I have this passion fruit juice that tastes weird (like passion fruit) and I don't know what to do with it except make more drinks. The Kahlua Maya Passion one seems super weird though. Coffee and fruit??? I would have thought it could never be done! Let's see if it still can't...
2 oz. passion fruit juice
Shake with ice, strain garnish with orange twist garnish.
I used Kahlua brand Kahlua (how's that for authenticity!), Milagro tequila, Juarez triple sec, Ceres passion fruit juice, and a passion fruit chew as a garnish. It's actually passion fruit flavored! It pretty much just tastes like mushed generic fruit.
I used passion fruit juice straight from the fridge instead of shaking with ice. I know, incredibly lazy. Let's say I'm experimenting with how little ice I can use.
2. Photographs of the Passion:
Although that picture generally looks too froofy for something with the word passion in it, I do like that the garnish appears to be a blood orange. That's some serious style. Otherwise it looks a little overdelicate.
Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to lead you to think mine was better. I like that my picture is low quality and grainy because I am not a photographer, because that seems like passion. A little distracted, a little hard to focus.
This is sickly sweet. It tastes as though taffy were melted into an actual liquid instead of sludge. The Kahlua is undetectable, except as the ghost of an aftertaste. Kahlua is coffee flavored, for anyone who hasn't played with it. The coffee flavored is more gentle than the sweetness, which is why a proper White Russian tastes like chocolate milk. This just tastes like the results of a candy factory fire where everyone made it out safely and there was no property damage.
You just got promoted to head science for a big corporation! All of your coworkers congratulate you. Now you can spend all of your time in the lab, like you've always wanted! Holding beakers, not sniffing beakers, accidentally knocking over beakers--a dream come true!
Your boss claps you on the back with a big smile that tells you he's looking forward to be elsewhere, and asks if you're ready for your first assignment. Well, are you? Of course you are! You hold your hand out tentatively for a beaker, and he looks at it confusedly.
"We're sending you to the forests of Wlienmpto. We need some kind of sample from a tree. Here's the file."
He gives an award-winning smile to your dumbstruck face and walks out.
You are absolutely astounded. Sure, you maybe should have expected that being promoted meant you would have to do some paperwork in the lab apart from just testing. You were pretty sure you could have delegated that out, and all that would be left was the lab work. Now you have to travel to a country you had never heard of?
You flip open the file, and inside there are some tickets. You're leaving tomorrow morning. You're a scientist, so you don't think to pack anything but focus all of your energies on getting your experiments into hibernation or turned over to someone else. You're still in the lab at the time the car pulls up outside your house and calls you, and you make it come to work instead so you can head to the plane.
You grabbed some chocolate bars from the vending machine because you are useless when your blood sugar drops. On the plane you mumble to yourself while working out scientific theorems on cocktail napkins. It would be great if you had saved those because they were groundbreaking, but you were distracted by your fear of flying.
When you land, you are taken on a tour of a cryogenic freezing facility. In your excitement, you totally forget about the plant sample and freeze yourself a la Futurama. Instead of unfreezing you, the staff wanders off to do their research. You were the expert, they figure you know what they're doing.
The cryogenic chamber works like a house on fire, but doesn't prevent your blood sugar from dropping. When you come to, you are exhausted and zombie like. You notice you are still in the open chamber, but the area has become a giant office space and the man nearest you is staring aghast. You learn later the chambers were bought and turned into decor.
You tell the man your blood sugar problem, and he whips up a Kahlua Maya Passion with what he has on hands. The drink is so sugary that it instantly revives you. You ask what year it is, and where you are. He tells you you are in Manhatten in the 1960's.
You sit down, shaking, at first with fear thinking of all the things you left in what would now be considered the year -340832048 (that was a great cryogenic chamber, it got you through some big bangs), but then with excitement at the thought of exposing these people to all of the scientific advancements you know and never having to leave a laboratory again.
"Do you know what Keroril's theorum is?" You ask, shyly.
The stranger shakes his head, no.
You feel a huge smile creep along your face.
[Note: The English language, planes, chocolate, automobiles, science corporations, and other advancements in cultural evolution are fixed points that occur in every iteration of humankind. That's why you could talk to the 1960's guy and there was chocolate before.]
