they deserve to wear suits and eat cake

No title available

JBB: An Artblog!
RMH

@theartofmadeline
Misplaced Lens Cap
DEAR READER
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

Love Begins
styofa doing anything

#extradirty
Today's Document
YOU ARE THE REASON
Cosmic Funnies
cherry valley forever
art blog(derogatory)
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
i don't do bad sauce passes

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

if i look back, i am lost
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from South Korea

seen from T1
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from Estonia
seen from United States
seen from Finland

seen from Malaysia

seen from France
seen from Germany
seen from Germany
seen from Italy
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
@spookyscaryfox
they deserve to wear suits and eat cake
hypothetical titles if everyone had become a full lyctor in the trials:
harrowhark gideon, saint of grace
silas colum, saint of honor
dulcinea protesilaus, saint of aid
palamedes camilla, saint of perfection
abigail magnus, saint of love
isaac jeannemary, saint of passion
we already have ianthe naberius's saint name, so for this alternate timeline she's ianthe coronabeth, saint of charm
judith marta, saint of constance
saur for these I mostly wanted to fit the theme of "title is chosen for the cavalier and ends up being wildly ironic for the necromancer," and my rationales are as follows:
saint of grace
gideon's relationship to harrow is all about wanting to give herself to her, to grace her with everything she's got. their defining moment comes when harrow gives gideon permission to drown her and gideon hugs her instead, loving and forgiving her when she has every reason not to, an act of grace. I've seen sacrifice or devotion around as saint names for harrow, and those also fit gideon, but I think "grace" hits the irony note a little more given how fiercely judgemental and grudge-holding harrow can be.
saint of honor
colum's one sticking point of resistance against silas: clinging to the honor of his word. and silas would looooove to call himself saint of honor, but, well. yknow.
saint of aid
protesilaus often functioned more as dulcinea's personal aide than her knight, and he was one of the first to volunteer to follow nonius to fight the RB in the river. not hugely ironic a name for actual dulcie, she's not particularly un-helpful, but she was always so constricted by her life circumstances that I doubt she's ever been able to conceptualize herself as adding to anyone else's lives rather than taking.
saint of perfection
camilla is meticulous. her choice of weapon is data driven, she put that skull back together chip by chip, and she doesn't let go, it's her one thing. she does nothing by half-measures. ironic for palamedes because he's super into the idea of chasing perfection and always wants to think he's only just missed it, leading him to very imperfect results.
saint of love
we know why magnus would be dubbed as loving before anything else. only really ironic for abigail in this alternate timeline because she'd only be called it if she gave in and ate her husband's life.
saint of passion
jeannemary's terror after the fifth die and her drive to run after him after isaac dies are both expressions of intensely personal emotional extremes, aka passion. ironic for isaac because he's not the "stupid" one, between the two of them he's believed to be the one who's cautious and careful.
saint of charm
coronabeth is charming. we know this. she's charming in the way of a house stateswoman and charming in the way that make insurrectionist cells want to promote her immediately. and ianthe? is made entirely of creepy slime.
saint of constance
I tried on a few more military-esque sounding words to represent marta, but none of them really worked. she's thoroughly disciplined and a career soldier, yes, but she's not an "ate the duelling rulebook for breakfast" style fighter like naberius, she's looser and quicker from practical experience, and she went a little bit mad with grief briefly when she thought she'd seen judith get murdered. I think she's less rigid and more stable, she'll do stupid crazy stuff like anyone else but she'll do them calmly and consistently. ironic for judith because she's been in her wretched losing era for years now and probably hasn't been physically or emotionally stable for more than a few hours at a time since canaan house.
god YES.
excellent, well fitting to the characters.
and to add to the injury - we know little of eye colors of people outside of the third, sixth and ninth. and in this scenario we will learn the cavaliers' colors but not the necromancers', exactly the same way with the original lyctors.
also, to think of how certain titles will become full names for some of them, the way mercymorn is mercy but also joy - as a way for others to mock, to console, to remind eachother. as a way for john stamp claim on them.
harrow, after admitting to the worst things she had done and that had been done to her, will slowly erode into the grace to john.
dulcie will learn to respond to aid as it's certainly shorter to say than even dulcie.
abigail will get called love by augustine, have a quick bloody duel with him nobody will see, and then proceed as if it doesn't hurt.
isaac will soon get called passion then pash (!) by abigail and later by everyone else.
the name honor will be shot at silas as poisoned arrow that he will not acknowledge.
ianthe will get called charm only sarcastically for eons to come.
hundreds of years later, house people will genuinely believe that judith's actual name is constance. she will not protest.
palamedes will refuse to answer to perfection to the point where even john will forget that title. harrow and ianthe won't though.
Blue collar men will fix anything by themselves. Robert in the heart of him is a blue collar man. Have you ever seen him try to fix something? He's masterful, he is efficient, he is competent! But have you ever seen that man try to get medical care? No!
Like a farmer who's been plowed through by a tractor, the only reason you will ever him in the hospital willingly is if his wife( Flambae being the wife) notched at him enough to go and get checked out.
He will strap anything down to anything. Ratchet straps, criss cross, slap it and say "this ain't going nowhere". Meanwhile his busted knee is lucky if it gets a brace from CVS.
Robert will secure a load like the department of transportation is personally judging him. But his own spine is held together by ibuprofen and denial.
He'll rebuild the Mecha Man suit from scratch, but if Flambae suggests physician therapy? "I don't need all that".
He doesn't believe in preventative care, he believes in walk it off.
Robert's back goes out more than him and flambae do.
He doesn't have pain he just has tightness. He treats his body like a job site in 1990. No safety equipment, no inspections, just will deal with this later. Meanwhile the suit is aligned, Flambae's car is running smooth, beef is slimming down. Robert himself? One sneeze away from structural failure.
Y’all gotta stop leaving these things in the tags
"My name is Cytherea the First.” She said. “Lyctor of the Great Resurrection, the seventh saint to serve the King Undying. I am a necromancer and I am a cavalier. I am the vengeance of the ten billion. I have come back home to kill the Emperor and burn his Houses. And Gideon the Ninth… This begins with you.”
Damn Jod really pissed off all the baddies didn’t he?
My theatre currently has this amazing set up on stage, and when I saw it I immediately thought of the 7th house, so I speed built the seafoam robe in three days 😂 Cytherea’s name is a call back to Aphrodite and the birth of Venus so I added shell and pearl elements to the cos and I think it turned out well! The nightgown is a replica of Lucille Sharpe’s from Crimson Peak that I made for Halloween last year but didn’t get to wear, maybe this year!
This was a self shoot so the angles are kinda bland but I think the set more than makes up for it; I just wish I knew how to run the light board so I could have had some of the cool stage lights up but it is what it is!
Tumblr gets these first, but my insta has more of my projects! Enjoy 😜
photo number 5 is how i envision cyth now and forever, thank you very much, even if if textually she had something much less complicated on.
the colors really pop off, the sash is a lovely contrast and the general vibe is of old painting.
“...So I dropped to my knees here, right … I scooped dirt into my mouth … ate until I vomited. I gathered up the bloody earth … I realised you were too much for me. This is the problem, the incorporation, this is the hardest part … It’s the human instinct, to take. When you burn your thumb, you stick it in your mouth, right? And there was still too much of me that was just a human being”
- John 1:20, Nona the Ninth
Comic I had the opportunity to do for @thelockedtombcfp and @theriverbeyond! Thank you <3
I really want a time travel fix-it-ish Dispatch fic where, instead of Robert, it’s the entire Z-Team that somehow gets yeeted into the past pre-Robert-getting-blown-up.
The reasonable thing to do would be to sit down and think things through, but it’s the Z-Team - they decide to just fucking wing it (try to predict THAT Shroud). They have one (1) future dispatcher and current disaster hero to find and kidnap for his own good and one (1) statistics-obsessed, jackass supervillain to murder and leave in a convenient ditch. (That’s a joke, obviously - Coupé is far too professional to leave a body in a ditch. Especially when Malevola and her straight-to-Hell-portal-creating sword are right there.)
Robert does not understand how or when a bunch of theoretically reformed villains imprinted on him like a gaggle of feral ducklings. They keep breaking into his apartment and leaving him furniture and hanging up pictures. Robert has a rug now. Robert hasn’t owned a rug since he sold his childhood home. Invisigal has stuck glow-in-the-dark stars to his ceiling in obscene shapes. They take turns smuggling food into his fridge, for fuck’s sake, and keep insisting that breaking into his apartment is like the methadone version of robbing a bank and doesn’t he want to keep helping them on their journey towards heroism? Robert isn’t even sure that any of them have ever even robbed a bank (unless you count Sonar’s crypto schemes). He’s also pretty sure he’s seen them taking turns throwing darts at a picture of Mecha Man Astral even though Robert was the one who arrested Flambae. What the fuck is going on?!?
yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-
did she just win.
I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!
wait wait wait stew goblin wait
get ready for the wedding
Flambae's hilarious flirting disasters
Flambae's charismatic, full of confidence, and does well enough to have a couple of hook-ups, because he well and truly believes he is the best and deserves a choice of the best. So you'd think, as an overall confident guy, he'd be able to sweet talk the guy he's genuinely interested in, but the moment his brain processes that he actually likes Robert and wants to try being serious with him, his minds goes through a whole factory reset.
Suddenly, he can't be smooth in his flirting and, though doesn't stammer like Wetboy, he does say things he doesn't mean to, tries taking them back, and gets all flustered. Like come on, he called him a bitch as greetings, his flirts turned into insults, and the one time, the ONE TIME, Robert gave him an in when he told him all he had to do to get a date with him was ask (practically rolled out the red carpet with the sign "Here you go, ask and you shall receive") his damn mouth just said fuck you and said, "You're not my type." Alice smacked him like ten times for ruining the easiest chance he was ever gonna get.
So yeah, if his mouth isn't going to cooperate with his need to woo the guy, he decided action would be easier. So he did his absolute best during his calls, cocky as fuck. He cooked lunches AND dinners for the guy. Hell, he even started being nicer to Wetbitc- Waterboy, even took him under his wing and all that.
He seemed to have done something good enough, because Robert absolutely noticed and kept telling him how much of a good job he did (say thanks, say glad to help, say something POSITIVE!) only for him to say, "Duh, bitch." He needed to ask his therapist if it was normal or if he did have to take meds with how fucking stupid he was acting. Fuck.
Anyways, he's trying. He made fucking scripts at this point, needing to pause before answering whatever Robert asks or says. Sometimes he managed to land a perfect hit (he didn't call him a bitch for a whole day, fuck yeah!) sometimes he needed to tape his mouth at moment's notice (he called him a bitch and insulted him again🤦).
But yeah, it was a working progress. He's pretty sure the rest of the team noticed too, what with them making it super fucking obvious ("Aw, did daddy Robert call you a good boy?" fuck off Vis).
When he finally, finally asked him out for dinner, Robert actually cracked a smile, like a genuine, pleased smile, and that was when Flambae accidentally triggered SDN's smoke alarm and had to help Robert with the paperwork he ruined (seriously, SDN needed to use waterproof paper, they have loads of other superheroes around, he is not the first to ruin paperwork, shut up).
------------
Three posts in one day.... I am so going to fail but the Flambert worm is in my brain but I am so supposed to be reviewing🤦🤦🤦 enjoy!
thinking about Flambae sometimes overdoing his flames and pushing himself too hard and he can’t come down from it.
it’s a mission and he’s pushing himself to the brink and his entire body is wildly aflame.
but even when all of the assailants are burned to unrecognizable crisps and his team is calling him in, he can’t extinguish himself.
he just keeps getting brighter and hotter and he’s nearly blinding against the sky. even Prism can’t look at him without shielding her eyes, and that scares her the most because she hasn’t had to manage this level of loss of control from him. she hates that she can’t help him, only hear her own voice get more shrill as he glows with the intensity of a second sun.
the team keeps trying to call him, their worry spiking as Flambae just keeps rising and his fire’s nearly blue with its heat. even Waterboy’s abilities evaporate nearly a foot from him.
Flambae knows he’s losing it. he’s terrified of his lack of control, that he’s finally feeling the fire and feeling it hurt. and it finally fucking burns.
and no, no, no he wants to live. after all this time he finally learned that he wants to live and now he’s getting that taken away from him by his own powers.
but most of all, he’s terrified that he’ll hurt someone else. that he’ll take from someone else.
he flies up. he doesn’t have a destination, just a goal to get away. to calm himself down forcibly with the freezing air before he burns himself up or lights the very air around him on fire. he ascends so far, so fast, that most of them who can fly can’t even follow him.
Robert immediately launches after him, tailing the comet that streaks straight up into the stratosphere. he ignores the warnings that start incrementally popping up, temperature and shields and altitude. he pushes himself equally in turn, determined to not let Flambae out of his sight.
there’s a solid coat of frost that threatens to freeze through the mech’s booster rockets before Flambae’s shape in the sky finally blinks out, and he’s hurtling towards the earth.
Robert dives for him, as his mech protests the sudden movement. he catches Flambae in his arms, still smoldering, his heat radiating so high that Robert can feel it through the mech’s armor.
despite the new warnings screaming at him, he holds Flambae as close as he can, cradling his burning form gently, as gently as the mech will allow him. he takes his time descending, monitoring every single twitch and shaky breath from the unconscious man.
he doesn’t realize how fast his heart is beating—that one of the warnings was coming from his own life monitoring system—until he’s touched down and paramedics are prying Flambae from his hands. he doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath Flambae is shut into the back of an emergency vehicle, out of his sight. he gasps for air inside the cockpit and slams the hatch open, Malevola and Punch Up having to shake him into breathing normally.
there are deep scorch marks—now long cooled—left on the mech’s hands, grooves indenting the shape of Flambae’s limp body into the metal.
it takes him a while to repair those. because every time he touches those, he remembers and his chest tightens unbearably.
when Flambae is finally cleared for visitors, Robert is one of the first ones at his door. he doesn’t know why he’s afraid to touch him, but he is.
not because he thinks Flambae might burn him if he did.
but rather because he thinks Flambae might burn up, burn so bright he disappears right in front of him.
Robert realizes in that moment just how afraid he is of losing him.
Working on a Dispatch au where Robert is part Fae and it mostly goes the same as Canon (up to a certain point) except Malevola is stressed af the whole time bc she's clocked Robert and is wondering what scheme he's up to or if he's some kind of extreme attempt by the higher ups to control them. Meanwhile, Robert is completely unaware he's part Fae.
Anyway here's a snippet I wrote for it, takes place post bar fight which is when the larger Canon divergences start happening.
Snippet under the cut
Robert had a bed at every port. Or rather a lot of notches on his non-existent bedpost.
Not because he's a slut, or because he's a player, or because he liked to pull them by being Mecha Man, no.
It's because after five, ten, fifteen fucking years as Mecha Man there were only so many dead bodies and only so much loneliness he could surround himself with. Only so much he could deny himself.
Robert is selfish, and carnal, and a warm body next to him was the best cure for when he was feeling down about not being able to save someone. About not being good enough. About not getting up at every fight and opportunity like his father demanded he did.
So he was very well used to finding himself a warm body to stave off the chill in his bones when the loneliness hit a little too hard and all he could see when looking down at his hands was blood and failure.
It's his coping mechanism. He's perfected it.
And over the years, he's graced many, many, many a bed, wall, table, couch and backseat.
A green room in a club some years ago. Where the singer was vivacious and bright, two toned hair split down the middle. And he couldn't help but wonder if the carpet matched the drapes. His cold fingers warmed up by her hole a few hours later. It did.
A locker room of a fight club. Pushed down against the mats and moaning like a bitch in heat, or as much as he was able to really. What with tan thighs wrapped around his shoulders and a beard tickling his own legs as two bodies made him warm for the first time in months.
A quick thrust against a thin body before him, hands gripping nothingness and a bizarre sight of his cock constricted by something he couldn't see.
A conference in a Marriott on Ventura. Breathless cries in his ear that definitely messed him up a bit more then he hoped for but still felt worth it. With both their suits pulled apart just enough to grind against each other in a quick and filthy manner. Robert shaking his head in denial when a baggie of something white is pushed between them, his wall mate shrugging and then smearing a thin line of product on Mecha Man's shoulder to snort.
A resounding beat of a thousand feet walking by, Robert clutching the balcony as a thick tail wraps around his waist to pull him further onto a member spearing him so very well, he throws his head back to rest against the tall woman's breasts.
Warmth enveloping him from every side, pounding that shakes the entire car, the smell of smoke in his nose and a sting of heat strong enough to make him close his eyes. That Pontiac firebird had a very roomy backseat.
After crushing the mech and subsequently his legacy, waking up to 4 months of coma, getting recruited in the flirtiest manner ever, and reuniting with his childhood babysitter and friend, it really is just the cherry on top of a cake for Robert to stare at the faces of his hookups looking back at him from the screen.
"Can I quit yet?"
had an absolutely heinous day at work and began to wonder—as one does—could harrow survive this. so
could harrowhark nonagesimus survive a day at your job
Yes
No
Depends on the day
And to add on to the ‘times where Mecha Man is rude back to interviewers’ there’s also way more moments for videos titled ‘times where Mecha Man ‘rizzed’ the interviewer’ because you can’t tell me that this hero didn’t give nice or newly hired reporters his best smile, biggest doe eyes, mixed in with that smooth deep voice? Swooning, fucking swooning okay? They all are, men or women.
example 1: press conference near his debut, fresh faced interviewer who is not that much older than robert himself at the moment eagerly puts microphone in MM hands to hear his answer about his efforts to help with recent uptick in cybercrimes. MM smiles and gives the poor dude look under his lashes instead of, you know, a simple thank you. interviewer blushes bright crimson and stammers a bit for the rest of the interview.
example 2: journalist for the new paper, ambitious but kind, the one with good questions, catches MM after big fight with Brainteaser copy cat.
'any comments on the general area crime levels? you are the first hero to appear and the last one to leave, you know!'
'oh, nothing notable. this is just an outlier, really. and, uh', he stalls for second, seemingly gathering himself, then solidifies his face in a slow grateful smile, 'thanks, but you often are the second one right after me, so, not much you don't know already is to tell, though i will ask you to be more careful next time. not a lot of good journalists out there to lose them to a flying debris, you know?'
for the record, she's at least ten years his senior, and a mother of two. doesn't stop her from flushing and squeaking out her next question in a voice that will embarass her for the next ten years.
that man leaves as many crushes across the repoters as crushed kneecaps. not the least because of that, many papers on him are very polarised: either praise or criticism, not a lot in between.
At first blush Flambae kind of gives "conceal don't feel" or maybe even "I have to not think too hard or linger in my feelings for too long or else they might cause my powers to flare out of control", or perhaps "I'm too macho to discredit myself by admitting I have feelings"
... but then he goes around offhandedly admitting to a propensity for self-sabotage, exposing his whole chest in a simultaneous vain display and what may well be a metaphorical representation of emotional vulnerability in his design. he invites golem to dry flowers with him, likes helping kids, passes up team drinks to attend his niece's dance recital, and comes back after a day of fuming after learning Robert is Mecha Man to admit he's ready to move forward trying to get along with Robert in a very self-aware way???
like there are so many ways "therapy speak" has been overdone, and some of Flambae's Episode 6 return feels like it's tapping into that for humorous purposes—but with all these details in concert, Flambae just feels like a complex guy who has actually purposefully done work on himself to be better. he has self-awareness of his flaws. that's so fucking cool of him I'm so proud of him i bet he worked so so hard on that. despite the horrors (being passively suicidal) ❤️🩹🔥✨️
if i ever write a fic for dispatch i will make sure to expand on how everyone costume starts to have more mechaman blue™ and maybe orange color in it. as a show to how robert changed them as people and heroes.
like visi at some point ditches that pink jacket and goes for something purple, closer to indigo even.
flambae upgrades at some point (and MAYBE COVERS UP HIS VITAL ORGANS INTEAD OF FLAUNTING HIS ABS AND CHEST) but instead of the base black he goes for dark blue, so dark the the color shows up only on the light.
prism upgrades too (and her glove starts to match her shoes for once), and the color is much closer to blue instead of turquoise.
malevola picks up jean shorts of a darker hue.
sonar has an already blue suit, but his tie veers closer to an orange instead of red.
coupe has dark blue sneaking in too, but i struggle to visualise how.
punch up's shirt is much closer to blue adjacent color instead of green.
golem doesn't have costume to alter so.
yes Flambae should be the team’s personal heater, but additionally? Flambae cuddling the team when extremely sleepy/burned out
It only happens after a long mission, eyelashes heavy, and looking for the first available surface to rest on.
Sometimes, that’s Punch Up. Buried under Flambae’s chest, while he’s flopped over, arms over Colm like a personal pillow, breath soft.
They’re in an official meeting. Coop asks if she should smack him awake. No one does.
Sometimes, it’s Prism, who’s now got a 6’4 unit dropping over her like nothing. It’s like a tiger who doesn’t know it’s not a cat. “Hey, Pri.”
Prism, currently wheezing, getting crushed under cuddle muscle, but she will NOT say anything.
It hurts the heart, to wake Flambae when he’s like that. “Hi baby,, ignore that, that’s just my lung—“
Most of all, it’s people who can carry him— Phen, Golem, Sonar, — even if he’s definitely filming and using it as blackmail later. “I could’ve scammed him so hard. So hard. God damn it, redemption arcs.”
He tries not to do it around Robert.
Mainly, because he highly doubts the guy would be comfortable with that. The team is different. Somehow, everything that’s not Robert is different.
But, if Flambae’s on a mission, and his stamina happens to drops unexpectedly.
And he falls deep asleep in Mecha Man’s hand, then. Well.