
ellievsbear
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Game of Thrones Daily
AnasAbdin
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sheepfilms

JBB: An Artblog!
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Misplaced Lens Cap
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
almost home
KIROKAZE
trying on a metaphor

blake kathryn

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
we're not kids anymore.
Cosmic Funnies
One Nice Bug Per Day
dirt enthusiast
seen from Denmark
seen from Netherlands

seen from United Kingdom
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seen from United States
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seen from United States

seen from Portugal
seen from United States
seen from Germany
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seen from Netherlands
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@spidantic
new security trends
oopsie woopsie, that two week contract you did for just barely enough extra money to cover your overdue bills by the end of last month, well, that might let you breath out, so we just have to make a deduction from your social security allowance to make sure you fall back behind on bills again this months
sometimes i see an opinion i disagree with, and from a combination of wanting to keep up appearances, avoid flak, and cut to the heart of the issue, i draft a series of increasingly abstract responses, eventually culminating in typing out "falsehoods aren't true", which, in a perfect act of autofellatio, deletes itself
They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard
Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex
TFW I'm an early hominid and a rival walks up to me and attempts to snap my penis bone clean in half but I don't even have one
it is very instructive to play both silent hill and resident evil videogames because they are very similar except for how silent hill is good and resident evil is stupid. it helps you figure out what is stupid in a video game and what is good
for example, in silent hill games, you are confronted with many weird baroque puzzles you have to solve to proceed, because that is the dark and creepy and confrontational nature of the world you are in. in resident evil games, you are confronted with weird baroque puzzles you have to solve because apparently, separate from and unrelated to the ongoing zombie apocalypse, the raccoon city designers designed the subway station map so that if you insert a red jewel into the correct diamond shaped recess, a drawer opens that contains a live hand grenade
Nothing Doing no. 64
blunt force traumacore edit
I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off
so there's basically two reasons he would need to do this and they're both funny
his magical honda unsummoned while he was in Walmart; this means it's not even a real car and could look like anything and he picked or was forced somehow to pick a Honda Accord
his normal honda was left someplace while he came to Walmart by other means, and he can teleport the car to him more easily than he can teleport himself places
there's also the idea that he drove to walmart in his honda accord, and then when he got out he either forgot where he parked or wanted to skip like 20 seconds of walking so he just summons it right in front of the door
To not have to find a parking space, most wizards keep their Honda Accords in a extradimensional oubliette when not driving. This also saves on garage space.
Clearly the wizard had to summon his Honda Accord because someone stole it while he was shopping. The carjacker is now tumbling violently down the freeway like a source engine ragdoll
(forgetting the word “touchscreen”) my mom’s new car has an amazing digital surface
NOOO I FORGOT TO POST THIS FOR MOTHER'S DAY
Started laughing so hard at the idea of spending $100,000 and 7 years on my hentai wife that I started choking on my own postnasal drip