Happy Leland Melvin Day!!!
Happy Leland Melvin Day!
Happy Leland Melvin Day!
Happy Leland Melvin Day!!!
Happy Leland Melvin Day!

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
occasionally subtle
Mike Driver

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if i look back, i am lost
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@spoopy-action-at-distance
Happy Leland Melvin Day!!!
Happy Leland Melvin Day!
Happy Leland Melvin Day!
Happy Leland Melvin Day!!!
Happy Leland Melvin Day!
TODAY IS A HOLY DAY
people say folks with adhd struggle with "delayed rewards" aka long term goals and as such we tend to focus more on short term rewards. what they don't talk about is that at when we Do accomplish long term goals we don't actually feel anything proportionate to the amount of work we did to achieve it. In my head I suffered for a while and then money spontaneously appeared in my bank account.
"Don't you feel satisfied that your windows are so clean now?" It sucked and it sucked and now I don't care. I just remember the sucking.
Hello, I have ADHD and I am also a licensed clinical therapist!
This part sucks. Not gonna lie to you. That said, our brains DO still get rewards, just not from "task completion" (something something, the combination of executive functioning whammy that is task initiation, task break down, task execution, and task transition following completion). Instead our rewards tend to come from one or more of a few areas:
Food. If you've ever seen the stat that ADHD folks are more likely to have "binge-eating" patterns related to sugar and carbohydrates, this is why! Simple sugars are an easy burst of energy, comfort, flavor, and sometimes even joy! For everyone, but for ADHD folks this may feel really significant because we so rarely have other reward responses
Drugs. People with unmanaged or undermanaged ADHD are more likely than non-ADHD peers to find themselves reliant on substances like alcohol, weed, cocaine, opioids, etc, due to the way these substances interact with our reward centers. And even once our disabling symptoms are well accommodated, reliance on substances to induce reward responses is still common, and can be essential to the "rest and decompress" process that our autonomic system (the sympathetic nervous system specifically) needs in order to reduce hyperactivity of motor movements, thoughts, or activation/reactivity responses.
Mentally/emotionally stimulating activities. This one is vague. But that's because they're going to be different for every person, and likely different even within one person's lifetime! For example, right now my "stimulation exposure" activities are to go outside on the deck with my dogs and tear bits of herbs off my garden growths to chew on (combining sunshine, watching my dogs play or playing with then, and fun variable tastes works well for me), or maybe putting on my noise cancelling headphones to my "caberet" or "southern gothic" playlists while I curl up in bed with some hot tea (the caffeine in the tea is regulated when I feel hyperactive, and the heat, steam, and flavor make for great mindfulness opportunities. Also, the music lets me shrink my world to a size that is tolerable for me at that moment), or diving into whatever my latest research project is (who doesn't love a research rabbit hole!)
Sometimes individuals have other things that can trigger rewards for them, and it's always worth making a note when you run across something like that!
I find that by popping off one of these options DURING or IMMEDIATELY AFTER a task that would otherwise be next to impossible to get thru without becoming a raging self hating asshole can make a big difference in how one experiences that task.
Examples: when I need to clean the house because my maintenance routine has fallen apart, I prep a vape with sativa delta or sativa THC, and shove it in my binder. I take a hit periodically throughout the task process to keep me functional and regulated. I also set pomodoro timers for 45 min each so I can alternate between "working" and "resting".
When I fall behind on notes, my wife buys me peanut M&Ms from the corner store and I pop a pair of M&Ms for every late note I submit for work.
When I'm having a low-function work day, I will prioritize taking my breaks outside with the dogs, and sometimes will splash water around from the hose on them and myself for a bit of a temperature change.
If I've overextended myself but still have essential tasks to complete, I will pause about every 15-30min to do a breathing exercise (5-6 count breath in through the nose, and 2-3 count breath out through the mouth - this is really good for short energy boosts and overcoming brainfog)
It's important to keep in mind, that these are not "incentives" in the traditional sense, where if you don't do the task, you don't get the reward. ANY use of your executive functioning would be rewarded in the brain to some extent for regulated neurotypicals, and just because our reward systems aren't great at self-activating as expected, doesn't mean we should have to live without the positive reinforcement that EVERYONE is supposed to get. So if you made an attempt at the thing, you get to trigger your reward response.
Overtime, myself and clients I work with have all noticed a shift in how we perceive tasks once this becomes common practice. Because we now have history and memories of tasks feeling positive to do (even when they are demanding or difficult for us), it becomes easier to interact with that task overall. You start to better notice the changes in approach that may make it even easier. You stop dreading the knowledge that the task needs to be done. It's easier to hop back into maintenance routines even after they've fallen apart. Basically, when you manually trigger what your brain NEEDS and can't self-create, a lot of the distressing aspects of executive function become WAY more manageable.
There's also a lot to be said about the experience of shifting self shaming and self blaming around what it means to "succeed" at a thing or "complete" a task, but that's sort of a different post. For now, suffice to say that being the kind and compassionate and understanding person you likely are for others, FOR YOURSELF, makes a big difference in how easy or hard the above strats will be to execute.
You probably know a few of the things that manually trigger that reward response for you. How can you make that ability work in your favor?
So if your brain won't give you a reward for completeing a task...store bought is fine?
I donât think any movie will make me feel the same ethereal sense of otherworldly sorrow and disembodied awe as that scene in Lord of the Rings where the loyal son is sent off into a doomed battle to please his vindictive father while Pippin sings a mourning song of his people
I was like 12 and high off this shit
These movies CHANGED ME
This is one of my favourite parts of the whole trilogy. Itâs haunting.
And that Pippin takes actually a happy walking song of his people, because Hobbit songs are generally happy and about food and drink and gifts and things, and *transforms* it into a mourning song.
The song is from Fellowship, before all the heavy plot hits and theyâre still in the Shire. Itâs about walking, and how eventually all the bad things that scare or sadden you will fade away and youâll be home warm by the fire.
And Pippin takes it, changes the lines, the key, and sings a song that is truly fit for Denethorâs great hall.
Knowing Billy Boyd gave his own melody to it and everyone had chills after hearing him sing it. This is how you get actors involved with the story and character, this is how amazingly well these films were cast. Fans have been singing that haunting tune in echoing halls and caves and towers for 20 years now and it never loses its beauty.
Home is behind
The world ahead
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadow
To the edge of night
Until the stars are all alight
Mist and shadow
Cloud and shade
All shall fade
All shall
Fade
And even better: Billy Boyd composed the tune to the song and then performed it for Peter Jackson and everyone else while filming. They only did one take! That very first take is the one thatâs used in the film! Heâs just that good!!
Every now and then I like to pull up this video of Billy Boyd being endearing and silly and choked up about Boromirâs death scene, and then performing this song upon request:
I sing it as a lullaby to my children but I use the original âaway shall fadeâ to make it less sad because theyâre just babies. uwu
Not even my fandom and I have chills.
You know what, Iâm not done. Every aspiring writer should watch that scene and keep in mind the axiom âevery person is the protagonist in their own mind,â because Denethor and Pippin are having TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT CONVERSATIONS.
Hereâs the translation of how it goes.
WHAT DENETHOR SAYS: can you sing, Master Hobbit?
WHAT DENETHOR MEANS: I want entertainment and youâre from far lands. Thatâs a novelty here.
WHAT PIPPIN HEARS: I donât care that I just sent my son to his death. Entertain me.
WHAT PIPPIN SAYS: yes. Well, well enough for my own people. But we have no songs fit for great halls.
WHAT PIPPIN MEANS: yes. But not for you. And our songs arenât for people who engage in such cruelty.
WHAT DENETHOR HEARS: yes, but Iâm embarrassed because mine are simple folk, and youâre very grand and regal. Thereâs no way I could be of any use to you.
WHAT DENETHOR SAYS: and why should your songs be unfit for my halls? Sing me a song.
WHAT DENETHOR MEANS: weâre all equals culturally. Iâm a benevolent ruler, I donât think your songs are inferior to those produced by my skilled musicians. Let me engage with your culture.
WHAT PIPPIN HEARS: I have literally already forgotten about my son. Iâm more interested in entertainment and food, things you normally adore and which Iâm making a mockery of by my actions. So sing to me songs of those things you love, entertainment and food. My son doesnât matter to me and shouldnât matter to you.
And then Pippin sings.
WHAT DENETHOR HEARS: what a pretty little song.
WHAT PIPPIN IS SAYING WITH THE SONG: fuck you for doing this to your son, who I love. Fuck you for doing this to me, as I mourn. Fuck you for making a mockery of the things I love, when itâs clear you donât care for them any more than you do for YOUR SON. Your child, who you should want to protect. If you wonât mourn in these halls, by everything I hold dear I swear SOMEONE will.
Pippin canât say any of this out loud. But his word choices are extremely deliberate. And so are Denethorâs! He does not see himself as a bad person! I donât know enough LOTR to know if heâs a villain or just an asshole, but the important thing here is HE THINKS OF HIMSELF AS NEITHER. Heâs a good guy whoâs had to make some hard choices, thatâs all. Itâs the editing that tells you heâs not actually that at all.
This is a MASTERCLASS in âeveryone is their own protagonistâ and if this is the standard the movies rise to all the time I understand why yâall love them so much, because holy shit. Thatâs incredible.
work in progress
A man takes his sadness down to the river and throws it in the river but then heâs still left with the river. A man takes his sadness and throws it away but then heâs still left with his hands.
- Richard Siken, âBoot Theoryâ (2005)
few things more humbling than the realization that you really do write the same fic(s) over and over again
[GIF of Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine-Nine saying "And you'll hear it again!]
Tribute to Anomalocaris
Not a Perspectives post, still working on the next one of those. Anomalocaris also isn't exactly the great grandpappy of all arthropods, but...close enough lol
[Image ID: Tweet from pea poopingirl @/PoopingIRL on 8/14/23 - i think the idea of a shady dwarven salesman selling "cheap" stuff to humans and laughing to himself like "heh it will only last one generation, those stupid idiots, how will they even pass it down to their kids" forgetting that one dwarf generation is like 4 human ones is funny. There's a black bar at the bottom with an iFunny watermark in the corner. End ID.]
Elf ea-nasir selling mithril armor that will last no more than 1,000 years getting death threats from his fellow elves but doing numbers w/humans
being a kid before wikipedia and smartphones meant these books were the coolest things youâd ever seen
I REMEMBER THESE
Genuinely love the lack of the plural in so many titles. This is the book about Shark. This is the book about Mummy. This is the book about Knight. Oh, and another book about more Knight. Sorry, canât hang out today, Iâm staying home to learn more about ROBOT
Flying Bats, woodblock print by Kono Bairei
it's really weird having a first dog be blind and then getting a second who can see...like how was I supposed to be prepared for this.
this creature can perceive when I put the treats up on the high shelf. or when I hide stuff behind my back. I can't fool her!! she's always watching me and she shouldn't have this much knowledge!!!
I walk around at night and I shine my flash light directly into her eyes and I'll just be standing there staring at her weird blue orbs for like 5 seconds until I realize it's probably extremely annoying to her, because she has eyes!! I'll turn on the light in the room and she gruffs and grumbles like ?? oh right!! light wakes you up!! the fuck??
the absolutely wild implication of this, that god was previously playing fast and loose with his own acts of good and evil but then had to start being considerate about what he was doing because now mankind is watching and we know.
God's worst mistake was opening our eyes and mouths, for now we can turn to him and name his sins
that last comment is one of those things that'll wind up on a graphically designed poster and people will wonder who said it, was it shakespeare, was it martin luther, was it euripedes, but alas no, it was tumblr user @villainessbian on a post about blind dogs
Kintsugi is a Japanese art that repairs broken pottery with gold, rendering a new piece that is more exquisite than it was before the break
A two-layer lino print of a transmasculine body with gold details representing top and bottom surgery scars. Available in my shop here!
Saddle-billed Storks (Ephippiorhynchus senegalensis), L- female & R - male, family Ciconiidae, Londolozi, South Africa
Photograph by Anthony Goldman
not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like âi saw her at the devils sacrament!!!â girl⌠what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament đ
If ANYTHING is a heritage post itâs this.
they should have a cambrian explosion again
It's weird how geological time works. Eras start and end bit by bit over the course of hundreds of thousands of years. That sounds like a big uncertainty but that sort of timescale, on which the climate can overhaul itself completely and entire species rise and fall, is instantaneous compared to the age of the earth. Any hypothetical sentient creature would have no idea it was living through a major turning point. The Silurian slid into the Devonian as land plants became A Thing and insects started to wonder if 'pilot' might be a good career path, but there was no one moment when one thing ended and another began. That's not how that works...
... except for the Cretaceous. The Cretaceous had a Last Day and it was probably in April, and then the next day it was the Paleogene.
So, fun fact: The Cretaceous-Paleogene boundary is defined, specifically, as the layer of the iridium anomaly. In other words, the roughly geologically synchronous event where the space dust rained out of the atmosphere.
Only....that's not the instant the asteroid hits. When the asteroid hits, the Earth's crust melts and freezes to glass, tidal waves flood continents, wildfires rage, and vaporised bits of Earth and the Chicxulub impactor are thrown into the air. This condenses and freezes to dust, which circulates in the atmosphere.
How long does that dust circulate before officially ringing in the Cenozoic by raining down onto the sediments of Earth? A few days. What's more amazing? On top of the fused glass of the crater, but below the iridium anomaly, are fossils of bacteria. Nothing is truly barren for long. Life's recovery begins instantly.
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