lefties I know will eventually concede to some situation where they think it’s right to force someone to carry a child against their will as if that’s not one of the most inhumane and cruel situations to put someone in regardless of any other factors

[draculaflowdaily]

The pussy has its own time signature.

[niceinchnails]

[molabuddy]

?????????