Are you staying awake for the lift off tonight?

Part Time Stormtrooper and Tokyo Drift Apologist. Slipshod Kick It

[axolotls4eva]

Dude when my social battery runs out there’s like no warning. I don’t get the 20% warnings it’s just I’ll be enjoying my time and then all of a sudden if one more word is spoken I’m going to kill myself and everyone around me.

[madrell-deactivated20250621]

Genova, Italy by Paolo Abate

[sexhaver]

[langernameohnebedeutung]

...do little German boy meme enthusiasts even know that our reblog button looks like this-

[doubleca5t]

oh mein gott, zis vebsite is full of scheißepfosten

[boydykedevo]

hate bluetooth headphones that talk. you are a machine you may NOT speak to me

[boydykedevo]

when headphones beep sadly because their battery is low: oh you poor thing :( let me plug you in :(

when headphones say "battery low" in a human voice: Who Are You Stop Interrupting My Music

[joey-wheeler-official]

i’m enough of a nerd to see when a weapon would be impractical but not enough of a nerd to give a shit

[curiooftheheart]

Scythe Wielder: *Shows up in a media*

Me: You know, scythes were designed for reaping grain, not combat. Yes it is bladed so it could be a weapon but not a very efficient one.

Scythe Wielder: *Does that badass scythe stuff*

Me: Hot damn that’s cool.

[tysonfurybattlepass]

the only bad part about going to the zoo is hearing adult men confidently tell their kids or gfs objectively incorrect information about the animals we’re looking at and having to remain silent. do u know the restraint it takes to say nothing when a grown adult man tells someone “falcons are in the same family as eagles” next to me? no babygirl. no.

[tysonfurybattlepass]

fyi falcons are not closely related to other birds of prey (hawks/eagles/buzzards). falcons are actually parrots that minmaxed for a glass cannon dps build.

[tysonfurybattlepass]

assault parrots, if you will

[dankmemeuniversity]

[lazorsandparadox]

This is actually a really good example of why internet of things is a security risk. The hackers couldn't have exploited the thermometer as an entry point if it didnt connect to the fucking internet to start with

[kingfucko]

[lmao @sweetenby​]

[gwendolyn-of-loxley]

You're telling me an Ocean Eleven'd this casino?

[tommyswiseau]

[wereralph]

I remember Brennan saying “laws are just structured threats made by the ruling socioeconomic class” during an episode of D20 and we truly just had to stan immediately

[teathattast]

[legend-tripper]

[specsanddrumsandrocknroll]

Or, for the Brits...

[dailyfoodlovers]

Stop fucking calling me mommy you have to say Yes Chef or I can't cum

[sweetsweetbumblebee]

im sorry i said "awooga" when u took off ur clothes do u still wanna fuck?

[thyrell]

we talk about the dangers of needing to be the smartest guy in the room but i think even more deadly is the urge to be the FUNNIEST guy in the room.

[thyrell]

the problem with being a guy who is always doing a bit is that if your bits arent literally always funny 100% of the time some body is going to kill you. and you are going to deserve it

[specsanddrumsandrocknroll]

I rejoined Tumblr after like 5 years and wow this place is a prison 😅 hello to all my mutuals, sorry I don't remember who u are X

[radiofreederry]

Did you see the musk breeding kink article

Yo no hablo ingles

[argumate]

hell yeah! I never meet any hot chicks in ##USER_CITY##, it’s a total backwater!

[adhoption]

take me down to the ##USER_CITY## where the grass is ##COLOUR## and the girls are ##USER_PREFERENCE##

[funnytwittertweets]

[ihatepissvortex]