Spoon Eyed Glory

90's kid. Probably a cryptid. Definitely not several geese stacked on top of each other in a tranchcoat. I write fanfiction @justalotoffanfiction

[whitepeopletwitter]

[blanketfortarchitect]

[rebloggingistheenemy]

[ostolero]

[missandryifyourenasty]

I often think about that post that was a fake dating profile for a cat that was all about chickens, like wanting someone with posable thumbs for opening chickens.

[notogdenjesse]

This is one my favourite things the internet has ever made.

[missandryifyourenasty]

!!!!!!

[bioluminescently-unfolding]

This remains one of the great art objects of modern times and nobody will convince me otherwise.

[monstermonger]

He's worried about stepping on flowers. He loves nature.

[segamascott]

[le-tas-d-art]

“Attempting To Read News In 2025” (medium: safari with ads, screencap, 2025)

[biglawbear]

If this shit happened in 2005 it meant your computer had a virus

[dogpuppy]

[vmkhoneyy]

“People are inherently terrible” no!!! Have you ever seen a child wait for their friend while they tie their shoelaces? Have you ever known someone who would bring hurt squirrels and rabbits and mice to the nearest vet just so it doesn’t suffer? Have you seen someone grieve? Have you ever read something that hit your heart like a freight train? Have you looked at the stars and felt an unexplainable joy? Have you ever baked bread? Have you shared a meal with a friend? Have you not seen it? All the love? All the good? I know it’s hard to see sometimes, I know there’s pain everywhere. But look, there’s a child helping another up after a hard fall. Look, there’s someone giving their umbrella to a stranger. Look, there’s someone admiring the spring flowers. Look, there’s good, there’s good, there’s good. Look!!!!

[naamahdarling]

"We took in a kitten that was starving, injured, and shot with a pellet gun."

"Oh my god, people are awful!"

"They're not. A person rescued her, other people who are trained in helping animals treated her injuries to make her healthy again, and so so so many people contributed to pay her medical costs, I don't even know how many. That she was hurt by...what, one person? Three? Certainly not many. Is honestly maybe the least important and least meaningful part of her story."

"...Oh."

I am holding a triumph of human kindness in my lap right now and her name is Fancy.

[naamahdarling]

[great-and-small]

I’ll never forget I once had to break the news to two women that their dog had cancer, and as they cried and hugged and asked me questions I said something about how I was grateful this pup had such a loving family to support her- only for these ladies to inform me one of them wasn’t actually an owner at all, she was just the other woman’s Uber driver…

So this driver tells me she’s literally never met the other lady in her life, but when this passenger started crying in the car with her dog because she was worried, this angel in the form of an Uber driver went off the clock, came inside the building, and waited over an hour in a busy emergency room with a complete stranger just so she would have someone there by her side in a scary situation. This woman even took notes about everything I said so the owner wouldn’t have to try and remember it all later.

I see plenty of stuff at my job that makes me tempted to lose my faith in humanity but all I do is remember that Uber driver and it comes roaring back to me just like that. Humans are so unbelievably good, man.

[followthebluebell]

#weirdly it ended up being a uterine tumor (not super common) and the dog was cured with an OVH#a rare feel good story from the ER 🥹#Uber driver came for the dog’s follow up appointment as well!!!

[6qubed]

"the world is a cold and uncaring place" then warm it up. care, dammit

[the-haiku-bot]

“the world is a cold

and uncaring place” then warm

it up. care, dammit

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[fitzdyke]

caesars assassination but with empty cardboard tubes

[fitzdyke]

[uncle-beanbag]

Et tube Brute?

[collectivefandomstuff]

Ok now THIS is the stuff I wanted when I followed the Julius Caesar tag and I don’t even get it from there?? Am upset by this betrayal of the tumblr system

[kaladork]

I can hear the sound of bonking. Viscerally.

[hearteyes-wheeler]

Stab a politician day!!!!

[street-of-mercy]

Opening Tumblr on March 15th

[stevviefox]

Happy Stabby!!

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

happy ides of March

[skarabrae-stone]

[what-even-is-thiss]

Religion in fantasy worlds: Everyone believes the exact same things about Green Nature Goddess and has official rituals for her that are the same everywhere

Religion irl: Technically it’s heresy for me to worship this skeleton but my spiritual advisor said that it’s legit so I’m gonna keep giving it offerings of yogurt

[what-even-is-thiss]

Religion in fantasy worlds: We’ve gotta pour water over this statue or else the god will get angry

Religion irl: We’ve gotta pour water over this statue? Why? Idk man that’s just what you do. Just do it alright.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Religion in fantasy worlds: These are the rules. The rules are law. Nobody can break the rules.

Religion irl: Okay you say that there are “rules” but how exactly are we defining “rules” here? Like is a suggestion a rule? How are we defining suggestion? No come back. Listen. Are we going by nuance in the original language or are translations fine or-

[what-even-is-thiss]

High control religions/cults recruiting in fantasy worlds: Join us! For we shall all eat the moon! This is a legitimate position to have!

High control religions/cults recruiting irl: We have free snacks. That shirt looks sooo cute on you btw. What, you heard that we wanna eat the moon? The media is always telling lies about us you know. We may have some unorthodox opinions about the moon but, tell you what. Come get some snacks, make some new friends, maybe chat about the moon a bit. See what you think. We’ve got pizza.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Religions in fantasy worlds: We must make a sacrifice to appease the gods! *draws up a sacrifice circle and completely destroys the sacrifice*

Religions irl: We must make a sacrifice to appease the gods! *has a communal barbecue*

[werewolf-transgenderism]

only 62 more frogs until we hit 8,000 species described. the moment we've all been waiting for

[werewolf-transgenderism]

there are an average of about 150 new amphibian species described per year so I remain hopeful that 2026 will be the year of 8,000 frogs

[werewolf-transgenderism]

I do love that somebody tagged tumblr's own frog scientist on this post. chop chop dr scherz, we've got 62 more frogs to discover and you're the only frog scientist any of us knows

[cletusthurstonbeauregard]

👑

Her name is Penny.

[bish0ps]

[souliex]

The other perspective makes it funnier