sweaty guy in my house

sparrow | 24 | ze/zir | i'm here to have a good time icon by katkitters on twitter!

[oplishin]

okay but chess terminology is like. you pinned your opponent's hung knight and now you can mate? oh im sure

[oplishin]

OH I'M SURE

[spiribia]

I like when the bus stops directly in front of you out of the line of waiting people and opens its doors. Chosen by the dragon

[icarusdiesatdawn]

I hate this post. Ever since I read it I can't help but think "chosen by the dragon" whenever the bus stops in front of me or "denied by the dragon" when it doesn't. Every. single. time. That's a minimum of ten times a week. Do you know how annoying that is

[risk-repeater]

this job market is a fucking nightmare

[texasbama]

TED LASSO | Season 4 Teaser for @5chatzi

[transgenderization]

cursed items are kinda awesome

[iamoutofideas]

you can’t let it take over you. you can’t.

[transgenderization]

has anyone else noticed that cursed items are kinda awesomee ive been thingking theyre kinda awesom recently

[commodore64]

[d-adpool]

not putting my whole pussy into it today lads. you're getting my left labia at best

[haaarpb]

i love both my beautiful daughters

[corrodedparadox]

S line (the S stands for salmon)

Prints

[powerbottomblake]

i think when we used to point out that a story didn't need a sex scene what we meant was "this story reduces its women to mere sex objects and gives them no interiority so the sex scenes are gratuitous and geared towards the male gaze" it wasn't the sex that bothered us per se it was the objectification of female characters while givig them little to no consequence to the overall story but nowadays people mean "sex is icky and gross and has no merit to ever be portrayed in our arts which should be good and pure and never ever make ME feel discomfort" and it's like. i bet a bowl of unfrosted flakes looks real good to you rn

[mino2aur]

cybertrucks are so amazing to me. sure it may be unsafe to drive and unimaginably expensive and ugly as shit but at least everyone who sees you driving it thinks youre a nazi

[gentlyorbiting]

i'm the guy who writes the books that the protagonist in supernatural horror movies frantically reads somewhere in act ii. job's pretty easy. lot of "legends of vampires have recurred all throughout human history" and "demonologists agree that the quickest way to un-summon a demon is to trap it in a cursed object". no citations of course; they don't pay me citation money. i had to learn html back in the early aughts when everyone started seeking their supernatural info on websites they found via top search engines like FINDLER and WEBSIGHT but that's died down now which is great because i didn't have it in me to pick up css. currently working on a new book about horses that are evil. it's called HORSES THAT ARE EVIL in all caps so the protagonist can find it quickly to yank off the library shelf. it will be published 35 years ago.

[kickmuncher3]

I had a dream that I went to heaven and heaven had its own heaven-exclusive tv shows that were written and produced there in heaven and they showed me the most popular show in heaven and it was this really beautiful drama and, at the end of the episode, the credits said “Created by Mike Ehrmantraut” and they were like “oh yeah. fictional characters who die in earth media go to real heaven” and I’m like “sure but mike did some pretty fucked up stuff, wouldn’t he go to hell?” and they’re like “no, all the fucked up things he did were fictional. people only get judged for the real things they do and the only thing mike really did was bring joy to millions of viewers” and i think that’s beautiful

[hawkpartys]

it must feel good as fuck to walk on the surface tension of water as a bug

[pjackk]

The crazy part about pain is that it actually hurts alot

[fidelcostco]

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

[fidelcostco]

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

[fidelcostco]

oh this is my post

[oluransom-deactivated20201026]

you’re laughing. i told you a joke and you’re laughing. i love you